Punch (7.1844)

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 35

THE BOY JONES AND THE BOY JOINVILLE.

The eyes of Europe are once more upon the Boy Jones. Well,
the eyes of Europe have very often been turned upon more insig-
nificant persons. We confess it—we have a regard for the Boy
Jones. Whether he be really nephew or not of George Jones,
of Ancient America, Esq.,— we have nevertheless a regard for
the youth, who at so early an age associated his name with the
annals of his country ; for what future History of England, we ask,
will be complete omitting all notice of Jones ?

Poor boy ! If fortune were not as perverse as a. prima donna, the
Boy Jones would have been born in some western square ; would
have learned his humanities at College, and so been regularly trained
for public place. Only think of the Boy Jones, as Home Secretary,
at the Post Office ! As it is, we have only the heavy Graham. At
least, we should have had sprightliness casting its charm over illega-
lities ; Jones would have broken a seal with a whim apologetic of
the felony, whilst Graham—but we will not pursue the contrast.

Jones is a genius. That of the millions who gaze upon the awful
walls of Buckingham Palace, shut out from them as from Paradise,
Jones should have been the only daring spirit that conceived a
design to pass them—to dip his plebeian fingers in the custards of
the royal larder—to creep up the royal chimneys—to crouch beneath
the royal sofa, thereby (as his uncle, George Jones, has written to
Punch,) "causing her Majesty so much alarm;"—that he alone should
have done this makes Jones— whatever his real time of life may be
—far in advance of his age. And her Majesty—bless her !—saw
the daring in its proper li>;ht ; and therefore, as it now appears, sent
the Boy Jones on board the Warspite (whence the world has just
heard of him,) with a recommendation to the Captain to watch " his
dawning merits," that Jones may, in good time, sport epaulets.

A recent letter tells us that Jones fell overboard off Tunis in the
first-watch ; when the life-buoy, " which blazed away with a steady
and beautiful light," was let go, and Jones clinging to it, called out
to the boat's-crew, " here I am—look lively !" However, the writer
insinuates that Jones jumped overboard, " and that for no other
purpose than to see the life-buoy light burning." This is a slander.
The truth is, the poor boy had been reading in the fore-chains his
uncle Jones's Ancient America ; whereupon, he naturally fell into a
sleep, which lasted many hours, and in his sleep fell overboard ! His
life was saved for greater things.

However, we are happy to have heard thus incidentally of the
Boy Jones; as his whereabout is a sufficient evidence of the watch-
fulness of Ministers as regards the designs of France on Morocco.

dubs the hero who "once caused her so much alarm,"—the intruding
boy, who, according to his own report, once heard the Pbinctss
Royal " squeak."

We put it to Mr. George Jones, as a man and an ancient
historian,—should so likely an event come to pass, would he then
deny his nephew, the Boy Jones \ Punch thinks not.

ADVERTISEMENT.

Mr. Punch has the honour to inform the Public that he has lately
Slaughtered a fine Russian Bear,

Sure we are that neither Sir Chari.es Napier nor Lord Minto { which has been e. *. uu alter the most approved Fashion, and will continue
would have twitted the Admiralty with neglect had they only known ^ to be served outfo* trie benefit of the unfortunate Poles of the Metropolis,
that the Boy Jones was on the Gibraltar station. We at once The Public are respectfully warned against the nauseous stuff called
acknowledge the profound policy of Ministers : it is their intention to "Russian Balm," which has been laid on so uncommonly thick by some

meet Joinville with the Boy Jones ! There is, if we mistake not,
a minor theatre drama called The Prince and the Chimney Sweep ;
and we have no doubt that this piece will, sooner or later, be revived
on the high seas, with—as Mr. Osbaldiston has it—" new and
startling effects ; the whole to conclude with the destruction of the
enemy's fleet !"

Yes: let Joinville hover on the coast of Morocco, Britannia
may be as mild as a Quakeress, for has she not at Gibraltar her
babe of glory—the Jervis of the chimney—the Nelson of the
larder,—her Boy Jones? It may, possibly, wound the self-love of
the French to learn that we pit our Jones against their royal
admiral; nevertheless, up to the present moment, is not the achieve-
ment of greatest daring on the side of our hero ? We taste the fulness
of content to know it is so. To quote the sweet song of a sweet
singer—

" As the pause upon the ceasing of a thousand-voiced psalm,
Is our mighty satisfaction and full eternal calm,"—

to know that wheresoever Joinville is, there henceforth will be
Jones ; that whensoever it may please the French Admiral to
attempt a descent on Brighton, Margate, or Heme Bay, Jones,

" Like a sweet little cherub will sit up aloft,
And keep watch for the life of John Bull ! "

And when some twenty years have passed away, pleasing it will
be to see the Boy Jones—then Post-Captain Jones—kneeling to
receive the honour of knighthood from our darling Queen, sur-
rounded by her seventeen sons and daughters ; most pleasant will
it be to mark the sly yet benignant smile with which Her Majesty

of Mr. Punch's contemporaries.

tEfjEatrital Imdli'ctfnfr.

We understand that the lovely and accomplished dancer of the High-
land Fling at a celebrated suburban Tea-garden has eloped with the
facetious and insinuating prima buffo of a rival establishment. The buffo
had been starring it for a benefit at the Tea-garden where the fair votary
of Terpsichore wes permanently engaged, and is said to have won her
heart by the exquisite feeling he threw into the song of " Werry Ridi-
culous." The inamorata, who had to dance a naval hornpipe immediately
afterwards, was observed to go through the double shuffle with much
embarrassment, and drops—since supposed to have been tears—were
remarked on her countenance during the final hitching up of the white
trousers at the conclusion of the effort. A short time afterwards, while
the buffo was on the stage, she was seen to watch him with intense
interest, and at a particular passage in "0 ! Don't I Love my Mother,''
she was led in strong hysterics to the green-room—a detached section of
the bar-parlour. The first restoratives that were at haud being freely
resorted to, the danseuse became considerably better, and at the end of
the performance neither she nor the buffo were anywhere to be found
The happy pair were traced as having gone by the " last omnibus," and
letters were received the next day from Chelsea, stating that they had
been linked in the bands of Hymen, and intended joining in a grand pas
de deux for the remainder of their mutual existence.

The young lady has at present nothing in her own right, and will be
entitled to as much again on the death of all her relatives. The gay
Lothario holds a dishonoured bill of a minor theatrical manager, which
he endorsed to his lovely partner previous to the performance of line
marriage ceremony, so that it has all the force of a settlement.