Punch (58.1870)

Jons 18, 1870.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

241

THE FENIAN'S QUICK MARCH FROM. CANADA..

" Run away, run. boys, run:
Eacli throw away his gun.

To the right about! "

We raised the shout,
And did all of us fly like fun.

Bullets of Volunteers
Whistled around our ears,

The Canadian shot

Made heroes trot;
Did it not so, my brave compeers F

Some, to the rifle's crack,
Fell, being hit in back,

But we mostly sped

Right clear, ahead,
As we fast reversed our track.

We were the boys that beat,
Faith, what a fine retreat!

At a double quick

Step, quite the kick,
Bad cess to the foemen's feet!

Slay to be tamely caught ?
Perish so base a thought!

For the necktie's loose,

The Saxon noose,
For the Sons of Freedom, taut.

Blow the brass trumpet, come,
Bang the big hollow drum,

And defiance roar

To Britain's shore :
We skedaddled, hat won't be dumb.

"a thing of beauty."

Visitor. " Well, George, and what do you Mean to be, when top have
Grown Up ? ''

Gforge (promptly). " An Artist ! "

Visitor. "Well, tbex, you shall Paint my Portrait."
George. " Ah ! but I mean to Paint Pretty Things ! ! "

Catechism for the Home Secretary.

What difference is there between Cabs under the OJd
Law and Cabs under the New ?

State the advantages to Londoners derived from the
use of Flags on Cabs ?

mrs. ramsbotham.

Mrs. Lavinia Ramsbotham writes to say that she
is inclined towards Riddleism. She has already purchased
all the photographs of the Clergy of St. Album's, Holborn.

OUR NIGGER HIGHWAYMEN.

America, a while ago, was troubled by the Blacks, and just now we
in London ere pestered by the Lamp-Blacks. Sham niggers flock to
town on their journey to the races, and make it their head-quarters for
a chief part of the season. From Camberwell to Highgate, from Ken-
sington to Hackney, there is scarcely to be found a so-called quiet
street but all day long it echoes with the rattling of the bones and the
twanging of the banjo. Policemen are in vain appealed to for relief.
Their sympathies are mostly on the side of the street minstrels. In
the ears of cooks and housemaids such music finds much favour, and
it is a weakness of the Force to obey their fair enslavers. So they let,
the black-faced banjo-plajers bellow as they please, and do not even
beg of them to warbje sootto voce.

Unvexed by the Police, the Blacks infest a street until they have
levied some black mail from its inhabitants. This having been ex-
acted, the brigands then proceed to pillage the next street, levelling
their banjos at the ears of all its inmates. Surely, thus extorting
money is a sort of highway robbery, and ought to' be punished by a
sufficient penalty. Fifty years ago suspected highwaymen were hung ;
'twas death to be seen upon the highway with one's face blacked!
What a blessing it would be if such were now the case ! Only make
it penal to be seen with a blacked face, and, though infested still by
organ-grinders, German band-its, bagpipe-squealers, fiddlers, fluters,
fiowlers, harpers, horn-blowers, and otuer noisy ruffians, our highways
would, at least, be freed from nigger highwaymen.

Wales in Ireland.

If the Prince of Wales has any intention of buying Tolly-more for
an [rush residence—as we sincerely hope he has-nil we can say is
folk moras; " or in English, " the sooner the better."

FIGARO'S "FOLLE JOURNEE."

Lting, like truth, is a dangerous game. The world's ready belief of
the lie often proc'aims its opinion of the liar. The French Figaro,
by the announcement that he had sold himself to the Republicans, in
a number made up of forged articles purporting to be from famous
Republican bands—has sold not only the Parisian gobemouches, but the
Times and other sober English organs of opinion.

Figaro cares little about selling other papers : his real object, of
course, was to sell Figaro ; and this he has done, to the tune of 150,000
copies.

Such a success shows not only the ability of the hoax, but its .pro-
bability.

Who would believe that Punch had sold himself—say, to the Protec-
tionists, or the Ritualists, to Whalley and Newdegate, or Man-
ning and the Propaganda, to Hardy and hot Toryism, or the Right
Honourable Benjamin Lothair—even though he proclaimed the trans-
action, in leaded type, and imitated ever so well the fire of the great
guns—breech-loaders, charged from behind—of Protection, Priestcraft,
Protestant intolerance, Romanist retrogression, Tory indignation, or
Tory education ? _

Great Boon to Birmingham.

There is no truth in the rumour that a subscription has been set on
foot in Birmingham for the purpose of adorning that city with a Statue
of Mr. Lowe. It is, however, probable that a deputation of gunsmiths
will wait upon the Chancellor of the Exchequer, and present the
Right Honourable Gentleman with a verbal testimonial of their grati-
tude for the boon which he will confer upon their trade by imposing a
tax on fire-arms.

From Ireland.— Good name for an Auctioneer's Wife.— Biddy.