Punch: Punch (70.1876)

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [June 24, 1876.

"O WILD WEST WIND!"

Walking abroad in one of his loftiest Moods, and seeking for Inspiration on a Lonely Heath, our youthful Poet
comes upon a Laundry-Yard, and sees Under-Garments of all Sizes flaunting in the Gale.

\Lcst the susceptibilities of the more refined should be shocked, we Imsten to stale that the habiliments depicted above belong exclusively
to the Male Sex.

THE SCIENCE SHOW, SOUTH KENSINGTON.

We now resume and conclude our extracts from the MS. notes
contained in a copy of the Catalogue found in the Exhibition of
Scientific Apparatus, and which, strange to say, still lies unclaimed.
The disconsolate owner can have it on application at the Office of
this Journal; but, that we may be satisfied he is the rightful claim-
ant, and endowed with the profound scientific knowledge which it
is clear the writer of the Notes must have possessed, it will be requi-
site that he should submit to an examination in two at least of the
following subjects treated of in the Catalogue:—Kinematics, Mole-
cular Physics, Biology, and Crystallography.

" Punching Instrument." Quite superfluous. There is too much
" punching " going on already. {See the daily papers.)

The Original Traversing Lifting Jack." Very delusive. Visitors
who come expecting to see "Jack" perform some extraordinary feat
of pedestrianism, or lift enormous weights without any apparent
effort, will be greatly disappointed. At least we saw nothing of the
kind even attempted.

" Mule for Spinning Cotton." Naturalists, Zoologists, and others,
should compare the Hydraulic Ram, the Steam Donkey Engine, the
Bulldog Clam, the Skeleton of a Rhombohedron, and, in Mr. Frank
Buckland's interesting collection, the Telescope Fish.

" Skew Mitres." The attention of the Episcopal Bench is respect-
fully invited. The same competent authorities are also requested to
examine and report on the " Series of Temples (20 in number)."

" Three Models of an Eccentric Circle." There are so many eccen-
tric circles both at home and abroad, that without more precise in-
formation as to the particular circle here indicated, all conjecture on
the subject would be as impertinent as it would be idle.

"Lazy Tongs." Obviously the 'set is incomplete, wanting both
the lethargic poker and the listless shovel.

«' Whirling Table." What Spiritualist sent it ?
t " The Original Copper-Zinc Couple." Almost as great an attrac-
tion as the Sirens. Believed to be unique. Beware of counterfeits.

This is the original copper-zinc couple. No other is genuine. They
have always kept themselves respectable, and never had parish
relief.

" Glass Digester." Invaluable to persons troubled with dyspepsia.
"Aspirator." Equally invaluable to persons troubled by the
letter H.

" Self-recording Machine." An honest and conscientious use of
this instrument cannot fail to make us all better men and women
and domestic servants.

" New Levelling Instrument." It is understood that the Leaders
of the Conservative Party are about to enter a protest against the
public exhibition of such a dangerous machine. The Committee of
the Carlton Club have the matter in hand.

" Skeleton of Gibbon." Alas! what a Decline and Fall for the
Great Historian of the Roman Empire ! Mondays, Tuesdays, and
Saturdays free ; other days sixpence! Ought to have been placed
near " Napier's Bones."

One word at parting. Do not yield to the impatience and impor-
tunity of friends, do not quit the Exhibition before you have
visited the "Dioptric Holophote," the " Pair of TJndemagnetizable
Coils," the "Attracted Disc Heterostatic Station-Electrometer,"
"Weber's Synamphophthalmoscope," and the " Sphygmodyna-
mometer " ; and rest assured that you will never cease to regret
your error, if you mingle again with the outer world and go back to
all the conventionalisms of this hollow existence, without standing
face to face with " The first Instrument used to electrify the Ink
Bottle of the Syphon Hecorder."

A Slap at Sceptics.

Mgr. Dupanloup, Bishop of Orleans, has written a pamphlet
arguing that, in consequence of the triumphant progress of Atheism
and Materialism, society and religion are in the greatest peril. 1ms
essay is entitled Whither are We Going t A better title for it would
be Where do You Expect to Go to f