Punch / Almanack: Punch / Almanack (1849)

CAMBRIDGE UNIYERSITT-AS IT WAS, AND AS IT WILL BE.

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THE UNIVERSITY ALMANACK.

AS IT WAS.

Hilary.—On mild days, run with
Pytchtey or burst with Hardwick. In
frosty mornings, sparring will keep
your pins and pegs in fine order.
Strong and warm night-caps used, for
which " lambswool 'is a good mate-
rial, and may be thus made:—Gin,
rum, strong ale, and spice. Cambridge
prefers " Bishop," from respect to
Establishment, while Oxford leans to
'• Cardinal."

Easter.—Many Cantabs sold in New-
market. Many books made about this
time. Throughout May, Cam and Isis
covered with eight-oars, " Youth at
the prow, and Folly at the helm."
The favourite "humped," which is a
stopper to his backer. (Oh!) Cram
for Oxford collections and Cambridge
examinations. "Wet towels round head
much worn in evenings and cards cut
till examinations shuffled through.

L. Vac— Many Heading parties go
out, to Jersey, Guernsey. isle of
"Wight, Normandy, Wales, and Scot-
tish Highlands. Libraries of these
parties consist of cigar-cases, spirit-
flasks, fishing rods, rifles, sketching-
stools, and small-talk; a little game
and a great deal of time killed.

Michaelmas.—Freshmen come up,
and stale jokes played off. Ten men
asked to breakfast with Vice-Chancel-
lor. Town-and-Gown Rows flourish
during November, and many liargees
give and take bloody noses. Damp
weather invites to frequent drains.
"1 >og-fighting vainly struggled with, and
denouncing long ticks gone through
as usual.

AS IT WILL

Hilar]/.—Now plunge into your
problems. A dose of Political Economy
before breakfast will brace system,
and a good f^rind at Mill will warm
you. At breakfast-table, let fossil
bones of extinct species divide atten-
tion with broiled ditto of existing
animals. Let use of globes supersede
that of gloves. To bed on stiff dose of
mixed Mathematics.

Easter.—Now canter over domains
of Modern History—taking care not
to fall into erroneous theories. The
May-fly suggests studies in Entomo-
logy, and Paley and Palaeontology
may be carried on together. Con-
versaziones in fashion among the
young men this month, in which Tea,
Toast, Theology, Ethics, Pneumatics,
Botany, Mineralogy, Civil Law, and
Chemistry, are served up. The only
feast-days feasts of Reason, and flow
of Copus and Episcopus (or Bishop)
stopped for flow of soul

L. Vac—Several Beading parties
go out—to look for North Pole by light
of magnetic dip. Several eggs boiled
by enthusiastic students in Great
Geyser, and vapours of Grotto del
Cane analysed in Dog-days. British
grasses greedily devoured, and insects
of our island all impaled.

Michaelmas. -Youthful devotee of
Science received to bosom of* Alma
Mater. Many accidents from playing
at Chemistry. Cam and Isis set on
fire in attempt to discover Perpetual
Motion. Man from public school be-
takes himse lf to Mathematics. Found
to have escaped from private asylum.