Punch or The London charivari (4.1843)

PUNCH, OR THE LOXDOX CHARIVARI.


our "jenkins at home.'

THE "POST" IN "PARADISE.

Jenkins -henceforth and for ever our own -Jenkins has, within the
pnst week, been in Paradise. Why need he care for the contested Earldorn
of Bletheranskate, so long as he can enjoy the delights of Fop's Alley .
Why need he repine over the bread and onion, and the half pint of porter
left bv his landlady on the stairs, when he can pick up crumbs" from
Signor Lablache 1 No—no ; three nights a week Jenkins of the PAst is
in Paradise ; though his washerwoman dun him. Dumilatre sublimates
him with a smile.
But let us hear Jekkiss—for henceforth we have no taste for John
Milton—on Paradise. J.-nkins says—
" The opera is *.tortofan.HHpated Paradise, which lose? all Hi _«.«'-aH k» ooluptu-
mi repose, if your neighbours breath-on >/ou the spirit of coarse mortaMv. On .he one
sideyoumay have a box where parvenu* charmed with their own voices, drown with in-
cessant uproar those of the virtuosi. On the other side, night alter night, you may have

NEW POST-OFFICK" REGULATION'S.

As the building opposite the English Opera-house is rapidly approach-
ing completion, and as it is to be intended for the Morning Post office
—the Bureau du potean du matin, as their foreign correspondent call.-i
it—the following Regulations have been drawn up ; any neglect of the
due observance of which will be severely punished, as by these means
alone can that journal sustain the high repute in which it is universally
held by all classes, from the " frowsy city dames," to the * ornaments of
society"—we quote Jenkins of last week.
&ttte$ antr lirgufatiatia.
1. Tint all common people be excluded from having an}" connexion with the
pnper.
2. That the compositors work in white neckcloths, kid gloves, and patent
pumps, to remove any taint of vulgarity from their labours; and thar

your eye. martyrized by the sight of om „ ^Ci f ^ i, „ / ' ?T T • ' °' , , , '
point dressed in gold and silver, mixed wit/ail the colours ot the rainbow-^r^ Z ' . _ ^he papers he damped with rose-water prev.ou, to going to press
our of countenance, and lookiag like a twelfth-night queen on a Christmas cake. You *hat the editor be acquainted with at leatt twelve words of French n_d si:
night "XVg eent!er ne,ghb°urs to listen to such dulcet notes as Persiani uttered last of Italian, upon which he can ring the changes repeatedly. And that

^ - following the custom of Gray, he appears in full court dress whenever
We trust that henceforth the ladies east of Temple Bar will not breath? he writes an aristocratic article,
a too "coarse mortality "on the sensitive plant of The Morning Post. 4. That every opera evening a bandbox be in waiting to onvey Jenkins from
How dreadful would it be if Jenkins were to die of a Lady Mayoress ! his attic to the three shilling gallery.
In another article, Jenkins calls himself a " juiet critic": "— 5. That no vulgar luxuries, as beer or pipes, be allowed in the office, hut that
" It is the predominance in numbers of such gay votaries of her Majesty's Theatre that : enu sucre'e and JUur d'orange be permitted to the press-men and
renders necessary the presence of us quiet critics, who have been for more than a quarter ! Compositors.
of a century devoted admirers of Kalian lyrics, and have followed as their shadows, and 5 Tnat eVfrv me8gen_er cotriine (rem the east of Temple-bar he instructed to
in the intimacy of private life, the greatest artists—picking up the crumbs of their . - 5 6 _:_„»_„ „„J„r the nor'ico of the Fnelish
•pinion* and judgments, as the Turks say, and studying their phy^Mogj, as our Gallic ^ perform quarantine for ten minutes, under the poraco M Hie CmgllM
neighbour* express it." Opera; and that he be sprinkled with bouquet de la reine before be
Punch believes in the doctrine of metempsychosis, and, looking into enters the office,
futurity, sees the spirit of Jenkins informing the body of a blind fiddler's1 7. That Jenkins do continually carry n bag of patchouli round las neck, to
cur. wagging his tail, and "picking up the crumbs " that fall from his overcome any aroma of his herring meal that^may remain behind ; his
rosin-scraping master. Punch predicts that Jekkins will not be called non-compliance to be punished with one week's confinement in the city.
Pompey or Caesar, but Post_always Post .' Anti that he be instructed to say that he resides in May Fair, over the
-.________ ahimode establishment, and not in Long-acre.
A NEW COLONV. 8. That the newspaper boys, coming for the paper, he taught dancing a» a
In consequence of the increase of railways and decline of the road, the fashionable academy, to ensnre their delivering the journals at the houses
stage-proprietors intend emigrating to Coach-in China. of the subscribers with becoming grace and deportment.