DOI chapter:
Chapter II: Aims
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.62482#0055
AIMS
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it would be still easier, he had proved to himself, to make
a really large income. Little as these objects had appeared
to him formerly, they seemed to become less and less valu-
able. A sense of great deserving would indeed be a treasure.
When recovering from the first real illness he had after
we became neighbours, he was much fretted at the loss of
working time it had caused. He wrote that it made him
feel more than ever (if that was possible) how absolutely
necessary it was for him to put aside every consideration
excepting work. He did not find himself with any changed
ideas, aspirations, or resolutions. He had discovered that
these were absolutely all fixed, but he had felt he had stood
at death’s door—it had been ajar ; when next he should find
himself there it would be well open, and he must be ready
to go in. This he felt to be with him certain knowledge.
It made no change in his mind, his thoughts, or objects ;
but he felt he must put on more pace in order to satisfy
the burning desire he had to do certain things. In the
Middle Ages, when men felt as he did, not especially at that
moment but for years past, they went into a monastery and
gave themselves up to mortification and forms of discipline.
He did not feel the slightest inclination to such excesses.
In his opinion, though very sincere indications of seeking
after the right, they were childish and even selfish ; but he
did wish to set aside all worldly and ordinary objects, living
for the best he knew of, as if he only saw the outside world,
and the outside world only saw him through a grille.
On one summer evening we were standing on the lawn
close to his sculptor’s studio, after he had finished his day’s
work. He had been labouring on the large sketch of the
equestrian statue which the Duke of Westminster had asked
Watts to execute for him representing the Duke’s ancestor,
Hugh Lupus. At that time Watts, having made the small
11
it would be still easier, he had proved to himself, to make
a really large income. Little as these objects had appeared
to him formerly, they seemed to become less and less valu-
able. A sense of great deserving would indeed be a treasure.
When recovering from the first real illness he had after
we became neighbours, he was much fretted at the loss of
working time it had caused. He wrote that it made him
feel more than ever (if that was possible) how absolutely
necessary it was for him to put aside every consideration
excepting work. He did not find himself with any changed
ideas, aspirations, or resolutions. He had discovered that
these were absolutely all fixed, but he had felt he had stood
at death’s door—it had been ajar ; when next he should find
himself there it would be well open, and he must be ready
to go in. This he felt to be with him certain knowledge.
It made no change in his mind, his thoughts, or objects ;
but he felt he must put on more pace in order to satisfy
the burning desire he had to do certain things. In the
Middle Ages, when men felt as he did, not especially at that
moment but for years past, they went into a monastery and
gave themselves up to mortification and forms of discipline.
He did not feel the slightest inclination to such excesses.
In his opinion, though very sincere indications of seeking
after the right, they were childish and even selfish ; but he
did wish to set aside all worldly and ordinary objects, living
for the best he knew of, as if he only saw the outside world,
and the outside world only saw him through a grille.
On one summer evening we were standing on the lawn
close to his sculptor’s studio, after he had finished his day’s
work. He had been labouring on the large sketch of the
equestrian statue which the Duke of Westminster had asked
Watts to execute for him representing the Duke’s ancestor,
Hugh Lupus. At that time Watts, having made the small