DOI chapter:
Chapter V: Our Friendship
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.62482#0291
OUR FRIENDSHIP
139
nervous irritability was always putting him in the wrong,
while his sense of justice was as surely afflicting him with
the heaviest of penalties, the loss of his own esteem. To
such an extent was this the case that he wearied of the
world, and had long begun to count the years that would
bring the end nearer, with satisfaction. He had long ceased
to hope that he could ever do more in his art than indicate
how much more he desired to do. He then proceeds to
describe every detail of the imbroglio, beginning by say-
ing I had been quite right in warning him against having
any transaction with-d After describing minutely
the transaction in question, he wrote pages and pages
expressing his remorse. He had been most wrong, very
wrong indeed. He could not tell you how this feeling
poisoned his moments.
I need hardly say that this excessive remorse was caused
by Watts having very much exaggerated to himself the
importance of the whole transaction. With certain people
he was not safe. There seemed to be a link wanting in
his instincts. The critic who wrote him the angry letter
was not in fault, and indeed had very just cause, from
his point of view, to be angry with Watts. Any judicious
friend who possessed Watts’ confidence must have found
that in most business transactions he required, so to speak,
to be protected against himself. His want of memory, except
in all that pertained to his art, and the fact that he devoted
all the best of his mind to his art, made him at times
extraordinarily forgetful in ordinary everyday transactions ;
but doubtless the chief difficulties of his life were caused by
1 This warning I had given Watts, not from any unfriendliness or distrust of
the critic in question, but because I felt convinced that he and Watts would not
understand each other, and that a “ fuss ” might arise, and fusses created the
worst possible atmosphere for Watts and for his work.
139
nervous irritability was always putting him in the wrong,
while his sense of justice was as surely afflicting him with
the heaviest of penalties, the loss of his own esteem. To
such an extent was this the case that he wearied of the
world, and had long begun to count the years that would
bring the end nearer, with satisfaction. He had long ceased
to hope that he could ever do more in his art than indicate
how much more he desired to do. He then proceeds to
describe every detail of the imbroglio, beginning by say-
ing I had been quite right in warning him against having
any transaction with-d After describing minutely
the transaction in question, he wrote pages and pages
expressing his remorse. He had been most wrong, very
wrong indeed. He could not tell you how this feeling
poisoned his moments.
I need hardly say that this excessive remorse was caused
by Watts having very much exaggerated to himself the
importance of the whole transaction. With certain people
he was not safe. There seemed to be a link wanting in
his instincts. The critic who wrote him the angry letter
was not in fault, and indeed had very just cause, from
his point of view, to be angry with Watts. Any judicious
friend who possessed Watts’ confidence must have found
that in most business transactions he required, so to speak,
to be protected against himself. His want of memory, except
in all that pertained to his art, and the fact that he devoted
all the best of his mind to his art, made him at times
extraordinarily forgetful in ordinary everyday transactions ;
but doubtless the chief difficulties of his life were caused by
1 This warning I had given Watts, not from any unfriendliness or distrust of
the critic in question, but because I felt convinced that he and Watts would not
understand each other, and that a “ fuss ” might arise, and fusses created the
worst possible atmosphere for Watts and for his work.