DOI Page / Citation link:
https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.32874#0087
CH. xxv] LIFE OF BENVENUTO CELLINI 55
always in the dark, never without thoughts of God and
of this human frailty of ours; and it seemed to me
certain that in a few days I should end there and in
that manner my unfortunate existence. Nevertheless, the
best way that I could I comforted myself by consider-
ing how much greater distress it would have given me
in passing from this life of mine to feel that unspeak-
able torture of the (executioner's) knife; whereas, being
in that condition, I should pass away with a sleeping-
draught which would be much more agreeable to me
than that former means of death; and little by little
I felt myself sinking to such a point that my excel-
lent constitution became used to that purgatory. When
I felt that it (?'.<?. my constitution) was adapted and ac-
customed to it, I took courage to endure that indescrib-
able discomfort as long as it lasted for me. I began
the Bible from the beginning, and read and pondered
over it devoutly, and was so enchanted with it, that if I
had been able, I would never have read anything else;
but when my light failed me, there immediately sprang
upon me all my troubles, and they afforded me so much
suffering, that many times I resolved in some way to
make away with myself; but since they did
not allow me a knife, I had difficulty in the way of
being able to accomplish such a thing. Nevertheless,
upon one occasion amongst the others I had fixed a
great log of wood that was there and propped it up after
the manner of a trapU and I wanted to make it dash
down upon my head; the which would have crushed me
at once, in such fashion, that when I had arranged all
' A or ycAMCCM is a stone or other heavy object balanced
so as to fall and trap birds and other animals.
always in the dark, never without thoughts of God and
of this human frailty of ours; and it seemed to me
certain that in a few days I should end there and in
that manner my unfortunate existence. Nevertheless, the
best way that I could I comforted myself by consider-
ing how much greater distress it would have given me
in passing from this life of mine to feel that unspeak-
able torture of the (executioner's) knife; whereas, being
in that condition, I should pass away with a sleeping-
draught which would be much more agreeable to me
than that former means of death; and little by little
I felt myself sinking to such a point that my excel-
lent constitution became used to that purgatory. When
I felt that it (?'.<?. my constitution) was adapted and ac-
customed to it, I took courage to endure that indescrib-
able discomfort as long as it lasted for me. I began
the Bible from the beginning, and read and pondered
over it devoutly, and was so enchanted with it, that if I
had been able, I would never have read anything else;
but when my light failed me, there immediately sprang
upon me all my troubles, and they afforded me so much
suffering, that many times I resolved in some way to
make away with myself; but since they did
not allow me a knife, I had difficulty in the way of
being able to accomplish such a thing. Nevertheless,
upon one occasion amongst the others I had fixed a
great log of wood that was there and propped it up after
the manner of a trapU and I wanted to make it dash
down upon my head; the which would have crushed me
at once, in such fashion, that when I had arranged all
' A or ycAMCCM is a stone or other heavy object balanced
so as to fall and trap birds and other animals.