Punch: Punch (6.1844)

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 55

THE COMiC BLACKSTONE.

diocese within six months, the archbishop may ; but the bishop has
rally too much archness to give a chance to his superior.

Th; archbishop also takes the first presentation to a living which, ma?
occur in a bishop's diocese, so that a bishop's mouth waters a good deai
before he is suffered to quaff the sweets of patronage. The Archbishop of
Canterbury has also the privilege of putting the crown on the heads of the
he people are divided into the clergy j Kings and Queens of England ; but this seems to be more a hatter's

CHAPTER THE ELEVENTH.-OF THE CLERGV,

and the laity—the former of whom will
be the subject of this chapter ; and a
very lively chapter may be expected in
consequence.

The clergy have several privileges,

business, and we, therefore, do not enter into it.

Bishops h ive authority over the manners of the people ; and we wonder,
therefore, that the Bishop of London does not favour us with a book on
etiquette.

Several alterations have been made, and others contemplated, by the

some of which were taken from them : Ecclesiastical Commissioners appointed by Act of Parliament in the reuj

at the Reformation, in consequence of
their having become impudent from the
great liberties allowed to them. Many
of the personal exemptions still continue.
For instance, no one can be compelled
to sit upon a jury, after he has taken
orders—though, senile that the persous at the free-list office in the
theatres, notwithstanding their having taken orders, are liable to serve
as jurymen. A clergyman cannot be chosen to any temporal office,
such as bailiff or constable—so that a curate cannot be a bailiff at a
lock-up house—nor could a rector act as a policeman in a street riot

of William IV., to unite certain sees, by cutting through the barrier
isthmus that divided them.

We now come to deans and chapters, which would form a chapter of
themselves, only there is no occasion for it. A dean and chapter are a
sort of council to advise the bishop, who, however, seldom asks their
advice ; or, if he asks it, scarcely ever takes it. A dean formerly super-
intended ten canons, but this must have been in the days when the Church
was disposed to be militant. The bishop is the superior of the dean aiid
chapter, with the power of visiting them and " correcting their excesses ; "
which surely cannot mean, administering soda-water, after they have
been rather convivial \

A clergyman is also privileged from arrest, in going to, and returning ' An archdeacon comes the next to a bishop, and visits the clergy—
from the performance of duty, or, as the Norman Jurist expresses it, leaving his card formally with some, and dropping in to tea, in a friendly
"il ne faut pas commettre un tel faux pas de nabber il parsone, et lui '. manner, no doubt, with others.

porter hors de la pulpite jusqu'a maison de fermer au cle." (Oue,| Rural deans, in these anti-rural days, are nearly out of use. They had
must not commit such a false step, as to nab the parson, and carry h m nothiug to do but pry into the domestic affairs of the parochial clergy,
out of the pulpit to the lock-up house). Formerly, a clergyman had what i They were called rural', very likely,from their love of country occupations,
is called the benefit of clergy in cases of felony—a privilege, which if a such as fishing for preferment, and making hay during sunshine,
layman had asked for, he would have been told, that the authorities We now come to the parson, a name derived from the word personu,

a person ; because the parson is a person ; that is to say, he is in the
parish decidedly " somebody." He is sometimes called the rector or
ruler, but why, we cannot tell ; for there is no rule to account for it.

Formerly, the monasteries appropriated to themselves the valuable part
of a living, and contracted with some curate to do the work ; the monas-
teries acting then, much as the " sweaters" do now, making a very good
profit upon a task which they gave a beggarly sum to another party to
execute. Henry VIII., however, determined to sweat the monastic
sweaters ; for, at the dissolution of monasteries, he swept away the insti-

would •' see him hanged first." The last remnant of benefit of clergy,
was the benefit allowed every May-day to the sweeps—who were vulgarly
called the clergy, but this has been almost swept away by the Ramoneur
—a very upright invention, which, disdaining to force itself into holes and
corners, leaves the soot to ignite in the crevices of the chimneys.

The clergymen have, however, several disabilities ; for instance, they
cannot sit in Parliament, but L< that's not so much," as Othello—(one of
Nature's clergymen) very properly observed—for there are many occa-
sions, such as a financial discussion, when exclusion from the House of
Commons must be regarded as a privilege, rather than a disability.
Formerly, a clergyman was not allowed to trade, but was restricted to ,

the cure of souls. It does not seem, however, that even in the days of /ji-^L,
doubtful orthography—for our ancestors never could spell—a parson
might have occupied himself in the drying of fish, which is certainly in
one sense undertaking the cure of soles—for we do not find that Shake-
speare's beautiful line in Hamlet, " Excellent well, you're a fishmonger," I
was ever applied to any reverend contemporary of the Swan of Avon.

It having been determined that a contract with any company, of which
any spiritual persons were partners or members, was void,—and this
having been decided to be the law,—another law was passed in the reign of
her present Majesty to decide that it was not, or, if it was, it never ought
to be. It might be a hint worthy of adoption by the repudiating States of
America ; for as there are, no doubt, spiritual persons among them, they
may as well shuffle out of their liabilities, by reference to the fine old
principles of English law, and thus give a sacred character to one of the
sublimest swindles ever attempted in any age or country. By the new
a<-t, parsons may trade in joint-stock companies, their evanescence giving
them, no doubt, a sort of ethereal character. The clergy may also trade
in hooks, or in anything connected with keeping a school^ which admits of
their adding to their income by selling ink and various other scholastic
commodities.

We shall now consider the various ranks and degrees of the clergy, com-
mencing with an archbishop, who is the greatest gun in the Church, according
to all the canons. Archbishops were formerly elected by all the people ;
but the tumultuous scenes that arose were a great scandal; and indeed we
cannot fancy his Grace of Canterbury placarding the town with posters,
calling upon the public to " vote for Howley," or defacing the walls of the
ep'-copal palace with the words, " Howley for Canterbury."

Archbishoprics afterwards came to be conferred by the sovereigns till
Gregory VII. exhibited a bull, declaring that princes should not meddle
in the manufacture of prelates. Henry VIII., however, put an end to
the Pope's pretensions, by giving the power of electing an archbishop or
a Lishop to the bishops themselves ; that is to say, when his Majestv
has made his own choice, he gives the prelates the power of confirming
to it—or, in other words, rams a bishop down their throats, thus forcing
them to swallow him.

A u archbishop is a sort of inspector of all the bishops in his province ;
but he does not call them out like an inspector would so many policemen,
to examine their mitres, and see that their lawn sleeves are properly
starched, before going on duty in their respective dioceses. An arch-
bishop may call out the bishops, just as a militia colonel may call out the mi-
litia ; and it is his duty to look after the spiritualities of a vacant see, while
the Crown takes care of the temporalities, which are the only remunerating
part of the business. If a bishop does not fill up a vacant living in his

tutions, and pocketed the good things that belonged to them. The Crown
having afterwards granted these things out to laymen, gave rise to what
are called lay-appropriations, hands having been laid upon them by those
who were most inappropriately possessed of them.

These appropriators used to get the duty done very cheap by a vicar ;
and there being much competition among the clergy, vicar's work was
done on such very low terms, that there was an alarming sacrifice of the
interests of the parishioners. This led to an act being passed to protect