DOI Heft:
January to June, 1844
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16519#0066
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. t>9
CANDID CONSTRUCTION.
The Times of Thursday, Jan. 25, contains the following advertisement:
" Church Preferment.—To be Sold, the next Presentation to two several very
desirable Livings, viz:—To a Rectory, situate in the county of S--, within a few miles
of several good market towns, and at a convenient distance from a railway station. There
is a good Parsonage-house, and about sixty acres of glebe. The tithes have been com-
muted ; and the income, exclusive of the glebe and surplice fees, is about 1,0501. per
annum! The incumbent is in his 59th year. To another Rectory, &c."
What a pity it is that advertisements are so expensive ! The above is
open to misconstruction nearly from beginning to end. Almost every
clause of it, therefore, requires a commentary; but then its insertion
would have been frightfully chargeable.
The first sentence informs us, that the next presentation to two very
desirable livings is to be sold.
The announcement may, to the unthinking, seem to savour of simony.
No such thing ! Simony is the sale of Church preferment ; the sale
here advertised is merely the sale of Church preferment contingent upon
the death of its present holders : which is quite a different matter. The
livings, it will have been observed, are represented as being very desirable.
Let it not be supposed that, by "very desirable" is meant " very lucra-
tive," or "very snug," because we know that a loftier gain than lucre is
the object of a clergyman, and that his business is to labour for the
spiritual welfare of his flock ; and not to make himself snug.
The statement, that the Rectory in the county of S——- lies near
"several good market towns, and at a convenient distance from a railway
station," is no hint that luxuries are easily accessible, and the pleasures of
the. metropolis at speedy command. No ; it simply means, that there are
places at hand where food,'clothing, and good books may be bought, in
charity, for the poor ; and where conferences on religious subjects and
for benevolent purposes, may be had, on market days, with the neighbour-
ing gentry and farmers. Also, that there are facilities for getting up
quickly to London, to attend missionary and philanthropic meetings, and
transact clerical business when necessarv.
The fact, that there is a good parsonage house, is mentioned to show
the opportunity which exists for the practice of hospitality ; and the
" sixty acres of glebe," are adverted to, no doubt, with a view to the capa-
bilities which they afford for the employment of the necessitous, and the
promotion of agricultural industry.
The amount of the income is stated to indicate the surplus, which,
after subtraction of the amount required to live upon, will remain to be
expended in doing good.
The age of the incumbent is specified, in order to excite the hope that,
though he is now fifty-nine, and will very soon be sixty, yet, notwithstand-
ing, he may live till seventy or eighty, or longer, in the enjoyment of his
present means of conferring happiness on those around him.
What has been said in explanation of the announcements respecting the
first Rectory is applicable, also, to those concerning the second. In
addition, therefore, Punch will only say, that he hopes, if for a moment
he has forgotten the humourist in the commentator, that he will be par-
doned on the score of his good intentions.
Interesting: to Irish Law Officers.
T.n allusion to a recent challenge, the Dublin Authorities have been
recommended to write over the Hall of the Four Courts " No Runmsir
shot qeor."
FASHIONS FOR FEBRUARY.',
tie sloppy weather has compelled boots
to give way in some places, and also
stockings, which are let out here and
there, but particularly about the ball
of the loot, where a slash in the ehaus-
sure releases the bas from its confined
position. The golosh is a favourite
both with ladies and gentlemen, but
some are worn so dcyaye, that one
golosh is apt to twist round the
ankle, or come quite off; but it is
only those who go a very great way
in the article of goloshes, that adopt
the style alluded to. In very wet
weather, we have seen a tasteful
article made of brown paper dipped
in oil and cut en cape, which is a
cheap substitute for a regular Mac-
intosh. It admits of a good deal of
wear and tear, for directly you wear
it, the cape begins to tear all to pieces.
SONNET
to
THE MEMORY OF A KITCHEN MAID!
by the countess of —-.
INTENDED FOR THE "METROPOLITAN."
Yes, to her Memory !—for she has been,
And is not ! And her spirit form alone—
As sleeps the shade of the sepulchral stone
Upon her grave—is resting on the green
Oasis spots of Memory : for good
She was and fair, and to her lowly " place"
Imparted many a " strange and foreign grace."
Her soul was bright; it was not " understood "
By those she lighted—like a precious gem
'Mid many false ones. And, like one real flower
'Mid artificial ones, her fading hour
Show'd that she was not made as one of them.
She was more formed to strike the lute and lyre.
Than rinse a saucepan or make up a fire !
DEBUT OF HER MAJESTY'S STATE COACHMAN.
An immense assemblage of persons had collected on the day of the
opening of Parliament, in order to witness the first appearance <>f
Mr. Baker in the arduous part of State Coachman to Her Majesty. In
the earlier scenes he evinced considerable nervousness, and the leaving,
the stable yard was greatly marred by a tremnlousness of the nose and
eye-brow, bespeaking an agitation in the debutant which it was really
painful to look upon. A slight shout of " Go it, Bob," from the head
ostler, seemed to revive Mr. Baker, who gathered up the reins and:
cracked the whip with an air of confidence that gave every hope of his
debut being successful. The grand point of the performance, indeed the
touchstone of the powers of the artist, was the drawing up at the door of
the House of Lords, and here Mr. Baker's effective pantomime came very
freely into play, for the splendid manner in which he contrived to keep
up a protracted squint, so as to have one eye on the eoach-door to see
when her Majesty had alighted, and the other on his horses, elicited
shouts of enthusiasm from the numerous individuals assembled to witness
it. On the whole, the debut must be regarded as perfectly successful.
Mr. Baker's style wants the delicacy of Wimbush, and is without the
dash or buoyancy of the Blackwall School ; but, as a piece of tasteful and
quiet coachmanship, it may l-ank with some of the highest efforts of our
very ablest drivers.
The Martyr Gibbs.
A few of the Aldermen, in order to mark their sense of the " shameful
misrepresentations" of which poor Alderman Gibbs has been made the
victim, intend to erect a statue to the great accountant. lie will be
represented in the abstract character of Magnanimity " smiling at" Arith-
metic. Thus, the Alderman having been wickedly abused by the vile
press, will at length be " cut " by his best friends.
Vol. 0.
3
CANDID CONSTRUCTION.
The Times of Thursday, Jan. 25, contains the following advertisement:
" Church Preferment.—To be Sold, the next Presentation to two several very
desirable Livings, viz:—To a Rectory, situate in the county of S--, within a few miles
of several good market towns, and at a convenient distance from a railway station. There
is a good Parsonage-house, and about sixty acres of glebe. The tithes have been com-
muted ; and the income, exclusive of the glebe and surplice fees, is about 1,0501. per
annum! The incumbent is in his 59th year. To another Rectory, &c."
What a pity it is that advertisements are so expensive ! The above is
open to misconstruction nearly from beginning to end. Almost every
clause of it, therefore, requires a commentary; but then its insertion
would have been frightfully chargeable.
The first sentence informs us, that the next presentation to two very
desirable livings is to be sold.
The announcement may, to the unthinking, seem to savour of simony.
No such thing ! Simony is the sale of Church preferment ; the sale
here advertised is merely the sale of Church preferment contingent upon
the death of its present holders : which is quite a different matter. The
livings, it will have been observed, are represented as being very desirable.
Let it not be supposed that, by "very desirable" is meant " very lucra-
tive," or "very snug," because we know that a loftier gain than lucre is
the object of a clergyman, and that his business is to labour for the
spiritual welfare of his flock ; and not to make himself snug.
The statement, that the Rectory in the county of S——- lies near
"several good market towns, and at a convenient distance from a railway
station," is no hint that luxuries are easily accessible, and the pleasures of
the. metropolis at speedy command. No ; it simply means, that there are
places at hand where food,'clothing, and good books may be bought, in
charity, for the poor ; and where conferences on religious subjects and
for benevolent purposes, may be had, on market days, with the neighbour-
ing gentry and farmers. Also, that there are facilities for getting up
quickly to London, to attend missionary and philanthropic meetings, and
transact clerical business when necessarv.
The fact, that there is a good parsonage house, is mentioned to show
the opportunity which exists for the practice of hospitality ; and the
" sixty acres of glebe," are adverted to, no doubt, with a view to the capa-
bilities which they afford for the employment of the necessitous, and the
promotion of agricultural industry.
The amount of the income is stated to indicate the surplus, which,
after subtraction of the amount required to live upon, will remain to be
expended in doing good.
The age of the incumbent is specified, in order to excite the hope that,
though he is now fifty-nine, and will very soon be sixty, yet, notwithstand-
ing, he may live till seventy or eighty, or longer, in the enjoyment of his
present means of conferring happiness on those around him.
What has been said in explanation of the announcements respecting the
first Rectory is applicable, also, to those concerning the second. In
addition, therefore, Punch will only say, that he hopes, if for a moment
he has forgotten the humourist in the commentator, that he will be par-
doned on the score of his good intentions.
Interesting: to Irish Law Officers.
T.n allusion to a recent challenge, the Dublin Authorities have been
recommended to write over the Hall of the Four Courts " No Runmsir
shot qeor."
FASHIONS FOR FEBRUARY.',
tie sloppy weather has compelled boots
to give way in some places, and also
stockings, which are let out here and
there, but particularly about the ball
of the loot, where a slash in the ehaus-
sure releases the bas from its confined
position. The golosh is a favourite
both with ladies and gentlemen, but
some are worn so dcyaye, that one
golosh is apt to twist round the
ankle, or come quite off; but it is
only those who go a very great way
in the article of goloshes, that adopt
the style alluded to. In very wet
weather, we have seen a tasteful
article made of brown paper dipped
in oil and cut en cape, which is a
cheap substitute for a regular Mac-
intosh. It admits of a good deal of
wear and tear, for directly you wear
it, the cape begins to tear all to pieces.
SONNET
to
THE MEMORY OF A KITCHEN MAID!
by the countess of —-.
INTENDED FOR THE "METROPOLITAN."
Yes, to her Memory !—for she has been,
And is not ! And her spirit form alone—
As sleeps the shade of the sepulchral stone
Upon her grave—is resting on the green
Oasis spots of Memory : for good
She was and fair, and to her lowly " place"
Imparted many a " strange and foreign grace."
Her soul was bright; it was not " understood "
By those she lighted—like a precious gem
'Mid many false ones. And, like one real flower
'Mid artificial ones, her fading hour
Show'd that she was not made as one of them.
She was more formed to strike the lute and lyre.
Than rinse a saucepan or make up a fire !
DEBUT OF HER MAJESTY'S STATE COACHMAN.
An immense assemblage of persons had collected on the day of the
opening of Parliament, in order to witness the first appearance <>f
Mr. Baker in the arduous part of State Coachman to Her Majesty. In
the earlier scenes he evinced considerable nervousness, and the leaving,
the stable yard was greatly marred by a tremnlousness of the nose and
eye-brow, bespeaking an agitation in the debutant which it was really
painful to look upon. A slight shout of " Go it, Bob," from the head
ostler, seemed to revive Mr. Baker, who gathered up the reins and:
cracked the whip with an air of confidence that gave every hope of his
debut being successful. The grand point of the performance, indeed the
touchstone of the powers of the artist, was the drawing up at the door of
the House of Lords, and here Mr. Baker's effective pantomime came very
freely into play, for the splendid manner in which he contrived to keep
up a protracted squint, so as to have one eye on the eoach-door to see
when her Majesty had alighted, and the other on his horses, elicited
shouts of enthusiasm from the numerous individuals assembled to witness
it. On the whole, the debut must be regarded as perfectly successful.
Mr. Baker's style wants the delicacy of Wimbush, and is without the
dash or buoyancy of the Blackwall School ; but, as a piece of tasteful and
quiet coachmanship, it may l-ank with some of the highest efforts of our
very ablest drivers.
The Martyr Gibbs.
A few of the Aldermen, in order to mark their sense of the " shameful
misrepresentations" of which poor Alderman Gibbs has been made the
victim, intend to erect a statue to the great accountant. lie will be
represented in the abstract character of Magnanimity " smiling at" Arith-
metic. Thus, the Alderman having been wickedly abused by the vile
press, will at length be " cut " by his best friends.
Vol. 0.
3