DOI Heft:
January to June, 1844
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16519#0083
LORD LYNDHURST'S CHARGE TO THE PYX JURY.
their Birth and Station ; and to those of the Public in general, who are
anxious for an Aristocratic Profile, this snuff will be found inestimable.
In tin packages, at 5s. and 2s. 6d. each.
Punc/t's Metakuphoseon, or Transform atory Eye Water.—This
Itrom onr own Reporter.j | w0nderfux discovery, for changing Eyes of an indifferent colour to
A Committee of the Goldsmiths' Company, appointed to try the coinage,
assembled at the Privy Council Chamber, when the Lord Chancellor
addressed them nearly as follows :—
" Gentlemen,—You are assembled here to-day to try the value of the
coinage ; and, as the coal merchant is said to have remarked that 4 Coals
is coals,' it will be for you to say if money is really money.
" Gentlemen, there is no pleasure in life without some alloy, and money,
which is one of the greatest of earthly delights, has also its alloy ; but
you will have to take care there is not too much of it. Formerly, every
gold watch weighed so many carats, from which it became usual to call a
♦ilver watch a turnip ; but this will not, at present, form a branch of
your inquiry. Troy weight, gentlemen, is derived from the heavy respon-
sibility the Trojans were under to their creditors. The Romans were in
■the habit of tossing up their coins in the presence of the legions, and if a
Blue, Hazel, or Black, is the result of a long series of Experiments
and Researches in Ophthalmology. It is a fluid of limpid appearance, and
not distinguishable by the senses from Pump Water ; but, by the aid of
Homoeopathic Chemistry, it has been infinitesimally imbued with a pecu-
liar substance, endowed with the astonishing power of so acting on the
Iris as entirely to change its colour. According to the number and mode
of the applications, it converts the natural tint of the Eye to Blue,
Hazel, or Jet Black ; and is warranted to extirpate the smallest con-
ceivable portion of Green in the Eye. It likewise imparts to the
Apparatus of Vision a peculiar Brilliancy and Lustre, on which account
it will be of the greatest service to the Lover ; and no one about to enter
on a career of courtship ought to be without a bottle of it. It so far
improves the dullest sight as entirely to supersede Spectacles, and cor-
rects the most confirmed squint, thus rendering the painful operation for
■piece of money went higher than the tip of the ensign's flag, it was pro- j Strabismus unnecessary. In bottles at 10s. 6d. and 5s. each ; or 21. 2s.
flounced to be above the standard. You, gentlemen, will not be required j for a case containing five bottles.
to do this. It will be sufficient if you ring the money on the mahogany Punch's Figure" Pills.—These extraordinary Pills, by an occult
•dming-table that you will find prepared for you. | operation on the formative principle of the Human Body, effect an ame-
"The early Italians used cattle instead of coin, and a person would some
times send for change for a thousand pound bullock, when he would
-receive twenty fifty-pound sheep, or perhaps, if he wanted very small
change, there would be a few lambs amongst them. The inconvenience
•of keeping a flock of sheep at one's banker's, or paying in a short-
ihorned heifer to one's private account, led to the introduction of bullion.
To return, however, gentlemen, to the duty that will devolve upon
lioration of the figure, remedying emaciation, reducing corpulence, and
exalting Deformity itself into the Perfection of the Ideal Marble,
whereby all Stays, Bandages, Screws, and other Mechanical Contrivances,
so prejudicial to Health and Longevity, may be dispensed with. They
effectually remove all kinds of Spinal Curvatures, Bow Legs, and
other Distortions of the Frame, and enable the unhappy possessor of
unshapely extremities to realise a delicately-formed hand, taper fingers,
yourselves. You will be called upon to examine into the unhealthy custom j and small feet. They likewise eradicate all"Warts, Corns, Bunions. Wens,
of sweating sovereigns ; and, with regard to this point, will do well to and other excrescences ; and one month's persevering recourse to them
a-ecollect that Charles the First was, perhaps, the earliest sovereign who will clothe the most haggard pauper with the proportions of an Antinous,
■was sweated to such an extent that his immediate successor, Charles the 0r transform the most unwieldy Alderman into a Belvidere Apollo. A
Second, became one of the lightest sovereigns ever known in this country, single trial will prove the fact. Their ingredients being entirely vegetable,
" With these remarks, gentlemen, I leave you to the discharge of your their composition is perfectly innoxious. In Boxes at 3s. and ls."6rf. per
important duties. There are weights and scales in the next room ; and Box.
while British honesty holds the beam, I am sure that British wealth can , Punch's Moral and Intellectual Elixir__The influence of the
•never suffer ; for it is the boast of our blessed nation, that the merchant j Body (through the Medium of the Nervous System) on the Mind, is well
may hold his head as high as the noble—(aside) if his washerwoman has known. Punch's Moral and Intellectual Elixir is an unfailing
put sufficient starch in his shirt-collar." The learned lord's speech was remedy for all Mental Maladies from Insanity and Fatuity to Mania";
•so much applauded when he arrived at the beautiful little figure of the also for all obliquities and vitiations of the Feelings, and faults and de-
anerchant and the noble, that the concluding words, spoken aside, were fects of the Understanding. It is a certain cure for Ignorance and
not audible. Stupidity, and completely controls and subdues all tendency to Theft,
The foreman of the Pyx jury, in the enthusiasm of the moment, asked Larceny, Swindling, Murder, and Suicide ; as well as all Pride, Envy,
4he whole of the Privy Council to a banquet, to be given the same evening Hatred, Malice, Gloom, and Discontent ; producing an amiable disposi-
in the Hall of the Goldsmiths' Company.
The Lord Chancellor, in the name of the Privy Council, observed, that
tthey were all indisposed, and all their medical attendants had said, that
by all means they must all keep quiet, and therefore could not accept the
Pyx jury's polite invitation. The jury then amused themselves by tossing
tion to look at the bright side of everything. Whims, Crotchets, and
Prejudices, including the various Idols enumerated by Lord Bacon, are
extirpated by a few doses. To Attorneys, Bill Discounters, and others,
desirous of living honestly, it may be safely recommended ; also to Meta-
physicians, Philosophers, and all Persons engaged in the investigation of
cip, weighing, breathing upon, biting, and otherwise experimentalising i Truth. Statesmen wishing to become true Patriots, will find their account
■with the coin of the realm, which they declared to be honest and saFi»- in taking the Medicine. Sold in Pint Bottles, at 12s. the bottle. Will
factory. keep in any climate, and may be safely exported to America.
The above Medicine to be had only at the Office (194, Strand), of Mr.
PUNCH'S PATENT MEDICINES.
Punch, (Publisher of the Almanack.) All are contained in envelopes,
signed, Punch, and countersigned, Boy' Dick. None others are genuine.
unch respectfully begs to offer the following Patent
Medicines for the patronage of the British Public :—■
Punch's Kalopoietic Sternutatory, or Beauti-
fying Snuff.—There is, perhaps, no feature of the
" human face divine" of more importance as an
element in personal beauty than the Nose. It has long
been observed that the Snuffs in common use exert a
most prejudicial influence on this organ ; producing
an unseemly dilatation of the nostrils, and not unfre-
quently an alteration of hue. The Kalopoietic
Sternutatory, so far from being chargeable with
these disadvantages, possesses the remarkable pro-
pertv of changing the Shape and Colour of the Nose Heraldry,
for the better, converting, after a few weeks' employ-' A general error seems to prevail, that the Dukedom of Jenkins is
ment, the most decided Snub into the most perfect I entirely a modern creation. This we have authority from the College of
Aquiline; and effectually removing all Warts, Pimples, Arms to contradict; the illustrious individual who now enjoys the titlp
1 having incontestablv established his right to a dormant peerage. For
those curious in heraldry we may add, that his genealogical tree is
discovered by the Kings of Arms to"have been the " Boot-tree."
Shocking- Loss of Property.
The Pennsylcanian Inquirer of the 15th ult. gives a terrible account of
the wreck of the Shepherdess steamer. It pathetically says, " One man
lost 3,000 dollars in money, and another thirty negroes ! " We trust that
the latter calamity will touch the benevolent bosoms of the Americans,
and that no time will be lost in subscribing for the poor man at least
thirty blacks. It is bad enough to lose mere dollars, but to see one's
black human flesh go to the bottom of a river, would wring tears from j.
heart of rock.
Tuberosities, and Bristles from its extremity
To those suffering from the- effects of ardent spirits on this feature, the
Beautifying Snuff is confidently recommended : one Box will remove
•the most inveterate alcoholic efflorescences. This Cosmetic Mixture
will prove a real blessing to the fair sex in dispelling that nasal erubes-
•cence which is one of the greatest miseries of winter, and which One
Pinch will infallibly transfer to the cheek in ten minutes. It may be taken
to excess without the slightest injury to the voice. In colour it is of a beau-
tiful French White, and exhales a most delicious Fragrance. Its effects
•on the Nervous System are most beneficial ; it producing a gentle but
permanent Exhilaration of Spirits, and a lively and facetious Flow of
ideas. To such of the Nobility as may wish to possess a Nose worthy of
The Aloe of the Morning: Press.
The Morning Advertiser, in commemoration of its fiftieth anniversa
gave a double sheet on Friday last.
Printed by William Bradbury, of No. 6, York Place, Stoke .Ne-.v-.nirton, and Frederick Muilett Evjmm.
of No 7, Church How Stoke Newington, both in the t.ounry ot Middlesex, Printers, at their
Office in Lombard Stive.t, In the Precinct of Whitetriars, in the City r.t London, and published hj
Joseph Smith, of No 5;j. St. John's Wood Terrace, Reirant'j Park, in the Parish of Marylebone. i«
the County of Middlesex, at the Ofr.ce, No 194, Strand, in :he Parish of St. Clement Dinet, m -im
County of Middlesex.—SiroioAr, Fmhoari 17, l»u-
their Birth and Station ; and to those of the Public in general, who are
anxious for an Aristocratic Profile, this snuff will be found inestimable.
In tin packages, at 5s. and 2s. 6d. each.
Punc/t's Metakuphoseon, or Transform atory Eye Water.—This
Itrom onr own Reporter.j | w0nderfux discovery, for changing Eyes of an indifferent colour to
A Committee of the Goldsmiths' Company, appointed to try the coinage,
assembled at the Privy Council Chamber, when the Lord Chancellor
addressed them nearly as follows :—
" Gentlemen,—You are assembled here to-day to try the value of the
coinage ; and, as the coal merchant is said to have remarked that 4 Coals
is coals,' it will be for you to say if money is really money.
" Gentlemen, there is no pleasure in life without some alloy, and money,
which is one of the greatest of earthly delights, has also its alloy ; but
you will have to take care there is not too much of it. Formerly, every
gold watch weighed so many carats, from which it became usual to call a
♦ilver watch a turnip ; but this will not, at present, form a branch of
your inquiry. Troy weight, gentlemen, is derived from the heavy respon-
sibility the Trojans were under to their creditors. The Romans were in
■the habit of tossing up their coins in the presence of the legions, and if a
Blue, Hazel, or Black, is the result of a long series of Experiments
and Researches in Ophthalmology. It is a fluid of limpid appearance, and
not distinguishable by the senses from Pump Water ; but, by the aid of
Homoeopathic Chemistry, it has been infinitesimally imbued with a pecu-
liar substance, endowed with the astonishing power of so acting on the
Iris as entirely to change its colour. According to the number and mode
of the applications, it converts the natural tint of the Eye to Blue,
Hazel, or Jet Black ; and is warranted to extirpate the smallest con-
ceivable portion of Green in the Eye. It likewise imparts to the
Apparatus of Vision a peculiar Brilliancy and Lustre, on which account
it will be of the greatest service to the Lover ; and no one about to enter
on a career of courtship ought to be without a bottle of it. It so far
improves the dullest sight as entirely to supersede Spectacles, and cor-
rects the most confirmed squint, thus rendering the painful operation for
■piece of money went higher than the tip of the ensign's flag, it was pro- j Strabismus unnecessary. In bottles at 10s. 6d. and 5s. each ; or 21. 2s.
flounced to be above the standard. You, gentlemen, will not be required j for a case containing five bottles.
to do this. It will be sufficient if you ring the money on the mahogany Punch's Figure" Pills.—These extraordinary Pills, by an occult
•dming-table that you will find prepared for you. | operation on the formative principle of the Human Body, effect an ame-
"The early Italians used cattle instead of coin, and a person would some
times send for change for a thousand pound bullock, when he would
-receive twenty fifty-pound sheep, or perhaps, if he wanted very small
change, there would be a few lambs amongst them. The inconvenience
•of keeping a flock of sheep at one's banker's, or paying in a short-
ihorned heifer to one's private account, led to the introduction of bullion.
To return, however, gentlemen, to the duty that will devolve upon
lioration of the figure, remedying emaciation, reducing corpulence, and
exalting Deformity itself into the Perfection of the Ideal Marble,
whereby all Stays, Bandages, Screws, and other Mechanical Contrivances,
so prejudicial to Health and Longevity, may be dispensed with. They
effectually remove all kinds of Spinal Curvatures, Bow Legs, and
other Distortions of the Frame, and enable the unhappy possessor of
unshapely extremities to realise a delicately-formed hand, taper fingers,
yourselves. You will be called upon to examine into the unhealthy custom j and small feet. They likewise eradicate all"Warts, Corns, Bunions. Wens,
of sweating sovereigns ; and, with regard to this point, will do well to and other excrescences ; and one month's persevering recourse to them
a-ecollect that Charles the First was, perhaps, the earliest sovereign who will clothe the most haggard pauper with the proportions of an Antinous,
■was sweated to such an extent that his immediate successor, Charles the 0r transform the most unwieldy Alderman into a Belvidere Apollo. A
Second, became one of the lightest sovereigns ever known in this country, single trial will prove the fact. Their ingredients being entirely vegetable,
" With these remarks, gentlemen, I leave you to the discharge of your their composition is perfectly innoxious. In Boxes at 3s. and ls."6rf. per
important duties. There are weights and scales in the next room ; and Box.
while British honesty holds the beam, I am sure that British wealth can , Punch's Moral and Intellectual Elixir__The influence of the
•never suffer ; for it is the boast of our blessed nation, that the merchant j Body (through the Medium of the Nervous System) on the Mind, is well
may hold his head as high as the noble—(aside) if his washerwoman has known. Punch's Moral and Intellectual Elixir is an unfailing
put sufficient starch in his shirt-collar." The learned lord's speech was remedy for all Mental Maladies from Insanity and Fatuity to Mania";
•so much applauded when he arrived at the beautiful little figure of the also for all obliquities and vitiations of the Feelings, and faults and de-
anerchant and the noble, that the concluding words, spoken aside, were fects of the Understanding. It is a certain cure for Ignorance and
not audible. Stupidity, and completely controls and subdues all tendency to Theft,
The foreman of the Pyx jury, in the enthusiasm of the moment, asked Larceny, Swindling, Murder, and Suicide ; as well as all Pride, Envy,
4he whole of the Privy Council to a banquet, to be given the same evening Hatred, Malice, Gloom, and Discontent ; producing an amiable disposi-
in the Hall of the Goldsmiths' Company.
The Lord Chancellor, in the name of the Privy Council, observed, that
tthey were all indisposed, and all their medical attendants had said, that
by all means they must all keep quiet, and therefore could not accept the
Pyx jury's polite invitation. The jury then amused themselves by tossing
tion to look at the bright side of everything. Whims, Crotchets, and
Prejudices, including the various Idols enumerated by Lord Bacon, are
extirpated by a few doses. To Attorneys, Bill Discounters, and others,
desirous of living honestly, it may be safely recommended ; also to Meta-
physicians, Philosophers, and all Persons engaged in the investigation of
cip, weighing, breathing upon, biting, and otherwise experimentalising i Truth. Statesmen wishing to become true Patriots, will find their account
■with the coin of the realm, which they declared to be honest and saFi»- in taking the Medicine. Sold in Pint Bottles, at 12s. the bottle. Will
factory. keep in any climate, and may be safely exported to America.
The above Medicine to be had only at the Office (194, Strand), of Mr.
PUNCH'S PATENT MEDICINES.
Punch, (Publisher of the Almanack.) All are contained in envelopes,
signed, Punch, and countersigned, Boy' Dick. None others are genuine.
unch respectfully begs to offer the following Patent
Medicines for the patronage of the British Public :—■
Punch's Kalopoietic Sternutatory, or Beauti-
fying Snuff.—There is, perhaps, no feature of the
" human face divine" of more importance as an
element in personal beauty than the Nose. It has long
been observed that the Snuffs in common use exert a
most prejudicial influence on this organ ; producing
an unseemly dilatation of the nostrils, and not unfre-
quently an alteration of hue. The Kalopoietic
Sternutatory, so far from being chargeable with
these disadvantages, possesses the remarkable pro-
pertv of changing the Shape and Colour of the Nose Heraldry,
for the better, converting, after a few weeks' employ-' A general error seems to prevail, that the Dukedom of Jenkins is
ment, the most decided Snub into the most perfect I entirely a modern creation. This we have authority from the College of
Aquiline; and effectually removing all Warts, Pimples, Arms to contradict; the illustrious individual who now enjoys the titlp
1 having incontestablv established his right to a dormant peerage. For
those curious in heraldry we may add, that his genealogical tree is
discovered by the Kings of Arms to"have been the " Boot-tree."
Shocking- Loss of Property.
The Pennsylcanian Inquirer of the 15th ult. gives a terrible account of
the wreck of the Shepherdess steamer. It pathetically says, " One man
lost 3,000 dollars in money, and another thirty negroes ! " We trust that
the latter calamity will touch the benevolent bosoms of the Americans,
and that no time will be lost in subscribing for the poor man at least
thirty blacks. It is bad enough to lose mere dollars, but to see one's
black human flesh go to the bottom of a river, would wring tears from j.
heart of rock.
Tuberosities, and Bristles from its extremity
To those suffering from the- effects of ardent spirits on this feature, the
Beautifying Snuff is confidently recommended : one Box will remove
•the most inveterate alcoholic efflorescences. This Cosmetic Mixture
will prove a real blessing to the fair sex in dispelling that nasal erubes-
•cence which is one of the greatest miseries of winter, and which One
Pinch will infallibly transfer to the cheek in ten minutes. It may be taken
to excess without the slightest injury to the voice. In colour it is of a beau-
tiful French White, and exhales a most delicious Fragrance. Its effects
•on the Nervous System are most beneficial ; it producing a gentle but
permanent Exhilaration of Spirits, and a lively and facetious Flow of
ideas. To such of the Nobility as may wish to possess a Nose worthy of
The Aloe of the Morning: Press.
The Morning Advertiser, in commemoration of its fiftieth anniversa
gave a double sheet on Friday last.
Printed by William Bradbury, of No. 6, York Place, Stoke .Ne-.v-.nirton, and Frederick Muilett Evjmm.
of No 7, Church How Stoke Newington, both in the t.ounry ot Middlesex, Printers, at their
Office in Lombard Stive.t, In the Precinct of Whitetriars, in the City r.t London, and published hj
Joseph Smith, of No 5;j. St. John's Wood Terrace, Reirant'j Park, in the Parish of Marylebone. i«
the County of Middlesex, at the Ofr.ce, No 194, Strand, in :he Parish of St. Clement Dinet, m -im
County of Middlesex.—SiroioAr, Fmhoari 17, l»u-