Punch: Punch (6.1844)

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARf. »7

THE COMIC BLACKSTONE.

CHAPTER THE FIFTEENTH.-OF HUSBAND AND WIFE.

e now come to treat of Husband
and Wife, and shall inquire, first,
how marriages may be made,
which will be interesting to
lovers ; secondly, how marriages
may be dissolved, which will be
interesting to unhappy couples;
and lastly, what are the legal
effects of marriage, which will be
interesting to those who have
extravagant wives, for whose
debts the husbands are liable.
To make a marriage three
things are required :—first, that the parties will marry ; secondly, that
they can ; and thirdly, that they do ; though to us it seems that if they
do, it matters little whether they will, and that if they will, it is of little
consequence whether they can ; for if they do, they do ; and if they will,
they must; because where there is a will there is a way, and therefore they
can if they choose ; and if they don't, it is because they won't, which brings
us to the conclusion, that if they do, it is absurd
to speculate upon whether they will or can marry.

It has been laid down very clearly in all the books, V
that in general all persons are able to marry unless XA
they are unable, and the fine old constitutional

maxim, that "a man may not marry his grand- rfjs
mother," ought to be written in letters of gold over jg^^^^sM^,
every domestic hearth in the British dominions. >i
There are some legal disabilities to a marriage, a? j?
such as the slight impediment of being married $ j**-
already ; and one or two other obstacles, which
are too well known to require dwelling on.

If a father's heart should happen to be particu-
larly flinty, a child under age has no remedy, but
a stony guardian may be macadamised by the Court
of Chancery ; that is to say, a marriage to which
he objects may be ordered to take place, in spite
of him. Another incapacity is want of reason in
either of the parties ; but if want of reason really
prevented a marriage from taking place, there
would be an end to half the matches that are
entered into.

A considerable deal of the sentiment attaching to
a love affair has been smashed by the 6 and 7th of
William IV., c. 85, explained by the 1st of Victoria,
e. 22,—for one act is always unintelligible until
another act is passed to say what it means. This
statute enables a pair of ardent lovers to rush to
the office of the superintendant registrar, instead
of to Gretna Green ; and there is no doubt that if
Romeo could have availed himself of the whole-
some section in the act alluded to, Juliet need not
have paid a premature visit to the " tomb of all the
Capulets."

Marriages could formerly only be dissolved by
death or divorce ; but the New Poor Law puts an [ ^^^J^f^"^^
^nd to the union between man and wife directly ' tv*. JiS^" v^T~^
they enter into a parochial Union. Divorce, ex- ;^Sfca^Jps^ -
cept in the instance just alluded to, is a luxury 1~=T —T"—^
confined only to those who can afford to pay "—=—■'
for it; and a husband is compelled to allow

money—called ali-money—to the wife he seeks to be divorced from.
Marriages, it is said, are made in Heaven, but unless the office of the
registrar be a little paradise, we don't see how a marriage made before
that functionary can come under the category alluded to.

A husband and wife are one in law—though there is often anything but
unity in other matters. A man cannot enter into a legal agreement with
his wife, but they often enter into disagreements which are thoroughly
mutual. If the wife be in debt before marriage, the husband, in making
love to the lady, has been actually courting the cognovits she may have
entered into ; and if the wife is under an obligation for which she might
be legally attached, the husband finds himself the victim of an unfortunate
attachment. A wife cannot be sued without the husband, unless he is
dead in law ; and law is really enough to be the death of any one. A
husband or a wife cannot be witness for or against one another, though a
wife sometimes gives evidence of the bad taste of the husband in select-
ing her.

A wife cannot execute a deed ; which is, perhaps, the reason why
Shakspeare, who was a first-rate lawyer, made Macbeth do the deed,
which Lady Macbeth would have done so much better, had not a deed
done by a woman been void to all intents and purposes.

By the old law, a husband might give his wife moderate correction ;
but it is declared in black and white that he may not beat her black and
blue, though the civil law allowed any man on whom a woman had
bestowed her hand, to bestow his fists upon her at his own discretion.
The common people, who are much attached to the common law, still
exert the privilege of beating their wives ; and a woman in the lower
ranks of life, if she falls in love with a. man, is liable, after marriage, to
be a good deal struck by him.

Such are the chief legal effects of marriage, from which it is evident,
says Brown, that the law regards the fair sex with peculiar favour ; but1
Smith maintains that such politeness on the part of the law is like amia-
bility from a hyaena.

Xiifts for Lazy lawyers.

Chancery Practice.
Q. What is an Original Bill ?

A. Don't know, but should think that Shakspeare is the most

Original Bill " on record.

Q. Is a next friend moveable, and how ?

A. Yes, by asking him to accept a Bill for you.

Q. What are the privileges of the peerage ?

A. Stealing knockers and fighting duels with impunity.

Q. When are receivers' accounts to be taken ?

A. Whenever you can get 'em, as in the case of St. Stephen's, Wal-
brook. '

Wimbushiana.

We understand that a Society of Anti-Owenites will purchase Wimbush's
omnibus, as a vehicle for striking at the very root of the Social System.

It is said that there will shortly be a new edition of " Zimmerman or>.
Solitude," embellished with a portrait of the passenger in Wimbush'a
omnibus.

A. Report in Sport made a Truth in Ernest.

The papers are renewing the rumour of the King of Hanover visiting
England again in the spring. Our contemporaries should be careful how
they circulate such reports. They should bear in mind the fate of the
shepherd who amused himself by crying out " Wolf."