139
Connemara, they wrote off despatches to their government, saving,' be effected by making the chuich pupil constantly practise on a
" The Duke of Nemours is beaten, and a prisoner!" "The Irish brigade j stuffed criminal. Can there be better practice for parsons than on
has done it all ! " on which His Majesty the King of the Irish, con- ! lay-figures ?
voking his Parliament at the Corn Exchange Palace, Dublin, made a
speech, in which he called Louis Philippe an ' old miscreant,' and
paid the highest compliments to his son and his troops. The King
•on this occasion knighted Sir Henry Sheehan, Sir Gavan Duffy
(whose journals had published the news) ; and was so delighted with
the valour of his son, that he despatched him his Order of the Pig
and Whistle (1st class), and a munificent present of five hundred
We must, however, make another provision. If the common peo-
ple are to be hanged by simple clergymen, who—should so dire a
necessity present itself—is to chop off the head of a peer ? The
executioner is obvious : he can be no other than the Archbishop of
Canterbury. Hence, at either college must be added to the Chair of
Knots a Chair of the Ohopping-Block : and as every clergyman has
a chance of the See of Canterbury, so must he take his degree not
thousand pounds—in a bill at three months. All Dublin was illn- only of the knot but of the axe. Thus, we may see appended to the
minated ; and at a ball at the Castle, the Lord Chancellor Smith names of reverend men, M.A.KA.X.S.—Master of-Arts, Knots, and
(Earl of Smithereens), getting extremely intoxicated, called out the Axes.
Lord Bishop of Galway (the Dove), and they fought in the Phoenix
Park. Having shot the Right Reverend Bishop through the body,
Smithereens apologized. He was the same practitioner who had
rendered himself so celebrated in the memorable trial of the Kin"-—
o
before the Act of Independence.
Meanwhile, the army of Prince Henri advanced with rapid strides
towards Paris, whither the History likewise must hasten ; for This, however, we shall get used to
-extraordinary were the events preparing in that capital.
The country is much indebted to the wise and sensitive people of
Rochdale : we have no doubt that their wishes will be gratified, and
hanging be greatly dignified thereby. To be sure, when any new
functionary may be required for a county, it will startle us at first to
read in the Times:—
'• Wanted, a Clergyman in every wav fit for the Gallows."
HANGING CLERGYMEN
SONGS OF THE HEARTH-RUG.
THE NEGLECTED WIFE TO HER KUSHLKJHT,
, . , My rushlight, when first kindled,
akgi.vg it appears, has Us abuses. Twelve inches long wast thou ;
Criminals—it must be another grief Alld . b<jllold thee dwindled
to them in their last sorrows — are To one, my candle, now !
not executed with sufficient decorum. Hqw brief tfay 8pan; coatrasted
They are hanged to be sure, but not : With rushlight's average life !
satisfactorily to the precisians of; A happier dip had lasted
Rochdale ; two thousand of whom A week a happier wife.
(their petition was presented by Mr.
S. Crawford) have prayed the House
of Commons to turn its patriotic at-
tention to the abuses of the gallows.
The petitioners complain, that men
are hanged by " a hireling of the
Where is my husband got to ?
Oh sai, expiring light !
A man ought really not to
Stay out so every night.
I 'in sure that Bradshaw's press'd hii
.'o join his tippling lot :
sheriff," often a vulgar person, know- That Bradshaw ! I detest him
ing nothing of "due decorum or The good for-nothing sot !
solemnity."' Hence, as sometimes in
a playhouse tragedy, the pathos of
the scene is destroyed by a bungling
actor of the heavy business. How,
then, thought we, is this to be reme-
died ? Doubtless, the very particular
people of Rochdale would have a
Ketch College, where man might study every turn of the halter, and
Would that this piece of paper,
Which, ere thy flame expire,
I light from thee, my taper,
Could set that club on tire !
A CARD TO THE HOUSE OF COMMONS.
The German Siffleur presents his compliments to the Members of
take degrees upon fast, running, and slip-knots. Why should there be the House of Commons, and begs to call their attention to the following
a Master of Arts, and not a Master of the Gallows ? Wherefore should quoted from the Time*, in its report of the debate on the Factory Bill,
we have M.A.'s. and not a solitary M.G. ? Drydev tells a storv of Mr. Collett and Mr. Hardy rose to speak, when the " noise was beyond
•a hangman's wife, who declared that "any bungler might put u : description — cock-crowing, cat-mewing, and similar discordant sounds
fellow to death ; but," she added, with conjugal vanitv, pleasant and ca",e lo,ud *nd ^onS ^om each side of the House." The German
pardonable-" it was only her husband who could make a ma-, die SlffleUr^ ^ a pl\Vate fl;iend that' thou8 1 fhese lmitat(10"9 »«™
., n tt 11.1 i -i • it i very creditable to non. members, thev were nevertheless not perfect. He
sweetly. He was doubtless born with a genius tor rope. Halters theretore takes the libertyof mfonning them that he will, in two lessons,
from his boyhood were to him tam.har as his garter. SQ in8truct Members of Parliament to bray like au ass or gaggle like a
1 he people of Rochdale, however, have proved themselves equal g00se, that even their dearest relatives shall not in any particular know
*o the occasion. They are none of your hot-blooded, unphilosophical them from the original.
•reformers, who have only a genius for destroying present institutions, _____
without brains for future improvement. If they quarrel with the i
present ordinary Jack Ketch, it is only because they feel too acutely | THE TRIUMPH OF REASON,
the claims of men who should succeed him. They disdain the lay | Application having been made to Louis Philippe, to the effect that he
'hangman from their excessive veneration of the prison parson, for i would be pleased to cause Mr. Dyce Sombre —who has escaped from his
they "prayed the House to enact, that whenever the taking of keepers to Paris—to be straightway sent back to England, his Majesty,
*human life was commanded to be done, under the laws of the state, with his characteristic acumen, begged first to have the reports of half-a-
it should be performed as a religious ceremony, and by a clergyman of dozen French physicians, touching Mr. Sombre's implied madness. The
the state ckurclt." May we be permitted, with all deference, to observe,
that we think this hears somewhat hard upon the great body of the
Dissenters s Religious liberty, indeed, will be but a sound, if a
■culprit may not from his own pulpit choose his own hangman.
With this little drawback, easily remedied, we think the petition
■of the Rochdale people full of wisdom and benevolence. To carry
•out their views, it will be indispensably necessary to institute a new
professorship at Cambridge and Oxford for the proper instruction of
all olerieo-hangmen The Chair of Knots (no better name strikes
us) must be worthily filled at either college, that students of theology
and the halter may learn to hang with a decorum and decency
physicians one and all declared that Mr. Dyce Sombre showed the strongest
symptoms of sanity (for an Englishman), for he was throwing about heaps
of money for the encouragement of French ingenuity and French com-
merce. If, however, any doubt could remain of the gentleman's mental
health, that doubt was wholly set at rest by him a few nights ago, when
he gave a most magnificent supper to upwards of five hundred people.
The French authorities very properly considered this to he the triumph
of reason. Mr Dyce Sombre remains in Paris.
Foreign Intelligence,
Should the man sentenced to death in Louisiana be really hanged, it
the intention cf the Americans to further adorn the national dag by
sufficient to satisfy the fastidious critics of Rochdale. This can easily ' quartering a gibbet proper among the stripes and stars.
Connemara, they wrote off despatches to their government, saving,' be effected by making the chuich pupil constantly practise on a
" The Duke of Nemours is beaten, and a prisoner!" "The Irish brigade j stuffed criminal. Can there be better practice for parsons than on
has done it all ! " on which His Majesty the King of the Irish, con- ! lay-figures ?
voking his Parliament at the Corn Exchange Palace, Dublin, made a
speech, in which he called Louis Philippe an ' old miscreant,' and
paid the highest compliments to his son and his troops. The King
•on this occasion knighted Sir Henry Sheehan, Sir Gavan Duffy
(whose journals had published the news) ; and was so delighted with
the valour of his son, that he despatched him his Order of the Pig
and Whistle (1st class), and a munificent present of five hundred
We must, however, make another provision. If the common peo-
ple are to be hanged by simple clergymen, who—should so dire a
necessity present itself—is to chop off the head of a peer ? The
executioner is obvious : he can be no other than the Archbishop of
Canterbury. Hence, at either college must be added to the Chair of
Knots a Chair of the Ohopping-Block : and as every clergyman has
a chance of the See of Canterbury, so must he take his degree not
thousand pounds—in a bill at three months. All Dublin was illn- only of the knot but of the axe. Thus, we may see appended to the
minated ; and at a ball at the Castle, the Lord Chancellor Smith names of reverend men, M.A.KA.X.S.—Master of-Arts, Knots, and
(Earl of Smithereens), getting extremely intoxicated, called out the Axes.
Lord Bishop of Galway (the Dove), and they fought in the Phoenix
Park. Having shot the Right Reverend Bishop through the body,
Smithereens apologized. He was the same practitioner who had
rendered himself so celebrated in the memorable trial of the Kin"-—
o
before the Act of Independence.
Meanwhile, the army of Prince Henri advanced with rapid strides
towards Paris, whither the History likewise must hasten ; for This, however, we shall get used to
-extraordinary were the events preparing in that capital.
The country is much indebted to the wise and sensitive people of
Rochdale : we have no doubt that their wishes will be gratified, and
hanging be greatly dignified thereby. To be sure, when any new
functionary may be required for a county, it will startle us at first to
read in the Times:—
'• Wanted, a Clergyman in every wav fit for the Gallows."
HANGING CLERGYMEN
SONGS OF THE HEARTH-RUG.
THE NEGLECTED WIFE TO HER KUSHLKJHT,
, . , My rushlight, when first kindled,
akgi.vg it appears, has Us abuses. Twelve inches long wast thou ;
Criminals—it must be another grief Alld . b<jllold thee dwindled
to them in their last sorrows — are To one, my candle, now !
not executed with sufficient decorum. Hqw brief tfay 8pan; coatrasted
They are hanged to be sure, but not : With rushlight's average life !
satisfactorily to the precisians of; A happier dip had lasted
Rochdale ; two thousand of whom A week a happier wife.
(their petition was presented by Mr.
S. Crawford) have prayed the House
of Commons to turn its patriotic at-
tention to the abuses of the gallows.
The petitioners complain, that men
are hanged by " a hireling of the
Where is my husband got to ?
Oh sai, expiring light !
A man ought really not to
Stay out so every night.
I 'in sure that Bradshaw's press'd hii
.'o join his tippling lot :
sheriff," often a vulgar person, know- That Bradshaw ! I detest him
ing nothing of "due decorum or The good for-nothing sot !
solemnity."' Hence, as sometimes in
a playhouse tragedy, the pathos of
the scene is destroyed by a bungling
actor of the heavy business. How,
then, thought we, is this to be reme-
died ? Doubtless, the very particular
people of Rochdale would have a
Ketch College, where man might study every turn of the halter, and
Would that this piece of paper,
Which, ere thy flame expire,
I light from thee, my taper,
Could set that club on tire !
A CARD TO THE HOUSE OF COMMONS.
The German Siffleur presents his compliments to the Members of
take degrees upon fast, running, and slip-knots. Why should there be the House of Commons, and begs to call their attention to the following
a Master of Arts, and not a Master of the Gallows ? Wherefore should quoted from the Time*, in its report of the debate on the Factory Bill,
we have M.A.'s. and not a solitary M.G. ? Drydev tells a storv of Mr. Collett and Mr. Hardy rose to speak, when the " noise was beyond
•a hangman's wife, who declared that "any bungler might put u : description — cock-crowing, cat-mewing, and similar discordant sounds
fellow to death ; but," she added, with conjugal vanitv, pleasant and ca",e lo,ud *nd ^onS ^om each side of the House." The German
pardonable-" it was only her husband who could make a ma-, die SlffleUr^ ^ a pl\Vate fl;iend that' thou8 1 fhese lmitat(10"9 »«™
., n tt 11.1 i -i • it i very creditable to non. members, thev were nevertheless not perfect. He
sweetly. He was doubtless born with a genius tor rope. Halters theretore takes the libertyof mfonning them that he will, in two lessons,
from his boyhood were to him tam.har as his garter. SQ in8truct Members of Parliament to bray like au ass or gaggle like a
1 he people of Rochdale, however, have proved themselves equal g00se, that even their dearest relatives shall not in any particular know
*o the occasion. They are none of your hot-blooded, unphilosophical them from the original.
•reformers, who have only a genius for destroying present institutions, _____
without brains for future improvement. If they quarrel with the i
present ordinary Jack Ketch, it is only because they feel too acutely | THE TRIUMPH OF REASON,
the claims of men who should succeed him. They disdain the lay | Application having been made to Louis Philippe, to the effect that he
'hangman from their excessive veneration of the prison parson, for i would be pleased to cause Mr. Dyce Sombre —who has escaped from his
they "prayed the House to enact, that whenever the taking of keepers to Paris—to be straightway sent back to England, his Majesty,
*human life was commanded to be done, under the laws of the state, with his characteristic acumen, begged first to have the reports of half-a-
it should be performed as a religious ceremony, and by a clergyman of dozen French physicians, touching Mr. Sombre's implied madness. The
the state ckurclt." May we be permitted, with all deference, to observe,
that we think this hears somewhat hard upon the great body of the
Dissenters s Religious liberty, indeed, will be but a sound, if a
■culprit may not from his own pulpit choose his own hangman.
With this little drawback, easily remedied, we think the petition
■of the Rochdale people full of wisdom and benevolence. To carry
•out their views, it will be indispensably necessary to institute a new
professorship at Cambridge and Oxford for the proper instruction of
all olerieo-hangmen The Chair of Knots (no better name strikes
us) must be worthily filled at either college, that students of theology
and the halter may learn to hang with a decorum and decency
physicians one and all declared that Mr. Dyce Sombre showed the strongest
symptoms of sanity (for an Englishman), for he was throwing about heaps
of money for the encouragement of French ingenuity and French com-
merce. If, however, any doubt could remain of the gentleman's mental
health, that doubt was wholly set at rest by him a few nights ago, when
he gave a most magnificent supper to upwards of five hundred people.
The French authorities very properly considered this to he the triumph
of reason. Mr Dyce Sombre remains in Paris.
Foreign Intelligence,
Should the man sentenced to death in Louisiana be really hanged, it
the intention cf the Americans to further adorn the national dag by
sufficient to satisfy the fastidious critics of Rochdale. This can easily ' quartering a gibbet proper among the stripes and stars.