Punch (8.1845)

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 193

PUNCTUALITY IS THE SOUL OF BUSINESS.

No-o-o. Good night, old chap !—Business is the soul of punc-
tuality. I must go now. I 'ye got some busi-business to attend to-

THE MYSTERY OF MEDICINE.

We perceive that Mr. Muntz has given notice of a motion
requiring all medical practitioners to write their prescriptions in
English, and to put plain English on their gallipots. If this proposal
is adopted, the dignity of Medicine is gone, for on the principle of
omne ignotum pro magnifico, people fancy that a prescription must do
them a wonderful deal of good if they cannot understand the
meaning of it. Who will have any faith in medicine when he
knows the ingredients ?

There is something mysterious in Daw piluloe factce cum pane, hut
when we come to know that it means nothing more than "two bread
pills," the senses revolt against the idea of deriving any benefit from
taking them. Besides, when a medical man is in a hurry, and does
not know exactly what to prescribe, he can always with safety scribble
down Aq.— Cochl.—pan.— Sen.—Mag.— Curt., and the apothecary, if he
has any tact, will send in something harmless, with directions—at
his own discretion—about the mode and period of taking it.

But if all prescriptions are to be in English, what on earth is a
medical man to do when he wants to prescribe nothing at all, but a
dose quite at the discretion of the chemist. We knew a facetious
general practitioner who used to jot down quod—plac—mi—form—car,
which looked very well in abbreviated Latin, but which was in short
] —or rather in full—quodcunque places, mi farinose care—(whatever you
I please, my pretty dear ;) a prescription the chemist always under-
! stood to mean water with a dash of senna in it, to be taken at bed-
| time. We entreat Mr. Muntz to pause before he strips medicine
of that mystery which gives it half its importance in the eyes of the
multitude. As to anglicising the gallipots we defy the best linguist
on earth to translate into English those mystic syllables which are
painted at random with a view to variety, and without the remotest
attempt at meaning.

(hlC)-let- ters to-write

THE STATE VISIT.

The Houses at the Albert Grate.

c"v^ he lessee of the "Only National Theatre" being

t_N$»&rd'n desirous of making the most he could of the state

/ ____ "Ty \ visit of Her Majesty, retained the fittings of the

Every one is asking the meaning of the two houses lately erected at ^^gSD f royal box as one of the attractions for the next

the Albert Gate. Their extreme altitude induces many to regard them /ffiwk \ evening's entertainment. It was announced in the

as the height of absurdity, and it is the general impression that a servant %L bllls that>ln add,Uon t0 the Brtde °f Lammermoor,

sleeping in the attic must start off for bed in the middle of the day, in HiKl £^ m whlch DupREZ would appear, the state-box

order to arrive by a reasonable hour at the chambre a coucher. A W$mL P • would remain as on the previous evening,

fashionable lady, making a morning call, would faint at the contemplation W$fflkzdF) I We understand it was originally the intention

of " Such a getting up stairs " as would be necessary before reaching the T1 Cw/| j}A of tne lessee to. have rePreseuted the entire scene

drawing-room. We remember when these houses were in course of ' v i \\ rjttfflmjf °^ ^G state v^s'r> tue vai'i°us royal and distin-

being built, the bricklayers were drawn up and down by a sort of endless t ,;" 'Oj»fe/ guished individuals who were present being per-

ladder, so that we presume the intention is to let the occupants up and v .\-'>#^^ sonated by the members of the company. The

down—should the houses ever be occupied at all—by some species of
machinery. We strongly recommend a series of cranes, labelled after
the manner of bells, for servants and visitors. A succession of ropes
with tickets on them, indicating crane for tradespeople, crane for
domestics, crane for visitors, &c, would be a very desirable arrange-
ment. A man must be very ambitious who would take either of these
lofty abodes, for he must soar like an eagle to get into his own cockloft,
and as to his nine chimney pots they look like a chain of appe-nines.
We would as soon attempt the ascent of Mont Blanc, as climb into the
frozen regions of those inhospitable attics, which have been hitherto
untrodden by any but that human chamois, the bricklayer. We never
look at these houses without thinking of Shakspeare's description of the
cliff at Dover—

" Half-way down,
Are those who glaze the windows ! Dangerous trade."
*******

The topography of these mansions is not less curious than their construc-
tion, for they are imbedded in a nest of pawnbrokers' shops, publichouses,
and other humble establishments of a similar character. Surely the
family that would inhabit one of these abodes could never require avun-
cular aid, for the very height of the premises would place them consider-
ably above it; and we cannot fancy the butler rushing next door with the
spoons, a necessity for which is the only excuse for being the immediate
neighbour of a pawnbroker.

CHEAP REFRESHMENT.

The Birmingham Advertiser says :—" In these days it is quite refresh-
ing to pronounce the name of the Duke of Newcastle." We suggest,
then, as the warm weather is coming on, that the name of his Grace
should be written up in every public thoroughfare.

late Mr. Elliston created an immense sensation
as George the Fourth, in the spectacle of the Coronation, and was
allowed on all hands to have made a better, or at least a more effective
monarch than the actual Sovereign ; so that Mr. Bunn has, at all events,
a precedent for making his actors represent living royalty.

We think a very " strong bill," as the players term it, might have been
made by announcing the highly successful farce of the

ROYAL BOX.

With all its splendid decorations, appointments, and properties.
Principal Characters by

Miss Romer, Miss Betts, Miss Rainforth, Mr. Bunn, Mr. Harlby,
Mr. Howell, and Mr. W. H. Payne.

THE STATISTICS OF SOAP.

Mr. Hutt, with a laudable desire to ascertain how his county is off for
soap, has moved for and obtained a Parliamentary return embracing all
the statistics of this very interesting subject. It seems that, in England,
the quantity of soap manufactured is considerably larger than the quantity
made in Scotland. Perhaps the increase in the manufacture in
British soap may have arisen from a rumour that several of the old
Tories intended to wash their hands of Peel ; and as some of those
hands have had a finger in matters not particularly nice, it was naturally
thought that a great quantity of soap would be required for the operation
alluded to.

We understand that Mr. Williams seconded Mr. Mutt's motion, on
the ground that we ought to know how we stand for soap, when we may
be called upon rather suddenly to lather the Americans.

Vol. 8.

1