Punch (10.1846)

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

29

OUR NATIONAL DEFENCES.

here are sometimes entertained doubts
of our being prepared to offer effectual
resistance to a foreign enemy, but it is
refreshing to feel that we are really a
great deal more secure than we are oc-
casionally led to imagine. It is only by

a crisis that great facts come out; and
the Christmas Box crisis has elicited
some very valuable statistics on the sub-
ject of the defences of the Temple, which
appears to be protected by a phalanx of
force that, considering the size of the
place, must be considered utterly invin-

required whether A. B. should pay the poor's-rate or not, and what steps,
under all the circumstances, you think proper to advise."

After due deliberation, Mr. Briefless returned the following opinion,
which does our learned protege, much credit, for it abounds in those beau-
tiful complications that are the life and soul of legal science :—

" Opinion.

Cl This is a nice point {Smith's Leading Cases, passim). A tax is not in
the nature of a trust, for there can be no trust where ready money is
required ; and every one will remember the rule in Shelly's case, which
is not imperative here (Puffendorf, 6). If there is a distress, theremust
be a sale (Abbott on Shipping). If A. B. really be tenant of the freehold,
and not tenant by courtesy, it would be common courtesy to pay the tax-
gatherer at once, and give him no further trouble (Adams's Roman Anti-
quities; chapter 1). Gavelkind is no answer to this case, and if it were I
should not advise it to be put in (Beaumont and Fletcher). If A. B. has
cibTe.' It will hardly be believed that; Sot the money, he had better pay it at once and get rid of it (Swan and
a staff of officers night and day is ! Ed9ar) 5 but if not, let him put it off as long as he can (Comic Blackston*

1 Fly-leaf).

" This is my opinion, " j. Briefless.

" Witness, John Thomson, Clerk."

kept up in the Temple, which, in what
is termed the " war time," had scarcely
any parallel even in the strong fortified
towns and inland garrisons. The Tem-
plars may sleep over their law-books with
the consciousness that there is a body
of men taking care of the place, whose

numbers, judging from the long list of jfoUS^lX ptttteif) 4FortB--(FftN tfjiOUClf) a <2Tatrtf)tSm.
applicants for Christmas-boxes, are suf-
ficient to give them an ascendancy over
all casual enemies.

In the first place, there are two gate-
keepers to open one gate, which is always
wide open from morning till night, and
never kept at all as a gate, except during
the night, when, no doubt, two officers i

are necessary to guard against surprise ! 4o- ?*\L> when he said to Commons and Peers

from without, as well as to enable the That the Income Tax should end in three years—

lhat was, p raps, the coolest thing."

'46. " What else have you seen that was cool, 'Forty-Five ?
What else have you seen that was cool F'

45. " Why Jonathan threatening that he'd annex us,
If we grumbled about his annexing Texas—
That struck me as rather cool."

'46. f< Come, answer me, answer me, old 'Forty-Five,
As an old man a young should answer ;
I've much to learn; so, while you 're alive,
Just resolve me this point, if you can, sir.
What's the coolest thing that you've seen, 'Forty-Five ?
What's the coolest thing that you've seen ? "

gallant fellows to pass a portion of their
time at cribbage before a good fire un-
derneath the gateway. In addition to
these gate-keepers, whose duty it is to die
at their post—the gate-post—though such
a sacrifice has never been required of
them, yet,—we have two watchmen who
In case of an attack on the gate, would give the alarm to the whole Temple,
though, by the way, it often happens that a couple of nervous old watch-
men will give the alarm to each other by mutually frightening one another
out of their wits. There is also an ancient corps of under-porters, whose
nominal duty is to take in letters duringthe day, and sleep during the night ;
but who, of course, would be ready in case of an unexpected outbreak.

In addition to these, there are two local troops who sometimes call
themselves beadles, and sometimes warders, from .the rrixed nature of

their occupation, which is to walk up and down with canes in their hands, ! '45. " Why, a Duke's discovery (misnamed Surry)

'46. u What's the strangest thing that you've seen, 'Forty-Five ?
What's the strangest thing that you've seen 1 "

'45. " Why, the opening of Hungerford Bridge, with a profit,
As the newspapers say, obtainable off it—
That, p'raps, was the strangest thing."

'46. " What else that was strange have you seen, 'Forty-Five :
What else have you seen that was strange ?"

•as a terror to little boys, which savours of the beadle, and occasionally to
stand still and gossip, which smacks of the warder. In addition to all
this array of power, the Temple is further guarded by a dustman and a
lamplighter, who, in case of an emergency, would lay down their lives—
that is to say, their lanterns and their dust-baskets—in defence of the
Temple and its liberties.

We are indebted for the discovery of all these statistics to the happy
occurrence of Boxing-day, which has developed the official force of the
Temple in the fullest manner. We quite approve of this large standing
army being kept up, and cheerfully contributed to its support on the
festive occasion of Christmas; but we should like to suggest that, with
all this power at the disposal of the Temple, it seems rather unnecessary
to allow chambers to be robbed in the way that sometimes happens. We
merely throw this out as a hint for the great standing army of porters,
■warders, and beadles to act upon, if they approve of the suggestion.

LEGAL INTELLIGENCE.

That a labourer can live on a pinch of curry—
It)at struck me as rather strange."

'4 6. " What's the cruellest thing that you've seen, 'Forty-Five ?
What's the cruellest thing that you've seen ? "

'45. " Why, the Arabs roasted by ' the great nation,'
In their novel process of civilization—
That was, p'raps, the cruellest thing."

'46. u What else that was cruel have you seen, 'Forty-Five ?
What else have you seen that was cruel \ "

'45. " Why, Peel's going out to set Whigs in a bustle,

And then coming back to sell poor LoRn John Russell—
That struck me as rather cruel."

'46. " What's the saddest thing that you Ve seen, 'Forty-Five '«
What's the saddest thing that you've seen ? "

'45. " Why, Dukes pooh-poohing a nation's famine,
Their oxen and pigs to plethora crammin(g)—
That was, p'raps, the saddest thing."

'46. " What else that was sad have you seen. 'Forty-Five ?
What else have you seen that was sad ?"

It is not generally known that His Rotal Highness Prince Albert
was advised to take counsel's opinion on the demand that had been made

upon him for poor-rates in the case of the Flemish Farm. His Royal «wh j h and loom ,d , ; each

Highness s solicitor drew up a case, which was despatched to Mr. Brief- J AJ ^ °f ttin that Co'tton% hig brother_ '

less, the Standing Counsel Extraordinary and Deputy Sub-assistant, That struck me as rather sad."

Attcrney-ljeneral to the inferior departments of the Royal Household. |
The case was endorsed with the words, "Mr. Briefless, 1/. Is. ; Clerk's
tee (or Christmas Box) 2s. 6d." A pen had been drawn through the cus-
tomary words " With you," and " By yourself as usual" had been substi-
tuted in long-primer capitals, which looked to the eye of Briefless longer
and primer than they had ever done before. The following was the

" Case for Opinion.
A. B. has a farm, and C. D. calls for poor's-rate. Your opinion is

OF NO USE TO THE OWNER.

We read in the French papers that the Emperor Nicholas has made
a present to the Prince Buttura of a church at Venice. We suppose
His Imperial Majesty gave away that which he knew he had the least
occasion for.