Punch (10.1846)

50

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

THE MINISTERIAL PUZZLE.

MORALS OF TRADE.

One Alfred Leonard—a miserable
i| LjrTjj, m lijil j I i felon!—was a day or two since charged

with robbing a worthy tradesman,
named Bingley, of Pentonville, of a
saucepan, value 4^d. The audacious
ruffian confessed his guilt. Indeed the
saucepan and label were found upon
him.

" Mr. Green wood (to the prosecutor): Read
that label.
The prosecutor did so. aloud.
Mr. Greenwood : You have not read it all.
Read on.

The prosecutor read a part of the label describing
the article as made ol block tin.

Mr. Greenwood: That is untrue, and you
know it.

Prosecutor: Yes, that is untrue.
Mr. Greenwood : Then why do you represent
an article to be what it is not?

Prosecutor : We are obliged to tell the public so.
Mr. Greenwood : Indeed you are not obliged
to do anything ot the sort, and it is aot the part
or a respectable tradesman.

Prosecutor: We tell our customers so, but if they
ask us whether the article really is what it is
iabelled as, wt tell t/ie/n the I ruth."

"We admire this wisdom on the part
of Mr. Bingley. Truth being, like
diamonds, very precious, should not be
made too common. Hence, it is the
part of a thiifty tradesman only to tell
the truih when his customers ask for it.
It would be unseemly in him to press
veracity, whether or no, upon them.
And therefore the iniquitous rogue—
the open day-light thief, to the value of
4±d. — is very properly committed for
trial—and the wise, judicious tradesman
is bound over to prosecute. Wretched
Alfred Leonard ! In a very short
time, he may expiate his guilt upon
the treadmill,—whilst Mr. Bingley
may continue to taste the sweets of
profit from saucepans labelled " block
tin "—that are not so. Serviceable is
the wisdom that, in this wicked, work-
ing-day world, can keep a tradesman on
the safe side of an Act of Parliament !

Our readers are no doubt familiar with certain puzzles, in which amusement and instruction
are happily blended, by pasting a map on wood, cutting it up iuto small pieces, aod leaving it to
the ingenuity of anybody to put it together again. We have seen the Sovereigns of Eusjland
served in this wav, and we have often been trying for a quarter of an hour to ^et the head of
Charles the First on to the shoulders of Charles the Second. We uuderstaud that the
favourite Ministerial game during the Christmas holidays has consisted in a Political Pi.zzle,
occasioned by the breaking up of the party which, until lately, exhibited a firm and compact
appearance. Wellington and Peel have taxed their ingenuity day after day in endeavouring
to adjust the Puzzle and place the different persons into the places to which they are fitted.
The effort has however been very futile, and it is to be feared that thev have made a sad
bungling business of it. Considerable difficulty was occasioned by not knowing what to do with
Lord Ellenborough. Peel insisted that he did not belong to the set, but Wellington
declared resolutely, that a place must and should be found for him Peel very reluctantly found
room for him, but exclaimed petulantly, " Well —I know the introduction of Ellenborough
will throw us out altogether. We tried him before, and he made everything come wrong." Tne
Duke was however obstinate, and Ellenborough was poked in, but Peel declared that he
knew the coDsequeuce would be that the Cabinet Puzzle would never get completely adjusted.

CAUTION TO THE BRITISH PUBLIC.

As it is very generally reported that the
Income Tax is to be increased at the open-
ing of Parliament, never was the national
warning more needed than at present, of,
•< Gentlemen, take care of your pockets."

ST. STEPHEN'S SCHOOL. WESTMINSTER.

K. PEEL,

i

head master of the above school,

Begs leave to remind his young friends that the tstablishment will re-
open on the twenty-second of January, when he hopes to find them all
in their places, and ready to pursue their ordinary tasks. He has several
good lessons in preparation, particularly for the agricultural class, who,
it ia hoped, will profit by what he is desirous of teaching them. While
he is anxious to encourage good boys with suitable rewards, it must be
remembered that he has several rods in pickle, which he shall freely use,
if he finds any necessity for doiug so. He is determined to preserve the
strictest discipline, and to put down any thing like insubordination wher-
ever it may show itself

R. Peel has determined on putting down everything in the shape of
sliding, which he will not allow to exist on any scale whatever.

Complaints having been made of the greediness of a snail portion of
the pupils, by whom the rest are deprived of what is fairly due to them,
R. Peel has made arrangements for giviog an unrestricted supply of

food to all. Those wno show any opposition to his plan will be compelled
to learn an extra lesson.

The boys in the upper form are particularly desired to take warning by
the disobedience of Master Stanley, who has lost his place, which has
been taken by another and better behaved boy, Master W. Gladstone.
R. Perl hopes that there will be no quarrelling between the different
classes, as too frequently happens in St. Stephen's School, for want of
discipline.

" PEPPER, AND THAT SORT OF THING."

We read in the paoers, that, at the time the Duke of Norfolk made
his dreadful lapsus about thd curry, the Duke of Richmond said his
feeling was such, that " he wished the earth would open and hide him.
The Duke op Richmond has not been altogether disappointed ; for, in
consequence of his ducal displays at several Protection Meetings, the
press has since opened upon him, and given him the hiding be sa
particularly wanted.

ENORMOUS GEESE.
In answer to a country correspondent, we beg leave to state that th«
greatest Goose-Club in London is the British and Foreign Destitute.