Punch (10.1846)

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. G5

THE BROOK GREEN VOLUNTEER.

The Militia-man, having a Cold in his Head, resorts to an Ingenious method of preserving his Health

without deserting his Post.

THE CITY CIVIL WAR.

The Blackfriars question seems likely to give quite as much trouble as
the American boundary affair ; and it is to be regretted that in both cases
men speaking a common language-—the language, by the byp, is dread-
fully common on the Thames—are brought into a hostile position. The
abusive language used towards the WatermeD, by the Lord Mayor's
mercenaries, has been beyond all conception. The abuse has, however,
been the least part of the fearful hostility that has raged between the
lival combatants. The struggle has been fierce, and our correspondent
at the seat of war sends us letters which confirm our worst fears for the
peace of the river.

Blackfriars pier is already declared to be in a state of siege, and
Martial Law prevails over the whole line of coast, from the coal-
barge at the mouth of the common sewer, to the dummy moored off
South wark.

The Lord Mayor reminds us of Charles the Tenth, sitting in his
easy chair, and dictating ordinances which are adding fuel to the flames
of a frightful revolution. He is lighting a fire upon every coal-barge ;
that is to say, in the hearts of the crew of that great commercial Marine,
which is as potential on the Thames as Britain herself is upon the
channel.

If the Lord Mayor ODce raises the spirit of revolt among the colliers,
it is a spirit that will not easily be allayed, for it cannot be afterwards
drowned in amicable beer, which only excites the passions it is intended to
swamp in the proffered liquor. The patriotism of the politician may be
cooled in friendly half-and-half, at the expense of his opponent, but the
ardour with which the bargeman clings to a cause he has once embraced
is only too proverbial.

We regret to find that the ambassadors of the Watermen have been
coldly received in the saloons of the Mansion House. We would tell
Lord Johnson, in his proud and haughty justice seat, that the popular
feeling is .against war, and woe will be to him who continues it. When
the Lord Mayor finds the whole of the Thames Navy arrayed against the
dredgers and the dregs whom he has collected under his dishonoured flag—

when he finds the enemy at his very gate—he will then--But it is

quite impossible for us to answer for the conduct of any Lord Mayor,
and we therefore leave the sentence unfinished.

2M)E i&tlttta JWobement.

Everybody is asking everybody else if anybody is exempt from the
Militia, and nobody seems to be accurately informed on this very exciting
subject. A vague impression is abroad that paternity is the grand spe-
cific to avoid being drawD, and children are gradually rising from an
alarming discount to a considerable premium.

The present becomes a very eligible opportunity for widows with two
or more children, who may insert matrimonial advertisements headed
Militia, pointing out how marriage may at once exempt the timid from
the chance of being called out for the defence of their country. We
will suggest a form, for the benefit of such widows as are disposed to act
upon our suggestion.

MILITIA AND MARRIAGE.

farewell GLORY ! welcome love 1 !

A widow lady, aged between 20 and 45, is desirous of meeting with a
timid, gentlemanly person, of respectable income, as a husband to her-
self and a father to her five children.

THE GENTLEMAN

Will have the immediate advantage of domestic comfort and an
exemption from serving in the Militia.

A confidential letter, addressed to Mrs. Blank, Post Office, will meet
with prompt attention.

The children may be seen any day between the hours of twelve and
one, in the Enclosure of St. James's Park.

. IF THE LADY

Is not approved, the payment of five pounds is expected for preliminary
expenses, and her hand will be disposed of to other applicants.

all one.

For the time-honoured admonition to the Pantaloon, "Don't be a
fool !" the Clowns ui the Pantomimes of most of the theatres have now,
we understand, substituted " Don't be a Duke ! "

Vol. 10.

3