Punch: Punch (11.1846)

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

21

SUICIDE PREVENTED.

Though it may hare been suicide in Sib R Peel to persevere with his Coer-
cion Bill, we must reconcile ourselves to the official death of a Minister, when we
find that his sacrifice has saved the lives of forty Irishmen. It appears, from a
letter addressed by Mb. O'Connell to "Dear Rat," that "the Repealers, to a
man, had resolved to perish on the floor of the House rather than the Bill should
pass." We suppose they all came provided with bare bodkins into the House on
the memorable night of the Division, to give themselves their respective quietudes
in the event of a different result from that which happened. What a noise
the report in the next morniDg's newspapers would have made ! In the
" Summary," we suppose it would have been merely stated that " the forty Re-
pealers then put a period to their own existences, and the House adjourned."
Perhaps the Speaker would have quietly rung his bell, given directions to the
attendant to " sweep away the tail," and the orders of the day might have been
disposed of if there had been any on the list. Perhaps, however—and it is the
more reasonable conjecture—the forty would have been satisfied with crying out
" Och, botheration ! I'm murthered ! I'm kilt ! " if the Bill had been suffered to
pass; for this exclamation is the extent to which " d\ ing on the floor of the
House " is likely to be carried by the Irish members.

THE TRAPPIST DIGGING HIS OWN GRAVE.

EGYPTIAN IMPRESSIONS.—No. II.

From Fuddool Effendi, in London, to his friend, Kx Bosh-Ibu-Hum-boogee

El-Hadj, in Musr {Cairo).

" I told thee, 0 Hadj, O my friend, in my last letter, how these Giaours
(dogs) and sons of Shaitan (Satan) strove to destroy thy friend, and the Basha,
our Lord—to whom be honour!—by eating and drinking. By the head of
Hosetn, they are a wonderful people. The koorsea (table) is amongst them
mooseummee 'alegh (sacred), even as the bread and the salt among the children
of the Prophet, to whom be honour ! If they meet together to transact busi-
ness, what is begun in the bazaar is finished over the table of wine and strong
meats. If their hearts are enlarged unto charity, it is when they have eaten
exceedingly. By my head, 0 Hadj, if the liver of me, thy friend, have not
crumbled away from much eating, it is by reason of the medicines of the
Franks.

" Verily, O Hadj, O my father, our Lord the Basha hath
been much honoured in this city of Jinn (evil spirits). His
face is white before the mistress the Queen, and her hus-
band the Basha Al-bebt. He hath had much glory before
the chief of the unbelievers.

"This is the blessing of the Prophet. To him be the
honour ! Only to a true believer it is vouchsafed to win
honour before the Queen, and to be very white in the eyes of
her husband the Basha Al-bebt, if he be of the ordinary
stature of man. But they that are exceedingly small—such
as he whom the Saxons call El-Thdmbee, a son of lit-
tleness, like the people of two cuDits, whom El-Sindibad
beheld in the Island of Ranrine—sit in the seat of honour.
' Unto the small,' saith the Choran, ' is given wisdom.' But
never, save in this land of unbelievers, hath thy friend seen
proper honour paid unto the exceedingly little. They sit
among the councillors, and the great Agas, and the wise
chkadees (judges), and none may say unto Elsitt (the mis-
tress) that their faces are black.

"Besides El-Thdmbee, who is the smallest, and whom
they much love to honour, there is a wonderful family of
dwarfs from El-Scot (which is a town in the province of
Ed-deen-buroo). They are two brothers of smallness and
a sister of littleness, wrhose faces caused the knees of thy
friend to wax slack. By the head of Alee ! they were
ugly. These the Queen hath called to her, and set upon
the deewan (cushions), to take council with them, and hath
given them the robe of honour, and made her face to
shine exceedingly upon them, and bestowed on them many
thousands of deendrs (a coin equal to 10 6), and they are
great in the land. The Moolahs and Agas of this city tell me
that it is by reason of their smallness that they are thus
honoured. But surely, 0 Hadj, this is untrue. By Allah !
it is not true, 0 my father ! But it is by reason of their wis-
dom, as the Fathah (first chapter of the Choran) declares, that
" unto the small is knowledge."

" Also, the Basha Al-bert causes his face to shine upon
the largest among oxen and horses. Here is now the father
of all oxen, which is to other beasts as the rockh unto other
birds. His face is white before the Court. Yet, the Basha,
though not a little man—may his shadow be increased !—
hath won honour, and the drops of royal favour have
flowed also over the beard of thy friend. Surely I shall write
again unto thee of other wonders."

MINISTERIAL MOVEMENTS.

Dibectlt the result of the division was known, Ma.
Bbiefless, who had been staying at Gravesend, returned to
town, and remained at his chambers to meet any contingency
that might be likely to happen. Unfortunately the first
contingency was the sending in of his tailor's bill ; and as
this was a contingency he was quite unable to meet, he at
once returned to Gravesend.

During the whole of the crisis, Captain Snooks, of the
Waterman, moored his boat opposite the Admiralty, but
no communication reached him from that or any other official
quarter. This treatment of Snooks is scarcely what could
have been expected by Snooks himself, but no one else seems
to have expressed the slightest astonishment.

As long as the state of ministerial uncertainty existed,
Tomkins, the indefatigable accountant, took an office in the
neighbourhood, and left his address at the Exchequer, with
a circular for the Chancellor of that important department

A New Registry Office.

Lobd Bbougham has registered a vow—so says a newspaper
—not to rest till he has driven the Whigs from the head of
affairs. It is time, we think, that there was a Registry Office
for vows : they accumulate so fast that it is impossible to
recollect them all. It would be curious to see at the end of
the year how many of these vows have been kept. A heavy
fee should be paid on registering ; otherwise, every old woman
in the House of Lords, and every Irish member in the House
of Commons would be rushing to the office every week to
register a new vow.

" MY BOYHOOD's HOME."
A newspapeb, amongst the fashionable news, says,—" Lobd
Geobge Bentinck started yesterday for his native place."
No name is mentioned, but it must be " Obscurity."