Punch: Punch (11.1846)

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 41

REFLECTIONS ON THE DUKE'S STATUE.

b have heard a great
deal of the new eques-
trian statue at Hyde
Park, and if all the
accounts of the interior
be correct, it will cer-
tainly beat all the
other statues hollow.
It seems that small
dinner parties have
been given inside the
horse. If this is true,
it may be the inten-
tion of the Duke to
hold the Waterloo
Banquets, for the fu-
ture, inside his own
statue.

We think, however,
if these entertain-
ments for man and
beast are repeated, it
may be as well to give
the public notice, or else the patriotic passer-by, sniffing up the smoke
as it issues in savoury curls from the nostrils of the horse, may go
home (as most Englishmen are led by the nose) with the notion that
the statue is fed upon venison and turtle : such a conclusion, at a
time when there is an increase of £7,000,000 in the expenditure of the
country, might lead to dangerous results.

But we think the great room there is inside for improvement might
be turned to considerable advantage. Why not let out the statue in
lodgings ? We are positive the following advertisement would bring a
thousand applications .—

TO BE LET. A Comfortable Koom in the Hind-Leg of the Equestrian
Statue of the Duke. a suite of rooms may also be had, extending from the right
shoulder to the left hip. The situation is exceedingly airy, the prospect delightful,
commanding a splendid view of Hyde Park and Lord Francis Egerton's bed-room,
and the ventilation perfect, as the eyes and ears of the horse are kept wide open all
day. The lodging can be reached at all hours of the day by means of a ladder. The
Duke's head still vacant.

There should be a proviso in the letting, that no Frenchman was to
be a tenant—or else some vindictive Bonapartist might get on the weak
side of the Duke, and do him bodily injury.

We would not mind living in the Duke's heart ourselves, if we
thought there was any room for us, but we know too well that every
corner of it is occupied by his country. We only wish the lease was
for 999 years.

PUNCH'S FABLES AND APOLOGUES.

FOP. the USE Of young POLITICIANS.

THE FISHERMAN AND THE GENL
{Dedicated to Sir Robert Peel and Richard Cobden.)

There was once an old Fish-er-man call-ed Rob-ert. He went out
to fish, and cast his net in-to the sea. And when he drew up his net,
he found it ve-ry hea-vy. " Allah pre-serve us," said Rob-ert, " what
can be in my net that it is so hea-vy ? " So he pull-ed and pull-ed, and
at last got his net upon the shore, and found in it a dead Don-key.
And the Don-key's name was burnt on the Donkey's side, and the name
was " Pko-tec-tion." Then Rob-ert turn-ed the dead Don-key
o-ver ma-ny times, to see what he could do with it. At last, " Out
upon it," said he, " and up-on my ill-luck ! What good can be done
With a dead don-key ? I will try an-o-ther cast." So he threw the dead
don-key back into the sea, and let down his net a-gain. And as he
pull-ed it up he found it ve-ry hea-vy, and he thought he had got some
large fish. And when he drew the net on land he found in it an old pot,
on which was punch-ed " Fixed Duty," but the pot was full of holes,
and would not hold wa-ter.

Then he curs-ed his ill-luck once more, and said, " I will make one
more tri-al, and if I get no fish I will not try a-gain to-day." So he
threw the old pot in-to the sea, and let down his net again. And, as he
pull-ed it up, he found it much more hea-vy than e-ver, and he said, "I
flat-ter my-self this is a large fish." And when he drew the net on land,
he found in it a ves-sel of bronze with a seal on the mouth, on which
was writ-ten " Re-stric-tion," and on the ves-sel was the word " League."
And he heard a voice from the in-side of the ves-sel, which said, " Take
off the seaL" And he took it off a ve-ry fit-tie way, and there came a
thick smoke out of the bot-tle, and it grew and grew, till it rose up to

the skies, and it was like a great gi-ant. Ana its eyes were like flame,
and its limbs like the cranks and pis-tons of steam en-gines, and on its
right hand was writ-ten "Peace," and on its left hand "Know-ledge."
And Rob-ert fell on his knees, and said, " 0 migh-ty Gi-ant! who art
thou, and what wouldst thou have ? "

Then the Gi-ant said, "I am a greatpow-er, and I have been for a
great ma-ny years, con-fined by that seal, which thou hast re-moved,
and for this thou shale be great and hap-py." So when Rob-ert heard
this, he was very glad ; but he could not un-der-stand how so huge a
Gi-ant could come out of so lit-tle a ves-sel. So he said to the Gi-ant,
" I can-not be-lieve that so large a bo-dy could come out of so small a
place." Then the Gi-ant said, " Will you be lieve it, if I go back a-gain,
for while the seal is off, I do not care for go-ing back in-to the ves-sel ?"
And then the Gi-ant grew less and less, and went by de-grees into the
ves-sel un-til he was quite out of sight. And then he said to Rob-ert,
"Throw the seal in-to the sea, take the ves-sel, and keep it by
thee al-ways, and thou wilt be good and hap-py, and all men will
love thee." And Rob-ert threw the seal into the sea, took the
ves-sel, and did as the Gi-ant bade him, and he lived long and hap-py,
and brought great good and much mo-ney to all his fa-mi-ly and all
the eoun-try round a-bout.

ANOTHER BLOW AT THE DRAMA.

In the Times' Supplement of the 13th, was the subjoined audacious
advertisement :—

HTO PERSONS KNOWING FRENCH.—A theatrical country manager
-«- offers a SITUATION to any person capable of translating those French pieces
that appear at the London theatres for his own establishment; and further, to join
with that duty the office of Prompter. Terms £2 per week ail the year round.
No member of the Dramatic Authors' Society will be treated with. Apply by letter,
post-paid, to X. Y. Z., at Mr. F-'s, theatrical printer, M-Street, B--

This, it is plain, is a mortal blow aimed at the best interests of the
drama. Consider it, enthusiastic patron of the stage ; if, as certain
tailors " keep a poet," every country Manager employs his own trans-
lator, doubling him with prompter, messenger, or private knife-
cleaner—what is to become of a large, a useful, and most industrious
body of men, at the present time occupied upon their own account as
go-betweens to the French and London play -houses ? We consider
the above advertisement to be malignant and mischievous, and call
upon every translator (if the call be not unnecessary) to be " up and
doing."

Prizes at the Agricultural Stiow.

Prizes were given to Sir Robert Peel, for a new corn-crushing
machine, in the shape of a bill ; to Mr. Thomas Duncombe, for a new
style of chaffing ; to Mr. Daniel O'Connell, for the best set of
tools, for draining a poor soil; to Prince Albert, for an improyed
tile for drifis ; to Lord Brougham and Lord Lyndhdrst, for a short
process of cutting wool ; to Mr. Hume, for a machine for paring in
all seasons ; and to Sir Culling Eardley Smith, for the best machine
for bolting.

HOW TO TELL THE AGE OF A LADY.

he age of a lady could be ascer-
tained a short time ago by the
number of flounces she wore on
her dress. Thus, if not more than
twenty, she had only two flounces ;
if above thirty, she had three
flounces ; if she had passed the
woman's rubicon—forty, then she
displayed four deep flounces ; and
so on, adding an additional flounce
for every ten years. Since this
scale of measurement, however,
has become generally known, the
preposterous fashion of having
the dress all flounces, running
from the pavement up to the
waist, has been gradually going out. It is a rare thing now to meet a
lady whose dress displays more than one flounce. We even saw a
lady at Kensington Gardens, the last band day, whose m&usseline had
no flounce at all, which we thought was carrying the female propensity
of concealing age to too great an absurdity ; but on peeping under
her bonnet we saw at once the difficulty she must have laboured under,
for she certainly looked as if—like Shakspeare— she was of no time,
but belonged to all ages.

Vol. 11.

2—2