DOI issue:
July to December, 1846
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16543#0134
126
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
AN OBJECT OF SUSPICION.
Elderly Gentleman (reads). "Felony. Whkreas James Biccs has absconded, Sec. He
ibout forty years of age, and had on a pair of plaid trowsers, &c, &c."
IS
INFLUENCE OF MUSIC.
A military band is to be embarked for Tahiti,
as it has been found, says a French paper, that
music has already produced upon the sava?e
inhabitants of Oceania the most softening influ-
ences. By means of a fiddle, the savages have
been induced lately to supply the garrison with
provisions, and it is expected that if a full band is
only tried upon them, they will actually learn,
in time, to love the cruelty of the French domin-
ion. The music-master of the regiment has been
sent with a cornet-a-piston and a banjo to play to
Queen IPomare, but she will not listen to the
dreadful overtures they have made to her, and
has done nothing but throw cold water upon
them. The Governor, however, is not in the
least disconcerted, and hopes, as soon as the
military band arrives, to win both ears of the
obdurate Queen. A musical expedition is at
present fitting out, with this purpose, at Toulon,
and it is mentioned that Monsieur Musard is
to be invested with the baton of command.
" Au clear de la Lune" is being prepared for
twenty-four ophicleides, and those who have
heard it declare that the effect is perfectly stun-
ning.
We have not the slightest doubt that all the
islands will instantly give way to the per-
suasion of French brass. What savage could
listen unmoved to a French Serpent ? However,
we are glad to hear of this musical movement.
It proves that Louis-Philippe is only anxious to
restore harmony to a country where there has
existed, since his ships have been there, nothing
but discord.
INTERESTING CLERICAL DISCOVERY.
We understand that a singular discovery has been made by the
Dean and Chapter of Westminster, corroborated, in its main points,
by the corresponding dignitaries of St. Paul's, and of most other cathedral
churches in the kingdom. It has recently appeared that the opinion,
so long prevalent among statesmen and legislators, that the public, if
admitted to view works and monuments of Art gratis, would infallibly
mutilate and destroy them, is erroneous. Experiments on a large scale,
conducted at the British Museum, the National Gallery, Hampton
Court, and other institutions and places of interest, have abundantly
refuted this error in a general way. But the clerical gentlemen above
alluded to have found out that there are exceptions to the public's
■otherwise uniform good conduct in this particular. They have satisfied
themselves that tombs, effigies, and mural tablets have a species of
■attraction almost magnetic for pen-knives and walking-sticks.
Their researches, however, have furnished them with a remedy, con-
sidered by them to be of unfailing efficacy against the mischief to
which the million are thus prone. It consists in the extraction from
the pocket of each visitant to their collection—we beg pardon—to the
tombs in Westminster Abbey, of the small coin termed a sixpence. At
St. Paul's, it seems, twopence is found an adequate safeguard for the
body of the church ; but the ascent of the sacred edifice requires an
ascending scale of protection. As the sixpences, and twopences, and
shillings of the million are millions of sixpences, and shillings, and two-
pences, the reverend philosophers above mentioned are no doubt reap-
ing a rich harvest from their discovery.
Tiie Sake and the Bray-Horses.
Mr. Jesse, the veracious historian of Dogs, has favoured us with
the following :—" A fact singularly illustrative of the sensibility of the
horse, has come to the writer's knowledge. Mr. Goding, the well-
known brewer, volunteered the services of forty dray-horses to drag
the Wellington Statue from the foundry to the arch. All the
animals are so elated by the honour, that they have lost their stomachs,
and can scarcely swallow half their usual quantity of beans. Very
striking this," says Mr. Jesse. And Punch adds—" Very."
The Deserted City.—The poor Shopkeepers of the Metropolis have
sent a Petition to Her Majesty, hoping that in her numerous trips
she will not forget London.
IMPORTANT DISCLOSURES.
Judas Blabb, Income-Tax Collector, respectfully invites the atten-
tion of all persons who, whether from Curiosity or Interested Motives,
are desirous of Obtaining an Acquaintance with the Affairs of their
Neighbours, to the Peculiar Facilities which he enjoys, in virtue of his
Office, for affording them the required Intelligence. Individuals con-
templating Engagements as Clerks, or Assistants to Professional Men,
resident within J. B.'s District, will do well to consult him before con-
cluding their arrangements with the parties. Bill-discounters, Mort-
gagees, and others, about to Advance Money, may obtain from him the
most satisfactory information respecting the Credit or Solvency of
Merchants, Gentlemen, or Traders. J. B. also especially addresses
himself to Persons about to Marry, whom he will engage to supply
with the Fullest Particulars relative to the Means and Prospects of
their Intended Partners, and the State of the Parental Exchequer. J.
B.'s Terms are remarkably Low, consisting in a moderate per centage
on the Amount of Prospects specified in his Disclosures, with a slight
extra charge for important secrets.
*** Bankers and Gentlemen desirous of Concealing the Nature of
their circumstances may secure this object by application at J. B.'s
Office, on the Payment of a Moderate Fee.
MAGNANIMOUS MEXICANS.
When the brave Mexicans turned out Santa Anna, it may be re-
membered that they exhumed the President's leg, that had been
magnificently interred in the public cemetery, and " kicked it about
the streets." There was a heroism, a magnanimity in the act, worthy
of a great people. Santa Anna has returned, and is again the idol of
the people. Where is the idol's leg ? As the President has returned
to his chair, surely the leg ought to be restored (with all military
honours) to the tomb.
THE STATUE AT LARGE.
If the proverb that "coming events cast their shadows before"
should be realised in the case of the Duke's Statue, the day of its
arrival will be as bad as an eclipse of the sun in the metropolis.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
AN OBJECT OF SUSPICION.
Elderly Gentleman (reads). "Felony. Whkreas James Biccs has absconded, Sec. He
ibout forty years of age, and had on a pair of plaid trowsers, &c, &c."
IS
INFLUENCE OF MUSIC.
A military band is to be embarked for Tahiti,
as it has been found, says a French paper, that
music has already produced upon the sava?e
inhabitants of Oceania the most softening influ-
ences. By means of a fiddle, the savages have
been induced lately to supply the garrison with
provisions, and it is expected that if a full band is
only tried upon them, they will actually learn,
in time, to love the cruelty of the French domin-
ion. The music-master of the regiment has been
sent with a cornet-a-piston and a banjo to play to
Queen IPomare, but she will not listen to the
dreadful overtures they have made to her, and
has done nothing but throw cold water upon
them. The Governor, however, is not in the
least disconcerted, and hopes, as soon as the
military band arrives, to win both ears of the
obdurate Queen. A musical expedition is at
present fitting out, with this purpose, at Toulon,
and it is mentioned that Monsieur Musard is
to be invested with the baton of command.
" Au clear de la Lune" is being prepared for
twenty-four ophicleides, and those who have
heard it declare that the effect is perfectly stun-
ning.
We have not the slightest doubt that all the
islands will instantly give way to the per-
suasion of French brass. What savage could
listen unmoved to a French Serpent ? However,
we are glad to hear of this musical movement.
It proves that Louis-Philippe is only anxious to
restore harmony to a country where there has
existed, since his ships have been there, nothing
but discord.
INTERESTING CLERICAL DISCOVERY.
We understand that a singular discovery has been made by the
Dean and Chapter of Westminster, corroborated, in its main points,
by the corresponding dignitaries of St. Paul's, and of most other cathedral
churches in the kingdom. It has recently appeared that the opinion,
so long prevalent among statesmen and legislators, that the public, if
admitted to view works and monuments of Art gratis, would infallibly
mutilate and destroy them, is erroneous. Experiments on a large scale,
conducted at the British Museum, the National Gallery, Hampton
Court, and other institutions and places of interest, have abundantly
refuted this error in a general way. But the clerical gentlemen above
alluded to have found out that there are exceptions to the public's
■otherwise uniform good conduct in this particular. They have satisfied
themselves that tombs, effigies, and mural tablets have a species of
■attraction almost magnetic for pen-knives and walking-sticks.
Their researches, however, have furnished them with a remedy, con-
sidered by them to be of unfailing efficacy against the mischief to
which the million are thus prone. It consists in the extraction from
the pocket of each visitant to their collection—we beg pardon—to the
tombs in Westminster Abbey, of the small coin termed a sixpence. At
St. Paul's, it seems, twopence is found an adequate safeguard for the
body of the church ; but the ascent of the sacred edifice requires an
ascending scale of protection. As the sixpences, and twopences, and
shillings of the million are millions of sixpences, and shillings, and two-
pences, the reverend philosophers above mentioned are no doubt reap-
ing a rich harvest from their discovery.
Tiie Sake and the Bray-Horses.
Mr. Jesse, the veracious historian of Dogs, has favoured us with
the following :—" A fact singularly illustrative of the sensibility of the
horse, has come to the writer's knowledge. Mr. Goding, the well-
known brewer, volunteered the services of forty dray-horses to drag
the Wellington Statue from the foundry to the arch. All the
animals are so elated by the honour, that they have lost their stomachs,
and can scarcely swallow half their usual quantity of beans. Very
striking this," says Mr. Jesse. And Punch adds—" Very."
The Deserted City.—The poor Shopkeepers of the Metropolis have
sent a Petition to Her Majesty, hoping that in her numerous trips
she will not forget London.
IMPORTANT DISCLOSURES.
Judas Blabb, Income-Tax Collector, respectfully invites the atten-
tion of all persons who, whether from Curiosity or Interested Motives,
are desirous of Obtaining an Acquaintance with the Affairs of their
Neighbours, to the Peculiar Facilities which he enjoys, in virtue of his
Office, for affording them the required Intelligence. Individuals con-
templating Engagements as Clerks, or Assistants to Professional Men,
resident within J. B.'s District, will do well to consult him before con-
cluding their arrangements with the parties. Bill-discounters, Mort-
gagees, and others, about to Advance Money, may obtain from him the
most satisfactory information respecting the Credit or Solvency of
Merchants, Gentlemen, or Traders. J. B. also especially addresses
himself to Persons about to Marry, whom he will engage to supply
with the Fullest Particulars relative to the Means and Prospects of
their Intended Partners, and the State of the Parental Exchequer. J.
B.'s Terms are remarkably Low, consisting in a moderate per centage
on the Amount of Prospects specified in his Disclosures, with a slight
extra charge for important secrets.
*** Bankers and Gentlemen desirous of Concealing the Nature of
their circumstances may secure this object by application at J. B.'s
Office, on the Payment of a Moderate Fee.
MAGNANIMOUS MEXICANS.
When the brave Mexicans turned out Santa Anna, it may be re-
membered that they exhumed the President's leg, that had been
magnificently interred in the public cemetery, and " kicked it about
the streets." There was a heroism, a magnanimity in the act, worthy
of a great people. Santa Anna has returned, and is again the idol of
the people. Where is the idol's leg ? As the President has returned
to his chair, surely the leg ought to be restored (with all military
honours) to the tomb.
THE STATUE AT LARGE.
If the proverb that "coming events cast their shadows before"
should be realised in the case of the Duke's Statue, the day of its
arrival will be as bad as an eclipse of the sun in the metropolis.