DOI Heft:
July to December, 1846
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16543#0217
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
200
A HOME FOR THE STATUE.
There seems to be a difficulty in finding a home for the Wellington
Statue. " Avaunt, and quit my sight ! " appears to be the involuntary
exclamation of every one who stands in its overwhelming presence
The monster bids fair to become the WanderiDg Jew of public statues,
unless a permanent home can be found for it. We have a suggestion to
make, which we think will give rest to the wanderer. Instead of the
two horseboxes for mounting guard in Parliament Street, let one be
■made in their stead sufficiently c 'mmodious for the reception of the
Duke on horseback. He will thus serve a double purpose, for he will
certainly frighten away the little boys just as well as the two gallant
fellows who now sit with drawn swords for the intimidation of rebellious
urchins, and he will possess the advantage of not being so attractive to | ^0 give you a toss for it"
the nursery-maids, and causing such an obstruction of the footpath as
the living military occasion.
Perhaps, however, the strongest argument of all for the adoption of
■our plan is, that the gates of the horse-boxes are closed at four o'clock,
and consequently after dark the Statue would never be visible. This
would prevent the possibility of alarm being occasioned to those whose
nerves are not strong enough to bear the inflictiou of a frightful spec ■
tacle after the shadows of eve have once descended.
SmMjfiettJ Htgfjfs of OTattle.
" Mr. Punch,
'•Not being able to write myself, I employ the foot of a humble
friend of mine, a learned pig,—at the present moment in treaty with
the folks of Egyptian Hall—to vindicate the rights of my order. Last
Lord Mayor's Day, an ox, proceeding through the City, knocked
down and trampled upon one child—whilst another ox tossed another.
Whereupon certain editors—I'm told they 're called—cry out for that
un-English establishment an abattoir. In a word, they would have us
whirled up by rail to some obscure outskirt of the town, and there
slaughtered, before we had seen a bit of London life.
" Now, Mr. Punch, I do not object to roy lot. I eat my grass, my
turnips, and my oil-cake contentedly for the benefit of man, well
knowing that I am streaking my sirloin with marbly fat—I believe he
calls it—not for myself, but for him. I can even look upon horse-
radish with dry eyes, tboush full well knowing that some day we shall
come together. But, Mr. Punch, if beef has its duties, it also has its
rights. I come of a metropolitan stock. All my family for generations
upwards, have supplied the Smithfield market ; they have all had
their comfortable, leisurely stare at London shops and London people,
on their way to the Beef Exchange, Smithfield. (The hull who so
famously distinguished himself in a china-shop, was my ancestor.)
And, I ask it, are we for the sake of a few lives—or a few broken
limbs per annum on the part of the human family, a family whom we
feed—to be knocked upon the head in our ignorance : killed in a hole or
corner ; without one glance at ourselves in London plate-glass ; without
tossing two or three children ; maiming an old woman or so, and
making well-dressed nervous females squeal, and run into a shop, as if
with a frighted conscience, when they only see so much as the tips of
our horns.
"But, as my friend the pig suggests, some of you reforming gentry
having done away with the gridirons in Smithfield, would now, to finish
the matter, abolish the beef.
"Howsomever, unless I'm allowed to have my lounge up Bridge
Street, with a little frisk up Fleet Street or up Ludgate Hill, on my
way through Farringdon—a dodge or so up Snow Hill—tossing a
quaker, or perhaps killing outright one or two of the very lowest orders
—unless I 'm allowed the enjoyment of what I've always been taught
to consider my vested rights, I '11 have my revenge ; for let 'em try to
feed and cram me as they will, when I get to the butcher's I'm deter-
mined to cut up precious lean ; and so I remain,
" Yours, Mr. Punch, (either in steak or sirloiu),
" Young Bull.
"P.S. If, Mr. Punch, you are in any doubt of the justice of my
claims, and would wish to decide it, once and for all, I have no objection
THE BREVET.
The following promotions were somehow omitted in the Gazette :—
Earl Fitzhardinge to have the full command, by purchase, of the
West Gloucestershire Division of Independents, vice Grantley Ber-
keley, dismissed.
Morgan John O'Connell, of the Repeal corps, to be Aide-de-camp
to Lord John Russell, and do general duty in the Whig ranks.
Gomersal to be Napoleon, vice Conquest, retired, and Widdicomb
to be F.M. the Duke op Wellington for the next Astley's campaign.
Lord Brougham to be on the staff of Louis-Philippe, and to receive
the first baton of High Constable of France.
Daniel O'Connell to be Receiver-general to the Repeal Forces.
Mr. Briefless to be Serjeant in the Common Pleas.
Cause and Effect.
Sir Robert Inglis has given it as his opinion, that the wreck of
the Great Britain must be attributed to the repeal of the Corn Laws.
He says he always knew that Great Britain could not keep her head
above water when the Corn Bill came into operation.
gold VERSUS steel.
The tool which th 3 Emperor Napoleon used to coerce Spain was
the sword. Alas 1 it is now—blunt!
GOOD NEWS FOR ANGLERS.
ithin a few days ago the basins at Trafalgar
Square underwent a thorough cleansing, when
a quantity of eels were discovered at the bottom.
This fact opens out a very considerable prospect
in a commercial sense, for it gives promise of a
possible extension of our fisheries. The idea of
having an eel reservoir in the very heart of the
metropolis is a " great fact " in piscatory annals.
We see a hundred ways in which this discovery
may be turned to advantage. The " right of
fishery " may be rendered profitable by letting it
to those disciples of old Isaac Walton who
are desirous of enjoying a quiet angle without
leaving London. Such an arrangement would be
much more satisfactory than the present practice
of rushing out of town, and sitting in a punt for
hours catching nothing. The certainty of the
supply of eels in the waters of Trafalgar Square
will prevent the disappointment which some-
times arises to the lovers of the sport from the
deficiency of the finny tribe in the usual places
resorted to for the purpose of fishing.
We have no doubt that the Trafalgar eels will
become exceedingly popular, and will be eventually formidable rivals
to the Greenwich whitebait and the Yarmouth herrings.
splendid effects.
Alexandre Ddmas has received at Madrid the GraDd Cross of
Charles HL, making somewhere about the fiftieth cross he has received
in his lifetime. When this Brtareus of literature opens his theatre,
he will never be at a loss to give a new piece plenty of decorations.
200
A HOME FOR THE STATUE.
There seems to be a difficulty in finding a home for the Wellington
Statue. " Avaunt, and quit my sight ! " appears to be the involuntary
exclamation of every one who stands in its overwhelming presence
The monster bids fair to become the WanderiDg Jew of public statues,
unless a permanent home can be found for it. We have a suggestion to
make, which we think will give rest to the wanderer. Instead of the
two horseboxes for mounting guard in Parliament Street, let one be
■made in their stead sufficiently c 'mmodious for the reception of the
Duke on horseback. He will thus serve a double purpose, for he will
certainly frighten away the little boys just as well as the two gallant
fellows who now sit with drawn swords for the intimidation of rebellious
urchins, and he will possess the advantage of not being so attractive to | ^0 give you a toss for it"
the nursery-maids, and causing such an obstruction of the footpath as
the living military occasion.
Perhaps, however, the strongest argument of all for the adoption of
■our plan is, that the gates of the horse-boxes are closed at four o'clock,
and consequently after dark the Statue would never be visible. This
would prevent the possibility of alarm being occasioned to those whose
nerves are not strong enough to bear the inflictiou of a frightful spec ■
tacle after the shadows of eve have once descended.
SmMjfiettJ Htgfjfs of OTattle.
" Mr. Punch,
'•Not being able to write myself, I employ the foot of a humble
friend of mine, a learned pig,—at the present moment in treaty with
the folks of Egyptian Hall—to vindicate the rights of my order. Last
Lord Mayor's Day, an ox, proceeding through the City, knocked
down and trampled upon one child—whilst another ox tossed another.
Whereupon certain editors—I'm told they 're called—cry out for that
un-English establishment an abattoir. In a word, they would have us
whirled up by rail to some obscure outskirt of the town, and there
slaughtered, before we had seen a bit of London life.
" Now, Mr. Punch, I do not object to roy lot. I eat my grass, my
turnips, and my oil-cake contentedly for the benefit of man, well
knowing that I am streaking my sirloin with marbly fat—I believe he
calls it—not for myself, but for him. I can even look upon horse-
radish with dry eyes, tboush full well knowing that some day we shall
come together. But, Mr. Punch, if beef has its duties, it also has its
rights. I come of a metropolitan stock. All my family for generations
upwards, have supplied the Smithfield market ; they have all had
their comfortable, leisurely stare at London shops and London people,
on their way to the Beef Exchange, Smithfield. (The hull who so
famously distinguished himself in a china-shop, was my ancestor.)
And, I ask it, are we for the sake of a few lives—or a few broken
limbs per annum on the part of the human family, a family whom we
feed—to be knocked upon the head in our ignorance : killed in a hole or
corner ; without one glance at ourselves in London plate-glass ; without
tossing two or three children ; maiming an old woman or so, and
making well-dressed nervous females squeal, and run into a shop, as if
with a frighted conscience, when they only see so much as the tips of
our horns.
"But, as my friend the pig suggests, some of you reforming gentry
having done away with the gridirons in Smithfield, would now, to finish
the matter, abolish the beef.
"Howsomever, unless I'm allowed to have my lounge up Bridge
Street, with a little frisk up Fleet Street or up Ludgate Hill, on my
way through Farringdon—a dodge or so up Snow Hill—tossing a
quaker, or perhaps killing outright one or two of the very lowest orders
—unless I 'm allowed the enjoyment of what I've always been taught
to consider my vested rights, I '11 have my revenge ; for let 'em try to
feed and cram me as they will, when I get to the butcher's I'm deter-
mined to cut up precious lean ; and so I remain,
" Yours, Mr. Punch, (either in steak or sirloiu),
" Young Bull.
"P.S. If, Mr. Punch, you are in any doubt of the justice of my
claims, and would wish to decide it, once and for all, I have no objection
THE BREVET.
The following promotions were somehow omitted in the Gazette :—
Earl Fitzhardinge to have the full command, by purchase, of the
West Gloucestershire Division of Independents, vice Grantley Ber-
keley, dismissed.
Morgan John O'Connell, of the Repeal corps, to be Aide-de-camp
to Lord John Russell, and do general duty in the Whig ranks.
Gomersal to be Napoleon, vice Conquest, retired, and Widdicomb
to be F.M. the Duke op Wellington for the next Astley's campaign.
Lord Brougham to be on the staff of Louis-Philippe, and to receive
the first baton of High Constable of France.
Daniel O'Connell to be Receiver-general to the Repeal Forces.
Mr. Briefless to be Serjeant in the Common Pleas.
Cause and Effect.
Sir Robert Inglis has given it as his opinion, that the wreck of
the Great Britain must be attributed to the repeal of the Corn Laws.
He says he always knew that Great Britain could not keep her head
above water when the Corn Bill came into operation.
gold VERSUS steel.
The tool which th 3 Emperor Napoleon used to coerce Spain was
the sword. Alas 1 it is now—blunt!
GOOD NEWS FOR ANGLERS.
ithin a few days ago the basins at Trafalgar
Square underwent a thorough cleansing, when
a quantity of eels were discovered at the bottom.
This fact opens out a very considerable prospect
in a commercial sense, for it gives promise of a
possible extension of our fisheries. The idea of
having an eel reservoir in the very heart of the
metropolis is a " great fact " in piscatory annals.
We see a hundred ways in which this discovery
may be turned to advantage. The " right of
fishery " may be rendered profitable by letting it
to those disciples of old Isaac Walton who
are desirous of enjoying a quiet angle without
leaving London. Such an arrangement would be
much more satisfactory than the present practice
of rushing out of town, and sitting in a punt for
hours catching nothing. The certainty of the
supply of eels in the waters of Trafalgar Square
will prevent the disappointment which some-
times arises to the lovers of the sport from the
deficiency of the finny tribe in the usual places
resorted to for the purpose of fishing.
We have no doubt that the Trafalgar eels will
become exceedingly popular, and will be eventually formidable rivals
to the Greenwich whitebait and the Yarmouth herrings.
splendid effects.
Alexandre Ddmas has received at Madrid the GraDd Cross of
Charles HL, making somewhere about the fiftieth cross he has received
in his lifetime. When this Brtareus of literature opens his theatre,
he will never be at a loss to give a new piece plenty of decorations.