Punch: Punch (11.1846)

212 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

" YODR bath is quite ready. Ma'aM."

"Well, but my good gjkl, I can't gft into such a bit of a thing as that!'

A BAD PRECEDENT.

Perhaps the only solid objection to the remo-
val of the Statue of the Duke of Wellington
from the top of the arch, is the handle it affords
to other statues to insist on being removed
from their present unfavourable positions. We
understand that Nelson has already begun to
betray considerable uneasiness at the top of
his column, and a strong movement may possi-
bly be made by his friends to get the same justice
dealt out to the Hero of the Nile which is about
to be accorded to the Victor at Waterloo. It may
be said that Nelson has been guilty of laches in
not being down upon the public long ago, if he
had really objected to the post—or pillar—as-
signed to him. It must, however, be remem-
bered that poor Nelson has been literally tied
by the leg, as any one will be able to ascertain,
by the tremendous coil of rope that twines itself
gracefully—or rather, disgracefully—round the
calves of the naval conqueror. So disgusted has
he been with the misery of his position, that had
they allowed him sufficient rope there is not the
smallest doubt in the world that he would long
ago have hanged himself. There are several
other statues whose cases call for commiseration,
and we think equal justice ought to be dealt
out to all, but particularly to that glorious tar
who, in the nautical language of the Com-
mander of the Buttercup, may be said " to have
reached the very highest binnacle."

EFFECTS OF SERVING A LORD MAYOR.

We have received the following extraordinary letter, which requires
no comment, or which, if it did, would not get any from us at the pre-
sent moment:—

" Sir,—I have to complain of the injury that has been done me by
the excessive hospitality of the late Lord Mayor Johnson. I entered
his service quite a genteel figure, and indeed, having been employed
by Lord Mayor Magnay, had been reduced almost to the dimensions
of a skeleton ; I had since that got myself into what I call good condition,
without any sacrifice of my figure, but a year in the service' of Lord
Mayor Johnson has completely ruined my symmetry, laid -waste my
waist, and carved out mycalves for a regular Guy in the most distressing

18i5. 1846.

manner. The constant festivities at the Mansion House may have
been sport to the guests, but it has been death to my pretensions to
•elegance of contour, which was always worth an additional four pounds
to my wages. I want to know. Sir, whether I have any remedy for the
injury that has been done to me in my profession. I forward two por-
traits, one representing me as I was before entering Lord Johnson's
-service, and the other showing what he has reduced—or rather what
he has enlarged—me to. As Hamlet says, " Look on this picture "
-out not on this. Believe me, yours to the fullest extent,

"John Anklejack."

THE REV. HUGH STOWELL UPON EGGS.

This Reverend Gentleman seems to be a great authority upon eggs.
Had he lived in the good old pillory times, and, like Prynne or
Bastwick, worn the wooden ruff for his zeal, and, unlike them, been
pelted by the mob, he could have scarcely had a more cultivated taste
for eggs—for eggs of all kinds, whether of barn-door poultry, or the
more exotic laying of cockatrice. We have seen the egg hornpipe
performed by a young lady at a country fair ; and pleasing it was to
behold the grace with which the blindfolded damsel would wind in and
out of the ovary circle, now essaying the rocking-step, and now the
double-shuffle.

The egg hornpipe, as performed a few days 6ince at Exeter
Hall, by Mr. Stowell, for the benefit of the Protestant Association,
was no less dexterous—the rocking-step and the double-shuffle alike

complete.

" He would rather see that man in power who boldly said he would endow the Roman
Catholics, than the man who, under the cover of Christianity, nursed in his bosom the
cockatrice egg, which, when hatched, brought forth the Maynooth Grant."

Nursing a cockatrice egg under cover of Christianity, which brought
forth the Maynooth Grant, in effect means this : to bring forth Roman
Catholic poultry—nothing less than the cock of St. Peter. But the
Rev. orator has not done with the egg.

" It was the misfortune of the Protestants that their efforts had generally been too
late ; their proper time for exertion was when Parliament teat in the egg."

That is, before it began to cackle. It would be well for Mil
Stowell were he, by the like cause, compelled to the like silence.

" Bresson Is Coming."

It is said that Lady Lyttleton, the governess, uses these words to
the royal children to quiet them when naughty ; and with reason, for
says Lt Commerce :

" M. Bresson has already signified to the Ministry that, in quitting Madrid, he would
expect the embassy at London,"

and—it is understood by Lord Brodgham and others in the con-
fidence of Lotjis-Philippe—will be the bearer of a love-letter (with
portrait) of the Comte de Paris to the little Princess RoyaL New
locks and bolts have been ordered by the Queen for the nursery.

MESSAGES CAREFULLY DELIVERED.

A Brougham runs bptween Paris and London regularly every month,
and carries parcels, and executes small commissions. Terms very low
Apply at the Tuilleries, back door