Punch (12.1847)

PUNCH, Oil THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

59

i

HORRID TRAGEDY IN PRIVATE LIFE I

I

THE TASTE OF THE TREADMILL.

In a document addressed to the Visiting Justices, the Governor of
the Coldbath Fields House of Correction, states, with reference to labour
on the treadmill, that—

" In proof that it is regarded by many prisoners as calculated to vary the monotony
of their confinement, the governor has very frequently been importuned to allow them
to work on the treadwheel, and many, on having their requests refused, have shed tears
of disappointment."

The treadmill has been long established as a specific in cases of
larceny ; but we had no notion that the medicine was so palatable as
to induce the patient to cry for it. It must be rather a comfortable
state of things in which the treadmill is a relief. The fact stated by
the Governor of Coldbath Fields is an important revelation. It
shows that the affinity of the workhouse to the prison may be ren-
dered yet closer with advantage , the monotony of confinement in the
Union may admit of the same agreeable variation which diversifies it
at Coldbath Fields. True, labour od the treadmill is very disgraceful,
but so is poverty—according to law. Why not, then, let the tread-
mill be introduced into the poor-house, and allow paupers the option of
a voluntary exercitation on it ? The permission would be a boon to
them ; they would prefer crushed feelings to crushing bones. Suffer-
ing from cold or from solitude, it would be a comfort to them to " tsflce
a turn on the treadmill."

The imprisoned squirrel solaces himself with a similar exercise.
The exhibition, however, should be public • for the treadmill un-
doubtedly does not seem so pleasant as it is ; and thus an example
would be afforded to indigence. Hard labour is always recommended
in cases of poverty; yet the treadmill has not been prescribed by
the Foor Law. Wherefore? Perhaps, since the remedy is so much
1 relished, on account of its insufficient bitterness.

CHEAP THEATRES.

In the absolute failure of other
attractions, certain theatrical

THE MANCHESTER POST-OFFICE.

Myriads of murmurs have reached us from Manchester, against the
difficulty experienced in getting a money-order cashed at the Post
Office. One unhappy clerk is placed to do the work of a dozen, and
the exhaustt d official, though eager to get through the whole, frequently

bursts into convulsive sobs, and thus offers a further impediment to j ^na^ers haveTat T"be ^""^V"*1
business by a sickly sort of sentiment. We are given to understand that' r-ce m8te <j t e -t en^^a m§
such is the difficulty of getting money-orders cashed, that there is a Vsid^ion for dr^7people°to
positive depression in the value of these documents. An order for
fifteen shillings was quoted at twelve and sixpence, a day or two ago ;
and, on a very busy day, these securities are flat, at a figure consider-
ably below par, in the public market.

Some attribute the inefficient arrangements to the desire of the Go-
vernment to keep the public money as long as possible in hand during
the present tightness. An entire day's interest on all the money pass-
ing through the Manchester Post Office is no inconsiderable item, at a
time like the present. Whatever the cause may be the effect is to
bring discredit on a class of securities which might be very useful under
proper regulations. A crisis is evidently going on at Manchester, for
the men of business are all beginning to charge their correspondents
with the discount on Post Office orders, or for the attendance of a clerk
five hours—half-a-day—to get it converted into cash by the proper
authorities.

RAILWAY GEOGRAPHY

It is quite evident that the old Geographies and Road-Books must
be getting useless, except as guides to the antiquities of our country.
New educational books are already, we believe, in course of preparation
to supersede our old friend Guy, who is becoming—as all Guys ought
to be—regularly exploded. The geographical questions which will
shortly be in use have reference to nothing but railways. Instead of
asking, " What is the capital of England?"—the instructor of youth will
inquire, " What is the capital of the London and Birmingham Railway?"
"Name the chief towns in the West," is to be expunged, and "Name
the chief stations on the Great Western," is to be the substitute.

What are the principal productions of such a place is no longer a
subject of importance ; but the question now asked is "What does such
a railway produce ? " and the answer is, perhaps, " Ten per cent, to the
proprietors, and a mere fraction—of the limbs—to the passengers."

We shall look forward with interest to a complete geographical work
upon the plan we have recommended. Distance, of course, will no
longer figure in the maps, but time will be the substitute. " How many
miles ?" will be altered into, " How many minutes ?"—and the answers
will vary according to the different degrees of punctuality on the
different railways. For example, ten minutes on the Dover and
Brighton will be equivalent to half-an-hour on the Eastern Counties,
and so on, in the same proportion. Mean time will be the time they

their establishments. Such is
the struggle among the lessees
to lower their charges to the
minimum point, that it is in con-
templation to add a sandwich and
a glass of ale to the regular per-
formances. We remember the
timg when an ice was offered at
the Lyceum, to draw an audience
in the Dog-days, but the public
treated the bait with freezing
indifference. We expect shortly
to see in the bills of some cheap
house of entertainment the an-
nouncement that the performance
will commence with :—

TrTn

GREATLY DEDUCED

PMCE5

ADMISSION

INCLUDING

AClassoj Alt

antra.

HSANDWICH

A POPULAR MELODRAMA
After which will be presented

An entirely New Sandwich,

With new bread, new butter, new ham, and new mustard. The whole
produced under the immediate direction of the Proprietor of the Old
Bailey Beef-house.

Subsequent to the Sandwich,

a grand ballet of action :

The whole to conclude with an entirely original

Glass of Ale,

Introducing several new hops, and adapted to the English stage by
Messes. Barclay, Perkins, and numerous auxiliaries.

landlords' Pledges.

Lord Motjntcashel states that the rental of Ireland is about
thirteen millions, that the landlords have pawned their rents to the
amount of ten millions, leaving the population to starve upon the
remaining three millions. Under these circumstances, which, like the
rents, cannot be redeemed too quickly, we think the emblem of Ireland
mean, but not the time stated in the time-table. We need not point should be changed from the shamrock to the pawnbroker's balls. The
out how desirable it is to prepare such a work as the one we have emblems of the United Kingdom henceforth should be, " The raise, the
hinted at. ) thistle, and the three balls."