DOI issue:
January to June, 1847
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16544#0093
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
83
GREAT TWOPENNY MEETING AT ST. PAUL'S.
\_From. oar own Correspondent, who was locked in.~]
night before last a very important meeting was
held of the Shades of the illustrious men buried
in the Cathedral, and also of those whose ashes
night before he received his death-wound he had read and got by
heart the very beautiful elegy by Mr. Gray. Therefore, in the most
respectful—Day, in the most affectionate spirit, he would co-operate
with the gallant admiral in his own fine, tarpaulin phrase, to overhaul
the parsons.
Admiral Lord Colli ngwood observed that, to speak the truth,
he did not think sailors and soldiers bad any business at all in
otherwise bestowed, have nevertheless monu- Cathedrals ("Hear hear," from the two services.) Fighting had
ments erected to their memory in the sacred
edifice. Your reporter, having strolled into the
Cathedral to refresh his architectural taste, for
been their trade ; and they had done their best. Nevertheless, he did
not think that the true odour of Christianity was to be found in gun-
powder ; or that the Army of Martyrs meant soldiers with guns and
which he duly paid twopence at the door, was, j Janets and forty-two pounders The Church Militant was not in
whilst indulging in a profound sleep—caused
by circumstances too minute to enumerate—
locked in. He awoke as the bell tolled twelve.
Immediately, he perceived that all the monu-
ments were in motion. Doctor Donne walked
out of his urn, and gracefully folding nis
winding-sheet about him, stept with great
dignity. Lord Duncan sheathed his sword,
and adjusted his boat-cloak. Sir Ealph
his opinion, a Church with Bail-Cartridge. However, as they had
been placed there, he felt in common witt his friends the indignity
put upon them by the Twopence, and would heartily co-operate for
its abolition.
Here the meeting became very noisy. Mr. John Opie, E.A.,
began to speak—when he was interrupted by Fuseli, who stamped
and foamed at the mouth, and made very free indeed with "the par-
sons." He observed, it had been said of him that " his domain was
air and hell ; the clouds and the grave. It was he who made real and
Abercrombie rose from the arms of the i ™lble ^ vague and unsubstantial phantoms which haunt, like dim
Highland soldier who has for so many years supported him; and i dreams, the oppressed imagmation If tins were true-and he, for
Nelson stept from his pedestal. Britannia herself giving him her one, could not deny it-• he would advise trie parsons to look out for
hand as he descended. Sir Christopher Wren came from the crypt, themselves He would not be shown hue a dancing bear , he would
majestic and venerable in his looks of 91. In a word, all the worthies
of St. Paul's were in motion, and it wTa3 plain that there was some
important business in hand. The church was beautifully lighted as
not—" (and then he swore).
Hereupon Doctor Johnson moved that the meeting should dissolve :
and, after certain formalities, the meeting was dissolved accordingly.
by a July sun ; and the organ pealed forth a magnificent voluntarv. !lb beiDf understood that the Dean and Chapter should be firmly and
As it ceased I heard a heavy tread, and, lookiog round, saw Doctor ; respectfully remonstrated with, that they might discontinue the
Johnson, holding up his robes, certainly not with the grace of hi8 | twopence , and that, in the event of their contumacious denial, the
friend Garrick, and shaking his head and scroll, and gesticulating Ghosts1 of ^ Statues should take it in turn to make midnight calls
very oddly. All the other Shades bowed to him ; and then there was on^ch »nd ^ of the reverend tody,
a general hush. Sir Christopher Wren was unanimously called vThls determination seemed to give great pleasure to the naval
upon to preside. Who, indeed, so fitting ? 8h°sts \ and lord nei-s°*> sheathing his sword, again mounted to his
Sir Christopher opened the proceedings.-Brother Shades, we Pedestal, muttering something about " overhauling the parsons/
have by one general impulse been moved to this gathering. For
many years have our spirits been tormented by the rattling of half-
pence and the ringing of sixpences and shillings taken and changed An old jQ^e newly Applied
at the Cathedral door, that we may be shown as they show the lions j
in the Tower, or the dromedary and monkey and dancing bears in the I Irish Landlord. Please bestow a trifle on a poor landlord,
street. By my troth, worthy friends, when I built this Cathedral I ] John BuU- 1 haven't anything for you, my good man.
deemed it" was to be dedicated to a purpose of holiness, and not for Iruh Landlord Please do, that's a noble gentleman—our estates are
the lucre of money-changers. ('< Hear," from Doctor Johnson.) goin^ta rjjck and rum. I and my blessed family haven t tasted turtle
When I look about me and see the awful representatives of philo- , ^X^i.p'oor fellows ! I quite bleed for them. Here, my fine
sophers, and divines, and heroes, I do feel that their moral dignity is fellow> here>s a trifle_it>s all L have about me (gives Mm Jsixteen
insulted and made a byword, when, like the beasts at Bartlemy Fair, j muuom^ . but raind> t don't give it. I look upon it as a debt, which,
they are shown for shillings. Our object, I believe, is to remonstrate i understand, you owe me_
with the Dean and Chapter, who, if their hearts are not to be turned ■ Irish Landlord {pocketing the money). And may your honour live till
from halfpence by our prayers, must be further dealt with as to us I repay you !
shall seem fit and meet.
Doctor Johnson proposed the first resolution. The great architect
—the father, he might say, of that tremendous edifice, that, in the
words of a great and good man, though he was sorry to say he was a
Dissenter, that tremendous edifice that would " strike awe into a bac-
chanal"—Sir Christopher had well delineated the humiliation to
which they were spiritually subjected by the pecuniary gulosity of
the ecclesiastical authorities. Let them, however, be incorporate and
unanimous, and the degrading Twopence must pass away with other
mortuary and sublunary abuses. They must now do something ;
they must not, as he had observed on another occasion, re-act the old
fable, showing to the expectant world that parturient mountains, with
all their heaving, only produced muscipular abortions.
Lord Nelson said the whole Dean and Chapter wanted a thorough
overhauling*" A good many of them were, in his opinion, a set of
lubbers that—(Cries of " Order, order !" from Doctors Donne and
Johnson)—Well, for his part, he had no wish to offend the parsons ;
but he did not think that Mother Church ought to higgle and haggle very considerate.
with halfpence—for all the world like a bum-boat woman selling soft I Monsieur Gtjizot kindly told us in the Chamber of Deputies that
tommy. Besides, if money was to be taken—if they were all to be ''France has no intention of turning the Mediterranean into a French
made a show of—like Mrs. Salmon's wax-work that he remembered \ lake." He should have extended the information a little further, and
when a boy,—why not have the thing done plain and above-board ? have told us that France has no thoughts just at present of making
Why didn't the Dean and Chapter always have a signal flying with • England her Botany Bay.
" St. Paul's expects every man to pay his twopence ? " In conclusion,
the gallant Earl observed (with a slight oath) that he was ready to the perpetual motion.
do anything to overhaul the parsons. We have not heard anything of the " Perpetual Motion " this year.
General Wolfe said he had a great respect for the Church, and We mean the motion Avhich Mr. Brotherton brings forward every
all Church associations. It might not be generally known ; but the , Session of adjourning the House at twelve o'clock.
angels' visits.
The Observer, in finding fault with one of Etty's pictures, says :—
" Such an angel Avas never seen in Heaven." One would imagine, from
the confident tone of the critic, that he had only just returned from a
long visit there.
To Spirited Capitalists.
WANTED TO BOKROW.—A series of small sums, or a million or
two, upon a bona-f.de debt of £00,000,000, exclusive of interest, owing by
the British Government to Ireland. Any gentleman of a speculative turn of mind
and extensive capital will find this a most desirable investment, as the debt has
been satisfactorily proved, and the accounts are at present before Parliament previous
to their final settlement. For further particulars, apply to Mr. John O'Connell,
Old Palace Yard, or any Irish Landlord.
83
GREAT TWOPENNY MEETING AT ST. PAUL'S.
\_From. oar own Correspondent, who was locked in.~]
night before last a very important meeting was
held of the Shades of the illustrious men buried
in the Cathedral, and also of those whose ashes
night before he received his death-wound he had read and got by
heart the very beautiful elegy by Mr. Gray. Therefore, in the most
respectful—Day, in the most affectionate spirit, he would co-operate
with the gallant admiral in his own fine, tarpaulin phrase, to overhaul
the parsons.
Admiral Lord Colli ngwood observed that, to speak the truth,
he did not think sailors and soldiers bad any business at all in
otherwise bestowed, have nevertheless monu- Cathedrals ("Hear hear," from the two services.) Fighting had
ments erected to their memory in the sacred
edifice. Your reporter, having strolled into the
Cathedral to refresh his architectural taste, for
been their trade ; and they had done their best. Nevertheless, he did
not think that the true odour of Christianity was to be found in gun-
powder ; or that the Army of Martyrs meant soldiers with guns and
which he duly paid twopence at the door, was, j Janets and forty-two pounders The Church Militant was not in
whilst indulging in a profound sleep—caused
by circumstances too minute to enumerate—
locked in. He awoke as the bell tolled twelve.
Immediately, he perceived that all the monu-
ments were in motion. Doctor Donne walked
out of his urn, and gracefully folding nis
winding-sheet about him, stept with great
dignity. Lord Duncan sheathed his sword,
and adjusted his boat-cloak. Sir Ealph
his opinion, a Church with Bail-Cartridge. However, as they had
been placed there, he felt in common witt his friends the indignity
put upon them by the Twopence, and would heartily co-operate for
its abolition.
Here the meeting became very noisy. Mr. John Opie, E.A.,
began to speak—when he was interrupted by Fuseli, who stamped
and foamed at the mouth, and made very free indeed with "the par-
sons." He observed, it had been said of him that " his domain was
air and hell ; the clouds and the grave. It was he who made real and
Abercrombie rose from the arms of the i ™lble ^ vague and unsubstantial phantoms which haunt, like dim
Highland soldier who has for so many years supported him; and i dreams, the oppressed imagmation If tins were true-and he, for
Nelson stept from his pedestal. Britannia herself giving him her one, could not deny it-• he would advise trie parsons to look out for
hand as he descended. Sir Christopher Wren came from the crypt, themselves He would not be shown hue a dancing bear , he would
majestic and venerable in his looks of 91. In a word, all the worthies
of St. Paul's were in motion, and it wTa3 plain that there was some
important business in hand. The church was beautifully lighted as
not—" (and then he swore).
Hereupon Doctor Johnson moved that the meeting should dissolve :
and, after certain formalities, the meeting was dissolved accordingly.
by a July sun ; and the organ pealed forth a magnificent voluntarv. !lb beiDf understood that the Dean and Chapter should be firmly and
As it ceased I heard a heavy tread, and, lookiog round, saw Doctor ; respectfully remonstrated with, that they might discontinue the
Johnson, holding up his robes, certainly not with the grace of hi8 | twopence , and that, in the event of their contumacious denial, the
friend Garrick, and shaking his head and scroll, and gesticulating Ghosts1 of ^ Statues should take it in turn to make midnight calls
very oddly. All the other Shades bowed to him ; and then there was on^ch »nd ^ of the reverend tody,
a general hush. Sir Christopher Wren was unanimously called vThls determination seemed to give great pleasure to the naval
upon to preside. Who, indeed, so fitting ? 8h°sts \ and lord nei-s°*> sheathing his sword, again mounted to his
Sir Christopher opened the proceedings.-Brother Shades, we Pedestal, muttering something about " overhauling the parsons/
have by one general impulse been moved to this gathering. For
many years have our spirits been tormented by the rattling of half-
pence and the ringing of sixpences and shillings taken and changed An old jQ^e newly Applied
at the Cathedral door, that we may be shown as they show the lions j
in the Tower, or the dromedary and monkey and dancing bears in the I Irish Landlord. Please bestow a trifle on a poor landlord,
street. By my troth, worthy friends, when I built this Cathedral I ] John BuU- 1 haven't anything for you, my good man.
deemed it" was to be dedicated to a purpose of holiness, and not for Iruh Landlord Please do, that's a noble gentleman—our estates are
the lucre of money-changers. ('< Hear," from Doctor Johnson.) goin^ta rjjck and rum. I and my blessed family haven t tasted turtle
When I look about me and see the awful representatives of philo- , ^X^i.p'oor fellows ! I quite bleed for them. Here, my fine
sophers, and divines, and heroes, I do feel that their moral dignity is fellow> here>s a trifle_it>s all L have about me (gives Mm Jsixteen
insulted and made a byword, when, like the beasts at Bartlemy Fair, j muuom^ . but raind> t don't give it. I look upon it as a debt, which,
they are shown for shillings. Our object, I believe, is to remonstrate i understand, you owe me_
with the Dean and Chapter, who, if their hearts are not to be turned ■ Irish Landlord {pocketing the money). And may your honour live till
from halfpence by our prayers, must be further dealt with as to us I repay you !
shall seem fit and meet.
Doctor Johnson proposed the first resolution. The great architect
—the father, he might say, of that tremendous edifice, that, in the
words of a great and good man, though he was sorry to say he was a
Dissenter, that tremendous edifice that would " strike awe into a bac-
chanal"—Sir Christopher had well delineated the humiliation to
which they were spiritually subjected by the pecuniary gulosity of
the ecclesiastical authorities. Let them, however, be incorporate and
unanimous, and the degrading Twopence must pass away with other
mortuary and sublunary abuses. They must now do something ;
they must not, as he had observed on another occasion, re-act the old
fable, showing to the expectant world that parturient mountains, with
all their heaving, only produced muscipular abortions.
Lord Nelson said the whole Dean and Chapter wanted a thorough
overhauling*" A good many of them were, in his opinion, a set of
lubbers that—(Cries of " Order, order !" from Doctors Donne and
Johnson)—Well, for his part, he had no wish to offend the parsons ;
but he did not think that Mother Church ought to higgle and haggle very considerate.
with halfpence—for all the world like a bum-boat woman selling soft I Monsieur Gtjizot kindly told us in the Chamber of Deputies that
tommy. Besides, if money was to be taken—if they were all to be ''France has no intention of turning the Mediterranean into a French
made a show of—like Mrs. Salmon's wax-work that he remembered \ lake." He should have extended the information a little further, and
when a boy,—why not have the thing done plain and above-board ? have told us that France has no thoughts just at present of making
Why didn't the Dean and Chapter always have a signal flying with • England her Botany Bay.
" St. Paul's expects every man to pay his twopence ? " In conclusion,
the gallant Earl observed (with a slight oath) that he was ready to the perpetual motion.
do anything to overhaul the parsons. We have not heard anything of the " Perpetual Motion " this year.
General Wolfe said he had a great respect for the Church, and We mean the motion Avhich Mr. Brotherton brings forward every
all Church associations. It might not be generally known ; but the , Session of adjourning the House at twelve o'clock.
angels' visits.
The Observer, in finding fault with one of Etty's pictures, says :—
" Such an angel Avas never seen in Heaven." One would imagine, from
the confident tone of the critic, that he had only just returned from a
long visit there.
To Spirited Capitalists.
WANTED TO BOKROW.—A series of small sums, or a million or
two, upon a bona-f.de debt of £00,000,000, exclusive of interest, owing by
the British Government to Ireland. Any gentleman of a speculative turn of mind
and extensive capital will find this a most desirable investment, as the debt has
been satisfactorily proved, and the accounts are at present before Parliament previous
to their final settlement. For further particulars, apply to Mr. John O'Connell,
Old Palace Yard, or any Irish Landlord.