DOI issue:
January to June, 1847
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16544#0118
108 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
THE PATENT MILE INDEX CAB,
Fare. "Hallo, Driver ! Here ! I have only gone from St, Paul's to Fleet Street, and the dial points to turee miles !"
Driver. " Can't help it, Sir. You must pay accordin'."
THE MODERN WILLIAM TELL.
1 H9raw<tttc Jrcmr.
principal characters.
William Tell ..... Mtstkr Punch.
Sarnem- ... . . Profksmir Wheivell,
Michael ..... Barox IVi.lock.
Vcrner (a friend of Tell, . Lord Nki .son.
Scene.—Cambridge. Several under-graduates and a mob of University-
mcn are discovered looking out with intense eagerness.
Ferner (Nelson). Stay, William ! Now
Observe the people.
[The people are gathered up to one side, looking out with great anxiety.
Tell (Punch). Ha ! they please me now,
The humbugs !
Vcrner (Nelson). We shall see.
Tell (Punch). 'Tis Sarnem (Whewell.)
Vemer (Nelson). What's that he brings with him ?
A po'.e ! and on the top of it a hat,
That looks like Albert's—I could pick it from
A hundred.
Tell (Ponch). So could L My stomach oft
Heaves at the sight of it. What comes he now
To do ?
Enter Sarnem (Whewell), with Proctors bull-dogs, bearing (he Albert
hat on a pole, which he fixes into the ground.
Sarnem (Wheweu). Ye Snobs of Cambridge !
Behold the emblem of great Albert's power
And dignity ! This is the hat of Albert,
Your Governor ; let all bow down to it
Who owe him love and loyalty. To such
As shall refuse this lawful homage, or
Accord it sullenly, I show no grace,
But doom them to the weight of my displeasure,
To teach them better. 'Tis do less their gain
Than duty to obey their master's mandate.
Conduct the Snobs, then, hither, one by one,
To bow to Albert's hat.
Tell (Punch). Have I my hearing ?
[Members of the University pass from side to side, taking off their caps
and bowing to the Albert hat as they pass.
Or sight ? They do it, Verner (Nelson),
They do it! Look ! Ne'er call me man again.
I'll herd w ith poor old Toby ;****»
Look ! look ! Have I the outline of that spooney
Who to the Albert hat doth bend his head ?
Vcrner ( Nelson). Away, before they mark us.
Tell (Punch). No, no ! Since I've tasted
I '11 e'en feed on.
Enter Michael (Pollock) through the crowd.
Sarnem (Whewell). Bow, Fred.
Michael (Pollock). For what ?
Sarnem (Whewell). Bow first, and question then.
Michael (Pollock). I'll question now, and p'rhaps not bow at alL
Tell (Punch). A trump, a trump !
Sarnem (Whewell). 'Tis Whewell's will that all
Bow to that hat.
Michael (Pollock). Were it his lady's cap
I'd curtsey to it.
Sarnem (Whewell). Do you mock us, friend ?
Michael (Pollock). Not £ I'll bow to Albert, if you please ;
But not his hat, nor hat of any he
In Christendom.
Tell (Punch). A trump ! I say a trump !
Sarnem (Whewell.) Frederick, bow to Albert's hat.
Michael (Pollock). No, not to Albert's self.
Sarnem (Whewell). Seize him !
[Tell (Punch) rushing forward, gives Sarnem (Whewell) a rap
on the knuckles, who rushes off howling. Throws down the pole.
Tramples on the Albert hat, and strikes an attitude.
A. Legal Qualification.
It is a mistake to say that Prince Albert is not duly qualified to
be a Bencher of Lincoln's Inn. His late statement of the "gratifica-
tion it gave him to accept" an honour which was not unanimously
conferred upon him (and which upon that account he had before de-
clined), proves that, since he has swallowed his statements, he has at
all events " eaten his terms."
THE PATENT MILE INDEX CAB,
Fare. "Hallo, Driver ! Here ! I have only gone from St, Paul's to Fleet Street, and the dial points to turee miles !"
Driver. " Can't help it, Sir. You must pay accordin'."
THE MODERN WILLIAM TELL.
1 H9raw<tttc Jrcmr.
principal characters.
William Tell ..... Mtstkr Punch.
Sarnem- ... . . Profksmir Wheivell,
Michael ..... Barox IVi.lock.
Vcrner (a friend of Tell, . Lord Nki .son.
Scene.—Cambridge. Several under-graduates and a mob of University-
mcn are discovered looking out with intense eagerness.
Ferner (Nelson). Stay, William ! Now
Observe the people.
[The people are gathered up to one side, looking out with great anxiety.
Tell (Punch). Ha ! they please me now,
The humbugs !
Vcrner (Nelson). We shall see.
Tell (Punch). 'Tis Sarnem (Whewell.)
Vemer (Nelson). What's that he brings with him ?
A po'.e ! and on the top of it a hat,
That looks like Albert's—I could pick it from
A hundred.
Tell (Ponch). So could L My stomach oft
Heaves at the sight of it. What comes he now
To do ?
Enter Sarnem (Whewell), with Proctors bull-dogs, bearing (he Albert
hat on a pole, which he fixes into the ground.
Sarnem (Wheweu). Ye Snobs of Cambridge !
Behold the emblem of great Albert's power
And dignity ! This is the hat of Albert,
Your Governor ; let all bow down to it
Who owe him love and loyalty. To such
As shall refuse this lawful homage, or
Accord it sullenly, I show no grace,
But doom them to the weight of my displeasure,
To teach them better. 'Tis do less their gain
Than duty to obey their master's mandate.
Conduct the Snobs, then, hither, one by one,
To bow to Albert's hat.
Tell (Punch). Have I my hearing ?
[Members of the University pass from side to side, taking off their caps
and bowing to the Albert hat as they pass.
Or sight ? They do it, Verner (Nelson),
They do it! Look ! Ne'er call me man again.
I'll herd w ith poor old Toby ;****»
Look ! look ! Have I the outline of that spooney
Who to the Albert hat doth bend his head ?
Vcrner ( Nelson). Away, before they mark us.
Tell (Punch). No, no ! Since I've tasted
I '11 e'en feed on.
Enter Michael (Pollock) through the crowd.
Sarnem (Whewell). Bow, Fred.
Michael (Pollock). For what ?
Sarnem (Whewell). Bow first, and question then.
Michael (Pollock). I'll question now, and p'rhaps not bow at alL
Tell (Punch). A trump, a trump !
Sarnem (Whewell). 'Tis Whewell's will that all
Bow to that hat.
Michael (Pollock). Were it his lady's cap
I'd curtsey to it.
Sarnem (Whewell). Do you mock us, friend ?
Michael (Pollock). Not £ I'll bow to Albert, if you please ;
But not his hat, nor hat of any he
In Christendom.
Tell (Punch). A trump ! I say a trump !
Sarnem (Whewell.) Frederick, bow to Albert's hat.
Michael (Pollock). No, not to Albert's self.
Sarnem (Whewell). Seize him !
[Tell (Punch) rushing forward, gives Sarnem (Whewell) a rap
on the knuckles, who rushes off howling. Throws down the pole.
Tramples on the Albert hat, and strikes an attitude.
A. Legal Qualification.
It is a mistake to say that Prince Albert is not duly qualified to
be a Bencher of Lincoln's Inn. His late statement of the "gratifica-
tion it gave him to accept" an honour which was not unanimously
conferred upon him (and which upon that account he had before de-
clined), proves that, since he has swallowed his statements, he has at
all events " eaten his terms."