DOI Heft:
January to June, 1847
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16544#0131
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
121
Field-Marshal am I, Merchant-Tailor, and Hatter,
The army I've fitted quite to a T ;
Cambridge—of course 'twas from no wish to flatter—
Makes me her Chancellor—not a small matter.
La la la la, &c.
Oh, what a time of it i Isn't it glorious
Popular Prince such as I am to be ?
Bravo, Prince Albert! Oh, Bravo. Bravisskno I
Generalissimo soon they '11 make me.
All are imploring me, not to say boring me,
Bishops and rectors—railway projectors—
Begging and praying I would be laying
Stones for foundations of churches and stations.
" Prince Albert! Prince Albert! Prince Albert! Prince Albert!
Prince Albert! Prince Albert! Prince Albert! Prince Albert!
Prince Albert! Prince Albert!"
Dear me, what a bother with one and another !
One at a time, good folks, let it be.
** Prince Albert!" I'm here. " Prince Albert! " I'm there.
Prince Albert there, Prince Albert here,
Prince Albert, Prince Albert, everywhere,
Prince Albert high, Prince Albert low,
Prince Albert low, Prince Albert low.
Round about, out and iu, quicker than Harlequin,
Never was known a factotum like me.
Bravo, Prince Albert ! Oh, Bravo, Bravissimo !
Soon will they make thee a generalissimo !
Fortune will ne'er look coldly on thee,
Such a factotum did man ever see ?
THE "KINDNESS" OF BIGOTRY: WITH A FABLE.
CHIMNEY-SWEEPS AND MAY-DAY.
vert interesting meeting of individuals who
were brought up as chimney-sweepers, was
held yesterday at the Shovel and Brush, Seven
Dials, to take into consideration necessary
measures for the protection of what one of the
speakers emphatically called " the wested
rights of the Sveep's May-day." The indi-
viduals had been educated for chimneys, but
were now humble tradesmen.
Mr. William Bunkham—dealer in hearth-
stones—was called to the stool, and addressed
the meeting. He said things was come to a
pretty pass, when the May-day sveep was to
ide his ed as if ashamed of the visdom of is
hancestors. He didn't know what they'd
make o' May-day next ; he 'sposed they
wouldn't let the awthorns bloom nor the birds
vis tie ; for to prevent the English sveep—the lord and the lady o' May
—bavin their constitootional dance was a blow at the rites of the
subject. (Cheers.) He vos not a sveep then, but the time vos ven he
vos von , and—(here Mr. Bunkham drew his cuff across his eyes)—
he could never forget it. (Cheers.) He spoke for sveeps present and
sveeps futuv, and said, if they vanted to dance, they must boldly stand
up for it. They were grudged the apence that they forced the people
to give 'em as their rights ; but he told the government that they
ivduld have 'em. (Cheers.)
Mr. Bumblepuppy did not believe that the Qoeen was agin the
chimbley-sveepers dance o' May-day. He read the noospapers, 'specially
the pictur ones ; and if he was wrong, he should like to be put right,
for he warn't above learning ; and he remembered a pictur where
Queen Elizabeth with Henry the Eighth, who arterwards cut off
her ed—(Great cheering.)—when both on 'em went on May-day, drest
In the debate on the refusal of sites for Scotch Churches, Sir Robert | as my lord and my lady, and danced at the top of Shooter's ILL If he,
Inglis—with his usual liberality—contended that there was no need of
Free Kirks ; why could not the people go to the Established Church ?
There was room enough.
Sir Robert is allowed to be, on all hands, a most humane, most ex-
cellent person : and he has only to rise in Parliament, and to utter
some preposterous piece of moral and religious bigotry, to be imme-
diately complimented upon the abounding loving-kindness of his dis-
position. How is this ? Is he one of those proverbially noisy animals,
whose bow-wow is worse than their bite ? How is it, that folks will
not take him at his word ? He drops gall, and the House declares
there's no bitterness whatever in the Honourable Baronet; on the con-
trary, he is like a bee-hive, when all the bees are from home, there's
not a single sting within him, and he is full of honey. Now " rhubarb's
rhubarb," call it what you will. A gentleness of outside is not the
least to be respected. We would rather feel the prickles of a hedgehog
than the bite of a beaver. But this exceeding mildness of bigotry
reminds us of a fable.
Once upon a time, on the kitchen dresser of a certain bishop (a bishop
of the good old times, and a very mild advocate of pitched shirts and
faggots) there lay two Thames flounders ; they were larger then than
now, for, of course, as the world gets wickeder and wickeder, flounders
get smaller and smaller—especially in the Thames. Well, the cook
comes to the flounders as they lay with their tails curled like Beauty's
lip before him. "By my fackins ! " says the cook, "I have not enow
of oil to fry ye both ; so I must even cook one of you with nasty fat.
Now," continued the cook, ruminating, "which of ye shall I fry with
the fat, and which with the oil ?" Whereupon the bigger flounder,
frisking its tail, said, " Marry, Master Cook, since it is even so, and as
thou sayest I must to the fire at last, why what doth it matter whether
I am fried with the coarsest fat or with the mildest oil ? "
Moral (for Parliament).—The " kindest" of bigots insist upon
frying ; but then they are so kind, so smooth, so gentle, they fry only
with oil
(Ms. Bumblepuppy) was known at all, he was known as a man who
always thought woman as much the softer sex, and treated her as sich.
Well, then, he begged to perpose a petition to the Queen, for the
continiation of wested rights of the Chimbley-Sveepers' dance on the
fust of May. (Cheering.)
Mr. Threeouts, pot-boy, seconded the motion. He was the
reader of the Dispatch, and rayther know'd how the cat jumped. Then,
if the Queen thought to dare—(Cries of " Order," " Chair/") Where-
upon the Chairman mildly interfered ; Mr. Threeouts bowed, and
with a sarcastic smile, full of treason as the thirty-six volumes of
State Trials, said — they know'd what he meant. Well, he would
say this—that Jack-in-the-Green was the brightest wreath on the
brow of majesty—if he must say Majesty. They had been tvitted—
yes, tvitted—because with a ladle they axed, while they danced for
money. (Hear.) He should like to know whether the Chancellor-of-
the-Checkers every session of Parliament—if it could be called a
Parliament in which the people had no voice—didn't ax for money
too. (Loud cheering.) Only there was jest this difference : the one
that axed for money was the Ladle of the People—and the other
the Spoon o' the Government! ( Vociferous cheering.) Because the little
Princes and Princesses didn't know what it was to dance only once a
year—was that any reason they shouldn't dance at all ? (Hear.)
Wasn't a May-day sveep a man—he meant, a boy ? (Loud applause.)
He would repeat it; Jack-in-the-Green was the brightest leaf in the
Queen's chaplain ; pluck that leaf away, and he for one—he was
quite serious ; never more so—he for one could not answer for what
might foller.
The motion was then agreed to ; and the petition subsequently
drawn out. It now lies on the table of the Shovel and Brush for
signatures.
A Female library.
The IKontem Poor-Box.
Among other arguments in favour of the abolition of Eton Montem.,
it has been urged that the little subscription collected, on the occasion,
A bibliomaniac died on the 3rd ult., at Padua, who had collected for the "Captain," can be of no consequence to a young gentleman of
32,000 volumes, all written by female authors. We have seen the
catalogue, and are able to give our readers the following details :—
Woman's Mission ,........ 12,090 vols.
What is the True Position of Woman ?..... 1,780
The Rights of Woman........ 10,273 j
The Wrongs of Man.........3,615 ,,
Woman the Regenerator........ 1,733 ,,
The Female Mind......... 1,063
The above seem to be the principal subjects upon which the female
authors have exhausted their voluminous eloquence. Singular to say,
the collection is rather weak in fashionable novels. We need not tell
our readers that the works of Mrs. Gore, for instance, are not
included in a library which consists only of 32,000 volumes.
his station in society. We must protest against this statement. Eton,
by its statutes—which, of course, have never been violated,—is an
institution appointed for educating " poor and indigent scholars," by
whom, of course, the smallest contributions will always be thankfully
received.
"a king and no king.
The poor King of Spain is crying out already for a divorce. It is a
pity that the Comte de Paris is not a little older, for Louis-Philippe
might favour the King's Divorce, and then marry the Queen op Spain
to the future King of France. Those Pyrenees must be sadly in the
way of France !
121
Field-Marshal am I, Merchant-Tailor, and Hatter,
The army I've fitted quite to a T ;
Cambridge—of course 'twas from no wish to flatter—
Makes me her Chancellor—not a small matter.
La la la la, &c.
Oh, what a time of it i Isn't it glorious
Popular Prince such as I am to be ?
Bravo, Prince Albert! Oh, Bravo. Bravisskno I
Generalissimo soon they '11 make me.
All are imploring me, not to say boring me,
Bishops and rectors—railway projectors—
Begging and praying I would be laying
Stones for foundations of churches and stations.
" Prince Albert! Prince Albert! Prince Albert! Prince Albert!
Prince Albert! Prince Albert! Prince Albert! Prince Albert!
Prince Albert! Prince Albert!"
Dear me, what a bother with one and another !
One at a time, good folks, let it be.
** Prince Albert!" I'm here. " Prince Albert! " I'm there.
Prince Albert there, Prince Albert here,
Prince Albert, Prince Albert, everywhere,
Prince Albert high, Prince Albert low,
Prince Albert low, Prince Albert low.
Round about, out and iu, quicker than Harlequin,
Never was known a factotum like me.
Bravo, Prince Albert ! Oh, Bravo, Bravissimo !
Soon will they make thee a generalissimo !
Fortune will ne'er look coldly on thee,
Such a factotum did man ever see ?
THE "KINDNESS" OF BIGOTRY: WITH A FABLE.
CHIMNEY-SWEEPS AND MAY-DAY.
vert interesting meeting of individuals who
were brought up as chimney-sweepers, was
held yesterday at the Shovel and Brush, Seven
Dials, to take into consideration necessary
measures for the protection of what one of the
speakers emphatically called " the wested
rights of the Sveep's May-day." The indi-
viduals had been educated for chimneys, but
were now humble tradesmen.
Mr. William Bunkham—dealer in hearth-
stones—was called to the stool, and addressed
the meeting. He said things was come to a
pretty pass, when the May-day sveep was to
ide his ed as if ashamed of the visdom of is
hancestors. He didn't know what they'd
make o' May-day next ; he 'sposed they
wouldn't let the awthorns bloom nor the birds
vis tie ; for to prevent the English sveep—the lord and the lady o' May
—bavin their constitootional dance was a blow at the rites of the
subject. (Cheers.) He vos not a sveep then, but the time vos ven he
vos von , and—(here Mr. Bunkham drew his cuff across his eyes)—
he could never forget it. (Cheers.) He spoke for sveeps present and
sveeps futuv, and said, if they vanted to dance, they must boldly stand
up for it. They were grudged the apence that they forced the people
to give 'em as their rights ; but he told the government that they
ivduld have 'em. (Cheers.)
Mr. Bumblepuppy did not believe that the Qoeen was agin the
chimbley-sveepers dance o' May-day. He read the noospapers, 'specially
the pictur ones ; and if he was wrong, he should like to be put right,
for he warn't above learning ; and he remembered a pictur where
Queen Elizabeth with Henry the Eighth, who arterwards cut off
her ed—(Great cheering.)—when both on 'em went on May-day, drest
In the debate on the refusal of sites for Scotch Churches, Sir Robert | as my lord and my lady, and danced at the top of Shooter's ILL If he,
Inglis—with his usual liberality—contended that there was no need of
Free Kirks ; why could not the people go to the Established Church ?
There was room enough.
Sir Robert is allowed to be, on all hands, a most humane, most ex-
cellent person : and he has only to rise in Parliament, and to utter
some preposterous piece of moral and religious bigotry, to be imme-
diately complimented upon the abounding loving-kindness of his dis-
position. How is this ? Is he one of those proverbially noisy animals,
whose bow-wow is worse than their bite ? How is it, that folks will
not take him at his word ? He drops gall, and the House declares
there's no bitterness whatever in the Honourable Baronet; on the con-
trary, he is like a bee-hive, when all the bees are from home, there's
not a single sting within him, and he is full of honey. Now " rhubarb's
rhubarb," call it what you will. A gentleness of outside is not the
least to be respected. We would rather feel the prickles of a hedgehog
than the bite of a beaver. But this exceeding mildness of bigotry
reminds us of a fable.
Once upon a time, on the kitchen dresser of a certain bishop (a bishop
of the good old times, and a very mild advocate of pitched shirts and
faggots) there lay two Thames flounders ; they were larger then than
now, for, of course, as the world gets wickeder and wickeder, flounders
get smaller and smaller—especially in the Thames. Well, the cook
comes to the flounders as they lay with their tails curled like Beauty's
lip before him. "By my fackins ! " says the cook, "I have not enow
of oil to fry ye both ; so I must even cook one of you with nasty fat.
Now," continued the cook, ruminating, "which of ye shall I fry with
the fat, and which with the oil ?" Whereupon the bigger flounder,
frisking its tail, said, " Marry, Master Cook, since it is even so, and as
thou sayest I must to the fire at last, why what doth it matter whether
I am fried with the coarsest fat or with the mildest oil ? "
Moral (for Parliament).—The " kindest" of bigots insist upon
frying ; but then they are so kind, so smooth, so gentle, they fry only
with oil
(Ms. Bumblepuppy) was known at all, he was known as a man who
always thought woman as much the softer sex, and treated her as sich.
Well, then, he begged to perpose a petition to the Queen, for the
continiation of wested rights of the Chimbley-Sveepers' dance on the
fust of May. (Cheering.)
Mr. Threeouts, pot-boy, seconded the motion. He was the
reader of the Dispatch, and rayther know'd how the cat jumped. Then,
if the Queen thought to dare—(Cries of " Order," " Chair/") Where-
upon the Chairman mildly interfered ; Mr. Threeouts bowed, and
with a sarcastic smile, full of treason as the thirty-six volumes of
State Trials, said — they know'd what he meant. Well, he would
say this—that Jack-in-the-Green was the brightest wreath on the
brow of majesty—if he must say Majesty. They had been tvitted—
yes, tvitted—because with a ladle they axed, while they danced for
money. (Hear.) He should like to know whether the Chancellor-of-
the-Checkers every session of Parliament—if it could be called a
Parliament in which the people had no voice—didn't ax for money
too. (Loud cheering.) Only there was jest this difference : the one
that axed for money was the Ladle of the People—and the other
the Spoon o' the Government! ( Vociferous cheering.) Because the little
Princes and Princesses didn't know what it was to dance only once a
year—was that any reason they shouldn't dance at all ? (Hear.)
Wasn't a May-day sveep a man—he meant, a boy ? (Loud applause.)
He would repeat it; Jack-in-the-Green was the brightest leaf in the
Queen's chaplain ; pluck that leaf away, and he for one—he was
quite serious ; never more so—he for one could not answer for what
might foller.
The motion was then agreed to ; and the petition subsequently
drawn out. It now lies on the table of the Shovel and Brush for
signatures.
A Female library.
The IKontem Poor-Box.
Among other arguments in favour of the abolition of Eton Montem.,
it has been urged that the little subscription collected, on the occasion,
A bibliomaniac died on the 3rd ult., at Padua, who had collected for the "Captain," can be of no consequence to a young gentleman of
32,000 volumes, all written by female authors. We have seen the
catalogue, and are able to give our readers the following details :—
Woman's Mission ,........ 12,090 vols.
What is the True Position of Woman ?..... 1,780
The Rights of Woman........ 10,273 j
The Wrongs of Man.........3,615 ,,
Woman the Regenerator........ 1,733 ,,
The Female Mind......... 1,063
The above seem to be the principal subjects upon which the female
authors have exhausted their voluminous eloquence. Singular to say,
the collection is rather weak in fashionable novels. We need not tell
our readers that the works of Mrs. Gore, for instance, are not
included in a library which consists only of 32,000 volumes.
his station in society. We must protest against this statement. Eton,
by its statutes—which, of course, have never been violated,—is an
institution appointed for educating " poor and indigent scholars," by
whom, of course, the smallest contributions will always be thankfully
received.
"a king and no king.
The poor King of Spain is crying out already for a divorce. It is a
pity that the Comte de Paris is not a little older, for Louis-Philippe
might favour the King's Divorce, and then marry the Queen op Spain
to the future King of France. Those Pyrenees must be sadly in the
way of France !