DOI issue:
January to June, 1847
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16544#0147
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
137
milk has refreshed the traveller and perplexed the natural philosopher.
The shop in question was, in a word, a Grocer's.
In the midst of the shop and its gorgeous contents sate one who, to
judge from his appearance (though 'twas a difficult task, as, in sooth,
his back was turned), had just reached that happy period of life when
the Boy is expanding into the Man. 0 Youth, Youth ! Happy and
Beautiful ! 0 fresh and roseate dawn of life ; when the dew yet lies
on the flowers, ere they have been scorched and withered by Passion's
fiery Sun ! Immersed in thought or study, and indifferent to the din
around him, sate the Boy. A careless guardian was he of the treasures
confided to him. The crowd passed in Chepe ; he never marked it.
The sun shone on Chepe ; he only asked that it should illumine the
page he read. The knave might filch his treasures, he was heedless
of the knave. The customer might enter ; but his book was all in all
to him.
And indeed a customer was there ; a little hand was tapping on the
counter with a pretty impatience ; a pair of arch eyes were gazing at
the Boy, admiring, perhaps, his manly proportions through the homely
and tightened garments he wore.
" Ahem ! Sir ! I say, young man !" the customer exclaimed.
" Ton d'apameibomenos prosephe," re id on the Student, his voice
choked with emotion. "What language ! " he said ; " How rich, how
noble, how sonorous ! prosephe podas— "
The customer burst out into a fit of laughter so shrill and cheery,
that the young Student could not but turn round, and, blushiDg, for the
first time remarked her. " A pretty Grocer's boy you are," she cried,
" with your applepiebomenos and your French and lingo. Am I to be
kep waiting for hever?"
" Pardon, fair Maiden," said he, with high-bred courtesy ; " 'Twas
not French I read, 'twas the Godlike language of the blind old bard.
In what can 1 be serviceable to ye, lady ?" and to spring from his
desk, to imooth his apron, to stand before her the obedient Shop Boy,
the x>oet no more, was the work of a moment.
" I micjht have prigged this box of figs," the damsel said, good-
naturedly, " aLd you'd never have turned round."
" They came from the country of Hector," the boy said. " Would
you have currants, lady ? These once bloomed in the island gardens
of the blue iEgean. They are uncommon fine ones, and the figure is
low ; they're fourpence-halfpenny a pound. Would ye mayhap make
trial of our teas ? We do not advertise, as some folks do : but sell as
low as any other house."
" You 're precious young to have all these good things," the girl
exclaimed, not unwilling, seemingly, to prolong the conversation. '• If
I was you, and stood behind the counter, I should be eating figs the
whole day long."
" Time was," answered the lad, and not long since I thought so,
too, "I thought I never should be tired of figs. But my old uncle
bade me take my fill, and now in sooth I am aweary of them."
" I think you gentlemen are always so," the coquette said.
" Nay, say not so, fair stranger !" the youth replied, his face
kindling as he spoke, and his eagle eyes flashing fire. " Figs pall ;
but 0 ! the Beautiful never does ! Figs rot ; but 0 ! the Truthful
is eternal. I was born, lady, to grapple with the Lofty and the Ideal.
My soul yearns for the Visionary. I stand behind the counter, it is
true ; but I ponder here upon the deeds of heroes, and muse over the
thoughts of sages. What is grocery for one who has ambition ?
What sweetness hath Muscovado to him who hath tasted of Poesy ?
The Ideal, lady, I often think, is the true Real, and the Actual but
a visionary hallucination. But pardon me ; with what may I serve
thee ?"
" I came only for sixpenn'orth of tea-dust," the girl said, with a fal-
tering voice ; " but 0, I should like to hear you speak on for ever ! "
Only for sixpenn'orth of tea-dust ? Girl, thou earnest for other
things ! Thou lovedst his voice ? Syren ! what was the witchery of
thine own ! He deftly made up the packet, and placed it in the little
hand. She paid for her small purchase, and, with a farewell glance of
her lustrous eyes, she left him. She passed slowly through the portal,
and in a moment more was lost in the crowd. It was noon in Chepe.
And George de Barnwell was alone.
THE COOK'S ORACLE.
"Deer Mister Pdnch, York Street, St. James's Square.
" Mi old frend the Clock died yesterday mornin, at a few
minites befor 4 o'clock ; she was observed on the fast-day to be in a
grate deal of pane ; the sexton hadministered a few drops of oil, but it
was all of no use. I should not be so hurt about her, for she got me into
a grate many scrapes, only the old saying is, when the old un's gone,
there never cunis a better. I shall wear a bit of black ribbon in my
cap, and a bit of crape round my left arm. Hopeing to see you pay
some mark of respecf,
• " I am, deer Sir, yours in sorrow,
"Friday Morning. "Mary White."
" Four o'clock.
" P.S. I have been dreadfully alarmed at hearing the clock strike
again, after 36 hours' silence. I suppose they have been performing
some hopperation, and that she has been under the influence of ether,
and has only just come to. " M. W."
PERSONS OF SLOW APPREHENSION.
N consequence of the many recent robberies that
have been committed in the neighbourhood
of Manchester (the perpetrators remaining
undiscovered), the police force have called a
meeting amongst themselves for the purpose of
petitioning Parliament to make a law that will
render the apprehension of burglars at once sure
and easy.
After many suggestions for the accomplish-
ment of thtir object, the following proposition
was made by X 40, and carried without a
dissenting voice :—
" That every burglar, when he goes to rob a
house, shall be compelled to leave his real name and address on the pre-
mises, also the exact time when the robbery was committed, by what
means he effected an entrance, what implements he used, with every
particular necessary to render his apprehension easy, and his convic-
tion sure ; the neglect of which to be visited by extra punishment, if
ever he is taken."
JUST PUBLISHED, a condensed Abridgment of the Statutes at Large.
" 63 volumes, price only £33.
" This admirable work ought to lie upon the table of every one in tbe kingdom, from
the peer to the peasant."—Evening Paper.
137
milk has refreshed the traveller and perplexed the natural philosopher.
The shop in question was, in a word, a Grocer's.
In the midst of the shop and its gorgeous contents sate one who, to
judge from his appearance (though 'twas a difficult task, as, in sooth,
his back was turned), had just reached that happy period of life when
the Boy is expanding into the Man. 0 Youth, Youth ! Happy and
Beautiful ! 0 fresh and roseate dawn of life ; when the dew yet lies
on the flowers, ere they have been scorched and withered by Passion's
fiery Sun ! Immersed in thought or study, and indifferent to the din
around him, sate the Boy. A careless guardian was he of the treasures
confided to him. The crowd passed in Chepe ; he never marked it.
The sun shone on Chepe ; he only asked that it should illumine the
page he read. The knave might filch his treasures, he was heedless
of the knave. The customer might enter ; but his book was all in all
to him.
And indeed a customer was there ; a little hand was tapping on the
counter with a pretty impatience ; a pair of arch eyes were gazing at
the Boy, admiring, perhaps, his manly proportions through the homely
and tightened garments he wore.
" Ahem ! Sir ! I say, young man !" the customer exclaimed.
" Ton d'apameibomenos prosephe," re id on the Student, his voice
choked with emotion. "What language ! " he said ; " How rich, how
noble, how sonorous ! prosephe podas— "
The customer burst out into a fit of laughter so shrill and cheery,
that the young Student could not but turn round, and, blushiDg, for the
first time remarked her. " A pretty Grocer's boy you are," she cried,
" with your applepiebomenos and your French and lingo. Am I to be
kep waiting for hever?"
" Pardon, fair Maiden," said he, with high-bred courtesy ; " 'Twas
not French I read, 'twas the Godlike language of the blind old bard.
In what can 1 be serviceable to ye, lady ?" and to spring from his
desk, to imooth his apron, to stand before her the obedient Shop Boy,
the x>oet no more, was the work of a moment.
" I micjht have prigged this box of figs," the damsel said, good-
naturedly, " aLd you'd never have turned round."
" They came from the country of Hector," the boy said. " Would
you have currants, lady ? These once bloomed in the island gardens
of the blue iEgean. They are uncommon fine ones, and the figure is
low ; they're fourpence-halfpenny a pound. Would ye mayhap make
trial of our teas ? We do not advertise, as some folks do : but sell as
low as any other house."
" You 're precious young to have all these good things," the girl
exclaimed, not unwilling, seemingly, to prolong the conversation. '• If
I was you, and stood behind the counter, I should be eating figs the
whole day long."
" Time was," answered the lad, and not long since I thought so,
too, "I thought I never should be tired of figs. But my old uncle
bade me take my fill, and now in sooth I am aweary of them."
" I think you gentlemen are always so," the coquette said.
" Nay, say not so, fair stranger !" the youth replied, his face
kindling as he spoke, and his eagle eyes flashing fire. " Figs pall ;
but 0 ! the Beautiful never does ! Figs rot ; but 0 ! the Truthful
is eternal. I was born, lady, to grapple with the Lofty and the Ideal.
My soul yearns for the Visionary. I stand behind the counter, it is
true ; but I ponder here upon the deeds of heroes, and muse over the
thoughts of sages. What is grocery for one who has ambition ?
What sweetness hath Muscovado to him who hath tasted of Poesy ?
The Ideal, lady, I often think, is the true Real, and the Actual but
a visionary hallucination. But pardon me ; with what may I serve
thee ?"
" I came only for sixpenn'orth of tea-dust," the girl said, with a fal-
tering voice ; " but 0, I should like to hear you speak on for ever ! "
Only for sixpenn'orth of tea-dust ? Girl, thou earnest for other
things ! Thou lovedst his voice ? Syren ! what was the witchery of
thine own ! He deftly made up the packet, and placed it in the little
hand. She paid for her small purchase, and, with a farewell glance of
her lustrous eyes, she left him. She passed slowly through the portal,
and in a moment more was lost in the crowd. It was noon in Chepe.
And George de Barnwell was alone.
THE COOK'S ORACLE.
"Deer Mister Pdnch, York Street, St. James's Square.
" Mi old frend the Clock died yesterday mornin, at a few
minites befor 4 o'clock ; she was observed on the fast-day to be in a
grate deal of pane ; the sexton hadministered a few drops of oil, but it
was all of no use. I should not be so hurt about her, for she got me into
a grate many scrapes, only the old saying is, when the old un's gone,
there never cunis a better. I shall wear a bit of black ribbon in my
cap, and a bit of crape round my left arm. Hopeing to see you pay
some mark of respecf,
• " I am, deer Sir, yours in sorrow,
"Friday Morning. "Mary White."
" Four o'clock.
" P.S. I have been dreadfully alarmed at hearing the clock strike
again, after 36 hours' silence. I suppose they have been performing
some hopperation, and that she has been under the influence of ether,
and has only just come to. " M. W."
PERSONS OF SLOW APPREHENSION.
N consequence of the many recent robberies that
have been committed in the neighbourhood
of Manchester (the perpetrators remaining
undiscovered), the police force have called a
meeting amongst themselves for the purpose of
petitioning Parliament to make a law that will
render the apprehension of burglars at once sure
and easy.
After many suggestions for the accomplish-
ment of thtir object, the following proposition
was made by X 40, and carried without a
dissenting voice :—
" That every burglar, when he goes to rob a
house, shall be compelled to leave his real name and address on the pre-
mises, also the exact time when the robbery was committed, by what
means he effected an entrance, what implements he used, with every
particular necessary to render his apprehension easy, and his convic-
tion sure ; the neglect of which to be visited by extra punishment, if
ever he is taken."
JUST PUBLISHED, a condensed Abridgment of the Statutes at Large.
" 63 volumes, price only £33.
" This admirable work ought to lie upon the table of every one in tbe kingdom, from
the peer to the peasant."—Evening Paper.