DOI Heft:
January to June, 1847
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16544#0151
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. in
THE LONG THURSDAYS AT THE OPERA.
U &// 0/ r/u Opta^J-f] THE ,ibera!i^ °l .the ,entertain
> -.^i,.-.--L--_< j- ments at Her Maiestv a Iheatri
ALka
ments at Her Majesty's Theatre
has rendered it necessary to elongate
the bills in a manner corresponding
with the extent of the attractions. If
we buy a bill in one street, we shall
find half of it round the corntr of the
other, and it will soon be necessary to
fit up the boxes with rollers, for the
purpose of giving panoramic pro-
grammes of the performances.
Apropos of the Opera, Ave hear that
the renters contemplate an incursion
into all parts of Covent Garden, upon
its opening for Italian performances.
A renter's share, conferring a right to
enter any part of the theatre, will, it is said, enable the
purchaser of one of these articles—until lately so fearfully
\ at a discount—to take his choice of any vacant seat before
the curtain in the whole establishment.
The possession of a renter's share will place upon a level
the bishop and the shop-boy, the wearer of lawn and the
measurer of linen. The Duke of Wellington may be
ousted from his position by any of the heroes of Waterloo-
House, and the clerical dignitary — the prebend, for
example—may be disturbed in his stall by his own parish
beadle. Pummell, and others of the virtuosi, who purchased
a free admission in the days of Covent Garden's decline,
will, it is said, have the right to occupy one of the best
places in the house, to the exclusion of the most aristocratic
dilettanti that ever murmured out bravee, or simpered a faint
bravissinto. Easter Tuesday is Dear at hand, and we shall
watcb, with intense interest, the battle of the renters, which
it is expected will be fought in the corridors.
KGCRH
1A
THE SIN OF STEALING SEVEN TURNIPS.
Could not some society be established for the encouragement oi
thought and reflection among country magistrates ? To send a man to
gaol is a serious thiDg; but, apparently, their rural worships think little
of it. The daily papers inform us, that, at Exeter, last week, one John
Sutjte was convicted of having stolen seven turnips, the property of
William Abraham Keats, his master. Whereupon,
"Mr. Justice Williams said, it was a sad thing to see a man, like the prisoner, stand-
ing at the bar .or stealing a few turnips ; he had already been in prison for nearly a
month, and the sentence of the Court was that he should be imprisoned two days.
" Mb. Whyte, who conducted the case for the prosecution, said that a man had beeu
set to watch the turnips, in consequence of former depredations, and the prisoner was
caught in the fact.
"Mr. Justicr Wiliiams said the man had been subject to all the contamination of a
gaol for stealing three or four turnips. He had only 9s. a week."
We are sorry when any men, meritorious of contempt and execration,
aredefrauded of their rightful due, since their loss is also the loss of society.
We regret, therefore, that our contemporaries did not publish the names
of the magistrates who committed this poor man to prison for stealing a
few turnips. Stealing do we say ? Was it so ? This poor fellow "had
only 9s. a week." His income, perhaps, was little more than that of the
members of a certain society, who, passing through a corn-field, and
being hungry—as men with nine shillings a week sometimes are—
plucked the ears of corn and did eat. Was that stealing ? This did
they, moreovir, on the Sabbath-day. There was one among them who,
had their act been flagitious, would, we presume, have reproved it, yet
did He not so. This occurrence took place a loDg way off, and a good
while ago ; it happened in Judea, in the early part of the first Christian
century. Had it taken place in Devonshire in the year 1847, it might
have given occasion for the comments of Mr. Justice Williams.
AN APPOINTMENT FOR LIFE.
TnE surest appointment for life is to get an engagement
on the Catalogue of the British Museum, which, according
to its present rate of speed, will probably reach comp'etion
by the time our great-grandchildren have great-grand-
children of their own. The appointments must be here-
ditary, we should say, the work proceeds so very slowly.
At present only the letter A is completed. The present
compilers will certainly be all their lives endeavouring to
master their A, B, C; and as for the letter P, which is
about the most prolific in the alphabet, it will, when it is
reached, some time next century, absorb the entire life of
a literary man, let him live to twice the age of old Parr.
We have frequently heard of "men of letters," but this
catalogue-spinning will create a new class of litterateurs,
" the man of a single letter," or, perhaps, " half a letter,"
for the son, probably, may have to complete what the
father began in robust health, but perished in the middle
of the laborious attempt. When will this very slow delivery
of twenty-four letters be finished ? Will it ever get as
far as that quiet, unassuming letter X, ? We are quite
frightened to ask. We
advise the Trustees of
7<s5t^r-r-3——j >;-. / , ~,1t7 tne British Museum to
rS'//^^/fJ-0//j^^/ irutal Mr. Rowland
Hill immediately at
the head of the Library, or else the letters of the catalogue will never
be delivered to future generations before the following periods :—
A, R, C, D, finished in time for the 20th century.
1) to K, „ „ 22nd „
Aad Z, ,, not before the Payment of the National Debt.
When the last letter has been given out, the Sir Henry Ellis of that
unknown period, may with justice exe'aim to the zealous student, who
is contemplating the pyramid upon pyramid of books which will form
the catalogue, " Mon enfant, quavante siecles te regardent du haut de ces
I/ivres I"—and the student will be struck dumb at the stupendous labour
of his forefathers, and will look up to that catalogue as the Sphinx of
his times.
meagre diet.
It is declared that Soyer must have prepared the new Prussian
THE GREATEST AGITATOR IN THE WORLD
hb German papers inform us, that before
the letters-patent of the King of Prussia
respecting the estates were published in
Berlin, they weTe sent at full length to the
Emperor of Russia and the Prince Mbt-
ternich. It would be a great saving, we
think, to have electric telegraphs connect-
ing the government offices of Vienna, St.
Petersburgb, and Berlin. By these means
of rapid communication, Frederick might
ask the advice of Metternich and the
permission of Nicholas before he entered
upon any new law, and messengers, car-
riers, despatches, protests and protocols,
and such slow things, be all dispensed with.
The links which have long connected those three courts would be
literally strengthened, and one half of Europe would be laid under
their secret influence. We wonder Louis-Philippe, in his desire
to remove the distance between Prance and England, has not pro-
posed long ago, as the be3t means of making both ends meet, to
establish an electric telegraph between Neuilly and Osborne House.
By these means he might correspond with Victoria, sending her a line
every day, and with a clever set of instruments, and by working the
oracle well, might eventually have the whole of England under his
thumb. Who knows ?—the crafcy Ulysses may have in his hand some
day the strings which pull all the thrones of Europe (he has already
got Russia by a golden link, and Spain by a family tie), and ultimately
he may drive four-and-twenty kings as easily as Van Amburgh
drives the same number of horses ? It is quite awful to think that
the little finger of such a man might agitate the entire globe.
The Blessing of Zither.
A bladder of Ether, oh ! fill, fill for me !
Let those who prefer it feel pain ;
But I '11 have out my tooth, though a molar ic be,
And it never shall plague me again.
The dentist his forceps displays to my eye,
I feel no emotions distressing ;
Inhaling my Ether, the wrench I defy—
Oh ! ether indeed is a blessing !
" FAST BIND, FAST FIND."
The Fast was kept at the Mansion House in the most rigid manner.
Diet, for it is so like his soup—there's nothing in ic. ! The fare did not differ from that of any other day.
Yr>u. 12.
5—2
THE LONG THURSDAYS AT THE OPERA.
U &// 0/ r/u Opta^J-f] THE ,ibera!i^ °l .the ,entertain
> -.^i,.-.--L--_< j- ments at Her Maiestv a Iheatri
ALka
ments at Her Majesty's Theatre
has rendered it necessary to elongate
the bills in a manner corresponding
with the extent of the attractions. If
we buy a bill in one street, we shall
find half of it round the corntr of the
other, and it will soon be necessary to
fit up the boxes with rollers, for the
purpose of giving panoramic pro-
grammes of the performances.
Apropos of the Opera, Ave hear that
the renters contemplate an incursion
into all parts of Covent Garden, upon
its opening for Italian performances.
A renter's share, conferring a right to
enter any part of the theatre, will, it is said, enable the
purchaser of one of these articles—until lately so fearfully
\ at a discount—to take his choice of any vacant seat before
the curtain in the whole establishment.
The possession of a renter's share will place upon a level
the bishop and the shop-boy, the wearer of lawn and the
measurer of linen. The Duke of Wellington may be
ousted from his position by any of the heroes of Waterloo-
House, and the clerical dignitary — the prebend, for
example—may be disturbed in his stall by his own parish
beadle. Pummell, and others of the virtuosi, who purchased
a free admission in the days of Covent Garden's decline,
will, it is said, have the right to occupy one of the best
places in the house, to the exclusion of the most aristocratic
dilettanti that ever murmured out bravee, or simpered a faint
bravissinto. Easter Tuesday is Dear at hand, and we shall
watcb, with intense interest, the battle of the renters, which
it is expected will be fought in the corridors.
KGCRH
1A
THE SIN OF STEALING SEVEN TURNIPS.
Could not some society be established for the encouragement oi
thought and reflection among country magistrates ? To send a man to
gaol is a serious thiDg; but, apparently, their rural worships think little
of it. The daily papers inform us, that, at Exeter, last week, one John
Sutjte was convicted of having stolen seven turnips, the property of
William Abraham Keats, his master. Whereupon,
"Mr. Justice Williams said, it was a sad thing to see a man, like the prisoner, stand-
ing at the bar .or stealing a few turnips ; he had already been in prison for nearly a
month, and the sentence of the Court was that he should be imprisoned two days.
" Mb. Whyte, who conducted the case for the prosecution, said that a man had beeu
set to watch the turnips, in consequence of former depredations, and the prisoner was
caught in the fact.
"Mr. Justicr Wiliiams said the man had been subject to all the contamination of a
gaol for stealing three or four turnips. He had only 9s. a week."
We are sorry when any men, meritorious of contempt and execration,
aredefrauded of their rightful due, since their loss is also the loss of society.
We regret, therefore, that our contemporaries did not publish the names
of the magistrates who committed this poor man to prison for stealing a
few turnips. Stealing do we say ? Was it so ? This poor fellow "had
only 9s. a week." His income, perhaps, was little more than that of the
members of a certain society, who, passing through a corn-field, and
being hungry—as men with nine shillings a week sometimes are—
plucked the ears of corn and did eat. Was that stealing ? This did
they, moreovir, on the Sabbath-day. There was one among them who,
had their act been flagitious, would, we presume, have reproved it, yet
did He not so. This occurrence took place a loDg way off, and a good
while ago ; it happened in Judea, in the early part of the first Christian
century. Had it taken place in Devonshire in the year 1847, it might
have given occasion for the comments of Mr. Justice Williams.
AN APPOINTMENT FOR LIFE.
TnE surest appointment for life is to get an engagement
on the Catalogue of the British Museum, which, according
to its present rate of speed, will probably reach comp'etion
by the time our great-grandchildren have great-grand-
children of their own. The appointments must be here-
ditary, we should say, the work proceeds so very slowly.
At present only the letter A is completed. The present
compilers will certainly be all their lives endeavouring to
master their A, B, C; and as for the letter P, which is
about the most prolific in the alphabet, it will, when it is
reached, some time next century, absorb the entire life of
a literary man, let him live to twice the age of old Parr.
We have frequently heard of "men of letters," but this
catalogue-spinning will create a new class of litterateurs,
" the man of a single letter," or, perhaps, " half a letter,"
for the son, probably, may have to complete what the
father began in robust health, but perished in the middle
of the laborious attempt. When will this very slow delivery
of twenty-four letters be finished ? Will it ever get as
far as that quiet, unassuming letter X, ? We are quite
frightened to ask. We
advise the Trustees of
7<s5t^r-r-3——j >;-. / , ~,1t7 tne British Museum to
rS'//^^/fJ-0//j^^/ irutal Mr. Rowland
Hill immediately at
the head of the Library, or else the letters of the catalogue will never
be delivered to future generations before the following periods :—
A, R, C, D, finished in time for the 20th century.
1) to K, „ „ 22nd „
Aad Z, ,, not before the Payment of the National Debt.
When the last letter has been given out, the Sir Henry Ellis of that
unknown period, may with justice exe'aim to the zealous student, who
is contemplating the pyramid upon pyramid of books which will form
the catalogue, " Mon enfant, quavante siecles te regardent du haut de ces
I/ivres I"—and the student will be struck dumb at the stupendous labour
of his forefathers, and will look up to that catalogue as the Sphinx of
his times.
meagre diet.
It is declared that Soyer must have prepared the new Prussian
THE GREATEST AGITATOR IN THE WORLD
hb German papers inform us, that before
the letters-patent of the King of Prussia
respecting the estates were published in
Berlin, they weTe sent at full length to the
Emperor of Russia and the Prince Mbt-
ternich. It would be a great saving, we
think, to have electric telegraphs connect-
ing the government offices of Vienna, St.
Petersburgb, and Berlin. By these means
of rapid communication, Frederick might
ask the advice of Metternich and the
permission of Nicholas before he entered
upon any new law, and messengers, car-
riers, despatches, protests and protocols,
and such slow things, be all dispensed with.
The links which have long connected those three courts would be
literally strengthened, and one half of Europe would be laid under
their secret influence. We wonder Louis-Philippe, in his desire
to remove the distance between Prance and England, has not pro-
posed long ago, as the be3t means of making both ends meet, to
establish an electric telegraph between Neuilly and Osborne House.
By these means he might correspond with Victoria, sending her a line
every day, and with a clever set of instruments, and by working the
oracle well, might eventually have the whole of England under his
thumb. Who knows ?—the crafcy Ulysses may have in his hand some
day the strings which pull all the thrones of Europe (he has already
got Russia by a golden link, and Spain by a family tie), and ultimately
he may drive four-and-twenty kings as easily as Van Amburgh
drives the same number of horses ? It is quite awful to think that
the little finger of such a man might agitate the entire globe.
The Blessing of Zither.
A bladder of Ether, oh ! fill, fill for me !
Let those who prefer it feel pain ;
But I '11 have out my tooth, though a molar ic be,
And it never shall plague me again.
The dentist his forceps displays to my eye,
I feel no emotions distressing ;
Inhaling my Ether, the wrench I defy—
Oh ! ether indeed is a blessing !
" FAST BIND, FAST FIND."
The Fast was kept at the Mansion House in the most rigid manner.
Diet, for it is so like his soup—there's nothing in ic. ! The fare did not differ from that of any other day.
Yr>u. 12.
5—2