DOI issue:
January to June, 1847
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16544#0181
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 171
"Whereupon, they all exclaimed—" Ei ghta sat riv et! " And then
they rose, and yelled, and danced ; and, again and again, declared ther
would never more frighten the squaws of the Strandiquois, or of the
Charingcrosskees, or of any other hunting-ground soever.
Having witnessed the marrowbone dance, and rubbed noses with
Gibletts and other of the principal chiefs, Punch departed for his
town residence in Fleet Street.
It is understood that the Lord Matob will lay the first turf in
Smithfleld, on the 1st of May. Of course, Punch will duly chronicle
the ceremony.
CAPSICUM HOUSE FOR YOUNG LADIES.
CHAPTER I.
A VISIT TO CAPSICUM HOUSE. MISS GRIFFIN ON THE FIRST
PRINCIPLES OF STUFFING.
the green growing grass, so let the stoniness of your hearts be throughout the land, attacking constitutions in no way able to with-
removed, and let them be soft and tender, even as that growing velvet, stand it, and makiDg very grave folks very bad indeed ;—the serious
the green turf. Speak I rightly, men of many races ?" ! reader may now imperfectly understand our emotion as we approached
Capsicum House. It was a building worthy of its purpose. A lar^e,
square, massive, red brick house ; a house that somehow revealed the
solid comforts to be had within. A house, it was plain, with a magni-
ficent cellar for its heart—a cellar that at seasons sent its red blood
throughout the whole body of the building. The contemplative man,
his eye for the first time resting on the dining-room windows, would
inevitably subside into calculation ; would count the number of elbows
that might be allowed honest play around the mahogany circle of that
room. There are many such houses throughout our merry land ; and
yet how often are they in a fallen condition ! How often do we see
them put in irons by the mad doctor fur private lunacy,—how often
are they made the wineless sanctuaries for schoolmistresses ! How
often is the use of the globes despotically taught in some noble room
—a room especially built that men might therein congregate and with
spirits on the wing—the bee's-wing—play with the globe, as school-
boys afore-named play at marbles !
The house was approached through an avenue of limes, curiously
cut. One bent to the wind, a large green shoulder of mutton—another
had a sirloin shape—whilst shrubs came up in frying-pans and fish-
slices ; and cruet-stands grew in box ; and all things around had a
e shall never for-1 learned presence significant of the studies pursued by the rosy dwellers
get the emotion m the House of Capsicum. There were many beds of sweet herbs ;
that softly broke knotted thyme and lemon ; sweet majorum, and the sober green of
within us on our ' sa£e > anu the Dees> i°Uy little burglars ! singing—singing as they
first visit to Cap- ' broke in upon the blossoms, and secured the property about their per-
sicum House. We sons- -^n<* fr°m a neighbouring bed arose the bright green threads of
know not how it tender onions ; and fancy went half-an-inch into the ground, and saw
is but we have their white waxen faces feeding at the breast of mother earth for
always felt a par- future ducks ! We could have wept.
ticular respect for ' A few steps further, and we got among the small salad. In one
Boarding Schools bed were these words in mustard-and-cress, sown in a very fine
for Young Ladies. Italian hand—"Welcome, little stranger!" Well, we confess it; we
We are open to bave had our small twopenny-halfpenny triumphs in our time ; but
allow the oddity we never felt so highly flattered as by this green,pungent compliment,
of the taste • we " Welcome, little stranger ! " Yes, it is plain, we pondered, that Miss
confess to the ec- Griffin, expecting our visit, has sown—or caused to he sown—this
centricity_ but flattering sentence. There is a delicacy in the attention that we must
so it is. We have take all to ourselves. Well, we reflected, if we are so much pleased
a knack of look- with the mustard, how will it fare with us when we come to the beef 1
ing upon such Softened, we were fast melting in our own thoughts, when Miss
abiding-places as Griffin, turning the angle of a holly-hedge, came sharp upon us.
great manufac- She had a bunch of parsley in her hand, and wore a snow-white
tories of the do- apron high up, succinctly drawn across the bosom. Meeting her in
mestic virtues_ the garden, and with the parsley in her hand, we gallantly observed,
as the salt-cellars from some poet—-
of a vain and fool- " Plucking the flowers, herself the fairest flower ! "
ish world. And now we are prone to consider them as towers and I "Why, the fact is, dear Sir"—said Miss Griffin, blowing the dew
castles—we of course speak of Schools Finishing—whence, as in the : in silver drops from the parsley'—"the fact is, I am just now a little
precious old times, young ladies walk forth, their accomplishments , busy with some of the girls. The Veal-Stuffing Class is on, and there
breaking like sunbeams about them, to bless, elevate, and purify ] is one girl, Miss Eloke—whatever will become of her in the world, I
ungrateful, wayward, earthy man. As Miss Griffin herself was can't tell—I never can get her to understand the proper proportions
wont to say, sometimes with little tears glistening like pins'-heada ; of parsley. Now I hold stuffiog to be one of the bases—if not the
in her eyes—as that great woman was accustomed to observe of her , basis—of education." We bowed. "A woman ignorant of stuffing."
own pupils—"Dear little things! they are made too good for men ; ■ said Miss Griffin solemnly, "is ill calculated to meet the trials of this
but then—poor souls ! it's their mission." life. You cannot tell how the giddiness of that girl distresses me.
Slightly chastened and humiliated by this truth, we repeat it, we However, I have my mission to perform, and stuffing is a part of ic
always contemplate a Boarding School with growing respect. And Nevertheless, Miss Eluke is my great trouble. It has always been
touching, and pretty, and very suggestive it is to see a Boarding I my pride to turn my girls into the world with such unmistakeable
School "walk." With school-girl*, gravity is, of course, a matter of, marks about them, such staring accomplishments, if I may be allowed
height; hence, the tallest—next the mistress—are ever the most the phrase, that those who know my system, can at once exclaim-
serious ; whilst the little ones, like rebuked kittens, are just as serious
as they may be. Dear little things ! we never see their line of bon-
nets, that we do not drop plump—fathoms down in contemplation. We
ask it of time—and of course have to wait for an answer—" Sweet
little girls 1 where, at this moment, are your husbands ? How many
of them are playing at top, wholly thoughtless of the blessings blossom-
ing for them ?—How many trundle the hoop, and dream not of the
wedding-ring that even now may be forged for them ?—How many fly
their long-tailed kites, without a thought of coming curl-papers ?—
How many, heedless of the precious weight of matrimony, jump *at
leap-frog ?—And how many, at ring-taw, oblivious of the holy state,
at this very moment knuckle down ?" But the picture is too affect-
ing ; our eyes begin to water over the page, as it were an onion-bed.
Well, the intelligent and serious reader—for we trust the animal is
That's a Griffin !' Now, I do not wish to prejudge anybody j
nevertheless, when I sometimes lay my head upon my pillow and think
of Miss Fjltjke, I own it, I am inclined to despair ; 1 do not think she
will ever be a Griffin."
We essayed some words of comfort, as in manly duty bound ; and
then, in our own adroit way, endeavoured to turn the conversation.
Sidling up to the writing in mustard-and-cress, a-.d taking Miss
Griffin with us, we observed, removing our hat, " This is flattering,
and announces your expectation."
" Sir ! " cried Miss Griffin, and she dropt the parsley, " Expec-
tation ! "
" I assure you that I feel the compliment ; you know I promised to
come, and herein I read your graceful welcome;" and again we bowed.
Oh!" cried Miss Griffin, with rather a long gasp, and we
not yet extinct : it is our meek hope that the comic epidemic raging | thought—but it could not be ; no, impossible—with a slightly con-
"Whereupon, they all exclaimed—" Ei ghta sat riv et! " And then
they rose, and yelled, and danced ; and, again and again, declared ther
would never more frighten the squaws of the Strandiquois, or of the
Charingcrosskees, or of any other hunting-ground soever.
Having witnessed the marrowbone dance, and rubbed noses with
Gibletts and other of the principal chiefs, Punch departed for his
town residence in Fleet Street.
It is understood that the Lord Matob will lay the first turf in
Smithfleld, on the 1st of May. Of course, Punch will duly chronicle
the ceremony.
CAPSICUM HOUSE FOR YOUNG LADIES.
CHAPTER I.
A VISIT TO CAPSICUM HOUSE. MISS GRIFFIN ON THE FIRST
PRINCIPLES OF STUFFING.
the green growing grass, so let the stoniness of your hearts be throughout the land, attacking constitutions in no way able to with-
removed, and let them be soft and tender, even as that growing velvet, stand it, and makiDg very grave folks very bad indeed ;—the serious
the green turf. Speak I rightly, men of many races ?" ! reader may now imperfectly understand our emotion as we approached
Capsicum House. It was a building worthy of its purpose. A lar^e,
square, massive, red brick house ; a house that somehow revealed the
solid comforts to be had within. A house, it was plain, with a magni-
ficent cellar for its heart—a cellar that at seasons sent its red blood
throughout the whole body of the building. The contemplative man,
his eye for the first time resting on the dining-room windows, would
inevitably subside into calculation ; would count the number of elbows
that might be allowed honest play around the mahogany circle of that
room. There are many such houses throughout our merry land ; and
yet how often are they in a fallen condition ! How often do we see
them put in irons by the mad doctor fur private lunacy,—how often
are they made the wineless sanctuaries for schoolmistresses ! How
often is the use of the globes despotically taught in some noble room
—a room especially built that men might therein congregate and with
spirits on the wing—the bee's-wing—play with the globe, as school-
boys afore-named play at marbles !
The house was approached through an avenue of limes, curiously
cut. One bent to the wind, a large green shoulder of mutton—another
had a sirloin shape—whilst shrubs came up in frying-pans and fish-
slices ; and cruet-stands grew in box ; and all things around had a
e shall never for-1 learned presence significant of the studies pursued by the rosy dwellers
get the emotion m the House of Capsicum. There were many beds of sweet herbs ;
that softly broke knotted thyme and lemon ; sweet majorum, and the sober green of
within us on our ' sa£e > anu the Dees> i°Uy little burglars ! singing—singing as they
first visit to Cap- ' broke in upon the blossoms, and secured the property about their per-
sicum House. We sons- -^n<* fr°m a neighbouring bed arose the bright green threads of
know not how it tender onions ; and fancy went half-an-inch into the ground, and saw
is but we have their white waxen faces feeding at the breast of mother earth for
always felt a par- future ducks ! We could have wept.
ticular respect for ' A few steps further, and we got among the small salad. In one
Boarding Schools bed were these words in mustard-and-cress, sown in a very fine
for Young Ladies. Italian hand—"Welcome, little stranger!" Well, we confess it; we
We are open to bave had our small twopenny-halfpenny triumphs in our time ; but
allow the oddity we never felt so highly flattered as by this green,pungent compliment,
of the taste • we " Welcome, little stranger ! " Yes, it is plain, we pondered, that Miss
confess to the ec- Griffin, expecting our visit, has sown—or caused to he sown—this
centricity_ but flattering sentence. There is a delicacy in the attention that we must
so it is. We have take all to ourselves. Well, we reflected, if we are so much pleased
a knack of look- with the mustard, how will it fare with us when we come to the beef 1
ing upon such Softened, we were fast melting in our own thoughts, when Miss
abiding-places as Griffin, turning the angle of a holly-hedge, came sharp upon us.
great manufac- She had a bunch of parsley in her hand, and wore a snow-white
tories of the do- apron high up, succinctly drawn across the bosom. Meeting her in
mestic virtues_ the garden, and with the parsley in her hand, we gallantly observed,
as the salt-cellars from some poet—-
of a vain and fool- " Plucking the flowers, herself the fairest flower ! "
ish world. And now we are prone to consider them as towers and I "Why, the fact is, dear Sir"—said Miss Griffin, blowing the dew
castles—we of course speak of Schools Finishing—whence, as in the : in silver drops from the parsley'—"the fact is, I am just now a little
precious old times, young ladies walk forth, their accomplishments , busy with some of the girls. The Veal-Stuffing Class is on, and there
breaking like sunbeams about them, to bless, elevate, and purify ] is one girl, Miss Eloke—whatever will become of her in the world, I
ungrateful, wayward, earthy man. As Miss Griffin herself was can't tell—I never can get her to understand the proper proportions
wont to say, sometimes with little tears glistening like pins'-heada ; of parsley. Now I hold stuffiog to be one of the bases—if not the
in her eyes—as that great woman was accustomed to observe of her , basis—of education." We bowed. "A woman ignorant of stuffing."
own pupils—"Dear little things! they are made too good for men ; ■ said Miss Griffin solemnly, "is ill calculated to meet the trials of this
but then—poor souls ! it's their mission." life. You cannot tell how the giddiness of that girl distresses me.
Slightly chastened and humiliated by this truth, we repeat it, we However, I have my mission to perform, and stuffing is a part of ic
always contemplate a Boarding School with growing respect. And Nevertheless, Miss Eluke is my great trouble. It has always been
touching, and pretty, and very suggestive it is to see a Boarding I my pride to turn my girls into the world with such unmistakeable
School "walk." With school-girl*, gravity is, of course, a matter of, marks about them, such staring accomplishments, if I may be allowed
height; hence, the tallest—next the mistress—are ever the most the phrase, that those who know my system, can at once exclaim-
serious ; whilst the little ones, like rebuked kittens, are just as serious
as they may be. Dear little things ! we never see their line of bon-
nets, that we do not drop plump—fathoms down in contemplation. We
ask it of time—and of course have to wait for an answer—" Sweet
little girls 1 where, at this moment, are your husbands ? How many
of them are playing at top, wholly thoughtless of the blessings blossom-
ing for them ?—How many trundle the hoop, and dream not of the
wedding-ring that even now may be forged for them ?—How many fly
their long-tailed kites, without a thought of coming curl-papers ?—
How many, heedless of the precious weight of matrimony, jump *at
leap-frog ?—And how many, at ring-taw, oblivious of the holy state,
at this very moment knuckle down ?" But the picture is too affect-
ing ; our eyes begin to water over the page, as it were an onion-bed.
Well, the intelligent and serious reader—for we trust the animal is
That's a Griffin !' Now, I do not wish to prejudge anybody j
nevertheless, when I sometimes lay my head upon my pillow and think
of Miss Fjltjke, I own it, I am inclined to despair ; 1 do not think she
will ever be a Griffin."
We essayed some words of comfort, as in manly duty bound ; and
then, in our own adroit way, endeavoured to turn the conversation.
Sidling up to the writing in mustard-and-cress, a-.d taking Miss
Griffin with us, we observed, removing our hat, " This is flattering,
and announces your expectation."
" Sir ! " cried Miss Griffin, and she dropt the parsley, " Expec-
tation ! "
" I assure you that I feel the compliment ; you know I promised to
come, and herein I read your graceful welcome;" and again we bowed.
Oh!" cried Miss Griffin, with rather a long gasp, and we
not yet extinct : it is our meek hope that the comic epidemic raging | thought—but it could not be ; no, impossible—with a slightly con-