DOI issue:
January to June, 1847
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16544#0219
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVART.
209
NORTH-AMERICAN BOOK-MEN.
THE BATTLE OF THE ARCADE.
his will, doubtless, prove one of the most The traveller who has lately perforated the recesses of Exeter
extraordinary exhibitions ever seen in { Arcade, must have remarked that the southern chain of that inte-
Europe. The North-American Book-1 resting pass is thoroughly depopulated. On making inquiry into the
men are natives of Nooyorck ; landed ( circumstances, we have found that the barbarian horde of a brutal
in Liverpool by the brig Whole Hog, I bailiff has falltn upon the primitive inhabitants of that peaceful nook,
Captain Go-a-head ; and will be ex- which has been the scene of the most heart-rending and windovr-
hibited for the first time next week' smashing struggles.
It is, perhaps, not generally known that the dwellers in this secluded
fissure of the nook which divides the plains of Catherine and North
Wellington, have hitherto led a life of rural indolence ; and, indeed,
their Arodian simplicity in taking shops
J^^k in this Arcade must at once be recognised,
could ever he induced to visit a place Jig/ The mild and patriarchal beadle had all
of civilisation. This opportunity of W JfflHb along exercised a bind of parental despotism
gratifying the Engli.-h author, and the ^iSlir ✓ over the little j*m'^T- and they might oft □
student of English letters, has only MKB WMBmgf be seen, at the close of dav,drinking together
been obtained by a party of gentlemen MmSBr the beer of urbanity from the pot of social
intercourse. One afternoon lately, ere the
simple Arcadians had retired to the fast-
at the Royal Institution. They are
two men, two women, and a bahy—of
the Book-men tribe from the Brord-
weigh ; and are the first that, from
their unprincipled and thievish habits,
(connected with the Literary Fu'd) who
have brought the Book-men to England
at an immense outlay of capital, with
the Christian view of enlightening
the minds of these North-American
savages, and if possible, of reclaiming them from their degrading and
disgusting habits. On the passage to Europe the baby was born at sea.
Now, had ihe baby (it is a boy) been born in the Brordweigh, there is
but little doubt that, bred to the customs of these forlorn Book-men
—who do not know another man's property from their own—the
poor child would have been as morally lost as its unhappy parents ;
but there is now every hope that the child will be placed iu Paternoster
Row, and brought up in the respect of good men's good works.
These people are called Book-men, from their custom of living upon
leaves of every kind. Indeed, they will gobble any substance upon
which anything can be written or printed ; the leaves of the talipot,
properly sauced with printer's ink—-the bulrush, whereof was made
the ancient papyrus, bark, parchment, anything soever that is printed
upon—these Book-men will greedily devour. But there must be ink
—printer's ink—English ink—enshrining the brains of English authors,
their brains, and heart, and blood—to make it particularly palatable
to these benighted Book-men, who are sometimes known under 'he
compound name of Amer ic-anp ubl is-hers. As an instance of ihe
ravenousness of the tribe for this kind of nutriment, we may inform
the reader that the baby of these B^ok-men lived upon a numher of
Dombey and Son, rolled into something like a sugar-stick, half ihe
voyage.
The following is from a modern author's work on The North-
American Book-men :—
" Miserable Bookman ! Thy hand has been against every one ! For
generations past thou hast hunted the English author like the beaver
or the civet-cat ; thou hast followed him like the wild ostrich, and
not caring to meet his eye, hast robbed him of muny a Tale. Depriving
the BritLh author of what Nature made his own—(but what the
Congress of the freest nation upon airih opmionates he has a just
right to be robbed of)—thou hast become cruel, fierce, insolent, and
—in short, a nuisance."
(For particulars and habits of these Book-men see reprints of
English books).
We are happy to state that several worthy Christians in and about
Paternoster Row—with oth'r go >d men at the Wps" End—evince tlie
greatest interest in the ameliorrttion of the condition of these people ;
and will spare no pains to teach them the simple lesson of meum and
tuum.
We, moreover, understand that Messrs. Longman have—with their
characteristic benevolence and liberality—offered to take the poor bahy
Book-man, and bring him up, decently and honestly, in their own
house. We trust they will be permitted to do this ; otherwise, there
nesses of their respective huts, a savage,
armed with a writ, came to spread terror in their hearts, and furniture
all over their pavement. The ruffian, aided by another of his unfeeling
class, had got &fi.fa., and, with a shout like that of—
" Fl FA fO FEE fum,
1 smell the goods of an Englishman,"
he pounced upon the " little all " of an artificer of fa< cy slippers. Wild
shrieks instantly rent the air of that little mclosure—the Vaucluse, or
Val Chiuso of the Briti-h Metropolis. The good old beadle, startled
from his post-matutinal dose, was instantly on his legs, and, grasping
instincively his official staff, approached the scene whence the cry of
distress had arisen. There he foui d a table, evidently on its last legs,
giving creaks of agony as it was being torn away from the spot; while
its affectionate owner, folding its flaps to his bosom—like the green
leaves of hope—clung to its claws with passionate energy.
From the room above a cruel attempt was being made to let down a
sort of sofa ; while a frautic voice screamed out, " Ye shall not lay low
the ottoman!" The beadle had only time to mutter to himself—
Woman in distress!" before he was at the scene of confusioD ; and,
throwing himself into a majestic attitude, with upraised staff, before
the shop door, his sentiments formed themselves into blank verse
without any effort:—
" How now ! What -s this ? Hallo there ! "Who are you ?
Come, come ! You '11 leave that chair alone, young man.
A writ, pooh ! pooh ! so, so, if that's the dodge,
You '11 please to look at this, and this, and this."
As he spoke the last line, he suited the action to the word, by
producing three several distresses for three distinct
quarters' rents which had never been enforced, and
whieh he contended gave him a prior claim to the
goods that were the subject of the struggle. The
bailiff barbarian sneered in the face of the good old
man, who suddenly, from a mere lamb, sprang up
into a semblance of a lion. His eyes flashing with
recent double X, his nostrils dilating with dignity,
and his whiskers twinkling with electric fire, like
that on the back of a cat, when its back is regularly
up, he sprang upon the table, and taking an attitude of defiance,
defied the bailiff to
" touch it, with but a look."
The man of law was for a moment abashed ; but renewing the
struggle, he had nearly succeeded in carrying off his prize, wh n the
beadle, knowing the geography of the place,
bounded off towards the western postern,
is every fear that the child, on returning to Nooyorck, will join the fc f whit.h he SPCUred b lock ar,d k £ wif£
pestilent tribe of Amer-ic-anp-ubl-is-hers; a race more brutal than the II / havir alread taken the hint ai)d'barripaded
Cherokees, more ferocious than the Iroquois. the eastern frontier. The result was a parley,
_ ffiH and it ended in the bdliff being' obliged to
Dreadful Complaint.
march out with the honours—and raps on the
knuckles — of war, leaving the bead'e s^Ie
master of the field ; upon which, after the
The prevalent, complaint, in the City, is that the Bank is labouring / ^rs* excitement had passed, he "cried like a
under a severe tightness across its money-chest. If something is not .JL_rf3S-^^^_jL- child," and buried his head in a small basket of
speedily done to relieve the old ladv, there is no knowing what the
consequences will be. Trade and Commerce (who are dependent for
their daily support, and are generally fed by the Bank with a gold and
silver spoon) are completely paralysed for the want of their usual food.
Persons who know their cases the best, declare that Trade and
Commerce must certainly die of inanition if the Bank does not
toys, to conceal his emotion.
It is true victory crowned the efforts of the Arcadians ; but the
chaumiere had been desecrated; and as the Eastern yellow-hammernever
returns to the nest once looked upon by human eye, the debtor no
longer finds repose in the dwelling that has fallen under the falcon
glance of his creditor. In either case the twig must be for ever
immediately give " a little bullion," or something nourishing, just to hopped; and such has been the result of the scene we have been
keep them alive. describing.
209
NORTH-AMERICAN BOOK-MEN.
THE BATTLE OF THE ARCADE.
his will, doubtless, prove one of the most The traveller who has lately perforated the recesses of Exeter
extraordinary exhibitions ever seen in { Arcade, must have remarked that the southern chain of that inte-
Europe. The North-American Book-1 resting pass is thoroughly depopulated. On making inquiry into the
men are natives of Nooyorck ; landed ( circumstances, we have found that the barbarian horde of a brutal
in Liverpool by the brig Whole Hog, I bailiff has falltn upon the primitive inhabitants of that peaceful nook,
Captain Go-a-head ; and will be ex- which has been the scene of the most heart-rending and windovr-
hibited for the first time next week' smashing struggles.
It is, perhaps, not generally known that the dwellers in this secluded
fissure of the nook which divides the plains of Catherine and North
Wellington, have hitherto led a life of rural indolence ; and, indeed,
their Arodian simplicity in taking shops
J^^k in this Arcade must at once be recognised,
could ever he induced to visit a place Jig/ The mild and patriarchal beadle had all
of civilisation. This opportunity of W JfflHb along exercised a bind of parental despotism
gratifying the Engli.-h author, and the ^iSlir ✓ over the little j*m'^T- and they might oft □
student of English letters, has only MKB WMBmgf be seen, at the close of dav,drinking together
been obtained by a party of gentlemen MmSBr the beer of urbanity from the pot of social
intercourse. One afternoon lately, ere the
simple Arcadians had retired to the fast-
at the Royal Institution. They are
two men, two women, and a bahy—of
the Book-men tribe from the Brord-
weigh ; and are the first that, from
their unprincipled and thievish habits,
(connected with the Literary Fu'd) who
have brought the Book-men to England
at an immense outlay of capital, with
the Christian view of enlightening
the minds of these North-American
savages, and if possible, of reclaiming them from their degrading and
disgusting habits. On the passage to Europe the baby was born at sea.
Now, had ihe baby (it is a boy) been born in the Brordweigh, there is
but little doubt that, bred to the customs of these forlorn Book-men
—who do not know another man's property from their own—the
poor child would have been as morally lost as its unhappy parents ;
but there is now every hope that the child will be placed iu Paternoster
Row, and brought up in the respect of good men's good works.
These people are called Book-men, from their custom of living upon
leaves of every kind. Indeed, they will gobble any substance upon
which anything can be written or printed ; the leaves of the talipot,
properly sauced with printer's ink—-the bulrush, whereof was made
the ancient papyrus, bark, parchment, anything soever that is printed
upon—these Book-men will greedily devour. But there must be ink
—printer's ink—English ink—enshrining the brains of English authors,
their brains, and heart, and blood—to make it particularly palatable
to these benighted Book-men, who are sometimes known under 'he
compound name of Amer ic-anp ubl is-hers. As an instance of ihe
ravenousness of the tribe for this kind of nutriment, we may inform
the reader that the baby of these B^ok-men lived upon a numher of
Dombey and Son, rolled into something like a sugar-stick, half ihe
voyage.
The following is from a modern author's work on The North-
American Book-men :—
" Miserable Bookman ! Thy hand has been against every one ! For
generations past thou hast hunted the English author like the beaver
or the civet-cat ; thou hast followed him like the wild ostrich, and
not caring to meet his eye, hast robbed him of muny a Tale. Depriving
the BritLh author of what Nature made his own—(but what the
Congress of the freest nation upon airih opmionates he has a just
right to be robbed of)—thou hast become cruel, fierce, insolent, and
—in short, a nuisance."
(For particulars and habits of these Book-men see reprints of
English books).
We are happy to state that several worthy Christians in and about
Paternoster Row—with oth'r go >d men at the Wps" End—evince tlie
greatest interest in the ameliorrttion of the condition of these people ;
and will spare no pains to teach them the simple lesson of meum and
tuum.
We, moreover, understand that Messrs. Longman have—with their
characteristic benevolence and liberality—offered to take the poor bahy
Book-man, and bring him up, decently and honestly, in their own
house. We trust they will be permitted to do this ; otherwise, there
nesses of their respective huts, a savage,
armed with a writ, came to spread terror in their hearts, and furniture
all over their pavement. The ruffian, aided by another of his unfeeling
class, had got &fi.fa., and, with a shout like that of—
" Fl FA fO FEE fum,
1 smell the goods of an Englishman,"
he pounced upon the " little all " of an artificer of fa< cy slippers. Wild
shrieks instantly rent the air of that little mclosure—the Vaucluse, or
Val Chiuso of the Briti-h Metropolis. The good old beadle, startled
from his post-matutinal dose, was instantly on his legs, and, grasping
instincively his official staff, approached the scene whence the cry of
distress had arisen. There he foui d a table, evidently on its last legs,
giving creaks of agony as it was being torn away from the spot; while
its affectionate owner, folding its flaps to his bosom—like the green
leaves of hope—clung to its claws with passionate energy.
From the room above a cruel attempt was being made to let down a
sort of sofa ; while a frautic voice screamed out, " Ye shall not lay low
the ottoman!" The beadle had only time to mutter to himself—
Woman in distress!" before he was at the scene of confusioD ; and,
throwing himself into a majestic attitude, with upraised staff, before
the shop door, his sentiments formed themselves into blank verse
without any effort:—
" How now ! What -s this ? Hallo there ! "Who are you ?
Come, come ! You '11 leave that chair alone, young man.
A writ, pooh ! pooh ! so, so, if that's the dodge,
You '11 please to look at this, and this, and this."
As he spoke the last line, he suited the action to the word, by
producing three several distresses for three distinct
quarters' rents which had never been enforced, and
whieh he contended gave him a prior claim to the
goods that were the subject of the struggle. The
bailiff barbarian sneered in the face of the good old
man, who suddenly, from a mere lamb, sprang up
into a semblance of a lion. His eyes flashing with
recent double X, his nostrils dilating with dignity,
and his whiskers twinkling with electric fire, like
that on the back of a cat, when its back is regularly
up, he sprang upon the table, and taking an attitude of defiance,
defied the bailiff to
" touch it, with but a look."
The man of law was for a moment abashed ; but renewing the
struggle, he had nearly succeeded in carrying off his prize, wh n the
beadle, knowing the geography of the place,
bounded off towards the western postern,
is every fear that the child, on returning to Nooyorck, will join the fc f whit.h he SPCUred b lock ar,d k £ wif£
pestilent tribe of Amer-ic-anp-ubl-is-hers; a race more brutal than the II / havir alread taken the hint ai)d'barripaded
Cherokees, more ferocious than the Iroquois. the eastern frontier. The result was a parley,
_ ffiH and it ended in the bdliff being' obliged to
Dreadful Complaint.
march out with the honours—and raps on the
knuckles — of war, leaving the bead'e s^Ie
master of the field ; upon which, after the
The prevalent, complaint, in the City, is that the Bank is labouring / ^rs* excitement had passed, he "cried like a
under a severe tightness across its money-chest. If something is not .JL_rf3S-^^^_jL- child," and buried his head in a small basket of
speedily done to relieve the old ladv, there is no knowing what the
consequences will be. Trade and Commerce (who are dependent for
their daily support, and are generally fed by the Bank with a gold and
silver spoon) are completely paralysed for the want of their usual food.
Persons who know their cases the best, declare that Trade and
Commerce must certainly die of inanition if the Bank does not
toys, to conceal his emotion.
It is true victory crowned the efforts of the Arcadians ; but the
chaumiere had been desecrated; and as the Eastern yellow-hammernever
returns to the nest once looked upon by human eye, the debtor no
longer finds repose in the dwelling that has fallen under the falcon
glance of his creditor. In either case the twig must be for ever
immediately give " a little bullion," or something nourishing, just to hopped; and such has been the result of the scene we have been
keep them alive. describing.