DOI issue:
January to June, 1847
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16544#0275
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
265
I please, but do not sacrifice the moustache which has so long adorned
MADFRN STREETOLOGY ! it; or else, have a care, Sire," continued the faithful Minister, iu a
muutniN o r\cc uluu . voice of guffocating emotion5 <>the hairs of your Majesty's head are
Stkbbtology is a modern science, but, like many other of the numbered." "Monamije porte wie perruque," was His Majesty's only
•modern sciences, the more we advance in it, the further are we off from reply- „ , ,. , . ., ^
understanding it. The present cry is for wide streets, and accordingly J™f nth.-X deputation of ladies has waited upon the Queen at
wide streets reformed; but, like the gentleman who built a house Neuilly She was moved by the cries of the petitioners and has
without a staircase, our architects plan wide streets without any con- promised to take the moustaches of France m hand. Confidence is
federation how we are to get into them, or how we are to get out of. restored, and this evening there was seen in the Boulevard des Itahens
them Thus we get plenty of streets, but no thoroughfares ; for every a rifwmon of the most popular barbes of Pans Every variety of
new way of any extent or importance is remarkable for its beginning moustache attended and the meeting was made still more formidable
at a place from which no one ever comes, and ending in a quarter to by tbe. adhesion of the "imperials, who are naturally alarmed at this
which no one is ever going. We have magnificent preparations made peeping state of things, as they consider that if the moustaches fall,
for opening a communication between Cook's Court and Jones's Build- *hey wlU h.e cut off the a8 the two have generally hung together
ines but the approach from Cheapside to Blackfriars is still narrow, Great excitement prevailed at ten o clock, when it was announced at
tortuous, and often inaccessible. *he 0ercU tna* the M.rquis de Vieuxcarambole and Jules de
Funambule, who are known to be two of the most extensive whisker-
growers throughout France, had joined the Moustachio-League. The
Funds have fallen three centimes.
June \2th.—The marchands de cire-a-moustache have presented a pe-
tition to the Chamber of Deputies, in which they prove that if the
moustaches go, they must go also, as their merchandise is only of that
nature which enables them to live from " hand to mouth."
Twelve o'clock.—There is an alarming report at the Hotel Vantini
that Eugene Sue has shaved off his moustache. This report, however,
is disbelieved by those who know how much Eugene loved it. Alex-
andre Domas, however, has declared. " sur la parole d'un gentilhomme"
which cannot be disbelieved, that he has seen the moustache in a black
frame, suspended with immortelles, in poor Sue's bed-room, with the
following epitaph underneath it : "A mon plus fidele ami, qui ne m'a
jamais quitte pour 25 ans." Victor Hugo is writing an Ode to it.
Two o'clock.—The Doctrinaires declare that this tyranny of shaving
off what a Frenchman clings to, of all others, with the greatest tenacity,
is grounded upon the fortifications of Paris, in which it was evident
the great plan of Louis-Philippe was to "raser toute la capitale, et de
ce coup faire la barbe ii toute la France."
June 13th.—There has been a long discussion in the Chamber of
Deputies.—Monsieur Thiers vehemently stigmatised this odious law,
in a speech of four hours, as a master-stroke on the part of Louis-
Philippe to renew the entente cordiale, by sending up the price of
English razors and the 'Savon de Vindsor.
Ten o'clock.—The Prince de Joinville has joined the insurgents.
The entire fleet is with him. The army is also on the side of the
Momtachionistes. All the barbers have fled from Pari*. The complexion
of affairs is getting blacker every day. Queen Christina has sent in
The nomenclature of new streets is conducted on the same absurd , word *° tbe Council of the League that she gives her entire counte-
principle. The boldest ways have the meanest appellations, while the i nanceLto the cause- B°u *>as done ^ sama .nThe excitement
most illustrious titles are given to the dirtiest lanes and the humblest i spreads every hour ; there is no knowing where it wfll stop. It is re-
alleys. We find Smith Streets with foot-pavements twelve feet wide, i Ported that the Pkince de Joinville has been arrested and shaved in a
while Waterloo Street is in some remote hole, through which Welling- | m?st Prefaced manner, a lapotnte de la baionette, as an example to others.
ton could never have brought up a van half the size of one of Joxlien's. I The Prince has not been seen, but his friends say he is too much cut up
The only really appropriately-styled thoroughfare we know of is Little1 m °T ^acf- _ , , . , .„
Brougham Street, somewhere in Bermondsey, which winds about in the ; Twelve o clock.—Two ministers have thrown up their portefeuiUes
most extraordinary manner—now assuming an openness, and even a! sooner than resign their moustaches. Marshal Soult has been
grandeur, that frequently belong to its prototype; and now falling away
into the most meandering and most eccentric courses conceivable.
If we were to move for—and get—a return of the amount of streets
monopolised by such ordinary names as John, Robert, Thomas, and
George, to say nothing of our old friend Smith, we should find the
three first by themselves in possession of at least half the entire
Metropolis. We hope that one of the earliest motions made in the
new Parliament will be for a Committee to inquire into the expediency
of erasing at least one half of the Roberts, Johns, Georges, and
Smiths from the Directory, or street statute-book.
ANOTHER FRENCH REVOLUTION!
All the clerks and persons employed by the French Government
have received orders to shave off their moustaches. This daring attack
upon the liberty of the person and the best affections of La Jeune
Frcmce has not been made without the strongest precautions having
been previously taken by the military authorities to suppress any
public outbreak. The fortifications round Paris have been reinforced
doubly strong, and the artillerymen of Vincennes have been ordered to
stand to their guns with lighted matches, and to fire upon the capital
at the very first demonstration of a seditious movement. We subjoin
the latest intelligence we have received upon this, the greatest epoch
which has occurred in French history since the three days of July.
June 10$..—Louis-Philippe has retreated to Neuilly. His ministers
have entreated him upon their knees to rescind the fatal order. His
Majesty was firm, and excused himself by saying he was determined to
put a new face upon France. " Oh, Sire ! " exclaimed Guizot in an
attitude of supplication, " alter the face of France as much as you
closeted with a soap-brush for these three days. The last time the
servant looked at him through the key-hole the old veteran was ob-
served to be in tears. He evidently could not nerve his hand—that
brave hand which has never trembled before—for the fatal blow. The
Marshal's moustache is supposed to be in its fiftieth summer.
Three o'clock.—The public offices are all closed. All those holding
Government appointments and moustaches have resigned, and as
every person in France who has an appointment has also a moustache,
there is not a person left to carry on the government. All the ministries
are deserted. It is expected that the navy will next resign,and then the
army, in which case Louis-Philippe must abdicate, or else rescind the
unpopular order. In the meantime he has thrown himself upon the
fortifications of Paris. May they be a soft cushion to receive him in
his fall!
We shall publish the progress of this revolution, which hitherto
has been carried on without the spilling of a single drop of blood,—
excepting in the case of the martyr Sue, who, in removing the left
moustache, slightly cut himself,—in editions, if necessary, every
quarter-of-an-hour. We have six electric telegraphs working night
and day on the different roads. Let us hope the heir to the throne—
the Comte de Paris, who at present is too young to side one way or
the other—will not be ultimately cut off by a coup de rasoirl
DOUBLY HAZARDOUS.
The Insurance Offices intend introducing a clause into their policies
to the effect that no insurance will be paid when the life has been
lost on a railway. The risk is considered now to be infinitely greater
than that of a sea voyage.
265
I please, but do not sacrifice the moustache which has so long adorned
MADFRN STREETOLOGY ! it; or else, have a care, Sire," continued the faithful Minister, iu a
muutniN o r\cc uluu . voice of guffocating emotion5 <>the hairs of your Majesty's head are
Stkbbtology is a modern science, but, like many other of the numbered." "Monamije porte wie perruque," was His Majesty's only
•modern sciences, the more we advance in it, the further are we off from reply- „ , ,. , . ., ^
understanding it. The present cry is for wide streets, and accordingly J™f nth.-X deputation of ladies has waited upon the Queen at
wide streets reformed; but, like the gentleman who built a house Neuilly She was moved by the cries of the petitioners and has
without a staircase, our architects plan wide streets without any con- promised to take the moustaches of France m hand. Confidence is
federation how we are to get into them, or how we are to get out of. restored, and this evening there was seen in the Boulevard des Itahens
them Thus we get plenty of streets, but no thoroughfares ; for every a rifwmon of the most popular barbes of Pans Every variety of
new way of any extent or importance is remarkable for its beginning moustache attended and the meeting was made still more formidable
at a place from which no one ever comes, and ending in a quarter to by tbe. adhesion of the "imperials, who are naturally alarmed at this
which no one is ever going. We have magnificent preparations made peeping state of things, as they consider that if the moustaches fall,
for opening a communication between Cook's Court and Jones's Build- *hey wlU h.e cut off the a8 the two have generally hung together
ines but the approach from Cheapside to Blackfriars is still narrow, Great excitement prevailed at ten o clock, when it was announced at
tortuous, and often inaccessible. *he 0ercU tna* the M.rquis de Vieuxcarambole and Jules de
Funambule, who are known to be two of the most extensive whisker-
growers throughout France, had joined the Moustachio-League. The
Funds have fallen three centimes.
June \2th.—The marchands de cire-a-moustache have presented a pe-
tition to the Chamber of Deputies, in which they prove that if the
moustaches go, they must go also, as their merchandise is only of that
nature which enables them to live from " hand to mouth."
Twelve o'clock.—There is an alarming report at the Hotel Vantini
that Eugene Sue has shaved off his moustache. This report, however,
is disbelieved by those who know how much Eugene loved it. Alex-
andre Domas, however, has declared. " sur la parole d'un gentilhomme"
which cannot be disbelieved, that he has seen the moustache in a black
frame, suspended with immortelles, in poor Sue's bed-room, with the
following epitaph underneath it : "A mon plus fidele ami, qui ne m'a
jamais quitte pour 25 ans." Victor Hugo is writing an Ode to it.
Two o'clock.—The Doctrinaires declare that this tyranny of shaving
off what a Frenchman clings to, of all others, with the greatest tenacity,
is grounded upon the fortifications of Paris, in which it was evident
the great plan of Louis-Philippe was to "raser toute la capitale, et de
ce coup faire la barbe ii toute la France."
June 13th.—There has been a long discussion in the Chamber of
Deputies.—Monsieur Thiers vehemently stigmatised this odious law,
in a speech of four hours, as a master-stroke on the part of Louis-
Philippe to renew the entente cordiale, by sending up the price of
English razors and the 'Savon de Vindsor.
Ten o'clock.—The Prince de Joinville has joined the insurgents.
The entire fleet is with him. The army is also on the side of the
Momtachionistes. All the barbers have fled from Pari*. The complexion
of affairs is getting blacker every day. Queen Christina has sent in
The nomenclature of new streets is conducted on the same absurd , word *° tbe Council of the League that she gives her entire counte-
principle. The boldest ways have the meanest appellations, while the i nanceLto the cause- B°u *>as done ^ sama .nThe excitement
most illustrious titles are given to the dirtiest lanes and the humblest i spreads every hour ; there is no knowing where it wfll stop. It is re-
alleys. We find Smith Streets with foot-pavements twelve feet wide, i Ported that the Pkince de Joinville has been arrested and shaved in a
while Waterloo Street is in some remote hole, through which Welling- | m?st Prefaced manner, a lapotnte de la baionette, as an example to others.
ton could never have brought up a van half the size of one of Joxlien's. I The Prince has not been seen, but his friends say he is too much cut up
The only really appropriately-styled thoroughfare we know of is Little1 m °T ^acf- _ , , . , .„
Brougham Street, somewhere in Bermondsey, which winds about in the ; Twelve o clock.—Two ministers have thrown up their portefeuiUes
most extraordinary manner—now assuming an openness, and even a! sooner than resign their moustaches. Marshal Soult has been
grandeur, that frequently belong to its prototype; and now falling away
into the most meandering and most eccentric courses conceivable.
If we were to move for—and get—a return of the amount of streets
monopolised by such ordinary names as John, Robert, Thomas, and
George, to say nothing of our old friend Smith, we should find the
three first by themselves in possession of at least half the entire
Metropolis. We hope that one of the earliest motions made in the
new Parliament will be for a Committee to inquire into the expediency
of erasing at least one half of the Roberts, Johns, Georges, and
Smiths from the Directory, or street statute-book.
ANOTHER FRENCH REVOLUTION!
All the clerks and persons employed by the French Government
have received orders to shave off their moustaches. This daring attack
upon the liberty of the person and the best affections of La Jeune
Frcmce has not been made without the strongest precautions having
been previously taken by the military authorities to suppress any
public outbreak. The fortifications round Paris have been reinforced
doubly strong, and the artillerymen of Vincennes have been ordered to
stand to their guns with lighted matches, and to fire upon the capital
at the very first demonstration of a seditious movement. We subjoin
the latest intelligence we have received upon this, the greatest epoch
which has occurred in French history since the three days of July.
June 10$..—Louis-Philippe has retreated to Neuilly. His ministers
have entreated him upon their knees to rescind the fatal order. His
Majesty was firm, and excused himself by saying he was determined to
put a new face upon France. " Oh, Sire ! " exclaimed Guizot in an
attitude of supplication, " alter the face of France as much as you
closeted with a soap-brush for these three days. The last time the
servant looked at him through the key-hole the old veteran was ob-
served to be in tears. He evidently could not nerve his hand—that
brave hand which has never trembled before—for the fatal blow. The
Marshal's moustache is supposed to be in its fiftieth summer.
Three o'clock.—The public offices are all closed. All those holding
Government appointments and moustaches have resigned, and as
every person in France who has an appointment has also a moustache,
there is not a person left to carry on the government. All the ministries
are deserted. It is expected that the navy will next resign,and then the
army, in which case Louis-Philippe must abdicate, or else rescind the
unpopular order. In the meantime he has thrown himself upon the
fortifications of Paris. May they be a soft cushion to receive him in
his fall!
We shall publish the progress of this revolution, which hitherto
has been carried on without the spilling of a single drop of blood,—
excepting in the case of the martyr Sue, who, in removing the left
moustache, slightly cut himself,—in editions, if necessary, every
quarter-of-an-hour. We have six electric telegraphs working night
and day on the different roads. Let us hope the heir to the throne—
the Comte de Paris, who at present is too young to side one way or
the other—will not be ultimately cut off by a coup de rasoirl
DOUBLY HAZARDOUS.
The Insurance Offices intend introducing a clause into their policies
to the effect that no insurance will be paid when the life has been
lost on a railway. The risk is considered now to be infinitely greater
than that of a sea voyage.