Punch (14.1848)

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

33

OUR BARRY-EUX TAPESTRY.

To Charles Barry, Esq., B.A.

Sir,—Allow me to offer you a contribution to the decoration of
the House of Lords. It is a series of designs for Tapestry, commemo-
rating the invasion which is to come off shortly. The designs are my
own. The tapestry will be worked by the fair hands of Judy and
our daughter. It will be strictly in character with the building, "bran-
new and intensely old." It is also, like the building, a copy, in general
character, if not in detail. My original is the well-known Bayenx
Tapestrv, which commemorates the first French invasion of these islands,
under William the Conqueror. As you have raised a middle-age build-
ing for modern senators, with middle-age decorations for modern

debates, and middle-age characters for modern inscriptions, I beg to
offer my middle-age representation of a modern event—if that may be
called modern which is yet in the bosom of the future. I send with
the designs a poem in old spelling, to be printed in black-letter, de-
scribing, as they described in the twelfth century, circumstances antici-
pated in the nineteenth. I trust my designs and my verses will be
found in strict harmony with your noble modern-antique Houses of
Parliament, and beg leave to subscribe myself,

Your servant and admirer,

Punch.

G-REATE^HYTYIVE- THIS.JS.V'.PRVhGtPE J&INVUIE>

1 trow 'twere sore to telle Ye broode of Gallic cocke, On Albion ye perfidious

What sorrowes there befelle, Defying rolle and rocke, Came down with onslaughte hideous,

When from Boulogne, Cherbourg, Havre, Across ye Channele sailing Up to all by lande or water,

With musquet armed and sabre, With retching and with railing, Prom pitch-and-tosse unto manslaughter.

SUNDAY BALLS.

The Duke's Invasion Letter has been a great relief to thousands.
And after this fashion. Almost every man carries about with him
some absurdity, which awaits but the proper moment to be uttered, and
so, for a time at least, to relieve the bearer. The world has its periods
of madness and of folly. Old as it is, it runs round and round its circle of
whims and diseases. _ Now it has—or thinks it has—so much money
m its pockets, that it cannot spend it fast enough: and now, with
wealth inexhaustible it believes itself within an inch of an Universal
Union. Folks who feared an invasion, authorised by Lord Ellesmere
k ^race, have sai(i their say 5 have contributed their quota of
absurdity; and, satisfied with the effort, may now rest content for life.
Not that we think quite enough has been done with the Invasion Pever.
W e are certainly surprised—seeing what a nostrum-loving people we
are—that no new Morrison has arisen, with a specific against fear of
the French. We think an Invasion Pill would have gone down. Of
course, the consumption would have varied with different places ; folks
on the sea-shore requiring a double dose compared with those more and
more inland.

If, however, we are not to have Pills, we are at least offered Balls—
bunday Balls—as the only preventive of the French in England. A lively
correspondent in the Chronicle suggests that the great mass of the people
should be divided off into shooting companies, and that they should

tram and practise on a Sunday." Gunpowder would have a more
precious smell on the seventh day:

" Exercising grounds should be prepared in the environs of railways, and the com-
panies should carry the National Guard gratuitously to and from their destination. The

men, carried gratuitously, -would probably pay for the passage of wife and family, and
all would get fresh air."

The smell of hawthorn and gunpowder—the shooting of rifles and
corn! A very pretty association of the productive and destructive.
And then the children would be so early accustomed to military
matters, that they would be able to stand fire before they quitted the
breast; and when they cut their teeth, instead of a coral, would cut
them on ball-cartridge.

We think, too, the spirit would spread among the wives. After a
little while, we should expect a very large Amazonian force. The Cri-
noline Bangers, the Boa Bifles, the Manchester Ginghams, the Dunstable
Straws, the Queen's Blue-Stockings, would sound quite as well as the
Connaughts, the Coldstreams, and the Buffs.

Again, how beautifully would women blend the domestic and maternal
delights of life with these martial doings ! For when the shooting was
over, how delightful it would be for the husbands and sweethearts to
form into a hollow square, whilst the women inside made tea. And
even before, whilst the mother practised at the bull's-eye, the babe—
early educated—might suck it. We ask it, is not this the way to keep up
the patriotic spirit ? Sunday Balls for men and women, and brandy-
balls for children.

the bishop of tuam.

Certain of the Irish have expressed their " delight and gratitude "
to Doctor M'Hale " for the contempt" with which he has treated the
Earl of Shrewsbury's letter. It was an easy matter for the Doctor.
A man who has received so much of a commodity, may surely spare a
little.

Vol. 14.