DOI issue:
January to June, 1848
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16546#0181
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
173
PUNCH'S POLICE.
ueen Square. — A
gaunt, oldish-looking
boy, who, turning up
his nose at the magis-
trate, gave his name as
Henry Brougham,
was charged with
having attempted to
injure Pio Nono,
present Pope of Rome,
hv squirting at his
Holiness a quantity of
gutter-mud.
It appeared that
some evenings ago an
Italian was going
down Parliament
Street, carrying upon
his head a collection
of plaster-casts, mo-
dern and antique.
The Italian belonged
to that humble but
useful class of the
cognoscenti who have
THE LION, THE COCK, AND THE EAGLES.
Storm-clouds were over Europe, light slept on England's breast,
The nations heaved with earthquake throes, but England was at rest:
A cry went up from Passaro unto the Baltic shore,
And every tongue but England's had its echo in the roar.
The couchant Lion from his cliff looked o'er the Channel-sea,
To where the smoke wreathed o'er the wave its sulphurous canopy;
His ear erect, his big fore-paws stretched, claw-sheathed, out at length,
And in his eye the calm that comes from consciousness of strength.
Hark, hurtling wings and hurried ! What flight thus cleaves the smoke ?
The Gallic Cock—his mate and chicks—his crow changed to a croak,
Eorlorn they stand about the strand, and cheep—all limp and lame—
Cock missing hen, hen missing cock, for they scattered as they came.
Still looked the Lion o'er the sea, where the storm lay black as night,
When he was 'ware, high up in air, of a strange and sudden sight-
Two huge black Eagles—double-beaked—their lean necks iron crowned,
At buffets with a screaming flight of their own eaglets round.
and painted parrots from the shelves of country parlours and cot
tages: placing in their stead the forms and faces of beauty and genius.
The Italian was one of the serviceable wayfarers, complimented by
Mr. William Wordsworth :—
A ruffled mass of tossing plumes, red beaks, and rending claws,
Dashed ail about the northern heavens—and then a panting pause—
And those two monster Eagles reeled bloody from the cloud
Of their own eaglets' battle—crest-fallen, conquered, cowed.
The Emperor Vulture of the North, from his Carpathian height
Looked with a restless anger on that stern but short-lived fight;
And uneasily kept pacing his eyrie to and fro,
done so much to abo- j And spread his broad black wing to hide from his brood whatpassed below
lish the spotted cats Then thought the Lion> « So it is_a lesson written plain-
I only, among beasts or birds, hold peaceable domain.
The Gallic Cock was crafty, the Almaine Eagles strong—
But what are craftiness and strength, with folly, fraud, and wrong ?
" Or thro' our hamlets thou wilt bear
The sightless Milton, with his hair
Around his placid tempies curl'd;
And Shakspeake at his side—a freight
If clay could think and mind were weight,
For him who bore the world."
Well, this harmless Italian paused to rest his load in' Parliament
Street—his load of grace, and worth, and beauty. There was Bailey's
Soe, with Field-Marshal Prince Albert, and, among other notables,
the bust of Pius the Ninth. The complainant deposed, that, a friend
with a barrel-organ coming up, they began to talk about the glorious
regeneration of Italy, when the defendant passed them. ''Regeneration!
Humbug!" said the defendant, making a m^uth, and going on. Know-
ing the offender, from his much frequenting the neighbourhood, the
Italian took no notice of his insolence. However, in a few minutes he
was covered with filthy water; and, looking round, he saw the defendant
kneeling beside a gutter, and filling a squirt. Watched him, and saw
him deliberately attempt to squirt mud upon the bust of the Pope : the
filth, however, fell quite short of the mark, and the bust remained as
pure as ever.
The magistrate, commenting very severely upon such dirty conduct,
asked the defendant what he had to say for himself?
The defendant, with inimitable assurance, said his worship was a
humbug—the Pope was a humbug—the complainant was a humbug—in
fact, that all the world, save one individual christened Henry, was a
humbug of the most forlorn and crass description. As for what he had
done, it was his pleasure—in fact he had no other enjoyment—to squirt
dirty water at everybody and everything. He had squirted ink at
George the Fourth, and very lately at the King of Sardinia. He
had squirted at Pius the Ninth, and for the same reason that he
would squirt at the man in the moon; namely, for the light and lustre
that surrounded him.
The magistrate expressed the strongest regret that there was no law
to reach the offender.
" I know that: I know the law," said the defendant; " I know how
far I can enjoy mischief and never pay for it. I say, old fellow," added
the hardened old boy, winking at the magistrate, " perhaps you don't
know who signed 'Pugnose' to the Chartist humbug; but / do."
And again the defendant impudently winked, and again the magis-
trate regretted that there was no law to reach him.
" In the shrillest of his crowing, the Cock is chased from power;
In the fiercest of their swooping, the Almaine Eagles cower ;
I only hold untroubled rule o'er beasts of fold and field—
I, that know the strength of weakness, yield to keep, and keep to yield,
"All beasts I take to council—the Fox's craft I share
With the Elephant's sagacity, the brute-force of the Bear,
The wisdom of the Serpent, the mildness of the Dove ;
I mate majesty with meekness, and wrathfulness with love.
" When the Ass insists on braying, the Ass is free to bray;
When the Bull-dog's bent on growling, I give his growl free way;
All my Macaws may scream their screams, my Parrots speak their speech,
All my Quacks, Professors, Preachers, may puff, profess, or preach.
" I hold a time for all things—admit each fact a fact—
See 1 he world changing round me, and with it change in act.
I look on nought as final, save the Good, and Just, and Right;
With these for backers, what care I under what flag I fight ?
"Jostle it out among ye, blind leaders of the blind,
The windy empire of the Birds is little to my mind.
Light as your bodies float through air, so light your minds may range
Erom theory to theory, from endless change to change.
" Ye shall not stir the Lion from out his island lair,
In your brawlings, and your bluster, and your bickerings to share;
He keeps here in his quiet nook, ringed by the salt sea-foam,
For all opinion a retreat—for all distress a home."
Blister and 'Ounds.
Fearsus O'Connor tells us he received ninety wounds on one
occasion at Manchester. Are we to take this number as accurate, or
to knock off the same liberal discount which reduced the signatures of
the Chartist Petition one-fifth? Eighteen wounds are not bad, and we
think Feargus ought to be content with our generous taxation. Many
persons would not have allowed him a single one. As it is, we may say
(ifthe reader and Cuffey will forgive us) that how he has survived
it, is a perfect wounder!!!
JOKES ABSOLUTELY THROWN AWAY.
Several constables' staffs, on the memorable Chartist-Petition-
Failure, were made of Gutta Percha. We wonder such a fruitful sub-
ject has escaped joking. The soluble qualities of the " best substitute
for caoutchouc " seem to melt almost into a rich cream of jokes. For
instance, we can imagine its being said that Gutta Percha was selected
purposely to enable the constables to stick to their duty. Again, we
can fancy it probable some daring humourist would hint that such a
material naturally was chosen to enable the Chartists, by being sworn
in, to prove their adhesion to the Government; or, in any case, there
was a good chance of some one facetiously observing that the staff was
put into their hands so that, in the event of their displaying any
turbulent warmth, they would be bound down to keep the piece.
We hope, when such a subject presents itself again, it will not be
allowftd to pass with the same neglect which universal jokers have
passed upon it this time, or else we shall have to reprimand our young
pupils severely. ____
infra dig.
A Market Gardener calls the rage for Trees of Liberty in Paris, and
thinking they will survive, " only a pop'lar delusion."
173
PUNCH'S POLICE.
ueen Square. — A
gaunt, oldish-looking
boy, who, turning up
his nose at the magis-
trate, gave his name as
Henry Brougham,
was charged with
having attempted to
injure Pio Nono,
present Pope of Rome,
hv squirting at his
Holiness a quantity of
gutter-mud.
It appeared that
some evenings ago an
Italian was going
down Parliament
Street, carrying upon
his head a collection
of plaster-casts, mo-
dern and antique.
The Italian belonged
to that humble but
useful class of the
cognoscenti who have
THE LION, THE COCK, AND THE EAGLES.
Storm-clouds were over Europe, light slept on England's breast,
The nations heaved with earthquake throes, but England was at rest:
A cry went up from Passaro unto the Baltic shore,
And every tongue but England's had its echo in the roar.
The couchant Lion from his cliff looked o'er the Channel-sea,
To where the smoke wreathed o'er the wave its sulphurous canopy;
His ear erect, his big fore-paws stretched, claw-sheathed, out at length,
And in his eye the calm that comes from consciousness of strength.
Hark, hurtling wings and hurried ! What flight thus cleaves the smoke ?
The Gallic Cock—his mate and chicks—his crow changed to a croak,
Eorlorn they stand about the strand, and cheep—all limp and lame—
Cock missing hen, hen missing cock, for they scattered as they came.
Still looked the Lion o'er the sea, where the storm lay black as night,
When he was 'ware, high up in air, of a strange and sudden sight-
Two huge black Eagles—double-beaked—their lean necks iron crowned,
At buffets with a screaming flight of their own eaglets round.
and painted parrots from the shelves of country parlours and cot
tages: placing in their stead the forms and faces of beauty and genius.
The Italian was one of the serviceable wayfarers, complimented by
Mr. William Wordsworth :—
A ruffled mass of tossing plumes, red beaks, and rending claws,
Dashed ail about the northern heavens—and then a panting pause—
And those two monster Eagles reeled bloody from the cloud
Of their own eaglets' battle—crest-fallen, conquered, cowed.
The Emperor Vulture of the North, from his Carpathian height
Looked with a restless anger on that stern but short-lived fight;
And uneasily kept pacing his eyrie to and fro,
done so much to abo- j And spread his broad black wing to hide from his brood whatpassed below
lish the spotted cats Then thought the Lion> « So it is_a lesson written plain-
I only, among beasts or birds, hold peaceable domain.
The Gallic Cock was crafty, the Almaine Eagles strong—
But what are craftiness and strength, with folly, fraud, and wrong ?
" Or thro' our hamlets thou wilt bear
The sightless Milton, with his hair
Around his placid tempies curl'd;
And Shakspeake at his side—a freight
If clay could think and mind were weight,
For him who bore the world."
Well, this harmless Italian paused to rest his load in' Parliament
Street—his load of grace, and worth, and beauty. There was Bailey's
Soe, with Field-Marshal Prince Albert, and, among other notables,
the bust of Pius the Ninth. The complainant deposed, that, a friend
with a barrel-organ coming up, they began to talk about the glorious
regeneration of Italy, when the defendant passed them. ''Regeneration!
Humbug!" said the defendant, making a m^uth, and going on. Know-
ing the offender, from his much frequenting the neighbourhood, the
Italian took no notice of his insolence. However, in a few minutes he
was covered with filthy water; and, looking round, he saw the defendant
kneeling beside a gutter, and filling a squirt. Watched him, and saw
him deliberately attempt to squirt mud upon the bust of the Pope : the
filth, however, fell quite short of the mark, and the bust remained as
pure as ever.
The magistrate, commenting very severely upon such dirty conduct,
asked the defendant what he had to say for himself?
The defendant, with inimitable assurance, said his worship was a
humbug—the Pope was a humbug—the complainant was a humbug—in
fact, that all the world, save one individual christened Henry, was a
humbug of the most forlorn and crass description. As for what he had
done, it was his pleasure—in fact he had no other enjoyment—to squirt
dirty water at everybody and everything. He had squirted ink at
George the Fourth, and very lately at the King of Sardinia. He
had squirted at Pius the Ninth, and for the same reason that he
would squirt at the man in the moon; namely, for the light and lustre
that surrounded him.
The magistrate expressed the strongest regret that there was no law
to reach the offender.
" I know that: I know the law," said the defendant; " I know how
far I can enjoy mischief and never pay for it. I say, old fellow," added
the hardened old boy, winking at the magistrate, " perhaps you don't
know who signed 'Pugnose' to the Chartist humbug; but / do."
And again the defendant impudently winked, and again the magis-
trate regretted that there was no law to reach him.
" In the shrillest of his crowing, the Cock is chased from power;
In the fiercest of their swooping, the Almaine Eagles cower ;
I only hold untroubled rule o'er beasts of fold and field—
I, that know the strength of weakness, yield to keep, and keep to yield,
"All beasts I take to council—the Fox's craft I share
With the Elephant's sagacity, the brute-force of the Bear,
The wisdom of the Serpent, the mildness of the Dove ;
I mate majesty with meekness, and wrathfulness with love.
" When the Ass insists on braying, the Ass is free to bray;
When the Bull-dog's bent on growling, I give his growl free way;
All my Macaws may scream their screams, my Parrots speak their speech,
All my Quacks, Professors, Preachers, may puff, profess, or preach.
" I hold a time for all things—admit each fact a fact—
See 1 he world changing round me, and with it change in act.
I look on nought as final, save the Good, and Just, and Right;
With these for backers, what care I under what flag I fight ?
"Jostle it out among ye, blind leaders of the blind,
The windy empire of the Birds is little to my mind.
Light as your bodies float through air, so light your minds may range
Erom theory to theory, from endless change to change.
" Ye shall not stir the Lion from out his island lair,
In your brawlings, and your bluster, and your bickerings to share;
He keeps here in his quiet nook, ringed by the salt sea-foam,
For all opinion a retreat—for all distress a home."
Blister and 'Ounds.
Fearsus O'Connor tells us he received ninety wounds on one
occasion at Manchester. Are we to take this number as accurate, or
to knock off the same liberal discount which reduced the signatures of
the Chartist Petition one-fifth? Eighteen wounds are not bad, and we
think Feargus ought to be content with our generous taxation. Many
persons would not have allowed him a single one. As it is, we may say
(ifthe reader and Cuffey will forgive us) that how he has survived
it, is a perfect wounder!!!
JOKES ABSOLUTELY THROWN AWAY.
Several constables' staffs, on the memorable Chartist-Petition-
Failure, were made of Gutta Percha. We wonder such a fruitful sub-
ject has escaped joking. The soluble qualities of the " best substitute
for caoutchouc " seem to melt almost into a rich cream of jokes. For
instance, we can imagine its being said that Gutta Percha was selected
purposely to enable the constables to stick to their duty. Again, we
can fancy it probable some daring humourist would hint that such a
material naturally was chosen to enable the Chartists, by being sworn
in, to prove their adhesion to the Government; or, in any case, there
was a good chance of some one facetiously observing that the staff was
put into their hands so that, in the event of their displaying any
turbulent warmth, they would be bound down to keep the piece.
We hope, when such a subject presents itself again, it will not be
allowftd to pass with the same neglect which universal jokers have
passed upon it this time, or else we shall have to reprimand our young
pupils severely. ____
infra dig.
A Market Gardener calls the rage for Trees of Liberty in Paris, and
thinking they will survive, " only a pop'lar delusion."