Punch (15.1848)

PUNCH. OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

3

HOW TO TREAT THE FEMALE CHARTISTS.

* p-

London is threatened with an irruption of female Chartists, and
every man of experience is naturally alarmed, for he knows that the
v..v fmmince is the vox diuboli when it is once set going. We confess
we are much more alarmed about the threatened rising of the ladies
than we should be by the revolt of half the scamps in the metropolis.
The women must be put down, as any unfortunate victim to female
dominion can testify. How, then, are we to deal with the female
Chartists? The police will never be got to act against them ; for that
gallant force knows how much the kitchens are in the hands of the
gentler sex, and there is no member of the force who would willingly

make himself an outcast from the hearth of the British basement. We
have, however, something to propose that will easily meet the
emergency. A heroine who would never run from a man, would fly in
dismay before an industrious Ilea or a burly black-beetle. We have
only to collect together a good supply of cockroaches, with a fair
sprinkling of rats, and a muster of mice, in order to disperse the largest
and most ferocious crowd of females that ever was collected. We
respectfully submit our proposition to Sir Glorge Grey, as a certain
specific for allaying female turbulence.

THE BRUMMAGEM TRENCH EMPEROR.

uring the last month, Louis
Napoleon has been en-
gaged in completing his
arrangements for the as-
sumption of the character
of Emperor of France—a
part he contemplates filling
with more success than
has attended his past per-
formances, lie has already
purchased, at Waterloo
House, six yardsof imperial
purple, at 3*. 9d. a yard,
and he is in treaty with the
proprietors of Covent
Garden for some of the
still existing " machinery,
properties, dresses, and
decorations," that were
used for the grand spec-
tacle acted some years ago
under the title of Napoleon.
Prince Lotjts was offered, at a low figure, his uncle's "identical hat;" but upon "trying it on,"
the cap fitted so badly, that it was thought, by wearing it, he would only expose the difference
between his own head-piece and that of his renowned relative.

Some difficulty has been experienced in finding an Imperial Eagle, warranted not to be
sick at sea, which it was supposed would compromise the dignity of the expedition. The old
original Colisseum Eagle, who accompanied Prince Louis on the last occasion, had his bill
seized by the Erench beaks, and died in the hands of the magistrates. An experienced Eagle
from the Surrey Zoological received a liberal offer ; but it turned out to be by tar too old a bird
to be caught taking a part in any affair got up by Louis Napoleon. It lias therefore been
decided to throw the Eagle overboard, or rather not to take one on board at all; and the agent
of Prince Louis has purchased a quarter of a main of Gallic Cocks, as a substitute for the
bird of larger pretensions.

It will be remembered that, on the expedition to Boulogne, six dozen of champagne, a handful
of mem and a hamper full of sandwiches, formed, with the Eagle, the whole of the Prince's
retinue; but it was thought that the champagne produced a deleterious effect, and it is
therefore to be superseded on this occasion by some imperial ginger-pop, which, while cheaper,
and almost as invigorating as the champagne, has the advantage of at least a nominal relation-
ship to the soi-dimnt Emperor. A large quantity of that delicious old " sweet-stuff," fami-
liarly known as "Buonaparte's Ribc," will be placed on board, to be distributed, as a
douceur, among the people.

If the Emperor of Austria does not quickly return to Vienna, the Imperial Palace will be
sold oif by Public Auction, to defray the expenses of its keep and the wages of the household.

BROUGHAM IN LUCK.

Some people appear to have been recently
seized with a mania for leaving their property
to Lord Brougham, who has within the last few
years become a legatee to the tune of many
thousands of pounds. Now we have no objection
to our old friend and involuntary contributor
to our pictorial department becoming the re-
cipient of bequests from strangers ; but when
he reflects that to us he owes his popularity—
that we in fact have made him what he is—we
are sure that he will consider us in justice
entitled to a fair share of the property that
has been bequeathed to him. If the money is
left to console him for our banter, we are surely
entitled to a share of the proceeds; and if, on
the contrary, he is enriched by testators, from
a feeling of admiration, it is we who have done
everything, during the last five years, to render
him popular, by keeping the eyes of Europe upon
him as frequently as possible. We trust his
Lordship will take the hint, and cause a hand-
some per centage on his legacies to be paid to
the respective accounts of the writers and artists
of Punch with the Bank of England. We shall
send to have our Books made up in the course
of next week, and we hope to find that our
suggestion will have been duly attended to.

Old Iron for Sale.

What ever will become of the Iron Crown
of Lombardy r It has fitted many heads in its
time; but now it is without a single head to fit.
We believe the Railway King has sent in a
tender for it. The Iron is certainly more in
his line than any other king's. We can imagine
how uneasy the poor Emperor of Austria's
head must have felt under such a heavy load.
The report is, however, that the crown no longer
exists—that it was broken up long ago, to enable
Radetski to make a rod of iron of it. The
heaviness of his rule, therefore, is easily ac-
counted for, and the people cannot be blamed
for no longer bearing it. How would the English
like an Iron Ruler over their heads ?