Punch: Punch (15.1848)

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

" habitually communicated." To such questions Punch can fashion no ! nay, more than that: for we really believe if Horace happened to drop
pertinent reply. But he puts it to the reader—again seriously assuring in at the St. James's, and called for a poculum of his old Falernian.
him of the authenticity of the documents quoted—whether the liberal 1 that Mons. Houdin would pour it out for him, and then ask him if he

and benevolent queries of the great Academician on Humber have not
been answered in a spirit of respect and seriousness worthy of the
decency and humanity of the greater number of questions ? And
further, after pondering thereon may we not truly call the Governess
the Sister of Misery ?

WE WANT NO REFORM!

To be said or su?ig by everybody.
dedicated to b. osborne, esq., m.p.

Two pounds twelve and sixpence a-head

Is in England the rate of taxation ;
Seventy millions and upwards, 'tis said,
Is the average that's raised on the nation ;
But we want no Keform ;
Oh, no ! certainly not!
Not a bit—not a jot.
Pooh! we want no Reform !

Out of twenty, ten shillings on tea

Are paid bv the labouring classes ;
Eight on coffee ; on sugar—let's see-
Why, six shillings, hard cash, by the masses;
But we want no Reform ;
Take the word of Lord John,
We are going well on :
No—we want no Reform !

Eive on soap, four on beer, and fourteen

On spirits—sixteen on tobacco
Do they pay to our Lady the Queen,

But what, nevertheless, says Lord Jacko ?
" Why, we want no Reform,
All is proper and right,
Satisfactory quite;
Pish ! we want no Reform ! "

On Industry, more than on Wealth,

There's the weight of the Income Tax pressin?,
But the nation's in excellent health,

And we've no wrongs that call for redressing.
So we want no Reform ;
Oh, no ! not in the least;
We're not plundered nor fleeced.
Stuff and nonsense ! We want no Keform !

MR. ROBERT HOUDIN'S BOTTLE.'

before the trick of the bottle.

We do not know what Mb. George Crtjikshank would be like'y
to say to Mr. Hoddin's " Bottle." The former inculcates temperance
in a pictorial poem that is the best sermon we ever read ; the latter
rnakes drinking so pleasant, that we wonder no tee-totaller has yet

would have a little magnum of Cyprus !

There are many good things in Mr. Cruikshank's "Bottle," but
we doubt if its greatest admirer could squeeze a bumper of Bur-
gundy, or the smallest glass of Madeira out of it. In fact our moral
Callot would not be very well pleased if any one could, considering he
wishes to expose the horrors of drinking, and not to prove the pleasures-
of it; and that his "Bottle" was drawn, not to go to men's lips, but
to their hearts. We implore Monsieur Houdin, however, to be
careful, or else some night, if he does not put a timely "stopper" on
his liberality, his audience may be carried off to the station-house and
locked up, on the dreadful charge of inebriety. The scenes, too. that
might occur at his theatre would be rather unpleasant for the liberal
conjuror, if he had a number of young men rushing up to him for "just
one glass more." We advise him to limit every lady to two glasses,
and every gentleman to four, unless they have been dining out, when the
best thing to give them—we mean the gentlemen—will be a bottle of
soda-water. The drink should be varied, also, in this warm weather,
<nd be made to consist of some of Soyer's " Nec'ar," or Sains-
BTJBT'8 summer beverages.

AFTFK THE TRICK OF THE BOTTLE.

ENGLISHMEN AND GLORY.
"To M. Ponche.

" Monsieur Ponche, "Square of Leicester, July 11, 1848.

"The other dav I did see in your contemporary the Times an
account of a dinner of your Specials Constables at the Highbury Barn.
It was with the most great astonishment that I read as follows:—■

"'An original comic son? sung by a Mr. Shabpe, in which the "Specials"
were covered with a good deal of clever ridicule, ereated a vast amount of
merriment.'

"In truth, M. Ponche, you English are a race inexplicable. Eor
what your ' Specials' met they at the Barn of Highbury ? Was it not
to celebrate one grand triumph? How then ? M. Sharpes sings a
comic song which covers them with ridicule. And this creates ' a vast
amount of merriment.' I cannot comprehend that. Ought it not rather
to have excited the most live indignation ? What! when you con-
ceive yourselves covered with glory, you allow yourselves to be covered
with ridicule. I could well imagine M. Sharpes to have sung your
anthem national, or your Rule Britannia. There would therein have
been something grand—sublime. But in place of that, he sines a comic
song at the expense of his company, and they are charmed of it. For
me, I should have shouted, 'M. Sharpes to the lamp-post!' Think
you that our National Guards, or our Mobiles, would have suffered a
Sharpes to mock himself of them in this manner ? Ah ! no: they
would soon have made repent M. Sharpes. But you English, you seem
to take delight in laughing at all enthusiasm and all glory.

" I have the honour to be, Monsieur Ponche,

"Un Francais."

A very nice Point.

. - - . . Among the recent applications for relief under the Poor-Law was

isen and protested against the danger of putting such a "Bottle" one made by a man on behalf of himself, his wife, and a donkey. A

into the hands of the public. Why, it is inexhaustible ! The more
liquids he pours from it, the more there are concealed at the bottom. It
is a bottled ocean of champagne, port, claret, and Curacoa. It is
the whole Ixmdon Docks, apparently, corked down in a quart bottle-

question arose as to whether the donkey was a fit subject for out-door
relief, and whether he ought not to be made to bear his own burden.
After considerable difficulty, and a stringent application of the be-
labouring test, the brute was declared irremovable.