DOI Heft:
July to December, 1848
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16547#0199
192
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
NAMBY-PAMBY TITLES.
Pieces of Music seem to be monopc Using all the namby-pambyism of
the present period. If we were judged by our songs, we should be the
most loving, affectionate, doting, sentimental, stupid ppople ihat ever
existed out of a French romance. There are the Pet Polkas and the
Love Bird Waltzes, and Dost thou love me now as then? and ihe answer
to it, / do not love thee note one-half as much as then ; and we do not
know how many more questions and answers which heart-broken ladies
and gentlemen are continually putting to one another at the piano, in
all the varieties of Flats and Sharps. If the namby-pambyism only
increases, we shall be having:—
The Toolsey-Poolsey Polka, dedicated to all the Tootsey-Pootseys in
the United Kingdom :
Tiddledy-iddledy Utile Tunes for Tiddledy-iddledy little Fingers:
The Poppet Waltz, for newly-married couples :
Oh, do but take another cup of tea !—addressed to nice young men for
tea-parties, with a portrait of the nice young man to whom it wa< really
addressed on the memorable evening of the 25'h of October, ISIS, at
No. 43, P—s—t Grove, Islington:
The Chucky-Chucky Ducky-Ducky Cellaring:
Little Darling Exercises for Little Darling Schoolgirls— for the use of
Seminaries for young Ladies.
The above, in course of time, will be ready for publication, with the
most rah.bow frontispieces, at any of the respectable music-sellers.
The price not less than the stereotyped sum of two shillings.
BACCHUS TAKEN ABACK.
A law has just come into operation, rendering it a punish able offeree
to encourage intemperance; and, if a man may be fined five shillings
for being drunk, the same fine may be imposed on the individual who
helped to make him so. There is an end at once to the trade in
drinking-songs, and this once profitable branch of the poet's business
is for ever cut off. It is now penal to say or sing anything by way of
incitement to
" Pu6h rorwd the bowl."
And, though it may be doubtful whether it would be punishable to
exclaim—
" A bumper of burgundy fill, fill for me,"
there can be no question that the recommendation to
" Give those who prefer it champagne,"
■would bring the vocalist at once under one of the most stringent
clauses of the new Act of Parliament. Like every other statute,
this one will, of course, give rise to innumerable questions; and it will
be asked whether the exhortation,
"Drink to me only with thine eye*,"
will be taken to amount to an inducement to drunkenness, since drinking
with the eyes cannot be construed into drinking with the mouth;
though a gentleman with " a wee drap in his e'e"maybe in a state
to bring him under the five shilling mulct imposed bythe magistrate.
As to poor old Bacchus, he will have to resign his jolly godship at
once, and turn his beer-barrel into a water-butt. The teetotallers, in
anticipation of the working of the Act, have added a Royal Humane
Society to their other arrangements, tor the purpose of preventing
even sorrow from that drowning in the bowl which has made so many
noyades in the last few years.
GRATITUDE AND GROUSE.
" Mr. Punch,
" The subjoined paragraph, relative to your unfortunate humble
servant, appeared lately in the Bucks Advertiser:—
" ' His Grace the Dtke of Rucktvoftam', who is grouse scooting in Scotland,
a few days fince coiiMderate'y seut a box of grou'e to a clergyman arid magi-trate,
residing near Pad bury. The porter's demand of 10s. 6d. for carriage, was, by the
revererid gentl< man, considei ed sufficient to quite spoil the flavour of the Scottish
game, which was in conseqmnce refused ; and will, in the order of things, find its
way back to his Grace, in ibe Highlands.'
" Now, Sir, it, is too notorious for me to deny that two years ago,
when His Grace the Duke of Buckingham was lord of Stowe,
and I—why should 1 mince the matter ?—had the run of his princeiy
cuisine, the smallest donation from his Grace, in the shape of game,
especially if labelled with the ducal autograph, would have been most
thankfully received—the fxpense of carriage no consideration. Had
he sent me, with his compliments, a single jack-snipe from the utter-
most parts of the earth, I should neither have minded how much its
conveyance cost, nor what state it arrived in. Nay, Sir, if the present
had been a horse, under the denomiration of venison, I would, in the
fullest sense of the word, have taken it in, and never looked the gift-
horse in the mouth. I would have joyfully paid the carrier's demand,
and, moteover, I would have given him a quantity of beer, to drink my
own health and that of the Noble Duke withal. But times are changed
now, and that is why, malicious people say, I offered his Grace the
indignity of rejecting his gift for the sake of a paltry half guinea.
"Yes, Sir, times are changed; but it is because they are changed
with me—not, believe me, Irom any reverse in the fortunes of the
House of Chandos—that I sorrowfully turned away the Duke—repre-
sented by his grouse—from my door. Had I possessed fifty pounds, I
should not have thought it too much for such an addition to my larder,
and such an honour to myself. But extreme poverty is my excuse for
an act which otherwise would have been one of intense meanness. The
fact is. S:r, that I bad not 10i. 6d. to bless myself with ; much less to
pay for the Duke's game. Indee d, Mr. Punch, I can assure you—and
yon, I know, will credit what I say—that I am positively not worth a
farthing.
" I am, &c. &c.
" A Clergyman and Magistrate residing near Padburt.*'
" Oct. 30,1848."_______
ANONYMOUS SCRIBBLERS.
The author who writes the eloquent testimonials for Holloway
and Parr's Life Pills, is an anonymous scribbler. Warren's Poet is
another. The tender Poet of Moses is.also another; and the talented
author of George Roeins's advertisements was likewise an anonymous
scribbler, and yet they are all more or less known to fame. But Lord
Brougham sneers at all anonymous scribblers; and yet we are sure he
would too willingly change places with any one of the above geniuses,
if he thought he could purchase with the exchange any chance of pro-
motion in the ranks of Posterity. It would be better for many scribblers
if they had always been "anonymous." For instance, imagine what
Lord Brougham would have gained, if, during his literary careeer, he
had not put his name to one hundredth part of what he has written.
He might really have passed for one of the cleverest, most consistent,
men of the present day; whereas—but we have a horror of a platitude,
so the reader will please to finish the sentence himself.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
NAMBY-PAMBY TITLES.
Pieces of Music seem to be monopc Using all the namby-pambyism of
the present period. If we were judged by our songs, we should be the
most loving, affectionate, doting, sentimental, stupid ppople ihat ever
existed out of a French romance. There are the Pet Polkas and the
Love Bird Waltzes, and Dost thou love me now as then? and ihe answer
to it, / do not love thee note one-half as much as then ; and we do not
know how many more questions and answers which heart-broken ladies
and gentlemen are continually putting to one another at the piano, in
all the varieties of Flats and Sharps. If the namby-pambyism only
increases, we shall be having:—
The Toolsey-Poolsey Polka, dedicated to all the Tootsey-Pootseys in
the United Kingdom :
Tiddledy-iddledy Utile Tunes for Tiddledy-iddledy little Fingers:
The Poppet Waltz, for newly-married couples :
Oh, do but take another cup of tea !—addressed to nice young men for
tea-parties, with a portrait of the nice young man to whom it wa< really
addressed on the memorable evening of the 25'h of October, ISIS, at
No. 43, P—s—t Grove, Islington:
The Chucky-Chucky Ducky-Ducky Cellaring:
Little Darling Exercises for Little Darling Schoolgirls— for the use of
Seminaries for young Ladies.
The above, in course of time, will be ready for publication, with the
most rah.bow frontispieces, at any of the respectable music-sellers.
The price not less than the stereotyped sum of two shillings.
BACCHUS TAKEN ABACK.
A law has just come into operation, rendering it a punish able offeree
to encourage intemperance; and, if a man may be fined five shillings
for being drunk, the same fine may be imposed on the individual who
helped to make him so. There is an end at once to the trade in
drinking-songs, and this once profitable branch of the poet's business
is for ever cut off. It is now penal to say or sing anything by way of
incitement to
" Pu6h rorwd the bowl."
And, though it may be doubtful whether it would be punishable to
exclaim—
" A bumper of burgundy fill, fill for me,"
there can be no question that the recommendation to
" Give those who prefer it champagne,"
■would bring the vocalist at once under one of the most stringent
clauses of the new Act of Parliament. Like every other statute,
this one will, of course, give rise to innumerable questions; and it will
be asked whether the exhortation,
"Drink to me only with thine eye*,"
will be taken to amount to an inducement to drunkenness, since drinking
with the eyes cannot be construed into drinking with the mouth;
though a gentleman with " a wee drap in his e'e"maybe in a state
to bring him under the five shilling mulct imposed bythe magistrate.
As to poor old Bacchus, he will have to resign his jolly godship at
once, and turn his beer-barrel into a water-butt. The teetotallers, in
anticipation of the working of the Act, have added a Royal Humane
Society to their other arrangements, tor the purpose of preventing
even sorrow from that drowning in the bowl which has made so many
noyades in the last few years.
GRATITUDE AND GROUSE.
" Mr. Punch,
" The subjoined paragraph, relative to your unfortunate humble
servant, appeared lately in the Bucks Advertiser:—
" ' His Grace the Dtke of Rucktvoftam', who is grouse scooting in Scotland,
a few days fince coiiMderate'y seut a box of grou'e to a clergyman arid magi-trate,
residing near Pad bury. The porter's demand of 10s. 6d. for carriage, was, by the
revererid gentl< man, considei ed sufficient to quite spoil the flavour of the Scottish
game, which was in conseqmnce refused ; and will, in the order of things, find its
way back to his Grace, in ibe Highlands.'
" Now, Sir, it, is too notorious for me to deny that two years ago,
when His Grace the Duke of Buckingham was lord of Stowe,
and I—why should 1 mince the matter ?—had the run of his princeiy
cuisine, the smallest donation from his Grace, in the shape of game,
especially if labelled with the ducal autograph, would have been most
thankfully received—the fxpense of carriage no consideration. Had
he sent me, with his compliments, a single jack-snipe from the utter-
most parts of the earth, I should neither have minded how much its
conveyance cost, nor what state it arrived in. Nay, Sir, if the present
had been a horse, under the denomiration of venison, I would, in the
fullest sense of the word, have taken it in, and never looked the gift-
horse in the mouth. I would have joyfully paid the carrier's demand,
and, moteover, I would have given him a quantity of beer, to drink my
own health and that of the Noble Duke withal. But times are changed
now, and that is why, malicious people say, I offered his Grace the
indignity of rejecting his gift for the sake of a paltry half guinea.
"Yes, Sir, times are changed; but it is because they are changed
with me—not, believe me, Irom any reverse in the fortunes of the
House of Chandos—that I sorrowfully turned away the Duke—repre-
sented by his grouse—from my door. Had I possessed fifty pounds, I
should not have thought it too much for such an addition to my larder,
and such an honour to myself. But extreme poverty is my excuse for
an act which otherwise would have been one of intense meanness. The
fact is. S:r, that I bad not 10i. 6d. to bless myself with ; much less to
pay for the Duke's game. Indee d, Mr. Punch, I can assure you—and
yon, I know, will credit what I say—that I am positively not worth a
farthing.
" I am, &c. &c.
" A Clergyman and Magistrate residing near Padburt.*'
" Oct. 30,1848."_______
ANONYMOUS SCRIBBLERS.
The author who writes the eloquent testimonials for Holloway
and Parr's Life Pills, is an anonymous scribbler. Warren's Poet is
another. The tender Poet of Moses is.also another; and the talented
author of George Roeins's advertisements was likewise an anonymous
scribbler, and yet they are all more or less known to fame. But Lord
Brougham sneers at all anonymous scribblers; and yet we are sure he
would too willingly change places with any one of the above geniuses,
if he thought he could purchase with the exchange any chance of pro-
motion in the ranks of Posterity. It would be better for many scribblers
if they had always been "anonymous." For instance, imagine what
Lord Brougham would have gained, if, during his literary careeer, he
had not put his name to one hundredth part of what he has written.
He might really have passed for one of the cleverest, most consistent,
men of the present day; whereas—but we have a horror of a platitude,
so the reader will please to finish the sentence himself.