DOI Heft:
July to December, 1848
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16547#0271
264
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
/"I ALLS FOR THE PRESENT MONTH.—This is to give notice that
V^' a call of Threepence per head, on the whole of the British population, will be
payable on or before the 1st of January, 1849, at the Funch Office, or any of its
agencies. Scrip, in the form of PUNCH'S ALMANACK, will be delivered on
payment of the Call, which will entitle the holder to a Consolidated Stock of the best
things in Art and Literature, which will bear interest on every day throughout
the year.
A CRUEL ATTACK UPON ATTORNIES.
We are surprised, and something more, at the Times. It
is evident that, for the most part, that well-conducted and
generally delightful print has a malevolent intention to dip
attornies in the black dye of its own ink, making them much
more dark than they are ordinarily painted. This is vulgar
— shameful. Only last week, we saw one respectable
man—he must have been three-score five, at least, with a
blue bag beside him—a respectable old gentleman, smelling a little of
pounce, and looking a little of parchment,—we saw him, we say,
indignant and affected, as he sat with the Times newspaper in one
hand, a piece of biscuit in the other, and a glass of brown sherry on the
table before him. We like to be particular, and will give the time and
place. It was on the 13th of December, 2 p.m.—the third box upon
the right as you enter the Gray's-Inn Coffee House.
Mk. Redtape (we inquired the name of the waiter) reads a letter in
the Times. The writer speaks of a "system of robbery, which consists
of small attornies purchasing small debts and bills under £20, and suing
the parties upon them in the superior courts for the sake of costs."
" And why not; why not ?" asks Mr. Redtape of a gentleman opposite
(evidently a country client). " Did you ever hear the like, Sir P
" The attorney claims the priv ilege of suing for a debt due to himself in his own
court, and of being out of the jurisdiction of the County Courts either as plaintiff
or defendant! This evasion of the spirit of the act surely was never intended
by the Legislature, and calls imperatively for attention."
" Indeed! " says Redtape. " And so we 're to be stripped of all our
littie rights? We are to have no privileges ? An attorney is not to be
allowed to speculate a little, buying up small debts for the sake of
dearer practice, but is to be. compelled to go into the County Courts,
and get dirty, cheap law like any paltry individual out of the profession.
Why, Sir, carry this out, and what a blow will it deal upon many most
energetic attornies of the Hebrew persuasion—of men of enterprising
habits, who buy small debts, as graziers buy lean sheep, to fatten 'em
into profit ? But just hear the fellow." (And Redtape reads)—
" A debt of .£"16 was speedily magnified by costs, &C, into ^'32. of which i have
paid £'2i, and having unfortunately made default 'on the day ' in payment of jSH,
the balance, the next morning was served with a fresh writ for that amount, with
JE1 15s. costs, and in a few days after a declaration, thus creating £4 more expenses,
and which, if not paid in four days, will be increased o £9 or £10 costs only."
* And why not ? " asks Redtape. " Is not a law—at least proper law
—made for the use of attornies F Look here, Sir. I pay an annual sum
for my certificate. Just, Sir, as you pay tor your shooting license.
And my certificate is as your gun,—I am to bag as much game as I can
with it. The County Court is a shabby, paltry place; not fit for a
gentleman to practise in. There's no game—no game, Sir. I might
as well ask you, with a license, to pop onlv at. may-bugs and cock-
chafers. And so, being duly certificated to kill, I, as an attorney and
gentleman by Act of Parliament, bang away in the superior courts.
And this—this little privilege—they would deprive us of! All I say is
this.; I respect the laws of my country, so long as they 're profitable;
but if they attempt any more of what thev call their reforms, I only
hope I shall not be found with my coat off, throwing up a birricade."
THE PILOTS THAT ARE TO WEATHER THE FRENCH
STORM.
Tbere are some doubts about the Ministry of Louis-Napoleon.
We give the following as the most correct, for it has been forwarded to
us by the Electric Telegraph, which is known never to exceed the
truth. None other, consequently, is genuine :—
Minister of Justice .... Mons. Vinoco..
Minister of Foreign Affairs . . . Mad. Loi.a Montes.
Minister of the Interior . . . Mons. Soyer.
Minister of Finance . . . .Lb Comte Chicard.
Minister of Public Works . . . Le Pebe Maiedx.
Minister of War..... Franooni.
Governor of Algeria .... Col. Pklissikk.
The President of the Council will be Monsieur Gobert, the cele-
brated Napoleon of the Cirque, and every theatre on the Boulevards,
and who, for the last month, has been giving instructions to Prince
Louis; and the Vice-President, it is rumoured, will be the equally
celebrated Gomersal, who is so identified now with the Emperor and
all his habits, that he takes snuff quite naturally out of his waistcoat-
pocket.
The above distinguished celebrities have only accepted office upon the
distinct understanding that Pkince Louis is not to speak a single
word—which he has most handsomely promised; as he declares, very
innocently, that he has nothing to say, and is not particular about
saying it.
The Ministry has been already honoured with a nickname, which, in
a country like France, where only the highest things are ridiculed, is a
sufficient proof of its popularity. It has been called the Ministry " de
toutes les Incapacites; but this is evidently a joke, if not a libel, and
Prince Louis, when he puts himself at the head of the Cabinet, will
soon prove that there is nothing in it.
THE NEW FLOATING RAILWAY.
Some ingenious gentleman, who seems to think that capital does not
get, sunk rapidly enough in Railways, has proposed a floating line, which
will of course, if carried out, be exposed to more than the ordinary fluc-
tuations to which these things are liable. The scheme may work well
enough when matters go on smoothly, but when Neptune has a bill—
or a bill-ow—to take up, and Boreas may be raising the wind to help
him out, we fear the traffic on the floating line would be entirely
swamped, to say nothing of the difficulty the engineers might experience
in taking their levels.
FASHIONABLE TRANSLATIONS.
cans In.
„ No day.
„ No invitation.
,, Cold meat, or hashed mutton.
,, Songs all the evening.
„ About a hundred people or so.
„ Rather not dance with you.
„ It's time to go upstairs.
„ A decided cut.
j Extreme economy, or evading your
" \ creditors.
„ Outrunning the constable.
["Insolvency, or a slight bankruptcy
| or an elopement, or a marriage
" A little misfortune" . . . ,, ■{ with a tradesman, or a bit of
| shoplifting, or any other fashion-
^ able casualty.
Threw herself away „ Married for love.
Comfortably settled . . . „ Married for money.
Past the meridian of life . . ,, Any year between 50 and 100.
Not dying so well as was expected „ Dying poor.
Universally respected . . . ,, Dying rich.
Out (mostly)
Any day (decidedly)
A general invitation
Pot luck ....
A little music
A few friends
Engaged three deep
" Will you have any more wine
" We do not visit now" .
Residing on the Continent for the
benefit of your health
Breaking up one's establishment
"NO SKETCHING ALLOWED."
Artists are not permitted to skefch in the Temple. Those excellent
friends of ours, the stout gentlemen in the aprons and brass badges,
whose arduous duty it is to drive out dogs, and do nothing about the
corners of the courts in sunshiny weather, have lately been driving
away all persons attempting to carry off (in their sketch-books) any of
the ornaments of the Temple Church. The Benchers may, perhaps,
be of opinion that the only copies that ought to be permitted within
their precinct, are those charged twopence a folio, which is considerably
under what a folio of (artist's) copies usually fetches.
In facf, the Temple is a drawing academy already, Chitty supplying
the models, in the shape of very common forms, and all the drafts
drawn having one quality—colour—for which the English school has
always been famous. Still, we cannot think the Bench are aware of the
prohibition recently issued by the honourable Beadles of their courts,
and we accordingly beg to move for a quo warranto, to show on what
authority those functionaries interfere with sketchers. or rather a pe-
remptory mandamus, to order them to abstain from doing so in future.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
/"I ALLS FOR THE PRESENT MONTH.—This is to give notice that
V^' a call of Threepence per head, on the whole of the British population, will be
payable on or before the 1st of January, 1849, at the Funch Office, or any of its
agencies. Scrip, in the form of PUNCH'S ALMANACK, will be delivered on
payment of the Call, which will entitle the holder to a Consolidated Stock of the best
things in Art and Literature, which will bear interest on every day throughout
the year.
A CRUEL ATTACK UPON ATTORNIES.
We are surprised, and something more, at the Times. It
is evident that, for the most part, that well-conducted and
generally delightful print has a malevolent intention to dip
attornies in the black dye of its own ink, making them much
more dark than they are ordinarily painted. This is vulgar
— shameful. Only last week, we saw one respectable
man—he must have been three-score five, at least, with a
blue bag beside him—a respectable old gentleman, smelling a little of
pounce, and looking a little of parchment,—we saw him, we say,
indignant and affected, as he sat with the Times newspaper in one
hand, a piece of biscuit in the other, and a glass of brown sherry on the
table before him. We like to be particular, and will give the time and
place. It was on the 13th of December, 2 p.m.—the third box upon
the right as you enter the Gray's-Inn Coffee House.
Mk. Redtape (we inquired the name of the waiter) reads a letter in
the Times. The writer speaks of a "system of robbery, which consists
of small attornies purchasing small debts and bills under £20, and suing
the parties upon them in the superior courts for the sake of costs."
" And why not; why not ?" asks Mr. Redtape of a gentleman opposite
(evidently a country client). " Did you ever hear the like, Sir P
" The attorney claims the priv ilege of suing for a debt due to himself in his own
court, and of being out of the jurisdiction of the County Courts either as plaintiff
or defendant! This evasion of the spirit of the act surely was never intended
by the Legislature, and calls imperatively for attention."
" Indeed! " says Redtape. " And so we 're to be stripped of all our
littie rights? We are to have no privileges ? An attorney is not to be
allowed to speculate a little, buying up small debts for the sake of
dearer practice, but is to be. compelled to go into the County Courts,
and get dirty, cheap law like any paltry individual out of the profession.
Why, Sir, carry this out, and what a blow will it deal upon many most
energetic attornies of the Hebrew persuasion—of men of enterprising
habits, who buy small debts, as graziers buy lean sheep, to fatten 'em
into profit ? But just hear the fellow." (And Redtape reads)—
" A debt of .£"16 was speedily magnified by costs, &C, into ^'32. of which i have
paid £'2i, and having unfortunately made default 'on the day ' in payment of jSH,
the balance, the next morning was served with a fresh writ for that amount, with
JE1 15s. costs, and in a few days after a declaration, thus creating £4 more expenses,
and which, if not paid in four days, will be increased o £9 or £10 costs only."
* And why not ? " asks Redtape. " Is not a law—at least proper law
—made for the use of attornies F Look here, Sir. I pay an annual sum
for my certificate. Just, Sir, as you pay tor your shooting license.
And my certificate is as your gun,—I am to bag as much game as I can
with it. The County Court is a shabby, paltry place; not fit for a
gentleman to practise in. There's no game—no game, Sir. I might
as well ask you, with a license, to pop onlv at. may-bugs and cock-
chafers. And so, being duly certificated to kill, I, as an attorney and
gentleman by Act of Parliament, bang away in the superior courts.
And this—this little privilege—they would deprive us of! All I say is
this.; I respect the laws of my country, so long as they 're profitable;
but if they attempt any more of what thev call their reforms, I only
hope I shall not be found with my coat off, throwing up a birricade."
THE PILOTS THAT ARE TO WEATHER THE FRENCH
STORM.
Tbere are some doubts about the Ministry of Louis-Napoleon.
We give the following as the most correct, for it has been forwarded to
us by the Electric Telegraph, which is known never to exceed the
truth. None other, consequently, is genuine :—
Minister of Justice .... Mons. Vinoco..
Minister of Foreign Affairs . . . Mad. Loi.a Montes.
Minister of the Interior . . . Mons. Soyer.
Minister of Finance . . . .Lb Comte Chicard.
Minister of Public Works . . . Le Pebe Maiedx.
Minister of War..... Franooni.
Governor of Algeria .... Col. Pklissikk.
The President of the Council will be Monsieur Gobert, the cele-
brated Napoleon of the Cirque, and every theatre on the Boulevards,
and who, for the last month, has been giving instructions to Prince
Louis; and the Vice-President, it is rumoured, will be the equally
celebrated Gomersal, who is so identified now with the Emperor and
all his habits, that he takes snuff quite naturally out of his waistcoat-
pocket.
The above distinguished celebrities have only accepted office upon the
distinct understanding that Pkince Louis is not to speak a single
word—which he has most handsomely promised; as he declares, very
innocently, that he has nothing to say, and is not particular about
saying it.
The Ministry has been already honoured with a nickname, which, in
a country like France, where only the highest things are ridiculed, is a
sufficient proof of its popularity. It has been called the Ministry " de
toutes les Incapacites; but this is evidently a joke, if not a libel, and
Prince Louis, when he puts himself at the head of the Cabinet, will
soon prove that there is nothing in it.
THE NEW FLOATING RAILWAY.
Some ingenious gentleman, who seems to think that capital does not
get, sunk rapidly enough in Railways, has proposed a floating line, which
will of course, if carried out, be exposed to more than the ordinary fluc-
tuations to which these things are liable. The scheme may work well
enough when matters go on smoothly, but when Neptune has a bill—
or a bill-ow—to take up, and Boreas may be raising the wind to help
him out, we fear the traffic on the floating line would be entirely
swamped, to say nothing of the difficulty the engineers might experience
in taking their levels.
FASHIONABLE TRANSLATIONS.
cans In.
„ No day.
„ No invitation.
,, Cold meat, or hashed mutton.
,, Songs all the evening.
„ About a hundred people or so.
„ Rather not dance with you.
„ It's time to go upstairs.
„ A decided cut.
j Extreme economy, or evading your
" \ creditors.
„ Outrunning the constable.
["Insolvency, or a slight bankruptcy
| or an elopement, or a marriage
" A little misfortune" . . . ,, ■{ with a tradesman, or a bit of
| shoplifting, or any other fashion-
^ able casualty.
Threw herself away „ Married for love.
Comfortably settled . . . „ Married for money.
Past the meridian of life . . ,, Any year between 50 and 100.
Not dying so well as was expected „ Dying poor.
Universally respected . . . ,, Dying rich.
Out (mostly)
Any day (decidedly)
A general invitation
Pot luck ....
A little music
A few friends
Engaged three deep
" Will you have any more wine
" We do not visit now" .
Residing on the Continent for the
benefit of your health
Breaking up one's establishment
"NO SKETCHING ALLOWED."
Artists are not permitted to skefch in the Temple. Those excellent
friends of ours, the stout gentlemen in the aprons and brass badges,
whose arduous duty it is to drive out dogs, and do nothing about the
corners of the courts in sunshiny weather, have lately been driving
away all persons attempting to carry off (in their sketch-books) any of
the ornaments of the Temple Church. The Benchers may, perhaps,
be of opinion that the only copies that ought to be permitted within
their precinct, are those charged twopence a folio, which is considerably
under what a folio of (artist's) copies usually fetches.
In facf, the Temple is a drawing academy already, Chitty supplying
the models, in the shape of very common forms, and all the drafts
drawn having one quality—colour—for which the English school has
always been famous. Still, we cannot think the Bench are aware of the
prohibition recently issued by the honourable Beadles of their courts,
and we accordingly beg to move for a quo warranto, to show on what
authority those functionaries interfere with sketchers. or rather a pe-
remptory mandamus, to order them to abstain from doing so in future.