DOI Heft:
July to December, 1849
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16604#0067
PUNCH, OR, THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 55
GIVING THE RAINS TO THE IMAGINATION.
The fall of Red Rain has, as we anticipated, set the seeds of fancy
sprouting in the minds of the penny-a-liners, who have been inundating
the newspapers with showers of
syery kind, that may be likely to
give a whet to the public curiosity,
The poor frogs must be considered
as being definitively gone to the
dogs, for henceforth a shower of
frogs will fail to find admission
into the most easy and accom-
modating of newspapers. We
have already heard of a shower
of shrimps, and we dare say we
shall soon read of its having pelted
with prawns and periwinkles, or
of there having been a most un-
welcome overflow of whelks in
some suburban water-butts. From
the smaller it is easy to get to
the larger fish, and we may soon
be prepared for a shower of jacks,
requiring a vast amount of jack-
towelling to dry it up; nor should
we be surprised if that celebrated
rain of terror, the rain of pitch-
forks, may one day be realised.
We think the late extraordinary
rains must be attributed chiefly to
that notorious wet blanket Old
Swithin, who should be limited
at least to one or two materials,
instead of damping our energies
with all sorts of showers, consisting of all sorts of objects, in all sorts
of colours. The gentleman who stands up to his ancles at Greenwich
continually for the purpose of writing to the Times to announce the
number of inches or ram that have fallen, must have been in a series of
nice messes lately amidst the real and other miscellaneous rains that
have so smartly been down upon him.
A REMARKABLE JACK "WHICH FELL AT BRIXTON.
THE PROROGATION SPEECH.
a party critique.
[A gentleman who signs himself." Tine Blue," has favoured us with some observations
on the Queen's Prorogation Speech. We have much pleasure in subjoining our Cor-
respondent's critique ; and are highly flattered by the preference which he has shown
to us over certain Anti-Ministerial Contemporaries.]
"The Parliamentary Farce of 1849 has ended with a Managerial
Address, purporting to emanate from the Crown, and delivered in the
character of Lord President by the Marquis or Lansdowne. This
composition of our Whig rulers is characteristically incorrect in
grammar, ambiguous in sense, and erroneous, in so far as it is intel-
ligible, in assertion.
"Lord John Russell and Co. begin by telling 'My Lords and
Gentlemen' that ' the state of public business enables Her Majesty
to dispense with their attendance in Parliament.' Do Ministers mean
that the satisfactory state of public business allows Her Majesty to
release Parliament from its labour; or that the disgraceful condition of
the national affairs obliges her to send it about its business ?
"' Her Majesty,' say our Whig rulers, ' has directed us to express
her satisfact ion,' &c. How monstrous a violation of truth to assert that
the Queen has directed them to give utterance to sentiments on her
part, which it is notorious that she, on the contrary, expresses at their
direction!
" What are we to understand by the assertion that Her Majesty
has given her assent to the important measure' which Parliament has
' passed to amend the Navigation Laws, in full confidence,' &c ? That
the Queen has given her assent to the measure, or that Parliament has
enacted it in that plenitude of confidence, &c. ?—in which whoever parti-
cipates, we do not hesitate to say, must be an ass.
" Will any one explain to us the meaning of the 'friendly character of
her relations with foreign Powers,' ascribed to our gracious Monarch ?
These expressions, we maintain, are most equivocal, and may merely
signify, for aught we know, that the Doke of Cambridge and the
other branches of the Royal Family enjoy a cosmopolitan reputation for
good fellowship, which, certainly, as far as regards his Royal Highness,
we are not disposed to deny.
"But enough of this specimen of Whig duplicity and evasiveness,
and traitorous tampering with (literally) the Queen's English, which in
older and better times (destined, we hope, to revive again) would, beyond
question, have brought to the block every head concerned in concocting
such mendacious nonsense."
%* If our Correspondent will favour us with his name and address,
we shall be happy to recommend him, among our ultra-Tory connexions,
as being decidedly a nice young man for a small party.
A CHEAP EXCURSION TO SMITHFIELD AND BACK FOR
ONE SHILLING.
We are happy to state that a wealthy Omnibus Company has made
arrangements to take passengers to that delightful place of healthy
resort, Smithfield, and back, for the contemptible sum of One Shilling.
The first excursion is to take place next Monday, that being fortunately
a Market day, which will allow the passengers an opportunity of wit-
nessing the innocent gambols of the animals that disport themselves
there with such rural playfulness. The Omnibus, the better to enjoy
this elevating sight, will proceed through the very midst of the noble
oxen, and halt, in the centre of the Market, where it will make a stoppage
of six hours. Passengers wall be permitted to descend, if they like, and
to ramble about at their leisure. All the pigsties will be thrown open
on this occasion, and every facility given to the excursionists, that they
may inhale, unmolested, the health-inspiring breezes of this acknowledged
Garden of England.
A Flower Show will be held at the apple stall against the picturesque
lamp-post which bears the Royal Arms, in tin, at the top, and, it'
possible, a cabbage leaf full of currants, gathered on the spot, will be
added to the fete, to give it something of a horticultural air. The
excursion is expected to come off with great eclat, as Smithfield never
looked so blooming, or was so full, as at the present moment. Hig-
ginbottom's Brass Baud will attend before the Marquis of Granby, and
perform some of their most popular airs during the day.
OMNIBUS RACING INTELLIGENCE.
The fine ' "--lish sport of racing has been taken up with much
spirit by the ^......j<J.s drivers on the Brompton and Putney roads, who
turn t he highway into a course, and run against each other—or anything
else that may be in the way—from about 8 a. m. till midnight. The
Putney Pets" and the Brompton Beauties, as the competitors are called
by their respective backers, may be seen every five minutes at the
1 London Bridge Railway Station, from which, after several false starts,
they usually set away together and proceed not only neck and neck, but
neck or nothing, past King William's statue to the Mansion House,
which may be considered the first heat, when, after a few more false
starts, they make all the running they can to Charing Cross, where the
second heat terminates. The race increases greatly in interest from
this point, for it assumes the character of a steeple chase at St.
Martin's Church, and the usual fence work of hurdles, ditches, or other
miscellaneous obstructions is supplied by the old women and the fruit
stalls, which form a very efficient substitute for the customary im-
pediments in sport of this description. The old two-penny original,
which from the broken-winded character of one of the cattle—since re-
tired—used to be known as the " two-penny buster," makes very little
running, and in fact is only placed among the outsiders, the number of
outsiders that it carries being quite unlimited.
As these races are likelv to continue, we think it would be advisable
for the public to keep the course thoroughly clear of all vehicles and
passengers during the period when the road is occupied by the Pets,
Bucks, and Beauties of Putney and Brompton. It is true that the
racing continues throughout the day, and it might be inconvenient to
shut up the road as a public thoroughfare, but while it is used as an
omnibus race-course, the course we recommend is the only one that can
be safely followed.___
Not the Slightest Relation to Duke Humphrey— Sib James
Duke.
GIVING THE RAINS TO THE IMAGINATION.
The fall of Red Rain has, as we anticipated, set the seeds of fancy
sprouting in the minds of the penny-a-liners, who have been inundating
the newspapers with showers of
syery kind, that may be likely to
give a whet to the public curiosity,
The poor frogs must be considered
as being definitively gone to the
dogs, for henceforth a shower of
frogs will fail to find admission
into the most easy and accom-
modating of newspapers. We
have already heard of a shower
of shrimps, and we dare say we
shall soon read of its having pelted
with prawns and periwinkles, or
of there having been a most un-
welcome overflow of whelks in
some suburban water-butts. From
the smaller it is easy to get to
the larger fish, and we may soon
be prepared for a shower of jacks,
requiring a vast amount of jack-
towelling to dry it up; nor should
we be surprised if that celebrated
rain of terror, the rain of pitch-
forks, may one day be realised.
We think the late extraordinary
rains must be attributed chiefly to
that notorious wet blanket Old
Swithin, who should be limited
at least to one or two materials,
instead of damping our energies
with all sorts of showers, consisting of all sorts of objects, in all sorts
of colours. The gentleman who stands up to his ancles at Greenwich
continually for the purpose of writing to the Times to announce the
number of inches or ram that have fallen, must have been in a series of
nice messes lately amidst the real and other miscellaneous rains that
have so smartly been down upon him.
A REMARKABLE JACK "WHICH FELL AT BRIXTON.
THE PROROGATION SPEECH.
a party critique.
[A gentleman who signs himself." Tine Blue," has favoured us with some observations
on the Queen's Prorogation Speech. We have much pleasure in subjoining our Cor-
respondent's critique ; and are highly flattered by the preference which he has shown
to us over certain Anti-Ministerial Contemporaries.]
"The Parliamentary Farce of 1849 has ended with a Managerial
Address, purporting to emanate from the Crown, and delivered in the
character of Lord President by the Marquis or Lansdowne. This
composition of our Whig rulers is characteristically incorrect in
grammar, ambiguous in sense, and erroneous, in so far as it is intel-
ligible, in assertion.
"Lord John Russell and Co. begin by telling 'My Lords and
Gentlemen' that ' the state of public business enables Her Majesty
to dispense with their attendance in Parliament.' Do Ministers mean
that the satisfactory state of public business allows Her Majesty to
release Parliament from its labour; or that the disgraceful condition of
the national affairs obliges her to send it about its business ?
"' Her Majesty,' say our Whig rulers, ' has directed us to express
her satisfact ion,' &c. How monstrous a violation of truth to assert that
the Queen has directed them to give utterance to sentiments on her
part, which it is notorious that she, on the contrary, expresses at their
direction!
" What are we to understand by the assertion that Her Majesty
has given her assent to the important measure' which Parliament has
' passed to amend the Navigation Laws, in full confidence,' &c ? That
the Queen has given her assent to the measure, or that Parliament has
enacted it in that plenitude of confidence, &c. ?—in which whoever parti-
cipates, we do not hesitate to say, must be an ass.
" Will any one explain to us the meaning of the 'friendly character of
her relations with foreign Powers,' ascribed to our gracious Monarch ?
These expressions, we maintain, are most equivocal, and may merely
signify, for aught we know, that the Doke of Cambridge and the
other branches of the Royal Family enjoy a cosmopolitan reputation for
good fellowship, which, certainly, as far as regards his Royal Highness,
we are not disposed to deny.
"But enough of this specimen of Whig duplicity and evasiveness,
and traitorous tampering with (literally) the Queen's English, which in
older and better times (destined, we hope, to revive again) would, beyond
question, have brought to the block every head concerned in concocting
such mendacious nonsense."
%* If our Correspondent will favour us with his name and address,
we shall be happy to recommend him, among our ultra-Tory connexions,
as being decidedly a nice young man for a small party.
A CHEAP EXCURSION TO SMITHFIELD AND BACK FOR
ONE SHILLING.
We are happy to state that a wealthy Omnibus Company has made
arrangements to take passengers to that delightful place of healthy
resort, Smithfield, and back, for the contemptible sum of One Shilling.
The first excursion is to take place next Monday, that being fortunately
a Market day, which will allow the passengers an opportunity of wit-
nessing the innocent gambols of the animals that disport themselves
there with such rural playfulness. The Omnibus, the better to enjoy
this elevating sight, will proceed through the very midst of the noble
oxen, and halt, in the centre of the Market, where it will make a stoppage
of six hours. Passengers wall be permitted to descend, if they like, and
to ramble about at their leisure. All the pigsties will be thrown open
on this occasion, and every facility given to the excursionists, that they
may inhale, unmolested, the health-inspiring breezes of this acknowledged
Garden of England.
A Flower Show will be held at the apple stall against the picturesque
lamp-post which bears the Royal Arms, in tin, at the top, and, it'
possible, a cabbage leaf full of currants, gathered on the spot, will be
added to the fete, to give it something of a horticultural air. The
excursion is expected to come off with great eclat, as Smithfield never
looked so blooming, or was so full, as at the present moment. Hig-
ginbottom's Brass Baud will attend before the Marquis of Granby, and
perform some of their most popular airs during the day.
OMNIBUS RACING INTELLIGENCE.
The fine ' "--lish sport of racing has been taken up with much
spirit by the ^......j<J.s drivers on the Brompton and Putney roads, who
turn t he highway into a course, and run against each other—or anything
else that may be in the way—from about 8 a. m. till midnight. The
Putney Pets" and the Brompton Beauties, as the competitors are called
by their respective backers, may be seen every five minutes at the
1 London Bridge Railway Station, from which, after several false starts,
they usually set away together and proceed not only neck and neck, but
neck or nothing, past King William's statue to the Mansion House,
which may be considered the first heat, when, after a few more false
starts, they make all the running they can to Charing Cross, where the
second heat terminates. The race increases greatly in interest from
this point, for it assumes the character of a steeple chase at St.
Martin's Church, and the usual fence work of hurdles, ditches, or other
miscellaneous obstructions is supplied by the old women and the fruit
stalls, which form a very efficient substitute for the customary im-
pediments in sport of this description. The old two-penny original,
which from the broken-winded character of one of the cattle—since re-
tired—used to be known as the " two-penny buster," makes very little
running, and in fact is only placed among the outsiders, the number of
outsiders that it carries being quite unlimited.
As these races are likelv to continue, we think it would be advisable
for the public to keep the course thoroughly clear of all vehicles and
passengers during the period when the road is occupied by the Pets,
Bucks, and Beauties of Putney and Brompton. It is true that the
racing continues throughout the day, and it might be inconvenient to
shut up the road as a public thoroughfare, but while it is used as an
omnibus race-course, the course we recommend is the only one that can
be safely followed.___
Not the Slightest Relation to Duke Humphrey— Sib James
Duke.