DOI issue:
July to December, 1849
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16604#0121
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
109
SERYE US EIGHT.
here was a great stir in the dark among the
pictures in the Vernon Gallery, one fine Friday
morning, a few weeks ago :
"What's the row? " said a ra'her low-
Jifed Good all to a barefaced (and bodied)
Etty.
I suppose we're going 1o be flayed^ like
DOMESTIC BLISS, v. DINNERS.
{Being a Pathetic Episode from a Tragedy of Private Life.)
No l.—From Mrs. Mary A—, to Mrs. Eliza B-
" Oh, my own Eliza !
" Eor the first time in a married life of many years—sometimes,
perhaps, a little tedious, but never decidedly unhappy—I write to you
e old uns upstairs replied ine JLTTr. ^ thg feflrj ^ sQ gxcuse Uots_ jQn knQW wbat a sweet.
Wedont mind-we re nudes-but for all | f red ms?7^sat;sfied creature A- used to be—the best of
you decent Leslies and Mtjlreadys ! no. ^siands_ne^r looked at a house-bill twice; never dined at bis Club;
T 5J i t\,t_ n j t ^ „ and contint with cold mutton when convenient, and nothing better for
I won t be scrubbed, barked a Landseer. dinqer_ ^ he uas & Uttle ^ j felt that ft was ft he wag not
1aon t want washing, murmured a micy Constable, particular, especially in t he way of dinners. But, my love, all this is at
Hold your silly tongues, interposed, a calm Callcot, It s only aQ €nd , j am in a fair w t0 be driven to become a Asperate woman
Mr. Sheepshakks going to present his pictures to the nation. Qr a C0Q^ ^ m own ji(me ,
"fere 's no room," shouted a score of uneasy works. ( I « You have hea.d, 1 dare sav, of one SoYER-cook, I understand at
ir 7Th;ere,s D1°[e °,f us tha,n can be seen already. broke m Maclise s qne of those odum dubs) whe"re be spendjs hig time b inventing new
X-^TO/io from the dark walk . . 'dishes, and has a kitchen, I am like a drawing-room, with a
Better lease the black hole at Calcutta to hang em m, gloomily i chemical apparatuS} and unlimited credit at the butcher's. My miserv
murmured Egg s Gil Bias ]ies at that man>s door. you will naturauy ask how. A-came
It s just parfectly redaculous, drily suggested a T\ llkje. leU; home the other dav. Poor llttle had tlie hooplng-couyh, and
Maister Sheepshakks there, snae accommodation for ony mair, forbye had been at tbe' Zoological Gardens, and there wasn't much of a
the sair press there is already m this Nawtional Purgatory. . . dinner-but quite as good as many I have seen A-thankful for.
Do not alarm yourselves my friends, interposed thes cheering voice It was a cold joint with pickles. I noticed A- didn't eat as
of Vernon from his frame; my friend Sheepshanks has profited by heartu ag usuaL Tq the mMle of dimer he ]aid down his knife md
my melancholy example. He wall not bestow his pictures where they fw]c aud inquired m a solenin wav if j didn't lhmk there was a sanie.
wiU not.be decently provided for He wlU not ndlify a national benefit i ness about CQ,d meat ? T couldn't believe my ears, sad I'm sure I
by consigning his gift to, the custody of a rvational Gallery I have it dou,t kcow wM T s&[i whgn hg weut 0Q and asked in & confused but
from tne best authority that he intends to present his collection to the | stm covfident way U 1 k'new how to niake a F<jt.au_Feu, or Croquettes.
University of Oxford. 1 here your brethren will at least have light and j T |h ^ h ft t crochet.work but it appears he ^AeA to a dish
air. It those who come to visit them be fewer, they will at least be I __a jirgncb d{sb
enabled to see and appreciate I was the first-and no doubt I shall be | " j said X was" ristonished at hjs conduct, when he began, and gave me a
the last-foolish enough to believe that a costly gem was worth a decent rtcnt about cuttm cdd beef ^Q ^ 'and p^g^ a stew°_pan wlth
settmg-that a good picture deserved a fair franie-that a national | finel^hopped 0//tW%nd bread crumbs, and fried plrsley, and gracious
benefactor and his benefit were entitled to a worthier emple and a -j.^^ ^ , You'n, ^ j looked ,^ ^ he ^ent Qn
more fitting receptacle than what was meant for a coal-cellar, and is not; about a d dmner b;in nQ mQre e ive than a on if
spacious enough for a wine-vault. knew how to manage it> an(f _about the best W being good
and how attractive homes might be made by good dinners—and then, at
last, the murder came out, in the shape of a little blue-covered book
called " the Modern Housewife," which he begged me to study. And
I assure you, my dear, that book contains enough 1o poison the
peace of all families that don't keep a professed cook, and gives
1 'A is sprouting in the country newspapers It has laken d t f u fc f . fak ^d fa f fare f ' u £ f
such rapid root lately, that we expect it wJl qu cUy supplant the ^ and ^ ^ serigs f ^ 'between M L-and Mm>
Enoruious Cabbage," and put an end to that Enormous Goose-1 -L} who I don't believe ever existed.
berry which has been growing larger and larger every year, until at | « 0h> 'my bve> lf yQU Wlgh to be happy in futur6j don>t ]et B-
Wo Vi Can n a ' « t D/,-L»- ii ■jiii p get hold of this book. I hope Soyer is a miserable man, who wrote it,
We have recently dug up a Large Radish" m the printed bed of i %. i,„ mi.u +_ y~
the Chesterfield Reporter. It is " of the salmon-colour kind," and would '
have been a radish quite to the taste of Sir Humphrey Davy. It
" measured 16 inches m circumference, and has never made the attempt
to run into seed; " which is very kind on its part, but probably its
enormous size prevented its running. Why, this ambitious radish
must have been aspiring to be a carrot. Inflated vegetable !
We do not understand exactly why the sub-editors of the provincial
Press restrict us to Vegetable Diet. They never get out of the Kitchen-
Garden. Why not ramble into the farm-yard, or take a stroll in the corn-
field ? Are there not wonderful ears of corn, and Enormous Pigs, and
Extraordinary Hens, gifted with wonderful powers of Incubation. We
should like an Enormous Egg for our breakfast, just to give a flavour to
our tea. The country Press must vary its food. _ The metropolitan
appetite is good, but they must not abuse it. Toujours Gooseberry is
only making a fool of us. Toujours Cabbage would even make a tailor
swear. Now we should like a "Tremendous Take of Salmon," " a Large
Goose," " an Enormous Battue of Partridges," with a " Wonderful
Bunch of Grapes" next week. We are growing dainty, and can lake
nothing short of the above bill of fare.
THE KITCHEN-GARDEN OF ENGLISH LITERATURE.
I remain, your unhappy Priend,
" Mary A—
A Very Mad Bull.
The Standard informs its readers that, a Bull, on its way from Smith-
field to the slaughter-house, waked into the printer's room of that
journal, and remained there for fifteen minutes. No doubt the animal
expected to make his appearance in one of the Standard's Irish leading
articles, ift f hich we have long been familiar with BuMs of the most
formidable dimensions.
motto eor moses.
" Poeta nascitur, nonfit."
AnglicS: A poet, but not a fit on the premises.
" From Mrs. Eliza B—, to Mrs. Mary A—."
" My dearest Mary,
" Don't make yourself unhappy on my account. A fortnight
before I got your leiter I purchased Soyer's book, wiihout B-'s
knowledge ; studied it, and worked from it. B--has been an
altered man ever since. For remember how he used to dine from home
—being detained by business, as he said. But since I've tried
some tittle dinners, he hasn't missed a meal. It was only yesterday,
that in return for a shoulder of mutton a la Provengale (which
didn't cost more than sixpence to do, beyond what the plain roast
would have done), he took me into Madame Crinoline's and presented
me with a love of a bonnet. I want a shawl to match it, and am
gDing to make an attack to-morrow with a " Turban de Croquettes
a I'Epigram." Don't be frightened at the name. It isn't near so
difficult, to make as to read, and from the receipt, I should think
will prove irresistible. What a pity it was, A--found out the
book first!
" I'd recommend you to make the best of a bad bargain, however,
and submit to the book. I agree with you that plain dinners are done
for, and that cold meat two days running v ill soon be considered good
ground for a separation—a mensd—at least.
" Yours, very faithfully,
" Eliza B--."
the i. 0. V. column.
A creditor wras lately asked what the Duke of York's Column was
erected in honour of. " I don't know," he said, " unless it's the Great
Unpaid."
109
SERYE US EIGHT.
here was a great stir in the dark among the
pictures in the Vernon Gallery, one fine Friday
morning, a few weeks ago :
"What's the row? " said a ra'her low-
Jifed Good all to a barefaced (and bodied)
Etty.
I suppose we're going 1o be flayed^ like
DOMESTIC BLISS, v. DINNERS.
{Being a Pathetic Episode from a Tragedy of Private Life.)
No l.—From Mrs. Mary A—, to Mrs. Eliza B-
" Oh, my own Eliza !
" Eor the first time in a married life of many years—sometimes,
perhaps, a little tedious, but never decidedly unhappy—I write to you
e old uns upstairs replied ine JLTTr. ^ thg feflrj ^ sQ gxcuse Uots_ jQn knQW wbat a sweet.
Wedont mind-we re nudes-but for all | f red ms?7^sat;sfied creature A- used to be—the best of
you decent Leslies and Mtjlreadys ! no. ^siands_ne^r looked at a house-bill twice; never dined at bis Club;
T 5J i t\,t_ n j t ^ „ and contint with cold mutton when convenient, and nothing better for
I won t be scrubbed, barked a Landseer. dinqer_ ^ he uas & Uttle ^ j felt that ft was ft he wag not
1aon t want washing, murmured a micy Constable, particular, especially in t he way of dinners. But, my love, all this is at
Hold your silly tongues, interposed, a calm Callcot, It s only aQ €nd , j am in a fair w t0 be driven to become a Asperate woman
Mr. Sheepshakks going to present his pictures to the nation. Qr a C0Q^ ^ m own ji(me ,
"fere 's no room," shouted a score of uneasy works. ( I « You have hea.d, 1 dare sav, of one SoYER-cook, I understand at
ir 7Th;ere,s D1°[e °,f us tha,n can be seen already. broke m Maclise s qne of those odum dubs) whe"re be spendjs hig time b inventing new
X-^TO/io from the dark walk . . 'dishes, and has a kitchen, I am like a drawing-room, with a
Better lease the black hole at Calcutta to hang em m, gloomily i chemical apparatuS} and unlimited credit at the butcher's. My miserv
murmured Egg s Gil Bias ]ies at that man>s door. you will naturauy ask how. A-came
It s just parfectly redaculous, drily suggested a T\ llkje. leU; home the other dav. Poor llttle had tlie hooplng-couyh, and
Maister Sheepshakks there, snae accommodation for ony mair, forbye had been at tbe' Zoological Gardens, and there wasn't much of a
the sair press there is already m this Nawtional Purgatory. . . dinner-but quite as good as many I have seen A-thankful for.
Do not alarm yourselves my friends, interposed thes cheering voice It was a cold joint with pickles. I noticed A- didn't eat as
of Vernon from his frame; my friend Sheepshanks has profited by heartu ag usuaL Tq the mMle of dimer he ]aid down his knife md
my melancholy example. He wall not bestow his pictures where they fw]c aud inquired m a solenin wav if j didn't lhmk there was a sanie.
wiU not.be decently provided for He wlU not ndlify a national benefit i ness about CQ,d meat ? T couldn't believe my ears, sad I'm sure I
by consigning his gift to, the custody of a rvational Gallery I have it dou,t kcow wM T s&[i whgn hg weut 0Q and asked in & confused but
from tne best authority that he intends to present his collection to the | stm covfident way U 1 k'new how to niake a F<jt.au_Feu, or Croquettes.
University of Oxford. 1 here your brethren will at least have light and j T |h ^ h ft t crochet.work but it appears he ^AeA to a dish
air. It those who come to visit them be fewer, they will at least be I __a jirgncb d{sb
enabled to see and appreciate I was the first-and no doubt I shall be | " j said X was" ristonished at hjs conduct, when he began, and gave me a
the last-foolish enough to believe that a costly gem was worth a decent rtcnt about cuttm cdd beef ^Q ^ 'and p^g^ a stew°_pan wlth
settmg-that a good picture deserved a fair franie-that a national | finel^hopped 0//tW%nd bread crumbs, and fried plrsley, and gracious
benefactor and his benefit were entitled to a worthier emple and a -j.^^ ^ , You'n, ^ j looked ,^ ^ he ^ent Qn
more fitting receptacle than what was meant for a coal-cellar, and is not; about a d dmner b;in nQ mQre e ive than a on if
spacious enough for a wine-vault. knew how to manage it> an(f _about the best W being good
and how attractive homes might be made by good dinners—and then, at
last, the murder came out, in the shape of a little blue-covered book
called " the Modern Housewife," which he begged me to study. And
I assure you, my dear, that book contains enough 1o poison the
peace of all families that don't keep a professed cook, and gives
1 'A is sprouting in the country newspapers It has laken d t f u fc f . fak ^d fa f fare f ' u £ f
such rapid root lately, that we expect it wJl qu cUy supplant the ^ and ^ ^ serigs f ^ 'between M L-and Mm>
Enoruious Cabbage," and put an end to that Enormous Goose-1 -L} who I don't believe ever existed.
berry which has been growing larger and larger every year, until at | « 0h> 'my bve> lf yQU Wlgh to be happy in futur6j don>t ]et B-
Wo Vi Can n a ' « t D/,-L»- ii ■jiii p get hold of this book. I hope Soyer is a miserable man, who wrote it,
We have recently dug up a Large Radish" m the printed bed of i %. i,„ mi.u +_ y~
the Chesterfield Reporter. It is " of the salmon-colour kind," and would '
have been a radish quite to the taste of Sir Humphrey Davy. It
" measured 16 inches m circumference, and has never made the attempt
to run into seed; " which is very kind on its part, but probably its
enormous size prevented its running. Why, this ambitious radish
must have been aspiring to be a carrot. Inflated vegetable !
We do not understand exactly why the sub-editors of the provincial
Press restrict us to Vegetable Diet. They never get out of the Kitchen-
Garden. Why not ramble into the farm-yard, or take a stroll in the corn-
field ? Are there not wonderful ears of corn, and Enormous Pigs, and
Extraordinary Hens, gifted with wonderful powers of Incubation. We
should like an Enormous Egg for our breakfast, just to give a flavour to
our tea. The country Press must vary its food. _ The metropolitan
appetite is good, but they must not abuse it. Toujours Gooseberry is
only making a fool of us. Toujours Cabbage would even make a tailor
swear. Now we should like a "Tremendous Take of Salmon," " a Large
Goose," " an Enormous Battue of Partridges," with a " Wonderful
Bunch of Grapes" next week. We are growing dainty, and can lake
nothing short of the above bill of fare.
THE KITCHEN-GARDEN OF ENGLISH LITERATURE.
I remain, your unhappy Priend,
" Mary A—
A Very Mad Bull.
The Standard informs its readers that, a Bull, on its way from Smith-
field to the slaughter-house, waked into the printer's room of that
journal, and remained there for fifteen minutes. No doubt the animal
expected to make his appearance in one of the Standard's Irish leading
articles, ift f hich we have long been familiar with BuMs of the most
formidable dimensions.
motto eor moses.
" Poeta nascitur, nonfit."
AnglicS: A poet, but not a fit on the premises.
" From Mrs. Eliza B—, to Mrs. Mary A—."
" My dearest Mary,
" Don't make yourself unhappy on my account. A fortnight
before I got your leiter I purchased Soyer's book, wiihout B-'s
knowledge ; studied it, and worked from it. B--has been an
altered man ever since. For remember how he used to dine from home
—being detained by business, as he said. But since I've tried
some tittle dinners, he hasn't missed a meal. It was only yesterday,
that in return for a shoulder of mutton a la Provengale (which
didn't cost more than sixpence to do, beyond what the plain roast
would have done), he took me into Madame Crinoline's and presented
me with a love of a bonnet. I want a shawl to match it, and am
gDing to make an attack to-morrow with a " Turban de Croquettes
a I'Epigram." Don't be frightened at the name. It isn't near so
difficult, to make as to read, and from the receipt, I should think
will prove irresistible. What a pity it was, A--found out the
book first!
" I'd recommend you to make the best of a bad bargain, however,
and submit to the book. I agree with you that plain dinners are done
for, and that cold meat two days running v ill soon be considered good
ground for a separation—a mensd—at least.
" Yours, very faithfully,
" Eliza B--."
the i. 0. V. column.
A creditor wras lately asked what the Duke of York's Column was
erected in honour of. " I don't know," he said, " unless it's the Great
Unpaid."