DOI issue:
July to December, 1849
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16604#0192
180
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
YOUR MONEY, OR—" COMPEN-
SATION."
It seems that no less than 8000 writs
were issued last year by the Palace Court.
These were properly 8000 cases of ex-
tortion or persecution, purposely taken
into the Palace Court to swell the costs.
The Court, we are told, is to be abolished
at the end of this year, but compensation
is to be given to every one who had an
interest in it. Compensation for what ?
For the maintenance of a vile sinecure,
for a public wrong, for a wholesale rob-
bery. If any one should be compensated,
it ought to be the 8000 persons against
whom the writs above mentioned were
taken out. They are the real sufferers—
but there is no talk of compensation for
them. The persons who shared the
plunder are to. receive a further plunder
in the shape of compensation money, but
those who were plundered are nor, even
to have the money of which they were
shamelessly plundered returned to them.
Surely, there is something faulty, some-
thing almost wicked, in this system of
compensation. We pay people because
they have been thriving all their lives
upon abuses. The greater the abuse,
generally, the greater the compensation.
We would not give these Palace Court
gentlemen a farthing. If the Palace Court
be paid, we shall not be astonished to see
Mb. Hudson come forward and demand
compensation!
the
FUN AT FARMERS' DINNERS.
Mb. Punch will really be obliged to
invite himself personally to an agricul-
tural dinner ; a kind of banquet whereat
the good clreer, (notwithstanding agri-
cultural starvation) and the equally good
fun, seem, united, to form a treat which
Mr. P. cannot longer deny himself. He
would have given away several numbers
of his popular periodical, gratis, to have
been present, the other day, at the Guild-
ford banquet, could he have foreseen the
sport which befel there. The newspaper
reports of the festivity are, however,
more than droll enough, and from these
records Mr. Punch, in convulsions of
mirth, with difficulty transcribes the
following extracts :—
"At the conclusion of a substantial repast, the
usual loyal toasts were given, and drunk in rapid
succsssion."
(So it would seem).
" The Chairman then observed, that the present
was an agricultural and not a political meeting,
and that any gentleman who trespassed on the
forbidden ground of politics would be at once
called to order."
This announcement, it is stated, was
received with " cheers." The reporter,
doubtless, meant "laughter," and if
he had not attended more to his dining
than his reporting, would have informed
us that the worthy chairman uttered the
above words with a marked ironical em-
phasis, and followed them up by making
a-face and taking a sight, at the company,
who responded by cries of " Over the
left," and appropriate gestures. For he,
immediately afterwards, having given
"The Army and Navy," coupled with
the-name of Lobd Egmont:—
" His Lordship, in acknowledging the toasti
said he regretted to observe that there was rising
)w,
up in this country a base Republican action, which was endeavouring to
squeeze a too squeezeable Government into accordance with their views,
and to destroy that glorious free Protestant constitutional monarchy of THE DUS1MAN.
which this country had so long justly boasted."
&c.! ,&e.!! &c.!!! &e.!!!! &c. j!! \ \ I knew the dustman years ago ;
In this style (after the usual loyal toasts, &c.) proceeded I * s,ee °PfVW n?T:
the noble Lord to the end of his oration, without any other ! His fan-tail d hat, his footsteps slov
interruption than " cheers." ' . Huls velveteens his honest brow.
tom . , j. „ i c , i , ,. I A chord is touch d which but requires
, \°T}H (*Wme\t of al! \he humours of a political debating : A breath to blow the rust
ciub, (to toiio w a substantial repast and the usual loyal toasts), ; Which time deposil s on the wires
commend Mr. Punch to an agricultural dinner where politics ; T]mt vibrate to the cry of « Dusf. »
are tabooed, and where anybody who reters to them will be
at once called to order. \1 view within his mournful eye
— ---| Reflection's melancholy trace ;
: Thousands may pass him coldly by,
PRECIOUS LIBERTY! Volumes are written in his face.
It bears an impress full of thought,
A lesson that we all may trust;
The proudest may by one be taught,
Who knows so much of common dust.
I 've seen him turning o'er and o'er
The recently collected heap;
And oft with disappointment sore
I've watched him turn aside and weep:
: When all his scrutinising pains
Found nothing but a mouldy crust,
Not, e'en a tea-spoon, whose remains
Might give some value to the dust.
I've heard him in the saddest tones,
In language that the sense confoands,
Vent curses on the price of bones—
Eight paltry pence for twenty pounds.
: And then I've seen his visage fall,
And heard him say, " What must be
must ;
1 Vexation is the fate of all.
And all alike must end in dust."
I think he's now a wiser man ;
I fear he sometimes care beguiles
In beer's too captivating can :
I'm sure he very seldom smiles.
But this I know—that he has learn'd
With what is sad to blend what's just;
I've had a silver fork return'd
Which chance had thrown among the
dust.
Then visit not with harsh decree
The dustman who '11 at fate repine ;
How would it go with, you or me.
Were his condition yours or mine ?
It is a question opening wide
A thousand points to be discuss'd;
„j> ~==-**u^Lie=^JWMj^ii*i' But neither of us could abide
j Too close a sifting of our dust.
Pakdon, Madame, votkb passe-port, s'il vous plait." _
t> • • ^ ti* v. i A VOICE FROM THE STOMACH.
Panic m the Fish Market,
We regret to sav that the fish market has not emerged! Somebody recommends what he calls
from the panic into which it was thrown by the epidemic ? A v01ce lozenge which, it is asser-
which has now happily disappeared, though the public has ; ted' ,^es tone to ihe. stomach. This
not yet recovered its fishy appetite. Last week's prices show j fust ™ . veiT convenient to singers;
very little improvement, for oysters, which were dull at the for filing which gives tone to the
opening have continued in the same state, and mussels gave : stomach must add to the usual ad-
way so rapidly, that anything approaching muscular strength vanta§? of a vocf. f Peit°\ \ r«W
in'the market seemed utterly out of the question. A • voce fl ventre whifi would be hailed
speculator m eels let several slip through his fingers, and : anywhere as a decided novelty,
though oysters in the bed appeared at one time to be I, A stomach with a tone to it-must
getting up, they evidently required a great deal of bolstering. I be ^ to a baY'i organ, and would
The discovery of a new bed of oysters at Shoreham, marked furnish to a vocahfst ™t mfans of
out by four posts and forming a sort of four-post-bed, may, j comparing himself without being de-
perhaps, give the trade an impetus. ! pendent on any external instrument.
We can understand the stomach ot a
— 1 cat having a tone, for it is the source
_ . ! whence we derive all our fiddle-strings;
Orange Donkeyism. but the human stomach with a ton(f £
Mr. Beers, the Irish Orangeman and ex-magistrate, seems 'l\> is,a phenomenon which ought to make
determined not to allow the unfortunate notoriety which he |the Jozeil?e that produces it universally
has acquired in connexion with " Dolly's Brae " to subside, i P°Pular- _
He seems to glory in the honours of the Brae, and, in his
epistolary effusions on that subject, to have written himself 1 the cry 0]? thb protectionists.
down a kind of animal truly entitled to them. " Good luck protect us from Disraeli ! "
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
YOUR MONEY, OR—" COMPEN-
SATION."
It seems that no less than 8000 writs
were issued last year by the Palace Court.
These were properly 8000 cases of ex-
tortion or persecution, purposely taken
into the Palace Court to swell the costs.
The Court, we are told, is to be abolished
at the end of this year, but compensation
is to be given to every one who had an
interest in it. Compensation for what ?
For the maintenance of a vile sinecure,
for a public wrong, for a wholesale rob-
bery. If any one should be compensated,
it ought to be the 8000 persons against
whom the writs above mentioned were
taken out. They are the real sufferers—
but there is no talk of compensation for
them. The persons who shared the
plunder are to. receive a further plunder
in the shape of compensation money, but
those who were plundered are nor, even
to have the money of which they were
shamelessly plundered returned to them.
Surely, there is something faulty, some-
thing almost wicked, in this system of
compensation. We pay people because
they have been thriving all their lives
upon abuses. The greater the abuse,
generally, the greater the compensation.
We would not give these Palace Court
gentlemen a farthing. If the Palace Court
be paid, we shall not be astonished to see
Mb. Hudson come forward and demand
compensation!
the
FUN AT FARMERS' DINNERS.
Mb. Punch will really be obliged to
invite himself personally to an agricul-
tural dinner ; a kind of banquet whereat
the good clreer, (notwithstanding agri-
cultural starvation) and the equally good
fun, seem, united, to form a treat which
Mr. P. cannot longer deny himself. He
would have given away several numbers
of his popular periodical, gratis, to have
been present, the other day, at the Guild-
ford banquet, could he have foreseen the
sport which befel there. The newspaper
reports of the festivity are, however,
more than droll enough, and from these
records Mr. Punch, in convulsions of
mirth, with difficulty transcribes the
following extracts :—
"At the conclusion of a substantial repast, the
usual loyal toasts were given, and drunk in rapid
succsssion."
(So it would seem).
" The Chairman then observed, that the present
was an agricultural and not a political meeting,
and that any gentleman who trespassed on the
forbidden ground of politics would be at once
called to order."
This announcement, it is stated, was
received with " cheers." The reporter,
doubtless, meant "laughter," and if
he had not attended more to his dining
than his reporting, would have informed
us that the worthy chairman uttered the
above words with a marked ironical em-
phasis, and followed them up by making
a-face and taking a sight, at the company,
who responded by cries of " Over the
left," and appropriate gestures. For he,
immediately afterwards, having given
"The Army and Navy," coupled with
the-name of Lobd Egmont:—
" His Lordship, in acknowledging the toasti
said he regretted to observe that there was rising
)w,
up in this country a base Republican action, which was endeavouring to
squeeze a too squeezeable Government into accordance with their views,
and to destroy that glorious free Protestant constitutional monarchy of THE DUS1MAN.
which this country had so long justly boasted."
&c.! ,&e.!! &c.!!! &e.!!!! &c. j!! \ \ I knew the dustman years ago ;
In this style (after the usual loyal toasts, &c.) proceeded I * s,ee °PfVW n?T:
the noble Lord to the end of his oration, without any other ! His fan-tail d hat, his footsteps slov
interruption than " cheers." ' . Huls velveteens his honest brow.
tom . , j. „ i c , i , ,. I A chord is touch d which but requires
, \°T}H (*Wme\t of al! \he humours of a political debating : A breath to blow the rust
ciub, (to toiio w a substantial repast and the usual loyal toasts), ; Which time deposil s on the wires
commend Mr. Punch to an agricultural dinner where politics ; T]mt vibrate to the cry of « Dusf. »
are tabooed, and where anybody who reters to them will be
at once called to order. \1 view within his mournful eye
— ---| Reflection's melancholy trace ;
: Thousands may pass him coldly by,
PRECIOUS LIBERTY! Volumes are written in his face.
It bears an impress full of thought,
A lesson that we all may trust;
The proudest may by one be taught,
Who knows so much of common dust.
I 've seen him turning o'er and o'er
The recently collected heap;
And oft with disappointment sore
I've watched him turn aside and weep:
: When all his scrutinising pains
Found nothing but a mouldy crust,
Not, e'en a tea-spoon, whose remains
Might give some value to the dust.
I've heard him in the saddest tones,
In language that the sense confoands,
Vent curses on the price of bones—
Eight paltry pence for twenty pounds.
: And then I've seen his visage fall,
And heard him say, " What must be
must ;
1 Vexation is the fate of all.
And all alike must end in dust."
I think he's now a wiser man ;
I fear he sometimes care beguiles
In beer's too captivating can :
I'm sure he very seldom smiles.
But this I know—that he has learn'd
With what is sad to blend what's just;
I've had a silver fork return'd
Which chance had thrown among the
dust.
Then visit not with harsh decree
The dustman who '11 at fate repine ;
How would it go with, you or me.
Were his condition yours or mine ?
It is a question opening wide
A thousand points to be discuss'd;
„j> ~==-**u^Lie=^JWMj^ii*i' But neither of us could abide
j Too close a sifting of our dust.
Pakdon, Madame, votkb passe-port, s'il vous plait." _
t> • • ^ ti* v. i A VOICE FROM THE STOMACH.
Panic m the Fish Market,
We regret to sav that the fish market has not emerged! Somebody recommends what he calls
from the panic into which it was thrown by the epidemic ? A v01ce lozenge which, it is asser-
which has now happily disappeared, though the public has ; ted' ,^es tone to ihe. stomach. This
not yet recovered its fishy appetite. Last week's prices show j fust ™ . veiT convenient to singers;
very little improvement, for oysters, which were dull at the for filing which gives tone to the
opening have continued in the same state, and mussels gave : stomach must add to the usual ad-
way so rapidly, that anything approaching muscular strength vanta§? of a vocf. f Peit°\ \ r«W
in'the market seemed utterly out of the question. A • voce fl ventre whifi would be hailed
speculator m eels let several slip through his fingers, and : anywhere as a decided novelty,
though oysters in the bed appeared at one time to be I, A stomach with a tone to it-must
getting up, they evidently required a great deal of bolstering. I be ^ to a baY'i organ, and would
The discovery of a new bed of oysters at Shoreham, marked furnish to a vocahfst ™t mfans of
out by four posts and forming a sort of four-post-bed, may, j comparing himself without being de-
perhaps, give the trade an impetus. ! pendent on any external instrument.
We can understand the stomach ot a
— 1 cat having a tone, for it is the source
_ . ! whence we derive all our fiddle-strings;
Orange Donkeyism. but the human stomach with a ton(f £
Mr. Beers, the Irish Orangeman and ex-magistrate, seems 'l\> is,a phenomenon which ought to make
determined not to allow the unfortunate notoriety which he |the Jozeil?e that produces it universally
has acquired in connexion with " Dolly's Brae " to subside, i P°Pular- _
He seems to glory in the honours of the Brae, and, in his
epistolary effusions on that subject, to have written himself 1 the cry 0]? thb protectionists.
down a kind of animal truly entitled to them. " Good luck protect us from Disraeli ! "