DOI issue:
July to December, 1849
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16604#0204
192 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
about the fields, and down the groves, burning the grass with his foot-
steps, and singeing the leaves with his cloak—Mr. Wiggins bounced
forward, and said ne had but a very few words to treat 'em with ; and,
as I thought, all the better; for the words he did say, every one of 'em
dropped from his mouth like a red-hot cannon-ball, and—I couldn't help
it—1 saw all England in a blaze, and London taken by the Cart-Horse
xleavy Dragoons, and the Reaping-Hook Artillery, and the Light Flail
Volunteers,—-and me, and Mouses, and the children hidden in the
beer cellar while the sack went on,—and Mb. Cobden's head off on
Tower Hill, and Mb. Bbight—with Mb. Ferrand riding as Sheriff—
on his way to Tyburn. All this I saw, and who could help it P for
"Wiggins, with a terrible look, and a voice like a clap of thunder, called
upon Government; and he said if Government didn't choose to answer
to the call, why, then, he and all of them were ready for a scramble.
" Up with wheat," cried Wiggins, " or we '11 fight for the rise ! " And,
certainly, he looked as if he meant it; for he flourished his arms about,
as though giving the meeting a sample of his muscles ; and the meeting
—every man in it—jumped up, and gave such a shout—I'm sure there
wasn't a quartern loaf, between us and Charing Cross, that didn't leap
again upon the baker's shelf, at the very sound.
And to see that Duke op Richmond, and to fancy him with his
coronet—" with his pearls upon his brow," as the song says—as meek
and mild in his chair as any two-year baby with sugared bread-and-
butter—to see him with not a pucker in his face, listening to such
cannon-balls in syllables, did, I must say it, cause astonishment, if not
admiration, in the breast of
Yours truly, Mr. Fundi,
The Honeysuckles. Amelia Mousek.
HOUSEHOLD WORDS."
Botheb.—A word in great use when a stupid visitor has called, or a
dress has not come home, or the hair will not curl, or the pen will not
write, or the shoe will not come on, or any other little domestic
annoyance.
Fiddlestick.—A word strongly expressive of contempt. It crushes
all reply. When a lady once says " Fiddlestick," he must be a bold
man who ventures to say another word.
Fiddle-de-dee.—The same as " Fiddlestick," only a degree milder.
Ducky.—A term of endearment, applied indiscriminately when' a
favour is to be asked.
Indeed !—An ejaculation, " strongly recommended for family use."
It implies doubt, a contemptuous denial, a gentle refusal, and saves an
infinity of useless explanation. Much may be said with that word
" Indeed !" It all depends upon the way in which it is pronounced.
" Deat it ! "—Very emphatic, almost amounting to an oath. It
should be used very sparingly, even by ladies.
Delicious.—A word that, coming from a young lady's lips, conveys
the highest, possible amount of praise. It is applied equally to Mario's
singing, Gunteb's ices, Hotjbigant's gloves, Frank Stone's pictures,
Ferraris' dancing, and means perfection in each instance.
Spooney.—A young man who cannot dance or talk, or talks no
bevter than he dances, or vice versa. A young man who wears clogs
and mittens, and sings sentimental songs with a lisp, and _ has turned-
down collars, and a miniature which he always carries in his waistcoat-
pockety on the side nearest his heart, would take rank in household
estimation as a "spooney."
Dumpy.—Unhappy, miserable. Any one who has a cold, or is dis-
agreeable, or has been disappointed, or has received bad news, or an
unpleasant truth, is said to look " Dumpy." FAMILY METAPHYSICS.
Among the recent literary births, we observe that of a• ry has
Lateness of the Season. called the British Controversialist. Our new-born contemp
W, saw last week, in the.Park, a pair of Ducks of the most spotless '^^<?%S$tig£g$S£?~ , o*
observed in pairs—are an extremely chilly bird. The least drop of
water sends them flying, and they do not stop till they get under
shelter. This is most extraordinary in this bird, for it is well known to
naturalists, that the Duck is, generally speaking, very fond of the rain,
and, instead of running away from water, takes it as naturally as a tee-
totaller. The London Ducks, which are the surest signs of an early
summer, are very late indeed this season.
THE HOUSELESS COMMONS.
It is not generally known that the representatives of the people a
only in lodgings at the present time; for until their own House is com-
pleted, they are occupying " genteel apartments," the rent of whicn
paid from the public Treasury. t ,, ^
We are therefore interested in knowing how the building for W'
permanent occupation is going on; and we are glad to nea^ ° 9e
weather permitting," the Commons are to go into their new -tL°ugj;
forthwith; but if the evenings should become cold, the Commons m
keep on for a week or two longer in their present lodgings. We ca,
see that there need be any want of warmth, for there are ai
members ready to make the House almost too hot to hold anytbuig- ^
Much curiosity has been excited in the minds of several M-i,- >tjie
the presence of nine enormous boilers which are standing w
quadrangle, and the intended uses of which boilers are rather aup •
There is surely enough of " Bubble, bubble, Toil and trouble, . is
House without the introduction of nine tremendous boilers, wnio g
said by some are designed lor the express purpose of enabling gi
who make a display of their indignation to boil over with it. I fej.jieSe
of the lobby were the other night very active on the subject oi^oge
vast reservoirs of hot water; and a Parliamentary wit, one ot ^
jokes wa3 once permitted to appear by courtesy in the pages ot + nS
was heard to remark, that the nine boilers looked as if t"6,- ^em-
intended boiling themselves to prevent others from roasting a.
The M.P. who perpetrated this deserves, in our opinion, not sin v
roasting but a basting also, for his atrocity.
i am not what i seem,
ma?hS0uWwbeane^llentlll0tt0 for some trowsers recently
S5r o ' « o^Che,-ter °Pe»Vve- who hf4S j"st turned out a complete
C conaidSSK*uatlon,s without a single seam. Such garments cannot
stmSn- r^^femly»?otwithstandingthe peculiarity of their con-
^MSi£ta^b^n,^s' and the Population would be
capital punishments to be abolished ? ., s0pber9r
It has been determined by the most profound female P^_.?hat s0 f
the best judges, of course, in all questions about beauty * 0bjects>
from beauty being inherent in any object, the very nature or a uglifle^
or that which causes an object to be an object, is downrig' ji^n0^]:
That an hereditary monarchy is preferable, is clear from the ^g j.0 tl^
circumstance that an elective sovereign very seldom succeeds. ^der as
abolition of capital punishments, we really must say that w r ^ ji»
the presumption of anybody who can raise such a Quest*° forbids uS
been so satisfactorily disposed of by—our innate modesty
say whom. _
Civic Inconsistency. , ,, Q[tfa*
The Metropolitan Interments Bill is complained of m,. * c0o!lB/
part of a system of centralisation. This is a strange objec" fobfifif
from those who may be truly said to go the whole hog m ^
by keeping up their Smithfield in the middle of London.
about the fields, and down the groves, burning the grass with his foot-
steps, and singeing the leaves with his cloak—Mr. Wiggins bounced
forward, and said ne had but a very few words to treat 'em with ; and,
as I thought, all the better; for the words he did say, every one of 'em
dropped from his mouth like a red-hot cannon-ball, and—I couldn't help
it—1 saw all England in a blaze, and London taken by the Cart-Horse
xleavy Dragoons, and the Reaping-Hook Artillery, and the Light Flail
Volunteers,—-and me, and Mouses, and the children hidden in the
beer cellar while the sack went on,—and Mb. Cobden's head off on
Tower Hill, and Mb. Bbight—with Mb. Ferrand riding as Sheriff—
on his way to Tyburn. All this I saw, and who could help it P for
"Wiggins, with a terrible look, and a voice like a clap of thunder, called
upon Government; and he said if Government didn't choose to answer
to the call, why, then, he and all of them were ready for a scramble.
" Up with wheat," cried Wiggins, " or we '11 fight for the rise ! " And,
certainly, he looked as if he meant it; for he flourished his arms about,
as though giving the meeting a sample of his muscles ; and the meeting
—every man in it—jumped up, and gave such a shout—I'm sure there
wasn't a quartern loaf, between us and Charing Cross, that didn't leap
again upon the baker's shelf, at the very sound.
And to see that Duke op Richmond, and to fancy him with his
coronet—" with his pearls upon his brow," as the song says—as meek
and mild in his chair as any two-year baby with sugared bread-and-
butter—to see him with not a pucker in his face, listening to such
cannon-balls in syllables, did, I must say it, cause astonishment, if not
admiration, in the breast of
Yours truly, Mr. Fundi,
The Honeysuckles. Amelia Mousek.
HOUSEHOLD WORDS."
Botheb.—A word in great use when a stupid visitor has called, or a
dress has not come home, or the hair will not curl, or the pen will not
write, or the shoe will not come on, or any other little domestic
annoyance.
Fiddlestick.—A word strongly expressive of contempt. It crushes
all reply. When a lady once says " Fiddlestick," he must be a bold
man who ventures to say another word.
Fiddle-de-dee.—The same as " Fiddlestick," only a degree milder.
Ducky.—A term of endearment, applied indiscriminately when' a
favour is to be asked.
Indeed !—An ejaculation, " strongly recommended for family use."
It implies doubt, a contemptuous denial, a gentle refusal, and saves an
infinity of useless explanation. Much may be said with that word
" Indeed !" It all depends upon the way in which it is pronounced.
" Deat it ! "—Very emphatic, almost amounting to an oath. It
should be used very sparingly, even by ladies.
Delicious.—A word that, coming from a young lady's lips, conveys
the highest, possible amount of praise. It is applied equally to Mario's
singing, Gunteb's ices, Hotjbigant's gloves, Frank Stone's pictures,
Ferraris' dancing, and means perfection in each instance.
Spooney.—A young man who cannot dance or talk, or talks no
bevter than he dances, or vice versa. A young man who wears clogs
and mittens, and sings sentimental songs with a lisp, and _ has turned-
down collars, and a miniature which he always carries in his waistcoat-
pockety on the side nearest his heart, would take rank in household
estimation as a "spooney."
Dumpy.—Unhappy, miserable. Any one who has a cold, or is dis-
agreeable, or has been disappointed, or has received bad news, or an
unpleasant truth, is said to look " Dumpy." FAMILY METAPHYSICS.
Among the recent literary births, we observe that of a• ry has
Lateness of the Season. called the British Controversialist. Our new-born contemp
W, saw last week, in the.Park, a pair of Ducks of the most spotless '^^<?%S$tig£g$S£?~ , o*
observed in pairs—are an extremely chilly bird. The least drop of
water sends them flying, and they do not stop till they get under
shelter. This is most extraordinary in this bird, for it is well known to
naturalists, that the Duck is, generally speaking, very fond of the rain,
and, instead of running away from water, takes it as naturally as a tee-
totaller. The London Ducks, which are the surest signs of an early
summer, are very late indeed this season.
THE HOUSELESS COMMONS.
It is not generally known that the representatives of the people a
only in lodgings at the present time; for until their own House is com-
pleted, they are occupying " genteel apartments," the rent of whicn
paid from the public Treasury. t ,, ^
We are therefore interested in knowing how the building for W'
permanent occupation is going on; and we are glad to nea^ ° 9e
weather permitting," the Commons are to go into their new -tL°ugj;
forthwith; but if the evenings should become cold, the Commons m
keep on for a week or two longer in their present lodgings. We ca,
see that there need be any want of warmth, for there are ai
members ready to make the House almost too hot to hold anytbuig- ^
Much curiosity has been excited in the minds of several M-i,- >tjie
the presence of nine enormous boilers which are standing w
quadrangle, and the intended uses of which boilers are rather aup •
There is surely enough of " Bubble, bubble, Toil and trouble, . is
House without the introduction of nine tremendous boilers, wnio g
said by some are designed lor the express purpose of enabling gi
who make a display of their indignation to boil over with it. I fej.jieSe
of the lobby were the other night very active on the subject oi^oge
vast reservoirs of hot water; and a Parliamentary wit, one ot ^
jokes wa3 once permitted to appear by courtesy in the pages ot + nS
was heard to remark, that the nine boilers looked as if t"6,- ^em-
intended boiling themselves to prevent others from roasting a.
The M.P. who perpetrated this deserves, in our opinion, not sin v
roasting but a basting also, for his atrocity.
i am not what i seem,
ma?hS0uWwbeane^llentlll0tt0 for some trowsers recently
S5r o ' « o^Che,-ter °Pe»Vve- who hf4S j"st turned out a complete
C conaidSSK*uatlon,s without a single seam. Such garments cannot
stmSn- r^^femly»?otwithstandingthe peculiarity of their con-
^MSi£ta^b^n,^s' and the Population would be
capital punishments to be abolished ? ., s0pber9r
It has been determined by the most profound female P^_.?hat s0 f
the best judges, of course, in all questions about beauty * 0bjects>
from beauty being inherent in any object, the very nature or a uglifle^
or that which causes an object to be an object, is downrig' ji^n0^]:
That an hereditary monarchy is preferable, is clear from the ^g j.0 tl^
circumstance that an elective sovereign very seldom succeeds. ^der as
abolition of capital punishments, we really must say that w r ^ ji»
the presumption of anybody who can raise such a Quest*° forbids uS
been so satisfactorily disposed of by—our innate modesty
say whom. _
Civic Inconsistency. , ,, Q[tfa*
The Metropolitan Interments Bill is complained of m,. * c0o!lB/
part of a system of centralisation. This is a strange objec" fobfifif
from those who may be truly said to go the whole hog m ^
by keeping up their Smithfield in the middle of London.