DOI issue:
July to December, 1849
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16604#0239
PUNCH. OH THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
227
Young Lady again in a labyrinth of orders, which she threads with
admirable precision.) Can I have anything, Miss ? Because, if I can't, I
needn't stay.
Pretty Young Lady (inapprehensive of her sarcasm, points to list of
refreshments and prices). Anything you like, Ma'am.
Unprotected Female [disarmed of all offensive weapons and very humbly).
A cup of tea, please—-with one lump of sugar—mixed, please. {Bell out-
side.) Oh ! is that us ?
Pretty Young Lady. Tea, Ma'am. {Gives it her.)
Unprotected Female '-flying towards the door with the tea-cup). Oh—stop
■—I 've not had my tea.
Pretty Young Lady {just raising her voice). Pay, Ma'am ?
Unprotected Female {flying back to tlv. counter). Oh—-don't—they're
going—here ! (Suddenly awakes to the fact that she h<*s Uft her bag in the
carriage) Oh, it's in the carriage ! (Is again flying with (he tea-cup.)
Pretty Young Lady (raising her voice just a little louder). Pay, Ma'am ?
(Signals the Buttons.) That lady!
Buttons (overtaking Unprotected Female—in a shrill voice). Cup
a tea, Ma'am ?
Unprotected Female (surrendering ths tea-cup). Oh, there ! (The engine
shrieks.) Hoy ! here ! hollo ! (Rushes to carriage.)
Buttons. No, the money, Ma'am.
Unprotected Female. In the carriage ! in the carriage ! (Opens a car-
riage already in motion) Oh, no ! it isn't 'hat! (Opens the door of her
own carriage!) Oh, here ! (Attempt's to enter, but is arrested by Somno-
lent Passenger's legs, which have again resolved themselves into a bar-
ricade) Oh—it's here—(fishes over legs of Somnolent Passenger for
her bag)—here ! (Gets at a shilling by a desperate fffort, and gives it to
Buttons.) There's some change! (Her particulars of demand are
d'owned by the whistle and pant of the engine.) And I've not hai a
drop of anything ! And whatever am I sitting on ?—Ugh ! (Shrieks with
horror at finding herself seated on the legs of Somnolent Passenger, as
on a garden seat.) Oil—sir—take'em down ! .Do ! this mimue, or I 'il I Hinging of the street-door bells. Dis'ant knocking at the doors,
WHAT'S THE ROW AT DRURY LANE?
The great feature at the concerts
of that Mont Blanc of Music, the
Mons. Jullien, has been a com-
position called the Row Polka.
At first, in our simplicity, we sup-
posed it to be a Polka on the
favourite air of, " Row, brothers,
row," but on going to hear what
the Row really was at Drury
Lane, we found it to consist of a
variety of airs, ending in a regular
breeze, and a tremendous Row-de-
dow on all the drums in the
orchestra.
The Mons. never composes a
piece of music without going into
the scenes he describes ; and, as
he went through Switzerland in-
stead of perambulating Smithfield
to get hold of the true Ranz des
Vaches for the Swiss Quadrille, it
is most probable that he got him-
self into a regular row before he commenced the composition of the
Row Polka. His description of it in his bill is not quite so graphic as
most of the productions of the Mons., and we therefore give him the
benefit of our own poweis of high colouring, as a hint for future
programmes.
THE ROW QUADRILLES.
call the Guard—here, Guard! Coachman! Hoy!
^Disappears, in a state of wounded feelings and virtuous indignation.
REVIVAL OF THE MENDICANT TRADE.
The sudden setting-in of the cold weather gave a wonderful impetus
to the begging trade, and there was a brisk demand for small children,
who fetched, during the frost, at least fourpence a-head above the
average. The demand was considerable for infants accustomed to the
trade, and warranted to continue crying for an hour at a pinch—it
bf ing an ascertained fact that all those who, at a pinch from the osten-
sible parent, can burst out into a go >d continuous fit of bellowing, will
supply the source of a roaring trade to the borrower. Five-year-olders,
in pairs to resemble twins, always fetch a high price in wet or frosty
weather; and opium, which, during the summer, is literally a drug in
the mendicant's market, has lately been much sought after. Thrre has
been also a fearful inundation of the gardening trade, on the part of
those who rush into it at this season, for the purpose of being imme-
diately frozen out again. Clean white aprons and widows' weeds were
done at improved ra^es, and the public will bs done at the usual rate,
unless care is taken of its interests.
THE LA.ST FROM PARIS.
and wrenching off of the knockers. Far off is heard the low lowing of t he
young calves, whose well-known cry of Lul-li e-te has such an effect, on
the imaginations of the police, that they come down in shoals, fas-
cinated by the sound, and follow the plaintive voices in all directions.
The distant tramp of the Inspector is heard beating time upon the
beat; the watch-tires of the baked potato cans are lighted up, and the
cry of " all hot " is heard alternately diminuendo and crescendo, until it
is lost in the distance. Suddenly the cans are overturned, Policeman
A. is brought to the ground with a roulade on A flat, and the
Quadrille terminates with a general row, introducing several staves
of music, in every one of which the policemen's staves are dominant.
There are already imitations of the " Row Polka " in every direction,
and as the plagiarists will require some cheap mode of carrying out
their piratical design, we recommend them the shovel, poker, tongs and
saucepan, as easy substitutes ;or the trombones, triangles, bassoons,
and ophicleides of the Mons. Jullien's Orchestra.
The next new French Ministry, which is just upon the eve, if not the
afternoon, of formation, will be composed as follows: —
Ministre des Finances...... Lotus-Napoleon !
Ministre de l'lnterieur...... Louis-Napoleon !!
Ministre de la Guerre...... Louis-Napoleon !!!
Ministre des Travaux Publiques .... Louis-Napoleon !!!!
Ministre de 1'Instruction Publique . . . Louis-Napoleon!!!!!
Ministre de l'Exterieur...... Louis-Napoleon !!!!!!
Ministre de toutes les choses, et plusieurs autres Louis-Napoleon !!!!!!!
Every one of the above distinguished celebrities have agreed to
accept the portefeuilles when offered to them, and it is expected that the
Ministry (which has already been nicknamed " Le Ministere de Tons tes
Talents ") will last longer than any other, as there will be an unity and
compactness about it which will be the safest guarantees of its indivisi-
bility. We need not mention that, in the present state of things, the
President du Conseil remains in the hands of Louis Napoleon.
Whisperings in the Insolvent Court.
Roe. Have you read Phillips's statement against the Fxaminer ?
Doe. Umph—Yes. Have you read the Examiner against Phillips ?
Roe. Tes. Confidentially, what do you ttiink ? Hasn't Phillips
taken the stains out of his gown?
Doe. Why, as for stains, and quite confidentially,—I think Phillips
has shown that a barrister may be his own " black reviver."
hatnau's fashions for ladies.
A prevalent—though by no means popular—fashion among the
Magyar ladies, has of late been introduced by General Haynau, with
the authority of the Emperor of Austria. The pattern is very
simple, consisting of plain stripes.
227
Young Lady again in a labyrinth of orders, which she threads with
admirable precision.) Can I have anything, Miss ? Because, if I can't, I
needn't stay.
Pretty Young Lady (inapprehensive of her sarcasm, points to list of
refreshments and prices). Anything you like, Ma'am.
Unprotected Female [disarmed of all offensive weapons and very humbly).
A cup of tea, please—-with one lump of sugar—mixed, please. {Bell out-
side.) Oh ! is that us ?
Pretty Young Lady. Tea, Ma'am. {Gives it her.)
Unprotected Female '-flying towards the door with the tea-cup). Oh—stop
■—I 've not had my tea.
Pretty Young Lady {just raising her voice). Pay, Ma'am ?
Unprotected Female {flying back to tlv. counter). Oh—-don't—they're
going—here ! (Suddenly awakes to the fact that she h<*s Uft her bag in the
carriage) Oh, it's in the carriage ! (Is again flying with (he tea-cup.)
Pretty Young Lady (raising her voice just a little louder). Pay, Ma'am ?
(Signals the Buttons.) That lady!
Buttons (overtaking Unprotected Female—in a shrill voice). Cup
a tea, Ma'am ?
Unprotected Female (surrendering ths tea-cup). Oh, there ! (The engine
shrieks.) Hoy ! here ! hollo ! (Rushes to carriage.)
Buttons. No, the money, Ma'am.
Unprotected Female. In the carriage ! in the carriage ! (Opens a car-
riage already in motion) Oh, no ! it isn't 'hat! (Opens the door of her
own carriage!) Oh, here ! (Attempt's to enter, but is arrested by Somno-
lent Passenger's legs, which have again resolved themselves into a bar-
ricade) Oh—it's here—(fishes over legs of Somnolent Passenger for
her bag)—here ! (Gets at a shilling by a desperate fffort, and gives it to
Buttons.) There's some change! (Her particulars of demand are
d'owned by the whistle and pant of the engine.) And I've not hai a
drop of anything ! And whatever am I sitting on ?—Ugh ! (Shrieks with
horror at finding herself seated on the legs of Somnolent Passenger, as
on a garden seat.) Oil—sir—take'em down ! .Do ! this mimue, or I 'il I Hinging of the street-door bells. Dis'ant knocking at the doors,
WHAT'S THE ROW AT DRURY LANE?
The great feature at the concerts
of that Mont Blanc of Music, the
Mons. Jullien, has been a com-
position called the Row Polka.
At first, in our simplicity, we sup-
posed it to be a Polka on the
favourite air of, " Row, brothers,
row," but on going to hear what
the Row really was at Drury
Lane, we found it to consist of a
variety of airs, ending in a regular
breeze, and a tremendous Row-de-
dow on all the drums in the
orchestra.
The Mons. never composes a
piece of music without going into
the scenes he describes ; and, as
he went through Switzerland in-
stead of perambulating Smithfield
to get hold of the true Ranz des
Vaches for the Swiss Quadrille, it
is most probable that he got him-
self into a regular row before he commenced the composition of the
Row Polka. His description of it in his bill is not quite so graphic as
most of the productions of the Mons., and we therefore give him the
benefit of our own poweis of high colouring, as a hint for future
programmes.
THE ROW QUADRILLES.
call the Guard—here, Guard! Coachman! Hoy!
^Disappears, in a state of wounded feelings and virtuous indignation.
REVIVAL OF THE MENDICANT TRADE.
The sudden setting-in of the cold weather gave a wonderful impetus
to the begging trade, and there was a brisk demand for small children,
who fetched, during the frost, at least fourpence a-head above the
average. The demand was considerable for infants accustomed to the
trade, and warranted to continue crying for an hour at a pinch—it
bf ing an ascertained fact that all those who, at a pinch from the osten-
sible parent, can burst out into a go >d continuous fit of bellowing, will
supply the source of a roaring trade to the borrower. Five-year-olders,
in pairs to resemble twins, always fetch a high price in wet or frosty
weather; and opium, which, during the summer, is literally a drug in
the mendicant's market, has lately been much sought after. Thrre has
been also a fearful inundation of the gardening trade, on the part of
those who rush into it at this season, for the purpose of being imme-
diately frozen out again. Clean white aprons and widows' weeds were
done at improved ra^es, and the public will bs done at the usual rate,
unless care is taken of its interests.
THE LA.ST FROM PARIS.
and wrenching off of the knockers. Far off is heard the low lowing of t he
young calves, whose well-known cry of Lul-li e-te has such an effect, on
the imaginations of the police, that they come down in shoals, fas-
cinated by the sound, and follow the plaintive voices in all directions.
The distant tramp of the Inspector is heard beating time upon the
beat; the watch-tires of the baked potato cans are lighted up, and the
cry of " all hot " is heard alternately diminuendo and crescendo, until it
is lost in the distance. Suddenly the cans are overturned, Policeman
A. is brought to the ground with a roulade on A flat, and the
Quadrille terminates with a general row, introducing several staves
of music, in every one of which the policemen's staves are dominant.
There are already imitations of the " Row Polka " in every direction,
and as the plagiarists will require some cheap mode of carrying out
their piratical design, we recommend them the shovel, poker, tongs and
saucepan, as easy substitutes ;or the trombones, triangles, bassoons,
and ophicleides of the Mons. Jullien's Orchestra.
The next new French Ministry, which is just upon the eve, if not the
afternoon, of formation, will be composed as follows: —
Ministre des Finances...... Lotus-Napoleon !
Ministre de l'lnterieur...... Louis-Napoleon !!
Ministre de la Guerre...... Louis-Napoleon !!!
Ministre des Travaux Publiques .... Louis-Napoleon !!!!
Ministre de 1'Instruction Publique . . . Louis-Napoleon!!!!!
Ministre de l'Exterieur...... Louis-Napoleon !!!!!!
Ministre de toutes les choses, et plusieurs autres Louis-Napoleon !!!!!!!
Every one of the above distinguished celebrities have agreed to
accept the portefeuilles when offered to them, and it is expected that the
Ministry (which has already been nicknamed " Le Ministere de Tons tes
Talents ") will last longer than any other, as there will be an unity and
compactness about it which will be the safest guarantees of its indivisi-
bility. We need not mention that, in the present state of things, the
President du Conseil remains in the hands of Louis Napoleon.
Whisperings in the Insolvent Court.
Roe. Have you read Phillips's statement against the Fxaminer ?
Doe. Umph—Yes. Have you read the Examiner against Phillips ?
Roe. Tes. Confidentially, what do you ttiink ? Hasn't Phillips
taken the stains out of his gown?
Doe. Why, as for stains, and quite confidentially,—I think Phillips
has shown that a barrister may be his own " black reviver."
hatnau's fashions for ladies.
A prevalent—though by no means popular—fashion among the
Magyar ladies, has of late been introduced by General Haynau, with
the authority of the Emperor of Austria. The pattern is very
simple, consisting of plain stripes.