DOI issue:
January to June, 1850
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16605#0011
PTjNCH. OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
3
OUR LITTLE BIRD.
proposal eor a monument to the late queen dowager.
There have been made several prepositions for a monument of some
kind to tell to future generations the abounding goodness of the late
Queen Dowager. One writer proposes that the sum of a hundred
thousand pounds be raised in subscriptions of no larger amount than
half-a-crown, so that eight hundred thousand persons may have a small
share, a stone or brick in the church, to be called Adelaide Church—
an edifice that shall make memorable the piety of the departed lady.
Another kindly projector suggests the erection of a Cross only—a
simple Cross. At which suggestion, we take it, Exeter Hall shakes its
stony head, and glowers with becoming scorn.
Another thinks a certain number of Alms-houses, in which poor
gentlewomen may meekly wait to die, would in a manner, significant
as useful, illustrate the active virtues of the noble gentlewoman
who has made so gracious an end, rebuking nothing save the vanities
of the undertaker, that might follow her ; and which, indeed, were not
to be altogether rebuffed even by the last words of an anointed Queen.
Pomp would somewhat assert itself.
We meddle not with any of these projects. If the money be forth-
coming, if the half-crowns leap to the willing hand, let them be paid in,
and let the masons set forthwith to work, the trowels tinkling har-
moniously. All we ask is, the enjoyment of our right to propose the
notion of a Queen Adelaide Monument, such memorial to be solely
undertaken and wholly carried out at the expense of government.
But then, it may be urged, the expense of government is only a
phrase of course—so many shifting words, the true meaning of which is,
the expense of His Majesty, the People. In this case, however, we
do not propose to lay even an extra pennyweight upon the aforesaid
people. No ; the Adelaide Monument shall stand fair and beautiful in
the light, and not cost the people an additional farthing. For the
Monument shall not be of ephemeral Purbeck stone or decaying
granite—but of enduring stuff: of nothing less than Paper—of paper
white and spotless, and typical of the purity of the memory it eternises.
Our plan is wondrously simple—and then so very facile of execution.
One hundred thousand pounds a year is saved to the revenue by the
loss of the good Queen Adelaide. We simply propose _ that, saving
this much, we repeal the excise upon paper. For consider, what a
serious thing—what a grand thing, is paper ! How lofty;—how sub-
lime, may be its functions ! A sheet of paper is as the physical wing to
the spiritual thought, carrying its presence round about the world.
Upon such wings do the philosophers and poets, the jurists and the
journalists, fly. Upon such wings do all mute words enter into the
in the shape of taxes, and some of whom especially, feed upon letter-
paper—for the family tree of a Grafton is in truth only a bulrush •
Pose Office papyrus *—if these, the teeth of the State, would forego
somewhat of their provender, paper would instantly, like Noah's dove,
fly free—nor fly without the olive. But this is not to be hoped," says
our statistical friend ; " and so we must seek a Monument, to Queen
Adelaide in other materials. Paper is forbidden us. But what think
you of an Advertisement Monument ? The amount of duty on
advertisements in 1849—the price paid to the State for permission to
ask custom, or to ask employ in print, was only one hundred and
fifty-two thousand, nine hundred and twenty-sir pounds. The late
Queen Dowager, in her lapsed pension, at once contributes one
hundred thousand of the sum—whilst the odd fifty-two, why, it is not
to be spoken of—the Life Guards would contribute it in abandoned
gold-lace, or the Maids of Honour offer it in pocket-money. What say
you ? An Advertisement Monument to the Queen Dowager?"
_ A most felicitous thought. Far better than the half-crown subscrip-
tion is the eighteenpence saved to the poor who, seeking labour
through the newspapers, must pay the additional one-and-sixpence to
the Exchequer, or hold their peace. Abolish the advertisement duty;
make such abolition monumental to the memory of the Queen
Dowager, and consider for a moment the number and the condition
of the peopie who are made to feel the relief granted by Queen
Adelaide even in her grave. The " Young Lady who wants a situa-
tion as Governess," feels the royal bounty in her own narrow pocket.
The "Wet-nurse, a respectable married woman," is eighteenpence the
richer; and " A Good Plain Cook, with no objection to the country,"
saves her one-and-sixpence to help her on her way by rail or coach, the
situaiion carried. From the schoolroom, down—down to the scullery
—the eighteenpenny benevolence would be felt, and the memory of
Queen Adelaide be gratefully enshrined.
An Eighteenpenny Monument to the Queen Dowager, by all means.
A Little Bird.
* From the profits of Rowland Hill's pennies, the Duke of Graftoic, having
Cbables the Second's costly blood in his veins—the royal purple is very dear, how-
ever adulterated—takes by royal grant, £10,59S a year.
ROMAN WALLS HAVE EARS.
r. Punch's old friends, the
Archgeologians, have lately
discovered something which
they call a Boman Wall, and
soulTaM hearts of men.0" What" is the paper* oTa letter "buTth^wkgs I 11111% X\% T determined the wall
that bear a voice? jBkV ^ri^t shall have ears, for they give
Well, knowing this, it is a little irksome to human patience to know ; ^^^k^r^P^X ^ -au!n?ce'-p ■ f
the many tyrannical and foolish practices wrought upon paper pinions f l^SSH^ f \ ascertained the Romanism of
by the fantastic exciseman. How they are cut and plucked, and laden ® WS^^^ f \ the ™\We te?' l°l u
by a hundred stupid and despotic caprices. The Egyptians, who had a /rVW I \ consisted only of a few old
deep meaning in all their symbols-so deep, it often baffles us in its Cb#,^^Si| \ bricks and there was no othei
darkness-shipped Isis, when she searched for the remains of Osiris \ *l|°^Pu°' if
in a bark of papyrus—a paper boat; for even the crocodiles respected "% ^ , ~K ? n 8-t+
the papyrus, never so much as snapping at it. There can be no doubt «S \ *^ forward and the Committee
that in this the Egyptians intended to manifest the solemn function ^ % sat on the wail tor nearly an
of paper as a vessel sacred to the Intellect-a vessel that even the '^J^^ houI- ^nother Member then
instinct of savage ignorance should respect. Such was the paper boat produced some fragments or
of Isis. How different the fate of the paper boats of Britannia-the c,oarse Pottery. constin o
millions of craft made on the banks of her thousand rivulets and , . , , S.J1^ °\an, om Te\ TjtJS
streams ! Why, in every paper mill-dam lurk twenty alligators, who, outnce °f b™kf Pla e> and the sP°ut <f wh";h f^Sw drf^
at any hour, may turn up in the shape of excisemen! And how they ^to a handle for a long argument. Another■Member then threw down
overhaul the boats, what pranks they are duly licensed to play witi ^Pon the tab e a small collection of old nai s : JJ «te™Jtg
:f +„l ' ___,„u i,~ +~ - to tack something on to these nails, or to hit the right one on tne head,
A nH vlt S W^nTpiPt,?v. Zt f If."fiction of TM.™* 1. the meting broke up in a state of wisdom about equal to that in which
And yet the S ate professes to venerate the function of paper. In fa b d afsembletL Another Member had been ^roceeding to lecture
our love of its sublime utility we make schools for laggedness and > ^ j } h} h } u d „ »Pbut the casque was
fef °pSrei ?PreCk ihe/°Ul °Vgn?rLa-,?' fL\fZt\h™h so thoroughly dry, that it served as a wet to nobody's curiosity.
And we do all we can to overload, even to sinking, tne paper vessel ° J •" J
with the weight of taxes flung aboard. Wonderful is it to ihink how,
with such a crew of excisemen, paper swims !
However, to proceed with our plan for a Paper Monument to the
Memory of Queen Adelaide. The repeal of the excise on the fabric
would be a beautiful memorial, and lasting as touching. Her late
Majesty, from her shelf in St. George's Vault, subscribes towards the
repeal a hundred thousand a year.
"Very true," answers a statistical familiar; "but then the Paper
duty—the tax laid upon the wings of knowledge—was for 1848, not
one hundred, but seven hundred and fifty-one thousand pounds. Thus,
it is clear that the dropped pension of Queen Adelaide, would not
give even a seventh of the tax. To be sure, the whole matter might
be disposed of in a trice if certain of the living would subscribe to the
Monument. If, for instance, a king would send from Hanover a
subscription of £21,000 a-year—if a king in Belgium would do some-
thing—if sinecurists, the white ants of the State, who devour anything
ROMAN REMAINS
Punch's Abridged Report of Philpotts v. Gorham.
The Pope, his compassion for sinners to prove,
Sends Bulls, without mercy, to bore 'em;
Our Philpotts, to show his more fatherly love,
Refuses permission to gore 'em.
3
OUR LITTLE BIRD.
proposal eor a monument to the late queen dowager.
There have been made several prepositions for a monument of some
kind to tell to future generations the abounding goodness of the late
Queen Dowager. One writer proposes that the sum of a hundred
thousand pounds be raised in subscriptions of no larger amount than
half-a-crown, so that eight hundred thousand persons may have a small
share, a stone or brick in the church, to be called Adelaide Church—
an edifice that shall make memorable the piety of the departed lady.
Another kindly projector suggests the erection of a Cross only—a
simple Cross. At which suggestion, we take it, Exeter Hall shakes its
stony head, and glowers with becoming scorn.
Another thinks a certain number of Alms-houses, in which poor
gentlewomen may meekly wait to die, would in a manner, significant
as useful, illustrate the active virtues of the noble gentlewoman
who has made so gracious an end, rebuking nothing save the vanities
of the undertaker, that might follow her ; and which, indeed, were not
to be altogether rebuffed even by the last words of an anointed Queen.
Pomp would somewhat assert itself.
We meddle not with any of these projects. If the money be forth-
coming, if the half-crowns leap to the willing hand, let them be paid in,
and let the masons set forthwith to work, the trowels tinkling har-
moniously. All we ask is, the enjoyment of our right to propose the
notion of a Queen Adelaide Monument, such memorial to be solely
undertaken and wholly carried out at the expense of government.
But then, it may be urged, the expense of government is only a
phrase of course—so many shifting words, the true meaning of which is,
the expense of His Majesty, the People. In this case, however, we
do not propose to lay even an extra pennyweight upon the aforesaid
people. No ; the Adelaide Monument shall stand fair and beautiful in
the light, and not cost the people an additional farthing. For the
Monument shall not be of ephemeral Purbeck stone or decaying
granite—but of enduring stuff: of nothing less than Paper—of paper
white and spotless, and typical of the purity of the memory it eternises.
Our plan is wondrously simple—and then so very facile of execution.
One hundred thousand pounds a year is saved to the revenue by the
loss of the good Queen Adelaide. We simply propose _ that, saving
this much, we repeal the excise upon paper. For consider, what a
serious thing—what a grand thing, is paper ! How lofty;—how sub-
lime, may be its functions ! A sheet of paper is as the physical wing to
the spiritual thought, carrying its presence round about the world.
Upon such wings do the philosophers and poets, the jurists and the
journalists, fly. Upon such wings do all mute words enter into the
in the shape of taxes, and some of whom especially, feed upon letter-
paper—for the family tree of a Grafton is in truth only a bulrush •
Pose Office papyrus *—if these, the teeth of the State, would forego
somewhat of their provender, paper would instantly, like Noah's dove,
fly free—nor fly without the olive. But this is not to be hoped," says
our statistical friend ; " and so we must seek a Monument, to Queen
Adelaide in other materials. Paper is forbidden us. But what think
you of an Advertisement Monument ? The amount of duty on
advertisements in 1849—the price paid to the State for permission to
ask custom, or to ask employ in print, was only one hundred and
fifty-two thousand, nine hundred and twenty-sir pounds. The late
Queen Dowager, in her lapsed pension, at once contributes one
hundred thousand of the sum—whilst the odd fifty-two, why, it is not
to be spoken of—the Life Guards would contribute it in abandoned
gold-lace, or the Maids of Honour offer it in pocket-money. What say
you ? An Advertisement Monument to the Queen Dowager?"
_ A most felicitous thought. Far better than the half-crown subscrip-
tion is the eighteenpence saved to the poor who, seeking labour
through the newspapers, must pay the additional one-and-sixpence to
the Exchequer, or hold their peace. Abolish the advertisement duty;
make such abolition monumental to the memory of the Queen
Dowager, and consider for a moment the number and the condition
of the peopie who are made to feel the relief granted by Queen
Adelaide even in her grave. The " Young Lady who wants a situa-
tion as Governess," feels the royal bounty in her own narrow pocket.
The "Wet-nurse, a respectable married woman," is eighteenpence the
richer; and " A Good Plain Cook, with no objection to the country,"
saves her one-and-sixpence to help her on her way by rail or coach, the
situaiion carried. From the schoolroom, down—down to the scullery
—the eighteenpenny benevolence would be felt, and the memory of
Queen Adelaide be gratefully enshrined.
An Eighteenpenny Monument to the Queen Dowager, by all means.
A Little Bird.
* From the profits of Rowland Hill's pennies, the Duke of Graftoic, having
Cbables the Second's costly blood in his veins—the royal purple is very dear, how-
ever adulterated—takes by royal grant, £10,59S a year.
ROMAN WALLS HAVE EARS.
r. Punch's old friends, the
Archgeologians, have lately
discovered something which
they call a Boman Wall, and
soulTaM hearts of men.0" What" is the paper* oTa letter "buTth^wkgs I 11111% X\% T determined the wall
that bear a voice? jBkV ^ri^t shall have ears, for they give
Well, knowing this, it is a little irksome to human patience to know ; ^^^k^r^P^X ^ -au!n?ce'-p ■ f
the many tyrannical and foolish practices wrought upon paper pinions f l^SSH^ f \ ascertained the Romanism of
by the fantastic exciseman. How they are cut and plucked, and laden ® WS^^^ f \ the ™\We te?' l°l u
by a hundred stupid and despotic caprices. The Egyptians, who had a /rVW I \ consisted only of a few old
deep meaning in all their symbols-so deep, it often baffles us in its Cb#,^^Si| \ bricks and there was no othei
darkness-shipped Isis, when she searched for the remains of Osiris \ *l|°^Pu°' if
in a bark of papyrus—a paper boat; for even the crocodiles respected "% ^ , ~K ? n 8-t+
the papyrus, never so much as snapping at it. There can be no doubt «S \ *^ forward and the Committee
that in this the Egyptians intended to manifest the solemn function ^ % sat on the wail tor nearly an
of paper as a vessel sacred to the Intellect-a vessel that even the '^J^^ houI- ^nother Member then
instinct of savage ignorance should respect. Such was the paper boat produced some fragments or
of Isis. How different the fate of the paper boats of Britannia-the c,oarse Pottery. constin o
millions of craft made on the banks of her thousand rivulets and , . , , S.J1^ °\an, om Te\ TjtJS
streams ! Why, in every paper mill-dam lurk twenty alligators, who, outnce °f b™kf Pla e> and the sP°ut <f wh";h f^Sw drf^
at any hour, may turn up in the shape of excisemen! And how they ^to a handle for a long argument. Another■Member then threw down
overhaul the boats, what pranks they are duly licensed to play witi ^Pon the tab e a small collection of old nai s : JJ «te™Jtg
:f +„l ' ___,„u i,~ +~ - to tack something on to these nails, or to hit the right one on tne head,
A nH vlt S W^nTpiPt,?v. Zt f If."fiction of TM.™* 1. the meting broke up in a state of wisdom about equal to that in which
And yet the S ate professes to venerate the function of paper. In fa b d afsembletL Another Member had been ^roceeding to lecture
our love of its sublime utility we make schools for laggedness and > ^ j } h} h } u d „ »Pbut the casque was
fef °pSrei ?PreCk ihe/°Ul °Vgn?rLa-,?' fL\fZt\h™h so thoroughly dry, that it served as a wet to nobody's curiosity.
And we do all we can to overload, even to sinking, tne paper vessel ° J •" J
with the weight of taxes flung aboard. Wonderful is it to ihink how,
with such a crew of excisemen, paper swims !
However, to proceed with our plan for a Paper Monument to the
Memory of Queen Adelaide. The repeal of the excise on the fabric
would be a beautiful memorial, and lasting as touching. Her late
Majesty, from her shelf in St. George's Vault, subscribes towards the
repeal a hundred thousand a year.
"Very true," answers a statistical familiar; "but then the Paper
duty—the tax laid upon the wings of knowledge—was for 1848, not
one hundred, but seven hundred and fifty-one thousand pounds. Thus,
it is clear that the dropped pension of Queen Adelaide, would not
give even a seventh of the tax. To be sure, the whole matter might
be disposed of in a trice if certain of the living would subscribe to the
Monument. If, for instance, a king would send from Hanover a
subscription of £21,000 a-year—if a king in Belgium would do some-
thing—if sinecurists, the white ants of the State, who devour anything
ROMAN REMAINS
Punch's Abridged Report of Philpotts v. Gorham.
The Pope, his compassion for sinners to prove,
Sends Bulls, without mercy, to bore 'em;
Our Philpotts, to show his more fatherly love,
Refuses permission to gore 'em.