DOI issue:
January to June, 1850
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16605#0138
130
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
AN EXPEDITION THROUGH THE DEBATES, IH SEARCH
OE CHISHOLM ANSTEY.
An expedition has been formed, of some six hardy individuals, to venture
in search of Chisholm Anstey. It is supposed that he is completely
lost, for he has not been heard of for some time past. He disappeared
last session, and has not been seen since.
The intention is to set out on the very day that Parliament opened.
There is an immense tract of barren debates for the expedition to cross,
and it is confidently asserted that it will never be able to get half-way
through it. If any trace is found of him, intimation is instantly to be
sent to the House of Commons.
The expedition has our best wishes for its success, though we cannot
help having our fears as to 1 he result. Is it prudent at this time of
the year, we ask, when the Debates are much colder than usual, to
venture in search of such an object? How will they find a passage through
immense blocks of speeches, that seem as if they must crush the person
who comes near them. The six individuals, we are told, are to relieve one
another, and never more than three persons are to sleep at the same
time. This arrangement is highly commendable; still, if the torpor
should be too much for their hardy natures, and they should all six
give way to the feeling of overpowering lassitude that is known to
attack every one who ventures in those frozen regions, it is horrible to
think of what must inevitably be their sad fates ! We implore this
generous half-dozen of impulsive souls to pause ere they rush into the
expedition they are so madly bent upon.
We shall from time to time publish accounts of the expedition as
they reach us, and we only hope that the whole six may return safe.
We regret to state that not a single office in the City would insure
their lives.
A PICTURE OF ALIMENTIVENESS.
a nice little bit oe fish.
THE MAYORS, AND THEIR COATS OE MAIL.
BRITANNIA'S SWEET TOOTH.
I'm. the Genius of Britannia, and, you know, I rule the waves,
And I form'd a resolution to put down the trade in slaves,
So I've fitted out a squadron, and it costs me very dear,
At the lowest computation full a million pounds a year.
Yet the slave-trade I'm maintaining all the while I 'gainst it fight,
I support it with the left hand whilst I strike it with the right;
Of slave-grown sugar, being cheap, a vast amount I eat,
I have such a tender conscience, but a tooth so very sweet!
Goose's liver is a dainty certain foreigners derive,
So I have heard, from roasting the unhappy goose alive;
My laws with punishment condign would visit any wretch
Who dared the culinary art so cruelly to stretch.
But were I the chief consumer of the fruit of this abuse,
1 should surely be partaker inthe torture of the goose :
Am I not then an accomplice in the wickedness and shame
Of lashing into sugar the tormented negro's frame ?
Previous to the recent display of splendid hospitality by the Lord
Mayor of London, who invited nearly all his brother Mayors to a grand
banquet—-and turned the Mansion House into a regular mares' nest for
that night only—communications were forwarded to the different towns
for the purpose cf inquiring as to the arms of the Corporation, with
which it, was intended to adorn the columns of the hall of festivity.
Some of the provincial Mayors were very much puzzled to say what
their heraldic bearings really were, and as Mr. Burke was not at hand
to be consulted in every case, some desperate guessea were made by
several of the heads of the provincial Corporations. We give a few
specimens furnished by our reporter, who spoke in so low a tone that
we could scarcely catch it, though he deserves to catch it if he has been
guilty of misleading us.
Bath.—A Bun rampant, in a Bath Brick-field. Bath-chaps as I But I can't resign cheap sugar ; so I'11 keep up my blockade,
supporters. _ Ifor appearance sake—by way of demonstration and parade ;
Brighton.—Six Brighton rocks on a lozenge, and one box of lozenges 1
by itself.
Canterbury.—A Canterbury on a shield gules, quartered with a
Music-stoof argent, and the nioito Piano-forte-ter in re.
Cheltenham.—Salts couchant, with a lozenge en arriere, showing
;hat the lozenge may be taken after the salts if required.
Kidderminster.—A Carpet on a plain ground, a rug and three bars
sinister of polished steel with poker and tongs as supporters, and
appropriate standards.
Margate.—A pair of slippers glissant, held by a bathing-woman
naiante, and two donkey-boys regardant.
Rye.— A Lion dormant, with a Rye face.
Windsor.—Soap in squares, with a Poor Knight of Windsor lather ant,
and a butcher's boy blatant.
Yarmouth.—A herring gules, on three bars sable.
The above are only a few of those which were sent in to the_Mansion
House as emblems for the Corinthian columns of the Egyptian Hall,
and p^Utely declined on the ground of there being no room for them.
There is negro in our puddings, in our pies, our cakes, our buns ;
In our jellies, creams, and custards, there are Adam's sable sons ;
There's negro in each cup of tea the smug precisian sips,
And thinks that he has done no wrong, and wipes his holy lips.
I am certain that the trade in slaves my cruisers scarcely touch,
I repress it very little, and promote it very much:
If I mean that it should cease, I must renounce my toothsome sin
Resolv'd from this time forth to take no slave-grown sugar in.
Though I must confess I'd rather not be forced to spend the sum
Of a million pounds per annum to maintain a costly hum.
Sacrifice Extraordinary.
A newspaper advertisement announces that
" A professional gentleman is instructed io sacrifice Theee young sound Horses
at half their cost."
We wonder what deity horses could be sacrificed to ? Hymen,
perhaps : for when a gentleman marries he is sometimes forced to give
up his stud.
Object of Mr. Stuart Wortley's Marriage Bill.—To spike
an ecclesiastical canon.
the stethoscope at the national chest.
We understand that there is at present an accumulated gold deposit
t.t the Bank, which is likely to increase. Nothing has been heard for
some time of John Bull's tightness of the chest; but we expect that
he will soon begin to complain of weight and congestion in that region;
where there seems to be always something more or less the matter with
the poor invalid.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
AN EXPEDITION THROUGH THE DEBATES, IH SEARCH
OE CHISHOLM ANSTEY.
An expedition has been formed, of some six hardy individuals, to venture
in search of Chisholm Anstey. It is supposed that he is completely
lost, for he has not been heard of for some time past. He disappeared
last session, and has not been seen since.
The intention is to set out on the very day that Parliament opened.
There is an immense tract of barren debates for the expedition to cross,
and it is confidently asserted that it will never be able to get half-way
through it. If any trace is found of him, intimation is instantly to be
sent to the House of Commons.
The expedition has our best wishes for its success, though we cannot
help having our fears as to 1 he result. Is it prudent at this time of
the year, we ask, when the Debates are much colder than usual, to
venture in search of such an object? How will they find a passage through
immense blocks of speeches, that seem as if they must crush the person
who comes near them. The six individuals, we are told, are to relieve one
another, and never more than three persons are to sleep at the same
time. This arrangement is highly commendable; still, if the torpor
should be too much for their hardy natures, and they should all six
give way to the feeling of overpowering lassitude that is known to
attack every one who ventures in those frozen regions, it is horrible to
think of what must inevitably be their sad fates ! We implore this
generous half-dozen of impulsive souls to pause ere they rush into the
expedition they are so madly bent upon.
We shall from time to time publish accounts of the expedition as
they reach us, and we only hope that the whole six may return safe.
We regret to state that not a single office in the City would insure
their lives.
A PICTURE OF ALIMENTIVENESS.
a nice little bit oe fish.
THE MAYORS, AND THEIR COATS OE MAIL.
BRITANNIA'S SWEET TOOTH.
I'm. the Genius of Britannia, and, you know, I rule the waves,
And I form'd a resolution to put down the trade in slaves,
So I've fitted out a squadron, and it costs me very dear,
At the lowest computation full a million pounds a year.
Yet the slave-trade I'm maintaining all the while I 'gainst it fight,
I support it with the left hand whilst I strike it with the right;
Of slave-grown sugar, being cheap, a vast amount I eat,
I have such a tender conscience, but a tooth so very sweet!
Goose's liver is a dainty certain foreigners derive,
So I have heard, from roasting the unhappy goose alive;
My laws with punishment condign would visit any wretch
Who dared the culinary art so cruelly to stretch.
But were I the chief consumer of the fruit of this abuse,
1 should surely be partaker inthe torture of the goose :
Am I not then an accomplice in the wickedness and shame
Of lashing into sugar the tormented negro's frame ?
Previous to the recent display of splendid hospitality by the Lord
Mayor of London, who invited nearly all his brother Mayors to a grand
banquet—-and turned the Mansion House into a regular mares' nest for
that night only—communications were forwarded to the different towns
for the purpose cf inquiring as to the arms of the Corporation, with
which it, was intended to adorn the columns of the hall of festivity.
Some of the provincial Mayors were very much puzzled to say what
their heraldic bearings really were, and as Mr. Burke was not at hand
to be consulted in every case, some desperate guessea were made by
several of the heads of the provincial Corporations. We give a few
specimens furnished by our reporter, who spoke in so low a tone that
we could scarcely catch it, though he deserves to catch it if he has been
guilty of misleading us.
Bath.—A Bun rampant, in a Bath Brick-field. Bath-chaps as I But I can't resign cheap sugar ; so I'11 keep up my blockade,
supporters. _ Ifor appearance sake—by way of demonstration and parade ;
Brighton.—Six Brighton rocks on a lozenge, and one box of lozenges 1
by itself.
Canterbury.—A Canterbury on a shield gules, quartered with a
Music-stoof argent, and the nioito Piano-forte-ter in re.
Cheltenham.—Salts couchant, with a lozenge en arriere, showing
;hat the lozenge may be taken after the salts if required.
Kidderminster.—A Carpet on a plain ground, a rug and three bars
sinister of polished steel with poker and tongs as supporters, and
appropriate standards.
Margate.—A pair of slippers glissant, held by a bathing-woman
naiante, and two donkey-boys regardant.
Rye.— A Lion dormant, with a Rye face.
Windsor.—Soap in squares, with a Poor Knight of Windsor lather ant,
and a butcher's boy blatant.
Yarmouth.—A herring gules, on three bars sable.
The above are only a few of those which were sent in to the_Mansion
House as emblems for the Corinthian columns of the Egyptian Hall,
and p^Utely declined on the ground of there being no room for them.
There is negro in our puddings, in our pies, our cakes, our buns ;
In our jellies, creams, and custards, there are Adam's sable sons ;
There's negro in each cup of tea the smug precisian sips,
And thinks that he has done no wrong, and wipes his holy lips.
I am certain that the trade in slaves my cruisers scarcely touch,
I repress it very little, and promote it very much:
If I mean that it should cease, I must renounce my toothsome sin
Resolv'd from this time forth to take no slave-grown sugar in.
Though I must confess I'd rather not be forced to spend the sum
Of a million pounds per annum to maintain a costly hum.
Sacrifice Extraordinary.
A newspaper advertisement announces that
" A professional gentleman is instructed io sacrifice Theee young sound Horses
at half their cost."
We wonder what deity horses could be sacrificed to ? Hymen,
perhaps : for when a gentleman marries he is sometimes forced to give
up his stud.
Object of Mr. Stuart Wortley's Marriage Bill.—To spike
an ecclesiastical canon.
the stethoscope at the national chest.
We understand that there is at present an accumulated gold deposit
t.t the Bank, which is likely to increase. Nothing has been heard for
some time of John Bull's tightness of the chest; but we expect that
he will soon begin to complain of weight and congestion in that region;
where there seems to be always something more or less the matter with
the poor invalid.