PUNCH. OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

189

of it. Look ! a Death's-Head Larva jumps out of the coffin, snaps up
the undertaker and kicks away the followers into space. See yonder,
what a twisting reptilery of catgut-spinners ! Observe, above, the
knot of knackers tormenting that unfortunate beadle. Below, mark
the fry of slaughter-men, who are now, however, making their
onslaughts on each other. On a sudden the universal fray becomes a
rout. Monsters, rising as from a gulf of darkness, scatter the affrighted
combatants right and left. Gorgon-lobsters, hydra-prawns, dire chimeras
of turtle, surely the unutterable mud-Pythons of Mi. Thomas Carlyle !
One of them has seized a churchwarden: another, an alderman—and by
his gouty leg. Horrible ! Darken the lens. Enough for one exhibition.

What a'e those infinitesimal semblances of humanity which have
thus been detected in London water ? They are only found in the
well-water of cities, whose inhabitants bury the dead among the living.
There is a theory that all organisations are multiples of themselves m
miniature. _ Well-water, percolating the earth of churchyards, must
needs contain alderman, deputy, and similar bodies in solution. Examined
by the Molecular Magnifier, it certainly confirms this theory.

A more important question is, by what are these beings animated?
It is all very well to laugh at " Metempsychosis," but who would wil
fully be laid in an intramural tomb, having once beheld the Purgatory
comprised in a drop of London water ?

LINES ON A LATE HOSPICIOUS
EWENT.

by a gentleman of the foot-guards (blue).

I paced upon my beat

With steady step and slow,
All huppandownd of Ranelagh Street;

Ran'iagh St. Pimlico.

While marching huppandownd

Upon that fair May morn,
Beold the booming cannings sound,

A royal child is born!

The Ministers of State

Then presnly I sor,
They gallops to the Pallis gate,

In carridges and for.

With anxious looks intent,

Before the gate they stop,
There comes the good Lord President,

And there the Archbishopp.

Lord John he next elights;

And who comes here in haste ?
Tis the ero of one underd fights,

The caudle for to taste.

Then Mrs. Lily the nuss,
Towards them steps with joy;

Says the brave old Duke, " Come tell to us,
Is it a gaL or a boy? "

Says Mrs. L. to the Duke,
"Your Grace, it is a Prince"

And at that nuss's bold rebuke,
He did both laugh and wince.

He vews with pleasant look

This pooty flower of May,
Then, says the wenerable Duke,

" Egad it's my buthday."

By memory backards borne,
Peraps his thoughts did stray

To that old place where he was born,
Upon the first of May.

Peraps he did recal

The ancient towers of Trim
And County Meath and Dangan Hall

They did rewisit him.

I phansy of him so

His good old thoughts employin';
Fourscore years and one ago

Beside the flowin' Boyne.

His father praps he sees,

Most musicle of Lords,
A playing maddrisles and glees

Upon the Arpsicords.

Jest phansy this old Ero

Upon his motlier's knee !
Did ever lady in this land

Ave greater sons than she ?

And I shoudn bs surprize
While this was in his mind,

If a drop there twinkled in his eyes
Of unfamiliar brind.

To Hapsly Ouse next day
Drives up a Broosh and for,

A gracious prince si:s in that. Shay
(I mention him with Hor !)

They ring upon the bell,

The Porter shows his Ed,
(He fought at Vaterloo as veil,

And vears a Veskit red).

To see that carriage come
The people round it press :

" And is the galliant Duke at omt ? "
" Your Royal Igbness, yes."

He stepps from out the Broosh

And in the gate is gone,
And X, although the people push,

Says wery kind " Move hon."

The Royal Prince unto

The gallant Duke did say,
" Dear Duke, my little son and you

Was born the self same day."

"The Lady of the land,
My wife and Sovring dear,

It is by her horgust command
I wait upon you here.

" That lady is as well

As can expected be ;
And to your Grace she bid me tell

This gracious message free.

" That offspring of our race,

Whom yesterday you see,
To show our honour for your Grace,

Prince Arthur he shall be.

" That name it rhymes to fame;

All Europe knows the sound :
And I couldn't find a better name

If you'd give me twenty pound.

" King Arthur had his knights

That girt his table round,
But you have won a hundred fights,

Will match 'em I '11 be bound.

" You fought with Bonypart,
And likewise Tippoo Saib ;

I name you then with all my heart
The Godsire of this babe."

That Prince his leave was took,

His hinterview was done.
So let us give the good old Duke

Good luck of his god-son.

And wish him years of joy
In this our time of Schism,

And hops he '11 hear the royal boy
His little catechism.

And my pooty little Prince
That's come our arts to cheer,

Let me my loyal powers ewince
A welcomin of you ere.

And the Poit-Laureat's crownd,

I think, in some respex,
Egstremely shootable might be found

Eor honest Pleaseman X.

OFFICIAL RUMOURS.

ur own reporter informs us that
it is rumoured in the highest
circles — the upper-gallery at
Astley's—that if Lord John
Russell goes out, he will cer-
tainly go out on horseback some
afternoon. It was whispered
that Mr. Dunup had been
offered a portfolio, and, on our
own correspondent being sent to
enquire, we found it to be
literally a fact that Mr. Dunup
had actually been offered a port-
folio (complete, with lock and key
and blotting-paper), for nine-
pence, in the Lowther Arcade.
The on-dit last week was, that Briefless had positively taken office,
and we are happy to say that the on-dit has been confirmed, for Brief-
less has at last taken an office—he has been for three years with nothing
but the nominal occupancy of an outer door—up four pair of stairs, in

the Temple. Briefless, it was also said, had kissed hands on the
occasion, and it is a fact that he kissed his hand, in the exuberance of
his spirits at his new tenancy, from the window above, to those
passing below.

Oh, Law!

It has been decided by a majority of 19 in the House of Commons,
that a Bill is to be introduced for taking off the duty from Attorneys'
Certificates. As these instruments may be regarded as authorising the
pursuit of game, we may expect the sportsman to attempt to avail him-
self of its provisions. The Attorneys have often been likened to the
dogs of law—though they by no means deserve the wholesale applica-
tion of the title; and perhaps, in reference to their hunting after game,
the " Old Harry—ers " would be a goo 1 name for them.

Latitude and Longitude.

Father. I insist upon your telling me, Sir. Where have you been to?
Son. I've only been to the Opera.

Father. Opera ! Fiddlestick, Sir ! Why that was two days ago.
Son. Yes, Father; but you forget it was "A Long Thursday !!! !**