Punch: Punch (19.1850)

40

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

" Olb 'Ard Bill! Here's another Hipperpo'tamus."

LORD BROUGHAM'S VISIT TO AMERICA

At the last meeting of the Society for Promoting the Amendment of
the Law, held very appropriately in Chancery Lane, Lord Brougham
announced his intention of proceeding to America.

" Whither he had been invited in order to confer with his
brethren there respecting the amendment op the law."

Directly this intelligence met our eyes, we called for a best sheet of
elephant paper, nibbed our peacock pen—used only upon rare and
eventful occasions—and dipping it in our perfumed ink, recently pre-
sented to us by the Duchess oe who with a whole bottle
of attar of roses had scented the fluid — we immediately indited a
Letter of Introduction to General Taylor, the American President,
and forthwith sent the epistle to dear Lord Brougham. Well, to our
astonishment and somewhat to our annoyance, we find that garbled
copies of the epistle are at this moment circulating throughout society
—indeed, we know not to what amount of floating letter. Hence, we
complain—as, indeed, a distinguished and particularly good-tempered
young nobleman of irreproachable Maimers had, recently, cause to com-
plain of the publicity of his Poems, before published; and—following
that poet's noble example—we are resolved to print the complete Letter
for the satisfaction of ourselves, of Brougham, and of Taylor. To be
sure, we understand that Lord Brougham himself made a point of
reading our missive of introduction to every party he visited • but such
confidence on the part of the noble, learned, and ingenuous Lord, does
in no manner justify its publication by any of its hearers, or eaves-
droppers. However, we will not lose our temper; we will not pelt

Seople as penny-a-liners and so forth; but, in our calm sense of injured
ignity—print the letter.

" To General Taylor, President of the United States, Favoured by
Henry Lord Brougham, Member of the French Institute.

"Dear Taylor,

" I have much pleasure in making yourself and my friend
Brougham—the Brougham, whose fame is not European, but world-
wide, personally acquainted. With all his little drolleries, he is an
excellent fellow; and with all his oddities, he has worked like a Her-
culean stable-boy at our Augean Courts of Law. He has cheapened
costs; he has well-nigh destroyed the race of sharp attomies—(the more
Hebrew, by the way, the more sharp), for the jew is still pastoral, and
flourishes on sheep-skin. Indeed, if you would seek Brougham's
uonument, look around every attorney's office; and you will not see
Brougham's picture. You will see the Draconian Ellenborough—
you mil behold, in ebon frame, the Doubling Eldon,—but you will not
see the Cost-Controlling Brougham ! His picture, like the effigies of
old, is the more lustrous as it is not shown!

" It appears, dear Taylor, that your American lawyers have invited

Brougham to a fraternally legal conference. I am glad of it. Like
invitations have been sent him from the lawyers of the Sandwich
Islands, and from certain distinguished legalists of the nation of
Caribbees. But Brougham, learning that your necessities, as a people,
are greater than either Sandwich Islander or Carib, pays you the first
visit. He comes, with an amendment of that American law that lays
violent hands upon every free black—locking him up in gaol, like a
pest-tainted bale of goods, lest the plague of negro liberty should spread
all over the Union. He comes to prove to you that your Declaration of
Independence, in which you set out that all men are born free, whilst
among you negro man is bought and sold like a beast, is no other than
a Declaration of Impudence; a blasphemy uttered to the Maker of
man, and an affront to the common sense of all mankind (American-
kind, perhaps, not included).

" And now, dear Taylor, that little burst got rid of—for it would
break out, I couldn't button it within my waistcoat—let us have a little
pleasant gossip.

" You will, I know—for Jonathan is aboundingly hospitable, with a
heart as flowing and free as his Mississippi—you will, I know, give ?
magnificent welcome to Brougham. But, pray understand this; it
may save us a future war—we will not lose our Brougham. _ I
know Henry's ardent, impulsive temperament. You will be giving
him a public banquet; and there and then, after a gorgeous description
of the mighty energies of your mighty country—after claiming Saxon
brotherhood with all of you,—he will insist—(and I know the force, the
subtlety of his eloquence too well, not to be aware that it will cause
you a struggle—a very severe struggle to refuse the favour)—he will
msist upon being immediately made an American Citizen. But for the

extraordinary astuteness (B. has been heard to call it " d-d cross

obstinacy") of M. Cremieux, our Brougham would, at this moment,
have been a Erench Citizen! In danger, it may be, of the next
Presidency; and—by the way—should you naturalise liim, I wouldn't
give yourself much chance of a re-election. You will therefore be on
your guard. Our Henry must return to us : his genius is the property
of the Human race—but his citizenship is with England. Take any
jewel out of our Crown; take if you will our Koh-i-noor, our Mountain
of Light, but not our bodily Light of Brougham.

" Of course, you will show your guest Niagara; but I put it to you as
a vital favour, do not let Henry attempt to jump theEalls. Should
he insist upon it—which is not at all unlikely—lay the violence of
friendly hands upon him. and let him be carried from the spot.

"How you will enjoy Brougham after dinner; whilst the American
women in the drawing-room will hang upon him, bright and thick, as
the stars of your spangled banner. There is no man tells a story with
a greater fatness of humour—no man sings a song like him;—by the
way, when he is in full force of spirits, do—now, pray, don't miss this—•
do ask him to sing The Three Little Figs ! You will never forget it:
from that moment, The Three Little Figs will become dear as your
national eagle. Moreover, set some of the women on him—if, which is
not at ah unlikely, he do not volunteer it—to do the conjuring trick of
The Chesnuts in Chancery. It has had wonderful success with us during
the present season; so much so that the Queen and her Prince invited
Brougham to Windsor Castle to play the trick before themselves and
children, although (but you, my dear Taylor, in your free and generous
country, you can have little idea of the malignity of party interest)
although ah notice of the visit and its object, was, it is supposed by the in-
fluence of L—d J—n R—ll, meanly excluded from the Court Circular.

"Brougham will do you much good, and I earnestly hope that the
sea voyage and American air will brace him up for the next half-century.
Such human gold with all its alloy rarely enriches the generations of
men. By the way, I know Henry's philosophic curiosity—his thirst
for knowledge : therefore, do not let him too frequently test your gin-
sling, your mint-julep, your cobblers, and ah that variety of drinks it is
a part of the glory of the American genius to offer to the hps of
Bacchanal nature.

" Brougham has promised me to present this to you in his cosmopolite
travellhig-dress. Isn't it significant, nay, epigrammatic? His coat,
half the union-jack of England—half the tri-color of Erance. His waist-
coat embroidered with the American eagle, and his trousers the American
stripes!

" Cherish, honour, love our Henry, and for your love to him, accept
the increased admiration of yours ever,

" Punch, 85, Eleet Street."

Barry v. Reid.

This action for slander, which came on the other day in the Court of
Common Pleas, has furnished us with a suggestion. Surely the Archi-
tect and the Great Ventilator of the New Houses of Parliament ought
to have some monument in connexion with those walls which they have
reared and aired. Let it be their portraits; and should the question
be asked how the gentlemen are to he drawn, the answer obviously is,
" at daggers drawn."