DOI issue:
July to December, 1850
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16606#0077
69
CRUEL CASE OE JEW-DROPPING.
Guildhall, July 30.
2i2Kfi?CSl^C5xlJ} some hard-hearted and cruelly-disposed person has
dropt between the Statues of Gog and Magog, Guildhall, a Eull-Grown
Male Infant of the Jewish Persuasion, swathed in bank-notes, and in a
basket, bearing a direction worded—"To the Care of tlw Electors of
London, to be kept close until next Session,"—any Reward commensurate
with the Cruelty of the Deed will be given for the Apprehension of the
Offender, who is suspected to be a little, wiry man, frequenting
Downing Street and the House of Commons.
Earncombe, Mayor.
A DONKEY ON BALLOONS.
" Mr. Punch,
"I am a public jackass ; in a word, I am the very donkey
that, from the days of my foalhood, has been put 'up5 for the 'other
twopence.' I know what it is to be elevated above the world; and
therefore beg to be heard—in reply to Mr. Norton, the worthy
magistrate of Lambeth—on his unguarded opinions expressed a few
days ago upon the meditated ascent from Yauxhall of a horse, belly-
banded to a balloon, with Mr. Green upon the horse's back.
" Mr. Norton said, ' a wooden or hobby-horse would serve just as
well.' By no means; for the whole fun of the thing—the whole
interest of the matter—is in the chance whether the horse shall not
come tumbling from the sky (with the balloon-man upon or off his
back) so much dog's-meat.
"Why, Mr. Punch, did the people drop their mouths and open their
eyes with wonder and exultation, when they saw me—(for of late, the
police have forbidden my professional exertions ; and I am now, for the
benefit of my health and the exercise of young ladies, on the donkey-
stand at Gravesend)—when they saw me, I say, tied helpless to a
ladder; and that ladder balanced upon the chin of the man-monster who
thus supported me? Why, the whole pleasure was in. the thought
that I might come down with a smash upon the stones—that I might
break my legs, or my neck; or haply tumbling upon my persecutor,
break his neck into the bargain.
"Without this pleasant stimulus, do you tliink that even an en-
lightened English public would have clubbed the ' other twopence' to
send me'up?' Why, no. But the money was subscribed (too often,
I shudder at the thoughts of it, too quickly subscribed) in the fiendish
hope that I should no sooner be up than down.
"Itis upon the same principle that a humane and thoughtful people
put down their shilling to see a horse carried into the clouds. It is the
danger to the poor brute that is the intellectual sauce to the refined,
the money-givmg Christian!
" Mr. Punch, I have often thought of writing my Recollections under
the title of The Ladder of Life. If next winter I can keep out of the
hands of a sandman, or any other such low dealer, I shall have time
enough, and will certainly attempt it. Then I '11 let the world know
with what pity, with what contempt, an elevated jackass may look
down upon the mob ! Then will I describe the emotions of disgust and
scorn, sublimed by an asinine sense of superiority that possessed me;
whilst from the Ladder, with meekly-seeming face, but with an out-
raged and burning heart, I, the four-legged ass, looked down upon the
biped donkeys beneath me.
" I don't know at the time I write whether Mr. Green will go into
the clouds upon horseback ; but if he does, I know what I'd do, if I
only had the power; I 'd make him for his pains take his next trip into
the'sky not on the back of a horse, but on the back of a porcupine.
" Your obedient servant,
" Twopence More and up went the Donkey.
" P.S. As 1 write this on a Saturday, I have sent it under cover to
Lord Russell, that—he being a Minister—you may get it early
through him on Monday morning. Perhaps you '11 be a little surprised
at the elegance of my literary style. I feel it myself. But the fact is,
all the Midsummer holidays I've every day carried Miss Indigo—
a lady who's drinking our milk here for weak health, and who has at
Uris minute a book of promising poems somewhere in the press."
THE CITY COMMITTEE'S REPORT OF
SMITHFIELD MARKET.
j That Smithfield Market is the healthiest spot not only in England,
but perhaps in the whole world. It is a well-known sanitary fact that
• slaughterhouses are highly conducive to health, and so well convinced
are medical men of their beneficial effect upon invalids, that they
always send their most delicate patients to take lodgings in the neigh-
bourhood of the market, and so rapid is the change that takes place in
their constitution, that they rarely ever see them again.
That Smithfield Market, far from being the noisy spot it is maliciously
described to be, is distinguished for its extreme quiet. There is a
legal, learned stillness in the air, that many students prefer it to the
Temple Gardens,^ or any of the Ems of Court. It has the further
advantage, too, of being as still during the night as during the day—so
much so, that the repose of the above-mentioned invalids is rarely dis-
turbed after the first week.
That the cry of " Mad Bull" is always an occasion of great sport to
the street in which it is raised, more especially to the little boys who
always join in it with the greatest glee and harmlessness.
That the shopkeepers rather like the bulls walking into their shops
than otherwise, and declare that if it were not for the difficulty of
getting them out again, they decidedly should be very fond of it.
That the sensation of tossing is far from disagreeable; and that
the Committee have been told of the instance of an old man who lives
at a public-house in Cow Lane, and is so fond of tossing, that he is
always ready to do it for a pint of beer, or even less.
That very few accidents occur about the market, and when they
do, it is invariably the fault of the parties who are injured by the
accidents, and not of the poor animals who commit them.
That these accidents, however, are rarely fatal, from the simple
reason that those who escape with their lives from the first accident,
rarely put themselves in the way of receiving a second.
That those bigoted persons who persist in asserting, contrary to all
evidence, that Smithfield is a nuisance, evidently know nothing about
it, and if the Market were to be held to-morrow in the Horticultural
Gardens at Chiswick, they would still maintain that the place was not
good enough for them.
That, to conclude, Smithfield Market is; if anything, too good
for the purposes required, and the Committee are unanimously of
opinion that the animals ought to feel themselves proud to be sold in
such a locality; and the residents in the neighbourhood should be
too thankful to the City for having brought such advantages, not only
to their doors, but actually within their shops, and occasionally carrying
them into the very heart of their back-parlours.
THE JEWISH OATH QUESTION A CENTURY HENCE.
(From Posterity's History of England.)
The singular inconsistency which marked the conduct of our ancestors
during a period which has deservedly been styled the Age of Humbug
was strikingly exemplified, just a century ago, in the course of the
struggle of Baron Rothschild to obtain possession of his seat in the
House of Commons. The opponents to the Jewish claim to participate
in the Legislature first resisted the demand of the Baron to be sworn
on the Old Testament. Defeated on this point, they next objected to
his omission, from the prescribed adjuration, of the words " On the true
faith of a Christian." They thus refused to recognise the validity of an
oath unaccompanied by the profession of a creed which, if plain gospel is
its exponent, forbids all oaths whatever • they disallowed a request to be
sworn on the book which alone contained their own justification of
swearing ■ and required as essential to the juratory act that it should be
performed on that very volume which seems expressly to prohibit it.
Conversations of Lord Brougham.
A little Dook with the above taking; title will shortly be published.
It will consist of the conversations held by Lord Brougham in the
House of Lords, either on presenting petitions, or whilst the debates
are going on. It is expected not to exceed 18 volumes, uniform in size
with the " Conversations of Lord Byron." The announcement has
caused an unusual excitement amongst the butter-trade.
riddle for lord ashley.
Q. Why is the condition of a medical man without patients like that
of a Sabbatarian eating a hot dinner on a Sunday ?
A. Because it is Profession without Practice.
"Prints of a East Colour, Warranted to Wash."—Some wa<
at the Yauxhall Masquerade pinned the above label on the back of lb
Nepaulese Prince.
CRUEL CASE OE JEW-DROPPING.
Guildhall, July 30.
2i2Kfi?CSl^C5xlJ} some hard-hearted and cruelly-disposed person has
dropt between the Statues of Gog and Magog, Guildhall, a Eull-Grown
Male Infant of the Jewish Persuasion, swathed in bank-notes, and in a
basket, bearing a direction worded—"To the Care of tlw Electors of
London, to be kept close until next Session,"—any Reward commensurate
with the Cruelty of the Deed will be given for the Apprehension of the
Offender, who is suspected to be a little, wiry man, frequenting
Downing Street and the House of Commons.
Earncombe, Mayor.
A DONKEY ON BALLOONS.
" Mr. Punch,
"I am a public jackass ; in a word, I am the very donkey
that, from the days of my foalhood, has been put 'up5 for the 'other
twopence.' I know what it is to be elevated above the world; and
therefore beg to be heard—in reply to Mr. Norton, the worthy
magistrate of Lambeth—on his unguarded opinions expressed a few
days ago upon the meditated ascent from Yauxhall of a horse, belly-
banded to a balloon, with Mr. Green upon the horse's back.
" Mr. Norton said, ' a wooden or hobby-horse would serve just as
well.' By no means; for the whole fun of the thing—the whole
interest of the matter—is in the chance whether the horse shall not
come tumbling from the sky (with the balloon-man upon or off his
back) so much dog's-meat.
"Why, Mr. Punch, did the people drop their mouths and open their
eyes with wonder and exultation, when they saw me—(for of late, the
police have forbidden my professional exertions ; and I am now, for the
benefit of my health and the exercise of young ladies, on the donkey-
stand at Gravesend)—when they saw me, I say, tied helpless to a
ladder; and that ladder balanced upon the chin of the man-monster who
thus supported me? Why, the whole pleasure was in. the thought
that I might come down with a smash upon the stones—that I might
break my legs, or my neck; or haply tumbling upon my persecutor,
break his neck into the bargain.
"Without this pleasant stimulus, do you tliink that even an en-
lightened English public would have clubbed the ' other twopence' to
send me'up?' Why, no. But the money was subscribed (too often,
I shudder at the thoughts of it, too quickly subscribed) in the fiendish
hope that I should no sooner be up than down.
"Itis upon the same principle that a humane and thoughtful people
put down their shilling to see a horse carried into the clouds. It is the
danger to the poor brute that is the intellectual sauce to the refined,
the money-givmg Christian!
" Mr. Punch, I have often thought of writing my Recollections under
the title of The Ladder of Life. If next winter I can keep out of the
hands of a sandman, or any other such low dealer, I shall have time
enough, and will certainly attempt it. Then I '11 let the world know
with what pity, with what contempt, an elevated jackass may look
down upon the mob ! Then will I describe the emotions of disgust and
scorn, sublimed by an asinine sense of superiority that possessed me;
whilst from the Ladder, with meekly-seeming face, but with an out-
raged and burning heart, I, the four-legged ass, looked down upon the
biped donkeys beneath me.
" I don't know at the time I write whether Mr. Green will go into
the clouds upon horseback ; but if he does, I know what I'd do, if I
only had the power; I 'd make him for his pains take his next trip into
the'sky not on the back of a horse, but on the back of a porcupine.
" Your obedient servant,
" Twopence More and up went the Donkey.
" P.S. As 1 write this on a Saturday, I have sent it under cover to
Lord Russell, that—he being a Minister—you may get it early
through him on Monday morning. Perhaps you '11 be a little surprised
at the elegance of my literary style. I feel it myself. But the fact is,
all the Midsummer holidays I've every day carried Miss Indigo—
a lady who's drinking our milk here for weak health, and who has at
Uris minute a book of promising poems somewhere in the press."
THE CITY COMMITTEE'S REPORT OF
SMITHFIELD MARKET.
j That Smithfield Market is the healthiest spot not only in England,
but perhaps in the whole world. It is a well-known sanitary fact that
• slaughterhouses are highly conducive to health, and so well convinced
are medical men of their beneficial effect upon invalids, that they
always send their most delicate patients to take lodgings in the neigh-
bourhood of the market, and so rapid is the change that takes place in
their constitution, that they rarely ever see them again.
That Smithfield Market, far from being the noisy spot it is maliciously
described to be, is distinguished for its extreme quiet. There is a
legal, learned stillness in the air, that many students prefer it to the
Temple Gardens,^ or any of the Ems of Court. It has the further
advantage, too, of being as still during the night as during the day—so
much so, that the repose of the above-mentioned invalids is rarely dis-
turbed after the first week.
That the cry of " Mad Bull" is always an occasion of great sport to
the street in which it is raised, more especially to the little boys who
always join in it with the greatest glee and harmlessness.
That the shopkeepers rather like the bulls walking into their shops
than otherwise, and declare that if it were not for the difficulty of
getting them out again, they decidedly should be very fond of it.
That the sensation of tossing is far from disagreeable; and that
the Committee have been told of the instance of an old man who lives
at a public-house in Cow Lane, and is so fond of tossing, that he is
always ready to do it for a pint of beer, or even less.
That very few accidents occur about the market, and when they
do, it is invariably the fault of the parties who are injured by the
accidents, and not of the poor animals who commit them.
That these accidents, however, are rarely fatal, from the simple
reason that those who escape with their lives from the first accident,
rarely put themselves in the way of receiving a second.
That those bigoted persons who persist in asserting, contrary to all
evidence, that Smithfield is a nuisance, evidently know nothing about
it, and if the Market were to be held to-morrow in the Horticultural
Gardens at Chiswick, they would still maintain that the place was not
good enough for them.
That, to conclude, Smithfield Market is; if anything, too good
for the purposes required, and the Committee are unanimously of
opinion that the animals ought to feel themselves proud to be sold in
such a locality; and the residents in the neighbourhood should be
too thankful to the City for having brought such advantages, not only
to their doors, but actually within their shops, and occasionally carrying
them into the very heart of their back-parlours.
THE JEWISH OATH QUESTION A CENTURY HENCE.
(From Posterity's History of England.)
The singular inconsistency which marked the conduct of our ancestors
during a period which has deservedly been styled the Age of Humbug
was strikingly exemplified, just a century ago, in the course of the
struggle of Baron Rothschild to obtain possession of his seat in the
House of Commons. The opponents to the Jewish claim to participate
in the Legislature first resisted the demand of the Baron to be sworn
on the Old Testament. Defeated on this point, they next objected to
his omission, from the prescribed adjuration, of the words " On the true
faith of a Christian." They thus refused to recognise the validity of an
oath unaccompanied by the profession of a creed which, if plain gospel is
its exponent, forbids all oaths whatever • they disallowed a request to be
sworn on the book which alone contained their own justification of
swearing ■ and required as essential to the juratory act that it should be
performed on that very volume which seems expressly to prohibit it.
Conversations of Lord Brougham.
A little Dook with the above taking; title will shortly be published.
It will consist of the conversations held by Lord Brougham in the
House of Lords, either on presenting petitions, or whilst the debates
are going on. It is expected not to exceed 18 volumes, uniform in size
with the " Conversations of Lord Byron." The announcement has
caused an unusual excitement amongst the butter-trade.
riddle for lord ashley.
Q. Why is the condition of a medical man without patients like that
of a Sabbatarian eating a hot dinner on a Sunday ?
A. Because it is Profession without Practice.
"Prints of a East Colour, Warranted to Wash."—Some wa<
at the Yauxhall Masquerade pinned the above label on the back of lb
Nepaulese Prince.