DOI Heft:
July to December, 1850
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16606#0147
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
139
"TO ERR IS HUMAN."
"Maisteb Punch, "Edinburgh, 2\st Sept. 1850.
"Nae doot ye think yirsel verra clever wi yir jckin, and daflin,
and jeerin, and I'se no deny but what ye've some rumekumshion aboot
ye, and that ye whiles si'e the richt nail a chap on the heed- bnt, odd
man, it garred ma bluid bile the itber day, whan I saw yon long story
aboot the callant that wnd steek himsel to the Queen's tails, that
mornin she gaed to tak her bit walk on oor bonnie hill.
" I hinna blushed this thretty year; but whan I read hoo thon silly
cuif strutted aboot, and gied himsel airs, and hearken'd to what Her
Mejesty and the Prince were sayin, and prided himsel aboot liftin
doon the Royal Sprigs, as if the bits o' bairns were sae mony electric
machines choke fu' o' nobility, and juist needed to be touched to send
it aff, dirlin' through his finger-ends, chappin' at his elbows, and
kittlin' him into a' kinds o' daft-like ecstacies: odd! whan I read it,
my face bleezed up like a fluff of pouther, to think o' siccan like on-
gawns, i' the great capital o' the Scottish Empire; and then it was
verra gallin' to see yir comments on the subjec, hoo that ye did think
•ance, that naething could bate the Inglish for flunkeyism ; but noo ye
had discovered that the " Snob o' Snobs" (I ken that word means some-
thin' verra impident, though its no in my dicshonary); but, as I was
remarkin,' ye said that the royal snob actually lived at Edinburgh, and
added muckle mair sic like, castin' reflecshions on the weel earned
character for proper pride and independence, which frae time immemorial
has aye belanged to the Scottish nation. Noo, it juist happened that I
was oot at my tea last nicht, and on expressin' my indignashion at the
affront pit upon oor country; something was whispered that set me
spierin' and spierin' the day, till what do ye think I fand oot ?—that
this " Snob o' Snobs," this king o' flunkies,,this callant that lives in Edin-
burgh, and corresponds wi' "the Scotsman," is nae countryman o'
mine, but an Inglishman after a'.
" Noo, Maister Punch, I ken ye 're a guid hearted chield, that wadna
hurt the character o' ony single man wrangfully, let a be that o' a
nashion: sae, for the sake o' truth and justice, for the credit o' Auld
Reekie, and the gude name o' Scotland, juist stand oot manfully and
tell them, that for ance in yir life, ye've ta'en the wrang soo by the lug.
" Yours, verra truly,
" Saunders Mc Sawney."
THE PREMIER AT PLAY.
he North British Mail, in allusion to our
recent highly-popular cartoons of the Pre-
mier's holidays as they really are, and as
they are supposed to be, observes, that we
have made a random hit, and that the
" supposition" was the correct description,
for that " Lord John Russell was one
day last week seen enjoying himself with
his children in sending up paper balloons
into the air, and chasing them over the
lawn." This in an ordinary personage
would no doubt be a pursuit bespeaking a
mind at ease, and wholly unoccupied with
graver objects; but is it not quite clear,
that in the ca^e of Lord John Russell,
the sending up pieces of paper is to be
looked upon as balloon-flying in sport made statesmanship in earnest ?
It is always essential for a Premier to know which way the wind blows,
and as the throwing up of a straw often determines the course of
events, why may not the despatching of a balloon lead to the same
important conclusion ? The fact of Lord John's chasing the breeze-
wafted objects over the lawn would be called by his opponents a most
characteristic proceeding, for they would say, a Whig Minister always
waits to see which way the wind blows, only that he may endeavour to
follow it.
High Qualifications for a President.
The Morning Chronicle talking of Louis Napoleon, says " He rides
admirably, and looks well on horseback—most important qualities in
France." If these are qualities that are looked up to in France, we
would recommend that the candidate for the ensuing Presidency should
be selected from the equestrian company of the Hippodrome, or Mr.
Batty's Circus. The chances of success would be divided, we should
think, amongst Mazeppa, Monsieur Dejean Auriol, and the Courrier
of St. Petersburgh. The latter making his triumphal entry into Paris
on the backs of " Sis wild steeds " would be sure to carry everything
before him !
The Austrians could not thrash the Hungarians, because the Magyars
would not show them their backs.
THE INCOME-TAX EAISED UNDER THE EOSE.
"An Inhabitant of Hammersmith," describing himself as "a
poor author," has written a letter to the Times, complaining that,
whereas he returned himself, in answer to the income-tax queries, as
making £50 a-year by his pen, he has been assessed at £300, at which
rate he will be diddled out of nearly one-fifth of his earnings by the
Government. From other information we have received, we believe
that an extra wrench, generally, has been given to the vice of income-
taxation. Now is it, or is it not true, that the following communica-
tion has been issued to the Income-Tax Assessors ?
" On Her Majesty's Service, strictly Private and Confidential.
"Sib,
" You will please, in the first place, to understand that your
situation will depend on your keeping this memorandum a profound
secret.
"The exigencies of Government imperatively require that the
Income-Tax should be rendered as available as possible for the increase
of the Revenue.
"You are aware that we are under the necessity of reducing our
embassies and consulates ; that we cannot afford £2000 for the comple-
tion of the Criminal Law Digest, and are obliged to make the veterans
whom we decorate, buy their own medals. Further, that we have had
to incur the heavy expense of Mrs. Waghorn's pension, whilst we
have been unable to allot more than the pittance of £12,000 a-year to
His Royal Highness the Duke of Cambridge.
" It is also well known to you that we shall require above £26,000
for the alterations in the Parks, and a considerable sum besides to
build the Prince of Wales a coach-house and stables. Our wish is
so to effect these important objects as, whilst giving full satisfaction to
illustrious personages, not to incur the unpopularity of proposing a
new impost.
"Our end would be gained at once by a direct increase of the
income-tax. But, warned by experience not to attempt that, we must
have recourse to its virtual augmentation; for which we require your
assistance.
"You will therefore please to have the goodness forthwith to raise
your assessments of all incomes derived from trades and professions;
and, in cases where a return has been made, to assess the income of
the party making the return as considerably higher than that stated
therein. It is needless to add that zeal in the performance of this
service, united with discretion, will not be forgotten.
" You are not to exercise any needless caution in making an advance
on your assessment of professional persons or tradesmen. Her
Majesty's Ministers are emboldened to impose almost any exaction
' under the name of income-tax on those classes, by the consideration
that want of time, owing to the requirements of business, makes it
practically impossible for such persons to appeal against an overcharge.
Also, that the dislike, or dangers, of revealing their pecuniary affairs,
will induce them to submit to what, under different circumstances,
might perhaps be called the grossest extortion,
" We have, moreover, a strong reliance on the patience of those who
have so long—unresistingly, if not uncomplainingly—suffered their
casual earnings to be taxed as highly as the interest of fixed capital.
" Her Majesty's Ministers can never forget the demonstration in
favour of loyalty and order made on the ever-memorable 10th of April,
by the classes that pay income-tax under schedule D. The Government
has no doubt whatever that they will repeat their admirable behaviour
on that occasion whenever it may be necessary. We therefore fearlessly
desire you to augment their assessment under the said schedule,—con-
fident that scarcely any provocation will overcome their love of peace
and quiet; and that they will the more willingly endure the burden,
from the idea that it has been imposed to maintain the splendour of the
Duke of Cambridge, to please the taste of the Prince Consort, and
to provide for the Prince of Wales's recreation.
(Signed) " J-n R—ss—ll."
" Downing Street, Sept. 19, 1850."
Women-thrashing is considered in Austria so much better sport
than man-thrashing, that the Austrians in Hungary disdained the latter
amusement, and got the Russians to thrash the men.
The Wild Huntsman of Africa.
Mr. Rod ale yn Gordon Cummin g tells us of the sundjy rifles and
guns which he used to kill his lions, elephants, aud sea-cows ; but he
says nothing of that Long Bow wherewith he is reported to have shot
the greater part of them.
" Going the ENTIRE Animal."—Hunting the Hysena.
139
"TO ERR IS HUMAN."
"Maisteb Punch, "Edinburgh, 2\st Sept. 1850.
"Nae doot ye think yirsel verra clever wi yir jckin, and daflin,
and jeerin, and I'se no deny but what ye've some rumekumshion aboot
ye, and that ye whiles si'e the richt nail a chap on the heed- bnt, odd
man, it garred ma bluid bile the itber day, whan I saw yon long story
aboot the callant that wnd steek himsel to the Queen's tails, that
mornin she gaed to tak her bit walk on oor bonnie hill.
" I hinna blushed this thretty year; but whan I read hoo thon silly
cuif strutted aboot, and gied himsel airs, and hearken'd to what Her
Mejesty and the Prince were sayin, and prided himsel aboot liftin
doon the Royal Sprigs, as if the bits o' bairns were sae mony electric
machines choke fu' o' nobility, and juist needed to be touched to send
it aff, dirlin' through his finger-ends, chappin' at his elbows, and
kittlin' him into a' kinds o' daft-like ecstacies: odd! whan I read it,
my face bleezed up like a fluff of pouther, to think o' siccan like on-
gawns, i' the great capital o' the Scottish Empire; and then it was
verra gallin' to see yir comments on the subjec, hoo that ye did think
•ance, that naething could bate the Inglish for flunkeyism ; but noo ye
had discovered that the " Snob o' Snobs" (I ken that word means some-
thin' verra impident, though its no in my dicshonary); but, as I was
remarkin,' ye said that the royal snob actually lived at Edinburgh, and
added muckle mair sic like, castin' reflecshions on the weel earned
character for proper pride and independence, which frae time immemorial
has aye belanged to the Scottish nation. Noo, it juist happened that I
was oot at my tea last nicht, and on expressin' my indignashion at the
affront pit upon oor country; something was whispered that set me
spierin' and spierin' the day, till what do ye think I fand oot ?—that
this " Snob o' Snobs," this king o' flunkies,,this callant that lives in Edin-
burgh, and corresponds wi' "the Scotsman," is nae countryman o'
mine, but an Inglishman after a'.
" Noo, Maister Punch, I ken ye 're a guid hearted chield, that wadna
hurt the character o' ony single man wrangfully, let a be that o' a
nashion: sae, for the sake o' truth and justice, for the credit o' Auld
Reekie, and the gude name o' Scotland, juist stand oot manfully and
tell them, that for ance in yir life, ye've ta'en the wrang soo by the lug.
" Yours, verra truly,
" Saunders Mc Sawney."
THE PREMIER AT PLAY.
he North British Mail, in allusion to our
recent highly-popular cartoons of the Pre-
mier's holidays as they really are, and as
they are supposed to be, observes, that we
have made a random hit, and that the
" supposition" was the correct description,
for that " Lord John Russell was one
day last week seen enjoying himself with
his children in sending up paper balloons
into the air, and chasing them over the
lawn." This in an ordinary personage
would no doubt be a pursuit bespeaking a
mind at ease, and wholly unoccupied with
graver objects; but is it not quite clear,
that in the ca^e of Lord John Russell,
the sending up pieces of paper is to be
looked upon as balloon-flying in sport made statesmanship in earnest ?
It is always essential for a Premier to know which way the wind blows,
and as the throwing up of a straw often determines the course of
events, why may not the despatching of a balloon lead to the same
important conclusion ? The fact of Lord John's chasing the breeze-
wafted objects over the lawn would be called by his opponents a most
characteristic proceeding, for they would say, a Whig Minister always
waits to see which way the wind blows, only that he may endeavour to
follow it.
High Qualifications for a President.
The Morning Chronicle talking of Louis Napoleon, says " He rides
admirably, and looks well on horseback—most important qualities in
France." If these are qualities that are looked up to in France, we
would recommend that the candidate for the ensuing Presidency should
be selected from the equestrian company of the Hippodrome, or Mr.
Batty's Circus. The chances of success would be divided, we should
think, amongst Mazeppa, Monsieur Dejean Auriol, and the Courrier
of St. Petersburgh. The latter making his triumphal entry into Paris
on the backs of " Sis wild steeds " would be sure to carry everything
before him !
The Austrians could not thrash the Hungarians, because the Magyars
would not show them their backs.
THE INCOME-TAX EAISED UNDER THE EOSE.
"An Inhabitant of Hammersmith," describing himself as "a
poor author," has written a letter to the Times, complaining that,
whereas he returned himself, in answer to the income-tax queries, as
making £50 a-year by his pen, he has been assessed at £300, at which
rate he will be diddled out of nearly one-fifth of his earnings by the
Government. From other information we have received, we believe
that an extra wrench, generally, has been given to the vice of income-
taxation. Now is it, or is it not true, that the following communica-
tion has been issued to the Income-Tax Assessors ?
" On Her Majesty's Service, strictly Private and Confidential.
"Sib,
" You will please, in the first place, to understand that your
situation will depend on your keeping this memorandum a profound
secret.
"The exigencies of Government imperatively require that the
Income-Tax should be rendered as available as possible for the increase
of the Revenue.
"You are aware that we are under the necessity of reducing our
embassies and consulates ; that we cannot afford £2000 for the comple-
tion of the Criminal Law Digest, and are obliged to make the veterans
whom we decorate, buy their own medals. Further, that we have had
to incur the heavy expense of Mrs. Waghorn's pension, whilst we
have been unable to allot more than the pittance of £12,000 a-year to
His Royal Highness the Duke of Cambridge.
" It is also well known to you that we shall require above £26,000
for the alterations in the Parks, and a considerable sum besides to
build the Prince of Wales a coach-house and stables. Our wish is
so to effect these important objects as, whilst giving full satisfaction to
illustrious personages, not to incur the unpopularity of proposing a
new impost.
"Our end would be gained at once by a direct increase of the
income-tax. But, warned by experience not to attempt that, we must
have recourse to its virtual augmentation; for which we require your
assistance.
"You will therefore please to have the goodness forthwith to raise
your assessments of all incomes derived from trades and professions;
and, in cases where a return has been made, to assess the income of
the party making the return as considerably higher than that stated
therein. It is needless to add that zeal in the performance of this
service, united with discretion, will not be forgotten.
" You are not to exercise any needless caution in making an advance
on your assessment of professional persons or tradesmen. Her
Majesty's Ministers are emboldened to impose almost any exaction
' under the name of income-tax on those classes, by the consideration
that want of time, owing to the requirements of business, makes it
practically impossible for such persons to appeal against an overcharge.
Also, that the dislike, or dangers, of revealing their pecuniary affairs,
will induce them to submit to what, under different circumstances,
might perhaps be called the grossest extortion,
" We have, moreover, a strong reliance on the patience of those who
have so long—unresistingly, if not uncomplainingly—suffered their
casual earnings to be taxed as highly as the interest of fixed capital.
" Her Majesty's Ministers can never forget the demonstration in
favour of loyalty and order made on the ever-memorable 10th of April,
by the classes that pay income-tax under schedule D. The Government
has no doubt whatever that they will repeat their admirable behaviour
on that occasion whenever it may be necessary. We therefore fearlessly
desire you to augment their assessment under the said schedule,—con-
fident that scarcely any provocation will overcome their love of peace
and quiet; and that they will the more willingly endure the burden,
from the idea that it has been imposed to maintain the splendour of the
Duke of Cambridge, to please the taste of the Prince Consort, and
to provide for the Prince of Wales's recreation.
(Signed) " J-n R—ss—ll."
" Downing Street, Sept. 19, 1850."
Women-thrashing is considered in Austria so much better sport
than man-thrashing, that the Austrians in Hungary disdained the latter
amusement, and got the Russians to thrash the men.
The Wild Huntsman of Africa.
Mr. Rod ale yn Gordon Cummin g tells us of the sundjy rifles and
guns which he used to kill his lions, elephants, aud sea-cows ; but he
says nothing of that Long Bow wherewith he is reported to have shot
the greater part of them.
" Going the ENTIRE Animal."—Hunting the Hysena.