DOI issue:
July to December, 1850
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16606#0167
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
159
BABIES AT THE PLAY.
i he theatrical season is now
beginning, and we protest
thus early against the ad-
mission of the British baby
to the performance of the
British drama. Though not
disposed to set our face
against a child in arms—
which for various reasons is
not an agreeable process—
we feel it our duty to op-
pose the introduction of
babies to the playhouse.
Even at Astley's, the ju-
venile theatre par excel-
lence, it is unpleasant enough
to find the discharge of artil-
lery on the stage answered
by a roar of infantrvfrom the
boxes, pit, and gallery; but
when listening to a play at one of the other houses, it is absolutely
unbearable to have our attention disturbed by the shrieks of innocent
helplessness echoed by angry recommendations to "take that child
out," or by more considerate, though equally noisy suggestions to the
mother, to exercise one of the sweetest offices of maternity.
People are obliged to leave their bonnets at the door when they enter
the boxes, and why should not the same system be adopted with refe-
rence to babies. There should be a sort of nursery attached to each
entrance, where babies could be ticketed and left, either to be hung up
in baby-jumpers, which would then be really of use, or attached to the
umbrellas of those who had any to leave, until the end of the per-
formance.
ANOTHER CANDIDATE FOR A STATUE.
If a statue is erected to the " Good Duke " of Cambridge, the
same subscribers cannot do less, upon the death of another equally
charitable individual, than erect a statue to him. This gentleman, it is
true, has not the high advantage of being born a Royal Duke; but
putting this advantage aside, his claims for a statue are, in every respect,
as strong as those of the " Good Duke." He presides at public dinners
as often as he is invited—his name is never denied to a public charity,
and, "what is more, he not only gives his name but his subscription also.
The sums he has bestowed during a long life of voluntary subscriptions on
public charities must amount to many thousands. Thenameof this gentle-
man—and we mention it with proper respect—is Ma. Benjamin Bond
Cabbell. We maintain that if the Ca.mbbidge statue is erected, every
subscriber, and every charitable fund, and every charitable secretary to
it, who sends his guinea with the understanding that his name is to be
engraved on the Duke's pedestal, cannot do less than subscribe an
equal sum to a companion statue to Mb. Benjamin Bond Cabbell.
If they do not, ill-natured people will immediately say that the differ-
ence was caused by his not being connected with Royalty. What is
a virtue in a Royal Duke is but a common platitude in a private
gentleman!
A Most Moving Tale.
We see a book advertised under the singular title of the " Khan's
Tale." This must be the adventures of the celebrated tin Can, which
we all have heard of as having been so repeatedly tied to the unfortunate
dog's Tail. If so, its revelations must be a string of the most exciting
ups-and-downs, which cannot fail to make a great noise in all circles.
We think we may borrow for once the eloquent words of the Evening
Paper, and say, " We know of no book so likely to have a long run as
the Khan's Tale." _
boitevin's last folly.
It was announced the other day that M. Poitevin, the insensate
aeronaut, was going to make a balloon-ascent mounted on a live ostrich.
The notion of the wren soaring on the back of the eagle is surpasssed
by that of the goose ascending on that of the ostrich.
Glazing for the Queen's Colleges.
Those of the Irish Roman Catholic Bishops who oppose the Queen's
Colleges, seem to object to the simple light of knowledge. They
would have all instruction coloured with their theological views. These
over-zealous Prelates would allow nobody a study unless it had storied
windows. Their lordships don't consider that though " a dim religious
light" may be the illumination most suitable for worship, plain sunshine
is the fittest for work.
A COMING EVENT.
The blackamoor, under the scrubbing of the Tost and Standard, is
fast becoming an albino. Mb. George Hudson is about to return to
the politest and the highest life.
" The actions of the just
Smell sweet, and blossom in the dust."
Especially if it be gold dust. There is in that auriferous soil, a trans-
muting power that, after a time, turns hempseed into laurels. Let the
world prepare to read something like the subjoined announcement in the
Morning Post —
" Magnificent Party at Albert Gate.—Last night, George
Hudson, Esq., M.P., on his return from Coventry, entertained a vast
assemblage of bon ton. Covers (all gold) were laid for 100. A bah
followed in the evening, which the magnificent and hospitable host
opened, dancing the first quadrille with the hereditary Duchess of
Dimondbustel. Nothing could exceed the splendour of the entertain-
ment, except the suavity and high breeding of the founder of the
feast; who, on his return from Coventry, was welcomed with a fervour
and, indeed we may say, affection, commensurate with his expected
dinners, if not with his deserts.
" The exterior of the mansion has been newly stuccoed with a pure
and brilliant white, in which colour the just and thoughtful may recog-
nise a touching fitness. The stags' horns and hooves have been gilt
inch thick; and Storr and Mortimer have orders to furnish the
animals forthwith, with emerald eyes.
" It has been stated that Mr. Hudson had purchased of the Govern-
ment the marble arch to replace the small stone erection at Albert
Gate. It is true that overtures have been made, and the subject
entertained; but the statement of absolute purchase is a little
premature."
RIFF-RAFF ON RAILWAYS.
The following startling paragraph which ought to have been printed
on the most delicate pink note-paper with scented ink, has recently
appeared in the London journals :
Brighton Railway.—We understand there is a great outcry at Brighton against
the Brighton railway for the " raff" it is pouring into Brighton by its " travelling for
the million." Respectable inhabitants are fast leaving their houses in consequence, and
it becomes a question whether, if it go on, it will not presently much affect the season
tickets, and the first and second class riders. Should it do so, the Brighton policy will
be to bring in pence for the present to lose pounds hereafter.
The sensitiveness of the Brightonians is of a very peculiar kind ; for
while it winked at, or rather gloried in, the doings at the Pavilion,
which caused the importation into the town of less than doubtful
respectability and decency, the inhabitants are beginning to turn up
their noses at the poor, harmless railway excursionists, who are enabled
to enjoy a sea-breeze on Sundays for three-and-sixpence. The
Brightonians, perhaps, think that the sea was made exclusively for
them, and regarding it as a portion of their capital, they will, perhaps,
deny the "raff" the privilege of even dipping into it.
The "respectable" inhabitants are, it seems, "fast leaving their
houses," because once a week Brown, Jones, or Robinson, may be
met walking on the beach with their wives and families. We should
like to see a geography published under the superintendence of the
Brightonians for the guidance of cheap excursionists, telling them
where to go m consequence of the sea coast being prohibited. Bath and
Cheltenham must, of course, be excluded from the Atlas for the use of
the " Raff," and indeed we see nothing but the Isle of Dogs, as a
watering place, in which they would be tolerated ; for when Brighton
begins to be squeamish about " respectability," Margate and Ramsgate
may fairly lay claim to exclusiveness.
No Benefit of the Act.
Every now and then we hear of laws being continued just as they
were about to expire. We know there is a very wholesome objection
to the taking away of life under any circumstances, but there really are
some acts of Parliament which we think might be allowed to die a
natural death without a prolongation of their misery. The renewal of
their term of existence is often but a Zamiel-like sort of proceeding at
best, and the acts thus allowed to continue their course are frequently
found to go at last to where they might just as well have been suflered
to go at first for any good that has been got out of them.
the spoons of war.
A writer in an Altona paper calls upon the women to subscribe
towards the war between Holstein and Demnark. He asks lor the
precious metals in any shape. " Give up," he says, _ one table or tea-
spoon." But the ladies do not subscribe; they evidently think that
war has already had more than spoons enough.
159
BABIES AT THE PLAY.
i he theatrical season is now
beginning, and we protest
thus early against the ad-
mission of the British baby
to the performance of the
British drama. Though not
disposed to set our face
against a child in arms—
which for various reasons is
not an agreeable process—
we feel it our duty to op-
pose the introduction of
babies to the playhouse.
Even at Astley's, the ju-
venile theatre par excel-
lence, it is unpleasant enough
to find the discharge of artil-
lery on the stage answered
by a roar of infantrvfrom the
boxes, pit, and gallery; but
when listening to a play at one of the other houses, it is absolutely
unbearable to have our attention disturbed by the shrieks of innocent
helplessness echoed by angry recommendations to "take that child
out," or by more considerate, though equally noisy suggestions to the
mother, to exercise one of the sweetest offices of maternity.
People are obliged to leave their bonnets at the door when they enter
the boxes, and why should not the same system be adopted with refe-
rence to babies. There should be a sort of nursery attached to each
entrance, where babies could be ticketed and left, either to be hung up
in baby-jumpers, which would then be really of use, or attached to the
umbrellas of those who had any to leave, until the end of the per-
formance.
ANOTHER CANDIDATE FOR A STATUE.
If a statue is erected to the " Good Duke " of Cambridge, the
same subscribers cannot do less, upon the death of another equally
charitable individual, than erect a statue to him. This gentleman, it is
true, has not the high advantage of being born a Royal Duke; but
putting this advantage aside, his claims for a statue are, in every respect,
as strong as those of the " Good Duke." He presides at public dinners
as often as he is invited—his name is never denied to a public charity,
and, "what is more, he not only gives his name but his subscription also.
The sums he has bestowed during a long life of voluntary subscriptions on
public charities must amount to many thousands. Thenameof this gentle-
man—and we mention it with proper respect—is Ma. Benjamin Bond
Cabbell. We maintain that if the Ca.mbbidge statue is erected, every
subscriber, and every charitable fund, and every charitable secretary to
it, who sends his guinea with the understanding that his name is to be
engraved on the Duke's pedestal, cannot do less than subscribe an
equal sum to a companion statue to Mb. Benjamin Bond Cabbell.
If they do not, ill-natured people will immediately say that the differ-
ence was caused by his not being connected with Royalty. What is
a virtue in a Royal Duke is but a common platitude in a private
gentleman!
A Most Moving Tale.
We see a book advertised under the singular title of the " Khan's
Tale." This must be the adventures of the celebrated tin Can, which
we all have heard of as having been so repeatedly tied to the unfortunate
dog's Tail. If so, its revelations must be a string of the most exciting
ups-and-downs, which cannot fail to make a great noise in all circles.
We think we may borrow for once the eloquent words of the Evening
Paper, and say, " We know of no book so likely to have a long run as
the Khan's Tale." _
boitevin's last folly.
It was announced the other day that M. Poitevin, the insensate
aeronaut, was going to make a balloon-ascent mounted on a live ostrich.
The notion of the wren soaring on the back of the eagle is surpasssed
by that of the goose ascending on that of the ostrich.
Glazing for the Queen's Colleges.
Those of the Irish Roman Catholic Bishops who oppose the Queen's
Colleges, seem to object to the simple light of knowledge. They
would have all instruction coloured with their theological views. These
over-zealous Prelates would allow nobody a study unless it had storied
windows. Their lordships don't consider that though " a dim religious
light" may be the illumination most suitable for worship, plain sunshine
is the fittest for work.
A COMING EVENT.
The blackamoor, under the scrubbing of the Tost and Standard, is
fast becoming an albino. Mb. George Hudson is about to return to
the politest and the highest life.
" The actions of the just
Smell sweet, and blossom in the dust."
Especially if it be gold dust. There is in that auriferous soil, a trans-
muting power that, after a time, turns hempseed into laurels. Let the
world prepare to read something like the subjoined announcement in the
Morning Post —
" Magnificent Party at Albert Gate.—Last night, George
Hudson, Esq., M.P., on his return from Coventry, entertained a vast
assemblage of bon ton. Covers (all gold) were laid for 100. A bah
followed in the evening, which the magnificent and hospitable host
opened, dancing the first quadrille with the hereditary Duchess of
Dimondbustel. Nothing could exceed the splendour of the entertain-
ment, except the suavity and high breeding of the founder of the
feast; who, on his return from Coventry, was welcomed with a fervour
and, indeed we may say, affection, commensurate with his expected
dinners, if not with his deserts.
" The exterior of the mansion has been newly stuccoed with a pure
and brilliant white, in which colour the just and thoughtful may recog-
nise a touching fitness. The stags' horns and hooves have been gilt
inch thick; and Storr and Mortimer have orders to furnish the
animals forthwith, with emerald eyes.
" It has been stated that Mr. Hudson had purchased of the Govern-
ment the marble arch to replace the small stone erection at Albert
Gate. It is true that overtures have been made, and the subject
entertained; but the statement of absolute purchase is a little
premature."
RIFF-RAFF ON RAILWAYS.
The following startling paragraph which ought to have been printed
on the most delicate pink note-paper with scented ink, has recently
appeared in the London journals :
Brighton Railway.—We understand there is a great outcry at Brighton against
the Brighton railway for the " raff" it is pouring into Brighton by its " travelling for
the million." Respectable inhabitants are fast leaving their houses in consequence, and
it becomes a question whether, if it go on, it will not presently much affect the season
tickets, and the first and second class riders. Should it do so, the Brighton policy will
be to bring in pence for the present to lose pounds hereafter.
The sensitiveness of the Brightonians is of a very peculiar kind ; for
while it winked at, or rather gloried in, the doings at the Pavilion,
which caused the importation into the town of less than doubtful
respectability and decency, the inhabitants are beginning to turn up
their noses at the poor, harmless railway excursionists, who are enabled
to enjoy a sea-breeze on Sundays for three-and-sixpence. The
Brightonians, perhaps, think that the sea was made exclusively for
them, and regarding it as a portion of their capital, they will, perhaps,
deny the "raff" the privilege of even dipping into it.
The "respectable" inhabitants are, it seems, "fast leaving their
houses," because once a week Brown, Jones, or Robinson, may be
met walking on the beach with their wives and families. We should
like to see a geography published under the superintendence of the
Brightonians for the guidance of cheap excursionists, telling them
where to go m consequence of the sea coast being prohibited. Bath and
Cheltenham must, of course, be excluded from the Atlas for the use of
the " Raff," and indeed we see nothing but the Isle of Dogs, as a
watering place, in which they would be tolerated ; for when Brighton
begins to be squeamish about " respectability," Margate and Ramsgate
may fairly lay claim to exclusiveness.
No Benefit of the Act.
Every now and then we hear of laws being continued just as they
were about to expire. We know there is a very wholesome objection
to the taking away of life under any circumstances, but there really are
some acts of Parliament which we think might be allowed to die a
natural death without a prolongation of their misery. The renewal of
their term of existence is often but a Zamiel-like sort of proceeding at
best, and the acts thus allowed to continue their course are frequently
found to go at last to where they might just as well have been suflered
to go at first for any good that has been got out of them.
the spoons of war.
A writer in an Altona paper calls upon the women to subscribe
towards the war between Holstein and Demnark. He asks lor the
precious metals in any shape. " Give up," he says, _ one table or tea-
spoon." But the ladies do not subscribe; they evidently think that
war has already had more than spoons enough.