DOI issue:
July to December, 1851
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16608#0021
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
ME. PEPYS HIS GHOST AT THE QUEEN'S BALL.
oh^g^SE*^ unch has to thank his old friend,
f% Jlm^^^it^ Mr. Pepys, for the following
' IIJIP^ contribution from the Shades:—
jjmf \k /wne 13, 1851.—Prom Elysian
,-^s|f|L Vm Fields to London to the great
•iJ^Ki Iff ~^a"' wmcn *Qe QUEEN did give
^^J^W Mr to Night, in the Dress of my
Mr Time, to see the Sight and the
fiKll^illfC? Jr Dresses, and whether they do
§L '^5. ^r-~zsr ah" right or no; and much it do
\ ^fisslf^L '^-^^^ delight me to visit the World
from Time to Time, and see what
^^^^^Wh^ ooes on> au(i is as great a Plea-
^S^fi ^x.-^^^ sure' ^ think, as any I fiave, and
M\% more than I could hope for or
_i3^^^Ssp^^=J_?^^^^§^* expect. The State Rooms thrown
^ °^^^tag=- open for the Ball, and all cram-
med with fine Ladies, the greatest
of the Court, besides the Foreign
Ministers and Ambassadours' Wives, and a Throne set for the
Queen and the Prince with a Canopy of crimson Velvet fringed
with Gold, and a golden Cornice at the Top, and lined with
flowered Satin and Silver Fringe, and the Queen and Prince sitting
in the Throne together in State, wi'h so much Gold and Silver,
and Muslin, and Silks, and Satins of all Colours, and Diamonds, and
Pearls sparkling everywhere about them, and flowering Shrubs behind
their State Chairs, that made, I think, the finest Sight I ever did see
in the World, and much finer than any Thing E saw when I lived there;
and good Lack, to think what Splendour and Magnificence the World
and the Court have come to ! The Gentlemen's Dresses as fine as the
Ladies or finer, and their Doublets, Trunks, and Sieeves decked out
with Ribands and Lace, and the Fashion of their Clothes for the most
Part quite right and proper, and did do my Eyes good to see. The
Queen did wear the grand Dress of the Court of the French King that
was in my Time, mighty splendid, and more than it was then, which I
did not think possible, of grey watered Silk, trimmed with Gold and
Silver Lace and Bows of rose-coloured Ribands, fastened with Knots of
Diamonds; and the under Skirt of embroidered Cloth of Gold with
Trimmings of Silver Fringe, and the Gloves and Shoes embroidered,
too, with Gold Roses and Lilies, and four great Emeralds shaped like
Pears, and almost as big, on the Front of the Dress, cost more Money
than 1 can tell. Then to see the Prince in a Coat of Cloth of Gold
adorned with Roses and Jewels, and pink and white Feathers in his
Hat, and grey Silk Stockings, mighty handsome, beyond what I ever
saw the King^ in his Life, and I do think to get me a Suit like it. Bye-
and-bye the Band begin to play a March, and in come the Spanish
Quadrilles, danced by Lords and Ladies almost all, and then French
and Scotch and English Quadrilles, and then my Lord Steward
walking backwards like a Crab, with great Reverence, did lead the
Queen and the Prince from the Throne Room to the Ball Room, and
they did dance the Countess of Wilton's Quadrille with other great
Lords and Ladies and Gentlemen, and after that the Queen did lead
off the Polonaise, and the Company followed two and two, which Avas
mighty pretty ; and both the Queen and the Prince do dance rarely,
But to think how different the Fashion of Dancing, what with Waltzes,
and Polkas, and Gallops, is to what it was as I remember, and how
unlike the Prince do behave to the King, in dancing with the Ladies,
and the Ladies too, to the Ladies in my Time ; which is more handsome ;
but, methinks, not so much Sport. Glad and pleased mightily to hear so
many Tunes played that I knew, but did not hear " Beauty Retire" which
I expected to hear, but did not, which vexed me to the Heart. I did also
look to see them dance the Brantle, but they did not, nor the Country-
Dance w hich I did hear the King at his Great Ball at Whitehall once call
for by Name. I did see the Duke of Wellington in the Dress of a
General of the King's Troops, and mighty glad to have a Sight of him,
and to see how well he do bear his Years. But what did most delight
me was to see my Lord Chief Justice in the Robes of Judge Hale,
and did hope to see him dance therein. I did also hope Lord
Brougham would be there in the Dress of the King's Lord Chancellor,
and had set my Heart on seeing him dance the Polka, which methoaght
would be great Merriment, and am sorry I could not see. At little
after Midnight the Queen and Prince to supper, and fell to heartily,
and then back to the Ball Room to dance ; and the Queen did dance
with the Prince op Leiningen in a gold Brocade Waistcoat and
black Velvet Breeches, which I did mightily admire. The Dancing
kept up, I do think, till past two in the Morning, but I away at Cock-
crow, leaving them dancing, and I mighty delighted at what I had
beheld, and very noble it was and great Pleasure to see ; and have done
much good to Trade. So Home to Supper off Nectar and Ambrosia,
and did relate what I had seen to my Wife, and very merry we were,
only I think she did not like to hear me talk so much of the Court
Ladies ; but I do fear she, poor Wretch, is more of a Fool still than I
could have imagined, or almost believed, she being now in the State
we are in.
MEDITATIONS IN THE EXHIBITION.
BY mr. doldrums.
I visited the Crystal Palace,
And there I saw a crowd as great
As ever gathered round a gallows ;
A mob is just what I do hate.
Thought I,—This multitude immense
Seems full of happiness and glee;
Yes, but in two or three years hence
I wonder where or how they '11 be!
Those foreign goods are very well,
As something merely to behold;
But our own wares they '11 undersell,
And so will drain away our gold :
It something may the mind enlarge
To view the works of every clime ;
But then a shilling is the charge—
And so one spends both cash and time.
The Arts encouraged thus, indeed,
To many must afford employ;
But then to luxury they lead,
And that the million can't enjoy.
The people's taste they may refine;
But, on the other hand, 'tis clear
They '11 cause the masses to repine,
And wish to live above their sphere.
We may learn something good, 'tis true,
By mixing with each foreign nation;
But we shall catch their vices too.
It may be that fraternisation
With those from whom we stood aloof
Before, will foster peace and union;
But—here a Clown with hobnailed hoof
Trod right upon my favourite bunion.
TOTAL ECLIPSE OF THE INDUSTRY OF ALL NATIONS !
Should the Great Exhibition be repeated a few years hence, the
Machinery department may perhaps be enriched with an invention
which will put the nose of Friar Bacon's Brazen Head quite out of
joint. Mr. Alfred Smee, author of a work on "Electro-Biology,"
has just published another volume, entitled The Process of Thought,
wherein he says, that—
" From the laws which have been already detailed, it is apparent that thought ia
amenable to fixed principles. By taking advantage of these principles, it occurred to
me that mechanical contrivances might be formed which should obey similar laws, and
give those results which some may have considered only obtainable by the operation
of the mind itself."
In plain terms, Mr. Smee conceives it possible to construct a
thinking apparatus ; and he actually talks of a "rational" and a " dif-
ferential machine," by whose combined action he proposes to imitate
the operations of the mind. If Mr. Smee can bring these contrivances
of his to bear, he will confer a great boon upon the insane ; as those
who have lost, their wits will then perhaps be enabled to have artificial
brains made for them, as easily as a person who has suffered amputation
is supplied with a wooden leg. Advertisements will invite our attention
to "An Entirely New Description of Intellectual Faculties," or "A
New Discovery in Brains," or Mr. So and So's "Patent Cerebral
Succedaneum, Warranted Never to Decay or Fall Out." The pro-
gressive perfection of mental machinery will render it applicable to
purposes of greater and greater delicacy, and we shall have automatic
poets and musicians—mechanical_ Shakspeares and Beethovens—
actuated by steam and electricity, instead of genius ; and excelling live
bards and composers as much as a power loom excels a hand loom.
Cabinets will be literally constructed, by an improvement in Cabinet-
making, and the functions of Parliament will be executed by instruments
evolving legislative wisdom.
At present, however, it does not appear that any cogitative
machine equal to a single donkey power has been really produced; and
perhaps, on the whole, the following brief epigram, addressed to the
author of The Process of Thought, is the correct expression of the
general opinion of his project for performing that process by mecha-
nism :—
" Mr. Smee,
Fiddle-de-dee 1"
Vol. 21.
1—!
ME. PEPYS HIS GHOST AT THE QUEEN'S BALL.
oh^g^SE*^ unch has to thank his old friend,
f% Jlm^^^it^ Mr. Pepys, for the following
' IIJIP^ contribution from the Shades:—
jjmf \k /wne 13, 1851.—Prom Elysian
,-^s|f|L Vm Fields to London to the great
•iJ^Ki Iff ~^a"' wmcn *Qe QUEEN did give
^^J^W Mr to Night, in the Dress of my
Mr Time, to see the Sight and the
fiKll^illfC? Jr Dresses, and whether they do
§L '^5. ^r-~zsr ah" right or no; and much it do
\ ^fisslf^L '^-^^^ delight me to visit the World
from Time to Time, and see what
^^^^^Wh^ ooes on> au(i is as great a Plea-
^S^fi ^x.-^^^ sure' ^ think, as any I fiave, and
M\% more than I could hope for or
_i3^^^Ssp^^=J_?^^^^§^* expect. The State Rooms thrown
^ °^^^tag=- open for the Ball, and all cram-
med with fine Ladies, the greatest
of the Court, besides the Foreign
Ministers and Ambassadours' Wives, and a Throne set for the
Queen and the Prince with a Canopy of crimson Velvet fringed
with Gold, and a golden Cornice at the Top, and lined with
flowered Satin and Silver Fringe, and the Queen and Prince sitting
in the Throne together in State, wi'h so much Gold and Silver,
and Muslin, and Silks, and Satins of all Colours, and Diamonds, and
Pearls sparkling everywhere about them, and flowering Shrubs behind
their State Chairs, that made, I think, the finest Sight I ever did see
in the World, and much finer than any Thing E saw when I lived there;
and good Lack, to think what Splendour and Magnificence the World
and the Court have come to ! The Gentlemen's Dresses as fine as the
Ladies or finer, and their Doublets, Trunks, and Sieeves decked out
with Ribands and Lace, and the Fashion of their Clothes for the most
Part quite right and proper, and did do my Eyes good to see. The
Queen did wear the grand Dress of the Court of the French King that
was in my Time, mighty splendid, and more than it was then, which I
did not think possible, of grey watered Silk, trimmed with Gold and
Silver Lace and Bows of rose-coloured Ribands, fastened with Knots of
Diamonds; and the under Skirt of embroidered Cloth of Gold with
Trimmings of Silver Fringe, and the Gloves and Shoes embroidered,
too, with Gold Roses and Lilies, and four great Emeralds shaped like
Pears, and almost as big, on the Front of the Dress, cost more Money
than 1 can tell. Then to see the Prince in a Coat of Cloth of Gold
adorned with Roses and Jewels, and pink and white Feathers in his
Hat, and grey Silk Stockings, mighty handsome, beyond what I ever
saw the King^ in his Life, and I do think to get me a Suit like it. Bye-
and-bye the Band begin to play a March, and in come the Spanish
Quadrilles, danced by Lords and Ladies almost all, and then French
and Scotch and English Quadrilles, and then my Lord Steward
walking backwards like a Crab, with great Reverence, did lead the
Queen and the Prince from the Throne Room to the Ball Room, and
they did dance the Countess of Wilton's Quadrille with other great
Lords and Ladies and Gentlemen, and after that the Queen did lead
off the Polonaise, and the Company followed two and two, which Avas
mighty pretty ; and both the Queen and the Prince do dance rarely,
But to think how different the Fashion of Dancing, what with Waltzes,
and Polkas, and Gallops, is to what it was as I remember, and how
unlike the Prince do behave to the King, in dancing with the Ladies,
and the Ladies too, to the Ladies in my Time ; which is more handsome ;
but, methinks, not so much Sport. Glad and pleased mightily to hear so
many Tunes played that I knew, but did not hear " Beauty Retire" which
I expected to hear, but did not, which vexed me to the Heart. I did also
look to see them dance the Brantle, but they did not, nor the Country-
Dance w hich I did hear the King at his Great Ball at Whitehall once call
for by Name. I did see the Duke of Wellington in the Dress of a
General of the King's Troops, and mighty glad to have a Sight of him,
and to see how well he do bear his Years. But what did most delight
me was to see my Lord Chief Justice in the Robes of Judge Hale,
and did hope to see him dance therein. I did also hope Lord
Brougham would be there in the Dress of the King's Lord Chancellor,
and had set my Heart on seeing him dance the Polka, which methoaght
would be great Merriment, and am sorry I could not see. At little
after Midnight the Queen and Prince to supper, and fell to heartily,
and then back to the Ball Room to dance ; and the Queen did dance
with the Prince op Leiningen in a gold Brocade Waistcoat and
black Velvet Breeches, which I did mightily admire. The Dancing
kept up, I do think, till past two in the Morning, but I away at Cock-
crow, leaving them dancing, and I mighty delighted at what I had
beheld, and very noble it was and great Pleasure to see ; and have done
much good to Trade. So Home to Supper off Nectar and Ambrosia,
and did relate what I had seen to my Wife, and very merry we were,
only I think she did not like to hear me talk so much of the Court
Ladies ; but I do fear she, poor Wretch, is more of a Fool still than I
could have imagined, or almost believed, she being now in the State
we are in.
MEDITATIONS IN THE EXHIBITION.
BY mr. doldrums.
I visited the Crystal Palace,
And there I saw a crowd as great
As ever gathered round a gallows ;
A mob is just what I do hate.
Thought I,—This multitude immense
Seems full of happiness and glee;
Yes, but in two or three years hence
I wonder where or how they '11 be!
Those foreign goods are very well,
As something merely to behold;
But our own wares they '11 undersell,
And so will drain away our gold :
It something may the mind enlarge
To view the works of every clime ;
But then a shilling is the charge—
And so one spends both cash and time.
The Arts encouraged thus, indeed,
To many must afford employ;
But then to luxury they lead,
And that the million can't enjoy.
The people's taste they may refine;
But, on the other hand, 'tis clear
They '11 cause the masses to repine,
And wish to live above their sphere.
We may learn something good, 'tis true,
By mixing with each foreign nation;
But we shall catch their vices too.
It may be that fraternisation
With those from whom we stood aloof
Before, will foster peace and union;
But—here a Clown with hobnailed hoof
Trod right upon my favourite bunion.
TOTAL ECLIPSE OF THE INDUSTRY OF ALL NATIONS !
Should the Great Exhibition be repeated a few years hence, the
Machinery department may perhaps be enriched with an invention
which will put the nose of Friar Bacon's Brazen Head quite out of
joint. Mr. Alfred Smee, author of a work on "Electro-Biology,"
has just published another volume, entitled The Process of Thought,
wherein he says, that—
" From the laws which have been already detailed, it is apparent that thought ia
amenable to fixed principles. By taking advantage of these principles, it occurred to
me that mechanical contrivances might be formed which should obey similar laws, and
give those results which some may have considered only obtainable by the operation
of the mind itself."
In plain terms, Mr. Smee conceives it possible to construct a
thinking apparatus ; and he actually talks of a "rational" and a " dif-
ferential machine," by whose combined action he proposes to imitate
the operations of the mind. If Mr. Smee can bring these contrivances
of his to bear, he will confer a great boon upon the insane ; as those
who have lost, their wits will then perhaps be enabled to have artificial
brains made for them, as easily as a person who has suffered amputation
is supplied with a wooden leg. Advertisements will invite our attention
to "An Entirely New Description of Intellectual Faculties," or "A
New Discovery in Brains," or Mr. So and So's "Patent Cerebral
Succedaneum, Warranted Never to Decay or Fall Out." The pro-
gressive perfection of mental machinery will render it applicable to
purposes of greater and greater delicacy, and we shall have automatic
poets and musicians—mechanical_ Shakspeares and Beethovens—
actuated by steam and electricity, instead of genius ; and excelling live
bards and composers as much as a power loom excels a hand loom.
Cabinets will be literally constructed, by an improvement in Cabinet-
making, and the functions of Parliament will be executed by instruments
evolving legislative wisdom.
At present, however, it does not appear that any cogitative
machine equal to a single donkey power has been really produced; and
perhaps, on the whole, the following brief epigram, addressed to the
author of The Process of Thought, is the correct expression of the
general opinion of his project for performing that process by mecha-
nism :—
" Mr. Smee,
Fiddle-de-dee 1"
Vol. 21.
1—!